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I might get a pity fuck if I happen to be dying

25 is the beginning of gay death...because its all down hill..soon you'll be 30..then 35..in a club trying to pick up some 21 year old..soon you become that 45 year old who smiles and gives the eye to every young guy you see...if you have money you'll become a sugar daddy..no money..some creepy guy who wants to buy u a drink and within the convo you mention mother who lives with you(when you live with her)... Lol..j/K I have a crazy imagination..

I started to reply to this crap, but decided I didn't feel like being banned. :mad:
 
at least you have one hell of a best friend.

Theoretically. He hasn't had to put his money where his mouth is--or anything else--so who's to say what would really happen when it came right down to it.
 
Thanks for all of the advice. I really didn't mean to be so whiny about this. This is just a rough time for me. My birthday is less than two weeks.
 
Theoretically. He hasn't had to put his money where his mouth is--or anything else--so who's to say what would really happen when it came right down to it.

I wouldn't make him follow through. If I were really dying, I don't think I'd care very much about sex.

I haven't met my friend, actually. We've been friends online for almost eight years. I love him. I've been stabbed in the back by best friends in real life...hence some of my aforementioned trust issues. I don't have any "real" friends.
 
Everyone is entitled to whine sometimes. :lol: Don't beat yourself up. (*8*)
 
A lot, or most, of your low self esteem can probably be attributed to your being overweight. I was there, I know what it's like. You need to make the decision to live a healthy lifestyle and get rid of problem #1 before you'll be able to be happy. Plain and simple. One step at a time. Start now.

what he said...

Well, the first step in effecting change is being unhappy enough with the status quo that you actually want to change.

Are you there yet?

If so, let's work on getting you to a better spot. No, you won't be trim and self-confident and have an amazing relationship with a guy with a ten-inch cock tomorrow. Or next week. Or probably next month. But if you're ready to start changing, let us know, and maybe we can help.

Don't spend time staring behind you. Wishing you hadn't "wasted" that part of your life. That part is set in stone now.

Turn around. Face the future.
That's the part you can change. :)

Lex (who lost his virginity at age 25)

and what he said.

it isn't easy but you really have taken the first step: you realize you're not happy and you know you need to make a change.

seriously there is no time like the present. and trust me, i've been where you're at. let me tell you, it isn't easy and it takes commitment and a willingness to get knocked down and get back up again. nothing worth having comes easy.

i think you can do it. so go for it. what have you got to loose? :)
 
You can do anything
+1. Especially when you break down your goal into a list of easily-achievable baby steps. Don't bite off more than you can chew (by trying to do too much too fast) and set yourself up for failure.

Stick to your plan, don't give up, and you'll get there. The alternative is to be in the same place you are now a few years from now.
 
Guys .. if you really just want sex ..
the bad news: nobody is gonna drop on your head and fuck you senseless
the good news: you can have sex on this very same day. register for whatever hookup site is popular in your part of the world and pick someone. if you want it today be prepared to lower your standard (unless you're ridiculously hot).

but let's be realistic. you're not just looking for sex .. right?
 
I know your weight's bothering you personally, and you have every right to want to change that, but do you realize how many chub-chasers there are?

No matter what you look like, there are people who are attracted to your body type. Seriously.




I think it would be awesome if you did one of the following:


A) Find a chaser who loves your body as it is.


B) Become a contestant on The Biggest Loser
 
Blackmailing yourself isnt the way to keeping healthy, need to have that inner motivation to inspire yourself to do it.
 
I know your weight's bothering you personally, and you have every right to want to change that, but do you realize how many chub-chasers there are?

No matter what you look like, there are people who are attracted to your body type. Seriously.




I think it would be awesome if you did one of the following:


A) Find a chaser who loves your body as it is.


B) Become a contestant on The Biggest Loser


No offense to all the chasers out there, but it wouldn't do much for my self-esteem if the only way I could have sex was to find someone with a very serious fat fetish. Besides, my issues with my appearance aren't the only problem I have regarding sex. I have to address my issues with trust and intimacy first. Basically, I have far too many of my own problems to be able to deal with anyone else's, so a relationship is out of the question.

I'd kill to be on the Biggest Loser. I've never had the balls to actually audition, though. Plus, they've been recruiting teams for the last several seasons and I don't have anyone to audition with.

I really appreciate all of the advice in this thread. I'm feeling better today. It really is time for me to get my ass in gear and I think I'm going to start now.
 
On my 25th birthday, I hit a bathhouse and spent a raucous, wildly enjoyable night.

Although I wasn't a virgin, it is proof that you are only a virgin at 25 because you've chosen to be one.
 
>>>No offense to all the chasers out there, but it wouldn't do much for my self-esteem if the only way I could have sex was to find someone with a very serious fat fetish.

Let's say you lose a ton of weight, and end up with a killer body. And some guy comes around wanting a piece of it. Where's the difference, really?

>>>I'd kill to be on the Biggest Loser. I've never had the balls to actually audition, though.

You don't need somebody yelling at you to lose weight. Seriously. I was at 250 for a few years before I finally decided I was tired of it. My entire outlay:

$85 WiiFit
$20 some exercise shorts
$5 water bottle

$110. And I dropped 40 lbs. (OK, 39 - I'm at 211.) Because I wanted to. And yeah, it's taken several months. But because I started several months ago, I'm at 211 lbs NOW. If you had started months ago, you'd have lost weight for now. So get started now - for the you in several months.

>>>It really is time for me to get my ass in gear and I think I'm going to start now.

Don't think it. Do it. Start slow. Slight changes in diet, more exercise. Start now.

Lex
 
I really appreciate all of the advice in this thread. I'm feeling better today. It really is time for me to get my ass in gear and I think I'm going to start now.

as they sang it in rocky horror: don't dream it - be it.

good luck to you man. :)
 
NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO CHANGE

You're not getting any younger since you seem to validate your life based on what age you 'accomplish' things. There's plenty of time to make steps toward self-improvement. Right now you're letting self-fulfilling bullshit ideals rule your life. Try to catch yourself doing this and do ONE good thing for yourself. Fix your diet for one day, go on a walk. Start small. Weight loss seems hard at first but once you start, it's not that bad. In fact, it's fun. Cut soda out of your diet. I drank more soda than the average fat guy when I was fat but just by cutting it out I dropped about 15-20 pounds. I lost a total of 80 pounds so far since I was fat.

Quit feeling sorry for your self and WANT the change! You're strong enough to make it happen but you're using the energy to be down on yourself, rather than strive for any positive change. You're not happy with yourself, so work on that! Don't just feel sorry for yourself. You have no reason to, despite all your justifications.
 
Try this regimen for the next two weeks:

Cut out all high glycemic carbs (you can find lists on the internet): no alcohol or fruit juices, no fruit except for berries, no potatoes, carrots, or grains, including bread, pasta and breakfast cereals. Eat fish and lean meats and eggs, and all varieties of vegetables except as noted above. No cured meats, no soft drinks (no matter what the label says) and no pre-packaged snacks. No desserts. Use olive oil and vinegar and/or lemon and forget other oils and salad dressings. Five meals a day rather than three (three major, two minor), and don't indulge in constant snacking. Forget the salt, or at least go very light.

After two weeks you can add fruit (in moderation, but stay away from bananas), and slow-cooked oatmeal (such as steel-cut--forget the instant kind). Once week you can cheat and eat just about anything, but in moderation.

Join a gym. Investigate workout programs (try the online Testosterone Mag for a start--it will link to programs). Remember that a fast-paced workout emphasizing weights will build more muscle and shed more fat than hours of walking at an easy pace on a treadmill. (If you're doing aerobics you need to push it.)

Don't be sensitive about how you look, or let it keep you from the gym. You need to remember that you'll hardly be noticed. I know it's hard to believe, but trust me. Only when you loose weight and gain muscle and start looking hot is anyone going to pay attention to you.

So clear the kitchen of all of the crap and start living a healthier life!
 
^ (*S*) Overload! :badgrin:

IMO, all of that is what you work up to. Trying to start out there would be overwhelming and difficult. I think you have to make small, easy changes. Get some progress under your belt that encourages you to build up from there.

Make one or two changes in diet and exercise at first. Cutting out, or severely cutting back on, soda and alcohol is a good start for diet. Lots of empty calories there. Throwing on some sweats and going for a brisk 20-30 minute walk is an easy one for exercise that doesn't require money and a contract to do. You could do it right now.
 
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