I Thought I Knew - Book 1 and Book 2

[hardreader]

First, to H.R. Even though he wasn't physically there when these things were occurring among these three young men, I can't help but consider him a part of the story by the way he's responded to many of the comments. Almost like a virtual/dynamic/real-time narrator and commentator. He's as important a part of this story because of the commentary as the main characters are.

Again, thanks for all your kind words. I want to give you a heads up on one thing. You noted that I "wasn't physically there when these things were occurring among these three young men..." Well, when you get to Book 3, you will find out that in at least one chapter I was physically there in a very interactive way. And at Jess' insistence that occasion is included. I'll tell you it was very difficult for me to write. It's hard enough to try to accurately describe the actions and intentions of other people, but to do it for yourself when what is happening is so ... well this is ITIK so you can imagine and will eventually undoubtedly read. I hope that after you have read it you will still think of me as highly as you do now.

 

[Brazen68]

Re: I Thought I Knew

Being outed can be a bitch of a rollercoaster ride, but those rides almost always come back to the platform in one piece. Good luck to you.

^^ from Page 7

omg those words just hit me like a Mack Truck. Profoundly accurate, and it leapt off the screen at me like a huge mirror in my face.

*one of those 'why do I keep putting it off' moments*














Damn you

 

[hardreader]

Re: I Thought I Knew

brazen68 -- I don't know how many readers have sort of pegged Billy as a dumb jock. He is really smart, even if he let's his cock head do his thinking way more often than it should. He let's himself get completely overwhelmed by his sexual urges and needs and doesn't ever stop to think how that may look to others. To him it was a great blow job, or fuck or whatever and never a bad choice as long as the BJ or fuck was good for him. Selfish? ... Sorry, Billy, but sometimes you are. Smart? When you think with your brain.

But using his brain, he can be a very smart guy.

 

[Brazen68]

Re: I Thought I Knew

Hey Jess, Billy, Justin and HR,
This is my first post on JUB, just got my account about three minutes ago, and there's a reason for it.
About a week ago I found this story while looking for something as an alternative to your everyday visual "entertainment." At first I wasn't sure if this story was what I was looking for, but it started to grow on me. I started to try to find time to slip away for a little while and read a chapter, or stay up late at night reading three or four. You see, I'm currently going through some of the same things that you three boys went through(but without all the sex ). I'm discovering myslef. At first my feelings kind of freaked me out, but after reading your story every night for what felt like hours at a time, I feeling more relaxed about it all now. It give me a feeling that I hadn't had before, I felt that I wasn't alone. Where I am, and at my school, there aren't a lot of gay guys that I can learn something from, but I have been learning something about myself from you. Your story has helped me a lot lately, but there isn't any one thing in paticular that I can put into words(besides helping me get my rocks off from time to time ).

I just wrote far more than I had planned, but I guess the main thing that I wanted to say was Thank You. You really don't know what you have done for me, and I'm truely gratefull.

Peace and Love,
~Cam

p.s. I finally got all caught up tonight as you might have guessed, I can't wait for the next chapter on Wednesday! Until now I've never had to really wait for a new chapter! I'll be looking forward to it!

This post put me over the emotional edge. I have felt as inspired and empowered by reading this story as Cam, and even though this is 10 years since he's written it - the words, and the emotional state behind those words, are exactly where I am standing. I just turned 50 years old yesterday and right now I feel like I'm 18 again. Scared, alone, not able to understand all these feelings and desires and not having a single person to talk to them about, and no internet to find support. If I was 18 right now, reading this story...

“Guys, I gotta know if I’m straight or gay. I don’t want to be some old confused dude in my 20s still trying to figure this shit out. I don’t want to waste my life. Wake up one morning and realize I’d done it all wrong.

This story, Jess' statement at age 18, Cam's stepping forward... it's all broken me down to my core. No more walls of protection at this very moment and believe me I'm a pro at keeping them up. If Jess could hear me... I am that old confused dude in his 20's, and then 30's, and then 40's, and now just starting into his 50's. I never had the foresight in my teens that keeping all of this inside and clamped down would eventually catch up with me. I instinctively thought if I ignored it and went on in life as others expected, none of it would matter. I don't have regrets in how I lived. I have a wonderful family with many incredible memories. But I am not all who I was born to be. I only exist on a portion of who I completely am. Like an 8 cylinder engine with only 2 pistons allowed to function. It's exhausting.

I'm not even sure I want to read further than page 8, Chapter 29, Part IV. I need to step back and not allow myself to get so personally involved in a story about 3 young men I have never known nor will ever know. I don't think any of them are active on this site as it is, and I'm shocked H.R. actually is. Anyway, I only wish I had the courage Jess did when he confided in Billy. And yet I don't, because it would have changed the trajectory of my life and I wouldn't have the family I have today. Going through a daily internal war within yourself is something I hope Jess was able to avoid. I wish him the best.

Okay, I'm done baring my soul and embarrassing myself out in the open. I'm going back to my cocoon. Carry on.

 

[hardreader]

I'm not even sure I want to read further than page 8, Chapter 29, Part IV. I need to step back and not allow myself to get so personally involved in a story about 3 young men I have never known nor will ever know. I don't think any of them are active on this site as it is, and I'm shocked H.R. actually is. Anyway, I only wish I had the courage Jess did when he confided in Billy. And yet I don't, because it would have changed the trajectory of my life and I wouldn't have the family I have today. Going through a daily internal war within yourself is something I hope Jess was able to avoid. I wish him the best.

Okay, I'm done baring my soul and embarrassing myself out in the open. I'm going back to my cocoon. Carry on.

Like Cameron did 10 years before you, you have opened up your heart and hopes and fears to all of us. That is not a time to go "back to my cocoon." You have already become involved in the boys' stories. A few more steps will take you to what they discovered and I don't really believe you want to deny yourself that. ITIK is all about discovery and growth ... sometimes joyous ... sometimes painful.

You must be reading this project as few other late comers to reading it do. You are reading the comments, which in so many cases are telling stories and reaction to this project just as compelling as the stories Billy & Justin & Jess are telling. They include stories discovering and celebrating their true inner selves and guys still struggling with who they are. And now yours is one of those true stories. Don't leave us without finishing what you have started.

Stay happy. And stay hard!

-- H.R.

 

[inbed]

It's the last day of the year. I love your story and your style. Thank you for inviting us into your imagination. We owe you a big bucket of endless precum.

 

[AdirondackAdonis]

Just finished Chapter 8 -- You definitely have the kill to make a guy hard, horny and hankering for more!!! So glad you introduced me to your site that I joined up.
PS -- got my hand slapped on mastodon. Don't know how to flag posts. Please show me how (if and when they unfreeze my account) Leonard

 

[hardreader]

Just finished Chapter 8 -- You definitely have the skill to make a guy hard, horny and hankering for more!!! So glad you introduced me to your site that I joined up.
PS -- got my hand slapped on mastodon. Don't know how to flag posts. Please show me how (if and when they unfreeze my account) Leonard

Thanks for taking my suggestion that you read "I Thought I Knew" seriously. I had discerned from your humblr blog and the little bit we chatted that this was something that you might enjoy. While you don't say it specifically, your reference to my "skill to make a guy hard, horny and hankering for more!!!" makes me think perhaps you are personally enjoying the more erotic aspects of this project. Needless to say, it was. meant to stir that up in the reader. It was quite intentional. I wanted to make sure that the reader appreciated the same yearnings as the friends that I write about experience. I'll check that task off as accomplished.

I'm glad you also are enjoying the JUB site in its totality. It is a friendly and welcoming place for guys. As for your questions about humblr, we should probably sort those out on that site, if they ever let you back in. Having been banned from Tumblr some years ago, I know how unpleasant that can be.

Please keep reading. And please keep your fellow followers of ITIK informed about your progress and thoughts about the project. And most important of all ...

Stay happy. And stay hard!

-- H.R.

 

[AdirondackAdonis]

Thanks for taking my suggestion that you read "I Thought I Knew" seriously. I had discerned from your humblr blog and the little bit we chatted that this was something that you might enjoy. While you don't say it specifically, your reference to my "skill to make a guy hard, horny and hankering for more!!!" makes me think perhaps you are personally enjoying the more erotic aspects of this project. Needless to say, it was. meant to stir that up in the reader. It was quite intentional. I wanted to make sure that the reader appreciated the same yearnings as the friends that I write about experience. I'll check that task off as accomplished.

I'm glad you also are enjoying the JUB site in its totality. It is a friendly and welcoming place for guys. As for your questions about humblr, we should probably sort those out on that site, if they ever let you back in. Having been banned from Tumblr some years ago, I know how unpleasant that can be.

Please keep reading. And please keep your fellow followers of ITIK informed about your progress and thoughts about the project. And most important of all ...

Stay happy. And stay hard!

-- H.R.

The second part (staying hard) will be made easier by reading your writing!! The first part (staying happy) would happen if I could meet a guy like you in real ife.....
In chapter 8 you refer to 'starlight70'. What's the link for him? Can't find it anywhere.

 

[hardreader]

The second part (staying hard) will be made easier by reading your writing!! The first part (staying happy) would happen if I could meet a guy like you in real ife.....
In chapter 8 you refer to 'starlight70'. What's the link for him? Can't find it anywhere.

I am pretty sure that over the years at some point that link went away. But feel free to ask me questions anytime. I'll always do my best to give you all I know.

And thanks for the compliment!

Read on.

-- H.R.

 

[AdirondackAdonis]

I am pretty sure that over the years at some point that link went away. But feel free to ask me questions anytime. I'll always do my best to give you all I know.

And thanks for the compliment!

Read on.

-- H.R.

Are you on twitter, newtumbl, explicitr, instagram or facebook? I'm on all of them and if you are, I could follow your blogs until mastodon unfreezes mine. Or would you consider exchanging e-maila addresses?

 

[hardreader]

Can you adjust your JUB settings so that I can send you Personal Messages (PMs) here?

 

[AdirondackAdonis]

How do I do that? Searched everywhere for personal settings to no avail.....

 

[AdirondackAdonis]

Found personal settings and checked 'Request A Read Receipt'. Is that all I need to do?

 

[hardreader]

It's been a while since I dealt with it. But that didn't seem to fix the issue. I'll check on it a little later and get back to you.

--H.R.

 

[hardreader]

Here is how you activate Private messaging. Sign in to JUB. At the top right side look for My Settings (next to Log Out). Click on My Settings.

The page that comes up has a column on the left that says My Messages in a short blue bar. Scroll down that bar to My Settings. The second set of options under My Settings is My Account. In the. My Account options list the second choice is General Settings. Click on General Settings. On the next page the comes up you will find a Long Blue bar toward the top of the page that says General Settings: (your JUB name). The second major ategory under General Settings is PRIVATE Messaging in bold type. In that group the first choice is Private Messaging on. Click that choice.

There is one more step. Scroll to the bottom of that page and click on the Save Changes box on the right hand side.

That should get the job done. Let me know.

 

[Briacon429]

I know I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this is one of the best stories on here!

I’ll be honest: I’ve gotten really picky about what I read. So much of what you find online is cliched or amateurish or whatever. But on the other hand, that crap makes me appreciate great writing that much more! I almost wish I’d read this when it first came out years ago, though I hadn’t heard of JUB back then. But I guess it’s for the best, because there’s a huge benefit to reading it now: you can binge on as many chapters as you want!

Every time I pick up this story, I get hooked. Originally I just liked seeing Billy and Jess discovering themselves, with Justin’s help of course— and that motorcycle scene was one for the ages! Then the story took some twists and turns I hadn’t expected, which I won’t ruin for anyone who hasn’t read them. Now I’m on Book 3, and I still get surprised at how it stays fresh and sexy, and it keeps going in new directions. I’m kind of dreading the idea of finishing it, though I guess I could always start over and re-read it from the beginning....

 

[DonQuixote]

Briacon,
HR certainly does raise the bar with his tale telling.
Having experienced the reader interplay as we read and posted chapter by chapter, I still have very fond memories.
I was completely closeted for years. This past year I have started to carefully explore and enjoy some of what I've read.

 

[mount]

I enjoyed reading this story; I've always liked reading porn because it really gets my juices flowing. And this story did just that. I was reminded of Gordon Merrick's The Lord Won't Mind trilogy. It's interesting to read about guys as they navigate the discovery and exploration of their sexuality. It sometimes reminds me of my own experiences.
I applaud HR's work and would like to read more of his stories. From what I've explored on this forum, I'd say it's the best on here.

 

[Cowboypete]

Re: I Thought I Knew

Amazing job of writing this is great stuff