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If you cheated on your partner. Would you confess?

If you cheated on your partner. Would you confess?

  • Yes I would confess

    Votes: 25 53.2%

  • No I would not

    Votes: 7 14.9%

  • Not sure

    Votes: 9 19.1%

  • I need a cocktail

    Votes: 6 12.8%
  • Total voters
    47
  • Poll closed .
Jayden

Jayden

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If you cheated on your partner. Would you confess. Or say nothing?

Discuss......
 
undiesinabunch said:
The only thing worse than being a cheating scumbag is not owning up to it.
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Wow, that's very judgmental of you.

I wouldn't say anything. If I cheated, I was clean, and it didn't happen again, I don't see the problem.

I myself wouldn't cheat but I don't judge either.
 
If you confess to cheating what exactly is to be gained? If your partner doesn't suspect anything and you confess then all you're doing is hurting someone else to soften your own guilty conscious.

I've never cheated and doubt I ever would, but if I did I'd have to really look at why I was confessing - not to mention cheating in the first place - and the true reason behind it.

I note that many of the responses above state "I'd be so guilty I'd have to confess" or words to that affect. How exactly does confessing to your partner lessen that guilt. And how would you expect your partner to react?

I can see the cheater pulling the "well at least I owned up to it and was honest about it" as the relationship and most of your clothes go out the window, transfering the responsibility of ending the relationship to the other person.

If you cheat there's obviously something you're trying to prove or disprove in the relationship and once you confess and break that trust you can never get it back.

Anyone who claims that by confessing your being honest is already delusional, because by cheating in the first place you've proven yourself deceitful even if it was only a 1 time fuck up.
 
I have never cheated. But I do think I would confess if I did.
 
Huntneo(PT) said:
Yes, and I can't understand someone trying to rationalize a reason not to do so. Not surprising though...:rolleyes:
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I'm not rationalising not confessing, I'm asking what your partner gets out of it by you admitting you can't keep it to yourself,. What exactly are you hoping for by owning up, a wipe the card clean card?

Frankly, if he has no idea, and you tell him why are you doing it. You've already blown the trust factor, telling him will only make it worse. Frankly if you cheat you should just dump his arse.

Enter Exhibit 1, a cheating man who for whatever reason cheated on his partner

Enter Exhibit 2, a faithful boyfriend with complete trust in his partner, who is about to tell him "sorry hon, I fucking cheated, but hey, I'm honest so all is good"

What exactly does the partner who is now in a position of losing all trust gain from you admitting you can't keep it to yourself?

Admitting you cheated is nothing more than an attempt to shift blame for the break up to someone else. Let's face it, if you had problems and thought the relationship was salvageable you would have worked at it, not worked on some other guys dick.
 
yes, i would. whatever happens after that happens. i'm willing to take the consequences of my actions. i won't cheat on my partner but who am i to say being that i've never been in a relationship or have been in that situation. i'll try my best to be faithful. i just hope my partner doesn't cheat on me or makes me go off and do such a thing.
 
Huntneo(PT) said:
^ well, we'll have to agree to disagree. I don't share your feelings...but I can understand where you're coming from because I feel the same way about lying and secrets.
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We're friends darlin' of course we can agree to disagree. Cheating is a volatile subject and I will never allow myself to stay with one. Regardless of the reasons, there is a better choice then having a drunken night with some losers dick up your butt :badgrin:
 
If it ever did happen, then yes, yes I would confess. I couldn't live with myself otherwise.

Frankly, I'd expect the same. If my partner cheated, I'd rather know than not.
 
I don't believe I could cheat on my would be lover/partner. I was raised to say what I need to say when it really matters. Still, if on the off chance I ever did. I would tell my partner to at least give him the closure he would need to move on. Its such a shitty thing to cheat on someone and it feels so horrible to be cheated on, I have seen the devastation that it has had on my best friends, it kinda scares me. :cry:
 
Would never do it but yes I would. The guilt would be too overwhelming.
 
I would want my partner to tell me, so yes I would tell him. It would be something that would need to be addressed. What happens if the truth comes up later by accident? That would make me look like a liar. I don't see not confessing as 'saving your relationship the trouble.' Trouble was made when you cheated! The least you could do is be honest, and that makes you look mature enough to handle the mess you make.
 
I can see both sides of this, which surprises me, actually. I believe in forgiveness and that even moral failure does not have to be fatal to a relationship.

I really have a hard time believing that cheating just happens. A man leaves home as a faithful, committed partner and returns home having fallen into sin? I doubt it. I think the slide has been greased for failure. Somewhere along the line he has toyed with the idea of sex outside the relationship. Either the relationship has been neglected in some way or the couple has some issues they are not facing together. I think cheating happens in the heart before it ever happens in the act.

One side of the coin for me is when the cheater says he cannot live with his guilt. I have to ask the question "what if, by unburdening yourself, you lay a burden on your partner too great for him to bear?" While your conscience may now be clear, you may have killed something in him. The flip side is the danger of this secret eating away at the cheater over time and ultimately destroying the relationship or at least it's intimacy. Secrets have a way of doing that.

While I can understand both sides, I don't think there are easy answers. It only shows me how destructive cheating is to the most important relationship any of us will ever have.
 
I respect my husband enough that I would in fact tell him. But I also respect him enough that it would never come to that. I wouldn't cheat.

Lying to him about it is like cheating on him all over again.
 
AshyPhoenix said:
I'm a one-man kind of guy (hell, I even rebuffed advances from guys who were interested in me because I had a regular fuckbuddy, as strange as that sounds), so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't cheat.

That being said, if I did cheat, there's no way I wouldn't own up to it. I'd just be too wracked with guilt to not be able to tell him.
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Totally agree. ..|
 
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