If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

[JPGhost]

I believe masculinity is not one dimensional while we're multi dimensional creatures. Im secure enough not to become totally to the most feminine realm because parts of me just dont have what it takes to get there ie; motherly, intensely passive,too emotional, etc..
although somehow I like flashy stuff but it's more like a peacock who loves his feathers

 

[G-Lexington]

I have some feminine traits. I like to sit with my legs crossed. I often point at things with a flourish of my wrist. My laugh sometimes ramps upwards into giggle territory. I'll go buy scented candles.

And some straight people consider these affectations. Things I do deliberately in order to "fit in" with the gay community. Thing is - it never feels like an act. I don't ever recall forcing my laugh up. I don't recall sitting with my legs uncrossed and thinking "you should cross your legs - it's more gay that way". If it's an "act", it's so engrained in me that I don't ever recall seeing the script, and it's become completely second nature, if not first nature. But if someone wants to consider these things an "act", that's their call.

Similarly, I have some masculine traits. My voice is low, I dress in T-shirts and jeans, I like going to sporting events and hollering. I love rock music.

And some gay people consider these affectations. Things I do to "fit in" with the straight community. Thing is - it never feels like an act. I don't recall forcing my voice down. I don't recall seeing an item of clothing, really wanting it, then deciding against it because "that looks too gay". I don't recall having to force myself to buy tickets to sporting events. I don't recall feeling the need to crank the rock so people won't think I'm a homo. If it's an "act", it's so engrained in me that I don't ever recall seeing the script, and it's become completely second nature, if not first nature. But if someone wants to consider these things an "act", that's their call.

Lex

 

[sixthson]

To me, the expression smacks more of an insecurity issue than self loathing. But if OKcupid is a hookup site, isn't it used to describe what you prefer, like top or bottom. Do you really care if they are a closet case as long as they make you hard and you get to cum?

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

I'm gay acting.

There, someone used the term.

Going back to video games now.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

What term would you all prefer?

Let's start promoting that instead of whining.

 

[gsdx]

Despite your reaction, what I said is the truth. It is not an opinion.

 

[Anders123]

A lot of people here seem to be forgetting that many words can have multiple definitions. 'Acting' is one of them.

When people describe themselves as 'straight acting', they're not stating (or even implying) that they pretend to be somebody they're not. 'Acting' in this context is not describing a performance or a facade, but simply the manner in which they conduct themselves. Think of it more as a synonym for 'behaving'.

With that said, I don't champion the use of 'straight acting' as a descriptor. Setting aside the issue of which is seen to be more desirable, the phrase itself stems from (and perpetuates) the stereotype that straight men are traditionally masculine whereas gay men are traditionally feminine, and this is simply inaccurate. I'm not personally offended when I see another person using the term, but to me it's a strong indicator that this person either has poor critical thinking skills or is simply inarticulate, and I find both of those traits to be undesirable.

 

[Rolyo85]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

The term is offensive to gay people, that's a fact. Because those using it mean "masculine" and "butch", which implies that being gay or "gay acting" is somehow wimpier, more feminine and in general not "man enough" compared to being straight. There is NO way the term can be used without being offensive. And like someone said, you can just use "masculine". Not that it isn't dumb to be worried about bullshit like that, but at least if you are going to have panic-code for "I am afraid to be associated with the gay scene", don't denigrate the rest of us with it.

Plus, it's just ridiculously inaccurate. Straight men don't have a monopoly on masculinity and I know gay guys who are way more butch than any straight dude I've ever met.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

Anders got to it before me. (good post Anders)

If you are "acting like your average heterosexual man", then in some sort of fashion you have a problem or are ashamed of your sexuality. Or there would be no reason to "act" a certain way.

Don't like it or anyone who considers themselves it. Acting in any way, straight or gay seems pathetic. You're trying to fill a role and/or trying to fit in. It is for people who are afraid to be themselves.

This is where being bigoted just goes in another direction. Frequently even the assertion of "not bearing stereotypical behaviors" (there is not a good way to phrase it-- hence this thread existing) is immediately called some form of fakery, repression or whatever else.

People who do not like stereotyping should not adopt a position that anyone who would not be "thought of" as "gay" on a random meet and mentions this somehow in a discussion is actually a screaming queen suffering from self-imposed repression. Because those people are essentially saying "the stereotype is true, and you're just trying to hide your real, stereotype self."

It's not only untrue, it's equally offensive to reduce us all to one image as to treat someone as inferior for being a certain image.

I find guys acting straight to be as tedious as guys acting gay. Be your sexy weird self and drop the act.

To me, the expression smacks more of an insecurity issue than self loathing. But if OKcupid is a hookup site, isn't it used to describe what you prefer, like top or bottom. Do you really care if they are a closet case as long as they make you hard and you get to cum?

Like I mentioned at the top, Anders got to it first. People are getting overly caught on the term "acting." I don't think most people who use the term straight-acting are actually super effeminate and taking enormous pains to fake their way around it. I think they're just using a very clumsy term. In the term of these contexts it has the same meaning as "seem."

By the way I have been told many times by straight friends "you don't ACT like a gay guy..", and I never understood that to mean that they thought any of you guys are actually just "ACTING" gay in a dishonest way. I presume you're just being yourselves. Though that never seems to work both ways.

What term would you all prefer?

Let's start promoting that instead of whining.

That's what I think too, along with what Sixthson said. People reading massive offense into the term doesn't get us anywhere. What term should be used? I don't know of one. Straight seeming sounds like some kind of dry cleaning or sewing to me. Very un-fab. Any other ideas?

Or does any form of self-description that removes one from the stereotype inherently offend people as offensive, even if it's true?

 

[journo25]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

The term is offensive to gay people, that's a fact. Because those using it mean "masculine" and "butch", which implies that being gay or "gay acting" is somehow wimpier, more feminine and in general not "man enough" compared to being straight. There is NO way the term can be used without being offensive. And like someone said, you can just use "masculine". Not that it isn't dumb to be worried about bullshit like that, but at least if you are going to have panic-code for "I am afraid to be associated with the gay scene", don't denigrate the rest of us with it.

Plus, it's just ridiculously inaccurate. Straight men don't have a monopoly on masculinity and I know gay guys who are way more butch than any straight dude I've ever met.

Precisely! The term is offensive because it suggests deception, keeping up appearances. I am masculine but I have my feminine moments and a campy side. Someone who goes to such pains to pass himself off and seeks someone similar is dragging around way too much baggage to interest me. Deal with your unfinished business first.

 

[aaggii]

If you are "acting like your average heterosexual man", then in some sort of fashion you have a problem or are ashamed of your sexuality. Or there would be no reason to "act" a certain way.

Maybe because that´s just the way someone behaves (act=behavior, people already said it here before me)? Regardless if it´s like a heterosexual or a homosexual male, of course.

 

[journo25]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

By the way I have been told many times by straight friends "you don't ACT like a gay guy..", and I never understood that to mean that they thought any of you guys are actually just "ACTING" gay in a dishonest way. I presume you're just being yourselves. Though that never seems to work both ways.

I get this, too. How so? Does much of the straight world really think we can't have a conversation without grabbing someone's crotch or feeling up their ass?

 

[journo25]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

^ ^ First paragraph is extracted from Buzz's post. Sorry, I deleted too much.

 

[aaggii]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

The term is offensive to gay people, that's a fact.

Offensive to those who get offended 20 times in a minute while reading something on the internet. Like some tumblr users.

The idea of straight-acting doesn´t put down someone who isn´t straight acting, I have no idea why someone description makes people feel insecure if they don´t actually find themselves in that description. ¨Oh, he is different than me, how could he say that, what, it means he´s better?¨ - this is just stupid. Words change definitions in time, you know, like, I don´t know, gay. Did you know it meant happy? WOW.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

This is where being bigoted just goes in another direction. Frequently even the assertion of "not bearing stereotypical behaviors" (there is not a good way to phrase it-- hence this thread existing) is immediately called some form of fakery, repression or whatever else.

Hardly a bigot.

People who do not like stereotyping should not adopt a position that anyone who would not be "thought of" as "gay" on a random meet and mentions this somehow in a discussion is actually a screaming queen suffering from self-imposed repression. Because those people are essentially saying "the stereotype is true, and you're just trying to hide your real, stereotype self."

Not at all.

It's not only untrue, it's equally offensive to reduce us all to one image as to treat someone as inferior for being a certain image.

Never did that.

Maybe because that´s just the way someone acts (act not as in movie-acting, but just the way he is)? Regardless if it´s like a heterosexual or a homosexual male, of course.

Well my belief is that someone who puts on a "straight" persona, whether you want to call it acting, behavior, image, they have a problem with their sexuality. I am not speaking of someone who just appears to be "straight" by general societal standards, I am talking about men who put out their masculinity because they think it makes them more "straight" and/or manly to other people, people trying not to appear "gay."

 

[xbuzzerx]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

Well my belief is that someone who puts on a "straight" persona, whether you want to call it acting, behavior, image, they have a problem with their sexuality.

The problem is that both of your posts before this one implied that anyone who would ever self-describe themselves out of the category of stereotypically gay falls into this category.

If it is wrong to castigate gay men with effeminate qualities it must then be as wrong (even if not as frowned upon by mainstream) to castigate them for not having effeminate qualities-- or for saying they must be suffering from a psychological dysfunction if they do not omit this in a self-description.

 

[aaggii]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

Well my belief is that someone who puts on a "straight" persona, whether you want to call it acting, behavior, image, they have a problem with their sexuality. I am not speaking of someone who just appears to be "straight" by general societal standards, I am talking about men who put out their masculinity because they think it makes them more "straight" and/or manly to other people, people trying not to appear "gay."

Of course, but I don´t talk about that. Take a look at the bear/muscle scene, in one look you´ll see plenty of ¨look how macho I am¨ type of guys. I talk about people who don´t fit the gay stereotype. People who always get ¨I didnt think you were gay¨¨wow, i had no clue¨ ¨are you kidding me, the thought never crossed my mind¨. The expression uses the word straight, so what? Again, it doesn´t put down people who are not straight-acting.

 

[Ryuukie]

I completely agree with the OP and all who find that phrase insulting.

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Re: If you ever say you are "straight acting" that is a copout

The problem is that both of your posts before this one implied that anyone who would ever self-describe themselves out of the category of stereotypically gay falls into this category.

I definitely didn't.

If it is wrong to castigate gay men with effeminate qualities it must then be as wrong (even if not as frowned upon by mainstream) to castigate them for not having effeminate qualities-- or for saying they must be suffering from a psychological dysfunction if they do not omit this in a self-description.

I don't see where I did that. I thought it was clear that I was speaking of gay men who are literally acting straight to not appear as gay.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

no idea any land planet straight anythang is fa eons
but few anythang close ta human wot left on planet

ha

internet 2 squrim it all time ans media company polis Uni etc so on play up da shit ans mak mor shit ans public recycle

thankyou fa no a readt his post

ha