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If Your Bf Hit You.....

80KGold said:
I think you're assuming that the person who was hit first would try to fight mano-a-mano. During my life, I've fought people who were obviously bigger than me. And at those encounters, realizing that I was overmatched, I've picked up a chair, a clothing iron, and even a cast iron skillet, once, to even out the situation. This happened instinctively; I didn't even think.

Once, when I was in 5th grade, this huge boy had me in a choke-hold. I wasn't able to wiggle loose, but I bit the shit out of his arm. He let go and said that I wasn't "fighting fair." Bullshit! It wasn't my fault that I was short and about 70 pounds, while he weighed about 3 times me and was at least a foot taller. And it also wasn't my fault that he had his arm near my mouth.

If a dude--especially one whom I thought I loved and who I thought loved me--hit me (first) because he was angry, and if he were bigger and stronger, I suspect that I'd pick up the nearest object and swat the hell out of him. Maybe some of the other people who've posted messages in this thread would do the same.
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I agree. People will do what they have to do especially if it's a potentially dangerous situation.
 
bi-4u2 said:
Break up with him. i dont think i could do much damage wile fighting fair

if he BEGGED for forgiveness i would take him back under the condition that i get to hit him back. THEN I WOULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM... then if he still wants me back

I can fight. but im like a wild animal when i do. i dont pull anything back, and i wont hesitate for low blows
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As it should be. Once someone hits you first, honestly all bets are off. If you are inclined to defend yourself, you do so by whatever means necessary. All's fair in love and war and in this case, love just became war...which is 10x worse than either alone.
 
BlackAdam13 said:
As it should be. Once someone hits you first, honestly all bets are off. If you are inclined to defend yourself, you do so by whatever means necessary. All's fair in love and war and in this case, love just became war...which is 10x worse than either alone.
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Very true.
 
The first time it happened I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do. I was stunned, because we were always so lovey and cudly and stuff, hadn't even had a real fight. The second time I laid him flat out on the floor, he hit me again, he went back to the floor across the room, as he started to get up I grabbed hit belt loops and his balls and threw him threw his brand new 65" TV.

After that I stayed with him, one of two things pretty much happened, I'd get pissed off and beat the shit out of him till he stopped trying to beat the shit out of me, or I'd just take a few hits and then take off. We broke up for a long time, recently we tried dating again after he got back from alcohol and anger management rehab. After being home less then 72 hours he relapsed, drinking 1/2 a bottle of Jack Daniels and decided to take a swing at me and damn near broke my nose. I grabbed a towel went outside locked myself in my car and called his mother who brought his father over to deal with him, and she took me to the ER.

The sad thing is to have the life I used to have with him, I would take those beatings again.
 
WaGWaG said:
RhyRhy--after all you've just said, it's too bad you're having such a hard time seeing the truth in the relationship. The man is no good for anybody in the place he's in. No person or relationship, no matter how good at a point in time is worth any level of abuse--be it physical, emotional or sexual. You may want to consider talking to someone about your feelings so you can move past the quoted feelings above and find someone who is worth the love you have to give.
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I guess it's because at one point we had a wonderful relationship that was everything I ever wanted. We were even out to his parents in a very rural area and they were so caring and supportive. I felt like I had a family again (My mom died in 05). His mom, dad, and little sister still keep in touch with me. I guess my first boyfriend being mentally and verbally abusive to me, and being molested multiple times as a kid didn't help things off to a good start.
 
I know a guy who was in a physically abusive relationship for many years. He was controlled and felt trapped, thank God he was able to get out of it. He still seems to gravitate towards guys that are bad news or unavailable to him. Maybe one day he will learn, as a friend all I can do is be there for him when he needs me.
 
Beachguyj said:
I know a guy who was in a physically abusive relationship for many years. He was controlled and felt trapped, thank God he was able to get out of it. He still seems to gravitate towards guys that are bad news or unavailable to him. Maybe one day he will learn, as a friend all I can do is be there for him when he needs me.
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Oh and I didn't know him back then, he lives in another area. I would have tried to help him, if I knew him at the time, but like all abusers he didn't let him have friends or talk on the phone or use the computer unattended.
 
I would call the cops,have him arrested, pack up all his stuff and made sure he knew to get the hell out of our house.
 
dang, i would do what Madea does! i would cook him a hot grits, when he come sit down, i will pour it all over him then kick his ass to the curb.....
 
I'll more than likely will never be in this situation. However, unless the person tries to continue attacking me thus forcing me to defend myself, I would just walk away.
 
BF hitting me + my temper + 16 years of gymnastics + 10 years of learning various martial arts = 1 dead piece of shit. But he would NEVER hit me. He's the one who calms me down/holds me back when I go off. That, and nothing in this world would make him happier than me letting him "take care of me." -.-

...not in the assassination way...
 
Glad I found this post.

Through this, I hope to get some feelings off my chest... and hope I can finally put it all behind me.

With my first partner, there was no violence at all... not even any cross words between us. But I lost him after a rail accident.

My 2nd was a little mouthy at times, and did hit me once. Dazed, I asked him politely to leave... which he did after a string of expletives.

3rd partner was a total tyrant. Watching a film together one afternoon (he had been in a bad mood all day) he suddenly, and without warning, launched a vicious attack on me. I was beaten and left to die. The only thing I remember was my Mom coming home, screaming and getting on the phone for an ambulance.

after nearly 6 months, I came round in hospital... and just screamed. So much of my life wasted. The case went to court, and I remember quite clearly now that he looked at me as he was sentenced to inprisonment. He looked so angry at me... I thought he was going to break away from the guard and get me.

He even had the cheek to send a visiting order to me. That was burnt in a bonfire along with other memories. I needed a complete new life.

4th partner... (current.. now ex)
Started off alright... and after our first year together, he tried to hit me. I panicked, started to pack, but he talked me out of it (he sobbed his eyes out).

He dissapears from home (he owns the house) regularly... once, he left me for 8 weeks! Left for dead again. I reported him as a missing person to the Police and they found him a coupla days later... alive and well. He was sleeping in his car in a carpark. In BRIGHTON!!! (I was also told he had another man with him, and they were clearly upto something... I just put it down to the Police being too suspicious at the time).

Now I have found out my partner had cheated on me yesterday.


Forgive the long post.. but had to write this. My advice to others living in a violent relationship? Get the heck outta there (if you dont own the place) or if you do own the place.. kick him out. If you cant do it alone... get help before it's too late.
 
I can't even tell you the words that would come out of my mouth.... But after all that fun stuff, I would tell him to leave(with choice words) and if he tried to hit me again, I would defend myself.

My dad hit my mom multiple times and its not something I would ever tolerate.
 
RhyRhy said:
The first time it happened I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do. I was stunned, because we were always so lovey and cudly and stuff, hadn't even had a real fight. The second time I laid him flat out on the floor, he hit me again, he went back to the floor across the room, as he started to get up I grabbed hit belt loops and his balls and threw him threw his brand new 65" TV.

After that I stayed with him, one of two things pretty much happened, I'd get pissed off and beat the shit out of him till he stopped trying to beat the shit out of me, or I'd just take a few hits and then take off. We broke up for a long time, recently we tried dating again after he got back from alcohol and anger management rehab. After being home less then 72 hours he relapsed, drinking 1/2 a bottle of Jack Daniels and decided to take a swing at me and damn near broke my nose. I grabbed a towel went outside locked myself in my car and called his mother who brought his father over to deal with him, and she took me to the ER.

The sad thing is to have the life I used to have with him, I would take those beatings again.
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This is a problem.
 
Depends on the hit. As it is we both smack/trip/slap/throw things at each other a lot... but we enjoy the roughhousing, and as soon as someone gets hurt we stop (mind you since he's bigger its usually me that gets knocked into a wall, or trips over the coffee table, or falls off the end of the couch lol)

But if he actually hit me for real? I'd hit him back. hard. And multiple times. Then I'd walk out the door.
 
First off, I wouldn't be stupid enough to date someone that would be quick to anger. My friends call me "the protector" because I can sniff out a bad person easily. If I don't like their partner, I let them know delicately and usually in a few months, I will hear a "I told you so" and there will be a tiny smile in my heart because they came round. Of course the serial offenders I will push to the sides because a person who continually dates people bad for them, are insane.

Secondly, If a guy did attempt to strike me, I'd stop him. I've learned to defend myself from an attacker. I would never hit a guy either (I am a gentle giant). I'm never quick to anger so a person will see a hundred miles away that I am bottling it up. Usually releasing that anger involves me getting drunk.
 
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