If your partner has been cheating on you do you leave or do you stay?

[Telstra]

You can't control the other guy's actions.
Therefore just be friends with him and move on ok.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

If it was just once some drunken night ... MAYBE I'd hear him out. 6 months!?!?! You did the right thing. Considering they're still together 3 years later it sounds inevitable they'd end up together anyway. He's probably cheating on him, too.

 

[Telstra]

I do understand.
You should let him pack his own bag instead of you doing it.

 

[eastofeden]

I probably would have heard him out. I don't equate having sex with someone else as not loving me or having anything to do with me. It would depend on so many other variables how I would respond.

Were you too harsh? I don't know...I wasn't walking in your shoes.

 

[ibill1]

Thats is tough. Every relationship is different. I would have at least heard him out but as previously stated, 6 mos. is a long time to be sleeping around with the same guy. I don't believe you were too harsh and the way it ended up it looks like you just sped up the inevitable outcome. Like pointed out I don't think having sex has anything to do about them loving you but 6 mos. doesn't sound like it was just sex but you never know.

 

[USEDCAR]

You did the right thing i would of kicked him out also, if there was an issue with the relationship he should of said something upfront rather then cheating. If you gave him a chance you be too busy worrying if hes cheating again

 

[ronboy]

I was in a 10 year relationship with the man i thought was the love of my life. We ended correction i ended the relationship with him when i found out he had been cheating for 6 months with a younger guy. I found out, i packed his bags and sent him on his way and never looked back. Yes, it hurt like hell but i have always loved myself enough not to let anyone use me as a doormat. Friends of mine think i was too harsh, that i should have let him explain himself to me and to this day i believe there is no explanation in fact he left and within 2 months he was having a relationship with the person he cheated on me with. Is been 3 years since we broke up and he is still with his boyfriend and i still believe i made the right decision, I remember the good times and sometimes i miss what we had but that is about it.

What do some of you think, was i too harsh? would some of you have given him the chance to explain? i am just curious...

You did what I did in 2007.Only my boyfriend left me for a twink, and it didn't last for him. Me? I'm still single, and I am stronger emotionally more than ever!

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

A one night stand is something I would hear my boyfriend out on. Things longer than that tend to mean there is more going on than just the physical aspect and that is what would really bother me.

 

[sixthson]

What possible explanation could he have given for such a lengthy infidelity?

 

[Daximus]

To the curb slutbag!!

 

[bankside]

I would want to know how that was supposed to turn me on, or make me feel cared for, or how it was supposed to prove my trust is justified. I can't imagine an answer to any of those questions in the real world, but I would expect to hear a good one or I would never see him again.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I hope this brings you some closure and you can live and learn, and move on. You did the right thing. HE did not... no matter what excuses he may have tried to pass off to cover his ass.

 

[dpnice]

I think this is always a difficult decision to make as separating involves loosing most of what you have valued in your life together. Sometimes it is a question of what sacrifices you are willing to make in order to keep those things that you value; companionship, a shared home and bed, financial benefits, your social life, etc.

Did you make the right decision? According to your comments it would seem that you did and are satisfied with breaking up, seeing it as the one and only solution. But then what about after the separation?

I split up from my lover, not through my choice, when I was in my mid-thirties and have never found another partner meaning I have spent many, many years alone. I personally would have "shared" his body and perhaps his emotions with another as what we had built together was too precious to me to discard.

My biggest regret was that he cut me off from his life completely.

Though since my 60th birthday we are beginning to have the occasional restaurant meal with other friends when I am over in England.

I wish you the best in your new life and most importantly don't regret your decision. It is made and there is no going back; you can still look back on your relationship with fond memories but don't let any supposed blame tarnish your future. Also don't allow the fact that once cheated on affect your approach to new partners as I did. I think I more or less decided that I wasn't go to live through that pain again and therefore never took the risk of committing to someone again.

Take care!

 

[cgymike]

I stay just long enough to rip off the guy who cheated. I don't advocate violence but go after his bank account.

 

[blackbeltninja]

6 months - not a chance I'd even entertain hearing the explanation (assuming there is one, let alone a good one).

I'd hear him out if it was once, but there is every a very probability I'd boot him out anyway afterwards. Fidelity is not negotiable in my books, I'm afraid.

-d-

 

[LeicsDom]

I was in a 10 year relationship with the man i thought was the love of my life. We ended correction i ended the relationship with him when i found out he had been cheating for 6 months with a younger guy. I found out, i packed his bags and sent him on his way and never looked back. Yes, it hurt like hell but i have always loved myself enough not to let anyone use me as a doormat. Friends of mine think i was too harsh, that i should have let him explain himself to me and to this day i believe there is no explanation in fact he left and within 2 months he was having a relationship with the person he cheated on me with. Is been 3 years since we broke up and he is still with his boyfriend and i still believe i made the right decision, I remember the good times and sometimes i miss what we had but that is about it.

What do some of you think, was i too harsh? would some of you have given him the chance to explain? i am just curious...

Exactly the right thing to do. Once a cheat always a cheat. You watch, he will do the dirty on the current boyf eventually

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I think this is always a difficult decision to make as separating involves loosing most of what you have valued in your life together. Sometimes it is a question of what sacrifices you are willing to make in order to keep those things that you value; companionship, a shared home and bed, financial benefits, your social life, etc.

Did you make the right decision? According to your comments it would seem that you did and are satisfied with breaking up, seeing it as the one and only solution. But then what about after the separation?

I split up from my lover, not through my choice, when I was in my mid-thirties and have never found another partner meaning I have spent many, many years alone. I personally would have "shared" his body and perhaps his emotions with another as what we had built together was too precious to me to discard.

My biggest regret was that he cut me off from his life completely.

Though since my 60th birthday we are beginning to have the occasional restaurant meal with other friends when I am over in England.

I wish you the best in your new life and most importantly don't regret your decision. It is made and there is no going back; you can still look back on your relationship with fond memories but don't let any supposed blame tarnish your future. Also don't allow the fact that once cheated on affect your approach to new partners as I did. I think I more or less decided that I wasn't go to live through that pain again and therefore never took the risk of committing to someone again.

Take care!

This mentality makes me sad. Isn't your dignity and self-worth worth more than that? You deserve better.

 

[sixthson]

This mentality makes me sad. Isn't your dignity and self-worth worth more than that? You deserve better.

This is how I see it, too.

In every relationship, romantic or otherwise, sacrifices are made. But the sacrifices are generally about putting someone ahead of yourself in a non-selfish way. It's not about sharing the partner sexually with another person or somehow "settling" in order to save the relationship. The relationship is doomed at that point anyway, even after the sacrifice.

 

[ibill1]

Thank you so much for you comments. To this day i don't regret my decision is taken me 3 years of solitude to learn to value myself, my self worth and to know that if someone wants to be with me he needs to respect me and i wont accept anything less. I have enjoyed my solitude immensely, dated, having fun in fact now i have been dating this gentleman 2 years older than me i am 42 for the past month and we are enjoying our company and just taking it slow. We are starting to have honest conversations about what we expect from relationships. He seems real and i like him.


THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR COMMENTS...

I am happy you found someone. I am presently going through the same solitude you describe except for occasional hook ups with FB that have no emotional attachment whatsoever. After 34 yrs. with my husband, I have been stuck in this perpetual realm of never finding anyone I could possibly love as much as him and who would love me as much in return as he did. It was a surprise that I enjoy this solitude as much as I have since I haven't been single since I was 17. I'm trying to accept the fact that I can find a different kind of love that is satisfying, but so far, to no avail. At my age, I am comfortable with that. Good luck to you and your new guy.

 

[palbert]

I would have done the same thing.

Question: why is this an issue 3 years down the road?