I'm gay but I want to spend the rest of my life with a woman.

[Jack1337]

I’m not trying to deny my bisexuality but I don’t like it and emotionally I want nothing more but to be with a woman, too bad my body seems to have other ideas.
I’m 27 and am only attracted to mature men, men in their late 30’s that’s 38 and 39, men in their 40’s and 50’s are a huge turn on for me more so than women ever are. That’s not saying I’m not attracted to women but it comes and goes as it pleases and when I am my arousal isn’t nearly as strong as that initiated by a mature man.
So, I’m not attracted to young men or guys my age in the least, they’re a huge turn off in fact.
Same goes for younger guys than me, I have no interest in them, again huge turn off, just mature men.

I have no desire to be in a relationship with a man, there is nothing I want more than a loving relationship with a woman but because of my situation I’ve never had sex with a woman or a guy(and i dont plan on having sex with a man if i stay alive). All I want from life is to have a loving girl in my life no man could ever compensate for a beautiful woman for me, I can not relate to men on the same level emotionally as I can with women.

I’ve been in love before but I never got into an actual relationship because I knew I wouldn’t be able to satisfy the girl, my attraction to women comes and goes as it pleases.
Sometimes I may have a woman on my mind all day, even get aroused by her but when the time comes to masturbate I can’t do it and I end up doing it to a guy just to release the tension and move on with my life.
Sometimes it works and I’m the happiest guy ever.

I haven’t been able to kick into “straight mode” as I call it for weeks now and I’m seriously thinking of killing myself somewhere down the line, I don’t need a life if I can’t share it with a woman, a girlfriend or eventually a wife. I don’t need money or education I just need a woman in my life.

I want to know if I can even have sex with a woman? I don’t care if I don’t enjoy it as much, sex means very little to me, as long as she is happy I’ll be twice as happy.
I just want to be able to satisfy a woman and live my life with one.

I do not think being gay is wrong or immoral, it’s just that it’s not the life I want.
It’s not society or religion or anything lame like that, it’s my heart, it’s been in love with nothing but women before but since my uugh penis has other ideas about what’s attractive and what isn’t I haven’t had the courage to start a relationship with a woman even when I could.

EDIT: I'll post about my porn preferences here, maybe that will give you some insight on my situation.

I don't like gay porn, I've tried it and it makes me feel sick every time, so getting an erection from that is out of the question, however I love seeing images of just mature hot men what's up with that I don't know.

I don't like straight porn much either unless it's softcore and I can see the full bodies of both the man and the woman, but since finding porn with a hot mature guy and a hot woman in her 30's and up is difficult or next to impossible I don't find straight porn arousing either.

Images of women alone however do it for me, when I'm in not in full on gay mode.

It's as if my body shifts between gay and bi mode or whatever, but it's been a while since I've gone "straight/bi" and I'm kind of panicking it's never taken this long for me be in gay mode before.
I did get aroused by some pics of a woman the other day but that soon faded away for some reason.

 

[Echoes]

I’m not trying to deny my bisexuality but I don’t like it and emotionally I want nothing more but to be with a woman, too bad my body seems to have other ideas.

Incorrect, that's exactly what you're trying to do.

I haven’t been able to kick into “straight mode” as I call it for weeks now and I’m seriously thinking of killing myself somewhere down the line, I don’t need a life if I can’t share it with a woman, a girlfriend or eventually a wife. I don’t need money or education I just need a woman in my life.

Don't kill yourself, that's selfish, arrogant and makes you a wimp. You can't "kick into the straight mode" because you're not straight, learn to live with that, embrace who you are and love yourself for that.

I want to know if I can even have sex with a woman? I don’t care if I don’t enjoy it as much, sex means very little to me, as long as she is happy I’ll be twice as happy.
I just want to be able to satisfy a woman and live my life with one.

Of course you can have sex with a woman, as long as your dick is being touched don't worry about erection. You can keep lying to both yourself and the woman you supposedly love.

I'm sorry to say this mate but you don't even sound bi, you are clearly gay with accepting issues, you should work on them and pull yourself together. I hope you can realize this on time and enjoy your life the way it is.

 

[hylas]

youre basically asking us how to get rid of the gay, arent you? well, it cant be done.

dont take this the wrong way, but you are very much in denial. youre not bisexual. youre gay gay gay gay gay. i dont usually try to tell other people what they are or arent, but in this case, its just so obvious, both your sexual orientation and your denial of it.

yes, you have all these ideas about what you think you want and yada yada yada. im sure it all seems very complex and confusing from where youre standing. but believe me, seen from a distance, its crystal clear: youre gay.

start accepting yourself for what you are (GAY!) or you will lead an unhappy life, and possibly leave a trail of unhappy women, and in the worst case make some very fucked up children. dont go down that path. stop wasting your time and face what im pretty sure you already now, deep down inside: youre GAY!

btw, being gay is pretty swell. myself, im having the time of my life.

welcome to jub! dont kill yourself! good luck!

 

[Jack1337]

I clearly said in the topic title I was gay.
But if I'm so gay how do you explain the fact that I genuinely get aroused by women, that without me doing anything I get sexual thoughts involving women and that for I've had phases where I literally crave women?

You say I haven't accepted my homosexuality, but I believe I have, I'm 27 I've known myself for a long time now and I know I've accepted my sexuality long ago.
But just because I accept something doesn't mean I have to like it, there's nothing I hate more than gay people forcefully trying to convert people who don't like these things into supposedly accepting it.

Yes I got mad, I'm emtionally hypersensitive plus the fact that you're telling me the complete and utter opposite of what I know pisses me off.

Again, if I'm so gay why the heck do I get normal erotic thoughts and cravings for women? How do you explain that? Last time I checked fully gay men don't really care about women.

youre basically asking us how to get rid of the gay, arent you? well, it cant be done.

dont take this the wrong way, but you are very much in denial. youre not bisexual. youre gay gay gay gay gay. i dont usually try to tell other people what they are or arent, but in this case, its just so obvious, both your sexual orientation and your denial of it.

yes, you have all these ideas about what you think you want and yada yada yada. im sure it all seems very complex and confusing from where youre standing. but believe me, seen from a distance, its crystal clear: youre gay.

start accepting yourself for what you are (GAY!) or you will lead an unhappy life, and possibly leave a trail of unhappy women, and in the worst case make some very fucked up children. dont go down that path. stop wasting your time and everybody elses and face what im pretty sure you already now, deep down inside: youre GAY!

btw, being gay is pretty swell. myself, im having the time of my life.

welcome to jub! dont kill yourself! good luck!

Hows about you explain the wet dreams I've had involving women in the past? The actual cravings for women then?
It's easy for some kid with a dumb anime avatar to call me gay and repeat it over and over when he can't even begin to understand what I'm trying to say here.

Explain the sexual arousal I'm getting from women
Explain the days or weeks when I'm into women, again without me forcing that on myself and then call me fully gay.

As for killing myself? I won't do it now but if I'm forced to live in a world where gay people refuse to accept this is an illness or a disorder and where people force me to accept the gay lifestyle despite me clearly not wanting that then yes I'm eventually going out because thre's nothing for me to live for here.

 

[Jack1337]

It's downright offensive to me that you're telling me to ignore my sexual arousal from women, you're telling me to up and forget the times I've needed women/been aroused by them/dreamed about them whatever and accept th gay lifestyle, because, hey, it's cool and I'm gay.

So instead of me exploring and understanding why I get aroused by women and how to make it happen mroe often you're telling me to ignore that and focus on the gay? WHY?
Who the HELL are you to decide that for me.

Being gay and straight clearly isn't a choice, but I feel I'm in the postition where I can choose which lifestyle to have because I know I can get sexually attracted to women when my piss poor worthless penis decides its time.

 

[swerve]

I kind of feel sorry for the guy that you'll EVENTUALLY settle down with...

And I ESPECIALLY feel sorry for the women that you'll spend time with between now and then...

Get a GRIP on yourself YOUNG MAN -- keep you CHIN HIGH and be proud of who YOU ARE!!!

You may have trouble expressing yourself -- because your 2 posts make you look like a complete MESS!!!

YIGHTZ!!!

 

[Jack1337]

I kind of feel sorry for the guy that you'll EVENTUALLY settle down with...

And I ESPECIALLY feel sorry for the women that you'll spend time with between now and then...

Get a GRIP on yourself YOUNG MAN -- keep you CHIN HIGH and be proud of who YOU ARE!!!

You may have trouble expressing yourself -- because your 2 posts make you look like a complete MESS!!!

YIGHTZ!!!

You feel sorry for the woman I'll settle down with? Why?
Sex isn't that important to me, never was and never will be, if I can keep her happy being with her would be more than enough for me not to mention I'd enjoy the sex too, women turn me on and when they do it's good problem is it doesn't always happen.

You're all telling me to ignore this and just start being full on gay, why?

And what is this about being proud of this? What's there to be proud about? Only morons take pride in skin color, sexual orientation or gender, only complete and utter idiots associate things like that with pride.

 

[hylas]

how do i explain the fact that youve "had phases where I literally crave women"? well, youre changing your story, now that youre feeling defensive. initially, you wrote: "I’m (...) only attracted to mature men, men (...) are a huge turn on for me more so than women ever are." if fleeting arousal by women is all you feel, even when youre trying so hard to be into women, it makes me think that youre most probably not bisexual.

anyway, maybe im being too blunt or something, but im not trying to get into a squabble with you, honest.

but i cant help but think youre being touchy because i hit a nerve there. i know im not telling you what you want to hear, but that doesnt make it less true. but maybe my tone wasnt the right one, so im gonna let this be for now. just dont disregard what im saying just because its not what you want to hear, kay? peace!

 

[hackingnomberr]

Have sex with a woman and/or a mature gay man, then come back and tell us where you're at.

 

[Jack1337]

how do i explain the fact that youve "had phases where I literally crave women"? well, youre changing your story, now that youre feeling defensive. initially, you wrote: "I’m (...) only attracted to mature men, men (...) are a huge turn on for me more so than women ever are." if fleeting arousal by women is all you feel, even when youre trying so hard to be into women, it makes me think that youre most probably not bisexual.

anyway, maybe im being too blunt or something, but im not trying to get into a squabble with you, honest.

but i cant help but think youre being touchy because i hit a nerve there. i know im not telling you what you want to hear, but that doesnt make it less true. but maybe my tone wasnt the right one, so im gonna let this be for now. just dont disregard what im saying just because its not what you want to hear, kay? peace!

look dude, I'm not changing my story.
I said I'm only attracted to older men as in only to more mature men as opposed to younger men or men my age. I guess I didn't quite word my first post properly.

Now my sexual arousal to women happens and it happens all on its own, if it didn't I wouldn't be making this topic but it's been like this ever since I can remember.

However the feeling I'm getting when aroused by men and women is different, they're both good but they're different.

I'm not saying I'm not gay but again, if I'm full on gay I'll accept that but every time I've tried to accept it for good eventually I'd end up with a woman on my mind, I'd end up jacking it to a good looking woman and enjoying it.

So what am I supposed to think when this stuff happens to me.

I'm gay more often
but when I'm into women I'm into women and there's no mistaking that feeling, I'm a 27 year old man I know sexual arousal when I feel one.

edit: and the reason I blew up was because I finally decided to post on a forum like this and I got nothing but negative responses and people forcing me to go for the gay lifestyle.
Why would I choose gay when the sexual attraction to women is also there? Why not work on improving that?

 

[swerve]

I'm sorry Jack...

My post was kind of negative...

And its because I don't have the answer -- I've never heard of NOR known anyone like you that flips back and forth so much...

Doesn't mean that its not real -- just confuses me...

Maybe I shouldn't have even posted in your thread...

HOPEFULLY someone here will actually UNDERSTAND your predicament -- and can help you out...

 

[sixthson]

I always knew my dick could function with a girl, but I could never give her what she really wanted/needed: my heart.
If I couldn't love her with my whole heart, holding back nothing, then I couldn't really love her.

Oftentimes here at JUB we hear guys say that they don't want a relationship with another guy, they just want his sex. These are the guys who have their own unresolved issues. Being gay is about love, not just sex, imho.

Instead of killing yourself, get out there and form some non-sexual relationships with both males and females and see how life develops.

 

[Jack1337]

That's my biggest problem
if I wasn't flipping back and forth like this I would've been fine

at one point in life I decided, hey I'm gay and that's all there is to it, I really do love mature men and I've accepted that, why not they're damn hot and I like them not my fault.

So just when I fully accept that a woman takes over my mind and there I go being all confused again.

I didn't want to post this because it's somewhat embarrassing, but I even have fetishes when it comes to women, I like pregnant women, I also like more mature women in their 40's for example, I find women in white socks arousing.

Show me a pregnant woman to my liking and I pop a boner, if that's not confusing I don't know what is.

Also I hate vagina but I also hate a penis, gentialia don't turn me on in either gender.
Why? I don't know, wish I did but I don't.
They're only arousing to me sometimes.

I've thought that maybe I'm denying my homosexuality too, but could denying your homosexuality lead to actual sexual arousal to a woman? I somehow doubt that.

And before anyone gets this wrong, I can get turned on by non pregnant women too of course, it's just a thing I have.

 

[sixthson]

You feel sorry for the woman I'll settle down with? Why?
Sex isn't that important to me, never was and never will be, if I can keep her happy being with her would be more than enough for me not to mention I'd enjoy the sex too, women turn me on and when they do it's good problem is it doesn't always happen.

If you can find a woman who feels the same as you, then go for it, but be sure to be forthright with her from the start. Tell her you are gay and sex is not that important and that you want to spend your life with a woman and not a man. Stranger things have happened, I guess.

 

[Jack1337]

I always knew my dick could function with a girl, but I could never give her what she really wanted/needed: my heart.
If I couldn't love her with my whole heart, holding back nothing, then I couldn't really love her.

Oftentimes here at JUB we hear guys say that they don't want a relationship with another guy, they just want his sex. These are the guys who have their own unresolved issues. Being gay is about love, not just sex, imho.

Instead of killing yourself, get out there and form some non-sexual relationships with both males and females and see how life develops.

I've been in love with a girl before, she was gorgeous and I let her go because I knew I couldn't be in a relationship with her and give her the sexual satisfaction she is going to need, or at least I thought I couldn't.

We were very close friends and she liked me, but I couldn't take it further I loved her too much to hurt her down the line so I let her go and got out of her life completely.
I've had maybe one sexual fantasy about her, but I was in love with her beauty, her body, eyes, legs(I have a thing for legs in women...men too i guess but it's sexier in women) I just couldn't get hard around her and stuff(we never did anything) and from what other guys have been saying I think you're supposed to get erections around women oyu like.

edit: I've also had dreams about having sex with women I never relaly thought as attractive.
I remember back in high school I never liked the way this one girl looked yet one night I had hot sex with her in my dreams, go figure.

Never once have I had a dream about having sex with a guy my age, but I've had dreams about older men or older couples.

Though sexual dreams are rare for me, I may have one once or twice a year and that's it, not even wet dreams just normal ones.

 

[virgoboy]

You must be crazy to want old men. They are bald, flabby and hairy. Just a turn off. Young guys are like flower in full bloom, just beautiful

 

[Jack1337]

Another thing, probably the most confusing thing of all, sorry I post so much guys really, but I need to talk about this.

Well the most confusing thing of all is.

I'm into women all day, I get erections because I can't get them hot blondes and their hot boobs and legs out of my mind no matter what, I go look for pics of hot women online get even more aroused by them.

Then I decide to jack off to them and bam it goes away, why? Like not my erection but nothing happens.

This doesn't always happen, mind you, I often jack off normally to women and it's very satisfying but when I shift to gay mode right there and then I can only finish off with a guy, not that one is on my mind but my penis just stops, refuses to go further like it gets bocked by something.

 

[sixthson]

I've been in love with a girl before, she was gorgeous and I let her go because I knew I couldn't be in a relationship with her and give her the sexual satisfaction she is going to need, or at least I thought I couldn't.

We were very close friends and she liked me, but I couldn't take it further I loved her too much to hurt her down the line so I let her go and got out of her life completely.
I've had maybe one sexual fantasy about her, but I was in love with her beauty, her body, eyes, legs(I have a thing for legs in women...men too i guess but it's sexier in women) I just couldn't get hard around her and stuff(we never did anything) and from what other guys have been saying I think you're supposed to get erections around women oyu like.

edit: I've also had dreams about having sex with women I never relaly thought as attractive.
I remember back in high school I never liked the way this one girl looked yet one night I had hot sex with her in my dreams, go figure.

Never once have I had a dream about having sex with a guy my age, but I've had dreams about older men or older couples.

Though sexual dreams are rare for me, I may have one once or twice a year and that's it, not even wet dreams just normal ones.

I think you want black and white answers for some very complex questions about sexuality. The biggest question is why are you afraid to love a man? Why do you insist upon making yourself miserable trying to love a woman when you know you can't give her what she wants and needs?

 

[Jack1337]

You must be crazy to want old men. They are bald, flabby and hairy. Just a turn off. Young guys are like flower in full bloom, just beautiful

not old men
men 38-60 or so
meaning men in their 40's and 50's.

And yes I like them hairy, preferably with a mustache or some form of facial hair.
I don't like blad men but I like blading men.

I also like fat men just not overly fat one.

Sorry it's the way I am

I WAS GOING TO POST PICS OF THE TYPE OF MEN AND WOMEN I LIKE BUT THIS FORUM WONT LET ME SO YEAH

 

[Jack1337]

I think you want black and white answers for some very complex questions about sexuality. The biggest question is why are you afraid to love a man? Why do you insist upon making yourself miserable trying to love a woman when you know you can't give her what she wants and needs?

Why do you want me to chose a man over a woman when I have been in love with a woman before, when I find them arousing when I can and I honestly feel no emtional attachment, at least not in the same way to men as I do to women?

I'd be more miserable with a man than with a woman.
I know myself well enough to know I'd be absolutely thrilled if I was in a realtionship with a girl and if I oculd make her happy.

Why do you say I won't be able to give her what she wants, are you sure I can't give her what she wants? Are you some kind of an expert on this and know for a fact that I won't be able to give a woman what she wants?