I'm gay but I want to spend the rest of my life with a woman.

[Jack1337]

So take the sex out of it. Until you do something it's all in your head. Jack1337, should see how a relationship with a man and a woman would be and go from there.



You missed the point of Lube's story. Lube was and is primarily gay and not bi. He's more attracted to men than women. If you wanted to hear someone's story about making women happy, it might make more sense to go to the Straight & Bi Men forum.

he may call himself gay but to have sex with a woman and even make two kids he had to have some attraction towards women.
How do you manage to have sex with a woman if you aren't bi in the first place?

The way I see it is, he is bi but chose to go with the homosexual side of him because that's what he sexually and mentally prefers and he was too afraid to admit that to himself before.

I never had a period where I doubted my homosexual desires or tried to rationalize them, my problem is that mentally, emotionally I really really love women and even sexually when I'm in the mood for them.

I think I'm much more similar to Lube than it seems, it's just that I'm well aware of my true sexuality at 27 where as he was lying to himself and didn't want to be called gay or bi or whatever.
Me? I just want a woman so bad emotionally that I figured I'd ask gay guys or bi guys who lean more towards the gay side sxually on how to do all this with a woman.

 

[altlover85]

he may call himself gay but to have sex with a woman and even make two kids he had to have some attraction towards women.
How do you manage to have sex with a woman if you aren't bi in the first place?

The way I see it is, he is bi but chose to go with the homosexual side of him because that's what he sexually and mentally prefers and he was too afraid to admit that to himself before.

I never had a period where I doubted my homosexual desires or tried to rationalize them, my problem is that mentally, emotionally I really really love women and even sexually when I'm in the mood for them.

I think I'm much more similar to Lube than it seems, it's just that I'm well aware of my true sexuality at 27 where as he was lying to himself and didn't want to be called gay or bi or whatever.
Me? I just want a woman so bad emotionally that I figured I'd ask gay guys or bi guys who lean more towards the gay side sxually on how to do all this with a woman.

You haven't had sex or a relationship yet. If you are on the fence like you say you are, you really don't know what you like and don't like.

 

[Jack1337]

You haven't had sex or a relationship yet. If you are on the fence like you say you are, you really don't know what you like and don't like.

Even if I end up liking men more physically, and I probably will dunno
I won't let that stop me from marrying a woman assuming I can maintain a healthy sexual relationship with her.

Trust me when I'm telling you this, she will be THE most loved and satisfied woman ever
I'll find a way to make her happy because honestly, me not having sex with guys won't put me in a bad mood but me settling for a guy because of my sexuality will make me suicidal.

I'm a very mature guy even if I don't seem like it and I know myself better than you think.

 

[Echoes]

he may call himself gay but to have sex with a woman and even make two kids he had to have some attraction towards women.
How do you manage to have sex with a woman if you aren't bi in the first place

You see, you keep missing the points people make. First of all, nobody here hit you with their rage, you've only gotten supportive replies, you should at least appreciate that.
Concerning Lube, he is gay and always has been, he was in denial and he said it himself. As for having sex with women I told you you can do that in my first reply here, it seems like you missed it too like many other points people have made. Nonetheless I'll say it again so it is even clearer: You can have sex with women, you can have erections and keep a more or less healthy sexual life with them even if you are gay, you'll wonder how's that possible? well, we are human beings mate, we are in part animals and sex is mainly thought to befor reproduction but we and only WE (humans) use sex with other purposes such as showing trust, love, and so on. Therefore, we or most of us need sex, it's inherent in our bodies that's why no matter who gives you a head you will have an erection, which means you are sexually functional, though I understand you don't know about this since you have no experience and it's fine. I hope it's all much clearer now.
However, given all that I've said, being able to have sex with women doesn't mean you feel happy and pleased with it. What makes us gay is not the incapability of having sex with women, it is the fact that we'd be a lot happier and complete if the partner was a man.
That is what Lube and many other men (including me) have done and realized in their lives, we all were in denial. It's also the main reason why we put an end to it and accepted who we are and learned to love ourselves for that.
I hope you can understand the idea better now, my intention has never been attacking you, I'm far from that.

 

[Jack1337]

You see, you keep missing the points people make. First of all, nobody here hit you with their rage, you've only gotten supportive replies, you should at least appreciate that.
Concerning Lube, he is gay and always has been, he was in denial and he said it himself. As for having sex with women I told you you can do that in my first reply here, it seems like you missed it too like many other points people have made. Nonetheless I'll say it again so it is even clearer: You can have sex with women, you can have erections and keep a more or less healthy sexual life with them even if you are gay, you'll wonder how's that possible? well, we are human beings mate, we are in part animals and sex is mainly thought to befor reproduction but we and only WE (humans) use sex with other purposes such as showing trust, love, and so on. Therefore, we or most of us need sex, it's inherent in our bodies that's why no matter who gives you a head you will have an erection, which means you are sexually functional, though I understand you don't know about this since you have no experience and it's fine. I hope it's all much clearer now.
However, given all that I've said, being able to have sex with women doesn't mean you feel happy and pleased with it. What makes us gay is not the incapability of having sex with women, it is the fact that we'd be a lot happier and complete if the partner was a man.
That is what Lube and many other men (including me) have done and realized in their lives, we all were in denial. It's also the main reason why we put an end to it and accepted who we are and learned to love ourselves for that.
I hope you can understand the idea better now, my intention has never been attacking you, I'm far from that.

whoa, that makes perfect sense dude, like honest.
Now I see what y'all meant.

alright so here's the thing, so far I feel emotionally much much happier when jacking off to women, like I feel very satisfied and very happy afterwards.
I feel happy after doing it to men too but it's not the same liberating, as you described it complete feeling.

I know it's weird but I separate the emotional and sexual, dunno why but I do.

My only wish is that my body or mind or whatever craved women more often

If I can have sex with a woman and you guys say I can then god knows I'll love her forever with all my heart.

 

[MindBlast]

Don't worry about whether you can have penis-in-vagina intercourse with a woman. Honestly, if you want to satisfy her sexually, you should do a little research on that topic (ask a lesbian).

I'm 26, gay, and have never even kissed a woman, much less done anything sexually with one, but even I know from talking to women that the vast majority of them prefer clitoral stimulation to vaginal sex. You have 10 fingers (I'm assuming) and a tongue. Use them to great effect. I hope you're comfortable eating pussy, because most women get orgasms from that kind of thing rather than penis-in-vagina intercourse.

There are many many things you could do sexually besides intercourse. Be creative. And that applies whether you're with a woman or a man.

 

[Jack1337]

Don't worry about whether you can have penis-in-vagina intercourse with a woman. Honestly, if you want to satisfy her sexually, you should do a little research on that topic (ask a lesbian).

I'm 26, gay, and have never even kissed a woman, much less done anything sexually with one, but even I know from talking to women that the vast majority of them prefer clitoral stimulation to vaginal sex. You have 10 fingers (I'm assuming) and a tongue. Use them to great effect. I hope you're comfortable eating pussy, because most women get orgasms from that kind of thing rather than penis-in-vagina intercourse.

There are many many things you could do sexually besides intercourse. Be creative. And that applies whether you're with a woman or a man.

eating a woman out/sucking a man has always been very unappealing to me, I don't like penises or vaginas unless the vagina is clean, shaved and kind of smaller/tighter and NOT red, I can't stand red vaginas.
But I'll have to suck it up and deal with it I guess.

Even if I'm with a guy I wouldn't want to give him head lol
I can't stand big or cut penises, I seem to prefer smaller uncut ones much like I prefer smaller and not so gaping vaginas in women.

But in all honesty genitalia is totally not my thing in either sex, guess I'll just learn to deal with it.

But thanks for the advice man, took a while but I started getting a lot of positive and helpful feedback from you guys now.

 

[latin18]

Something similar happened to me years ago, and in my case I was just in denial. Now that I'm openly gay and I embrace it, I want to spend the rest of my life with a man

 

[rareboy]

Jesus.

You really do need to work some of this out with a sexual or behavioural therapist.

I see a trainwreck ahead for you, your female partner and your sexual daddies.

The expectations you have, the anxieties you have........

It doesn't matter how you want to label yourself, I have to say...your mental preoccupations just aren't normal or possibly even healthy.

You have this whole fantasy life planned out, against a backdrop of a daddy fixation, all the while being consumed with performance anxiety.

All based on...........nothing.

Until you've actually had a relationship or sexual relations with girls or guys... trying to figure this all out, and frankly, looking to anyone on this thread to figure it out, is a waste of your time and the posters' efforts.

Every so often young confused guys will post a 'what am I?' thread, as though they are a tabula rasa entirely separate from their own actions and responsibility to explore life for themselves and make as many errors and experience as many new and unexpected joys as the rest of us have.

So.

Rather than spending your time sitting in front of a screen figuring out who you should wank to today, shut your computer off, go out into the big, big world. Get a girlfriend. A real one. A girl you actually want to spend time with instead of deciding that based on some avatar's advice she needs to be bi-sexual ( she can't be lesbian if she's willing to be with a guy).

Okey dokey?

 

[Jack1337]

Jesus.

You really do need to work some of this out with a sexual or behavioural therapist.

I see a trainwreck ahead for you, your female partner and your sexual daddies.

The expectations you have, the anxieties you have........

It doesn't matter how you want to label yourself, I have to say...your mental preoccupations just aren't normal or possibly even healthy.

You have this whole fantasy life planned out, against a backdrop of a daddy fixation, all the while being consumed with performance anxiety.

All based on...........nothing.

Until you've actually had a relationship or sexual relations with girls or guys... trying to figure this all out, and frankly, looking to anyone on this thread to figure it out, is a waste of your time and the posters' efforts.

Every so often young confused guys will post a 'what am I?' thread, as though they are a tabula rasa entirely separate from their own actions and responsibility to explore life for themselves and make as many errors and experience as many new and unexpected joys as the rest of us have.

So.

Rather than spending your time sitting in front of a screen figuring out who you should wank to today, shut your computer off, go out into the big, big world. Get a girlfriend. A real one. A girl you actually want to spend time with instead of deciding that based on some avatar's advice she needs to be bi-sexual ( she can't be lesbian if she's willing to be with a guy).

Okey dokey?

I see where you're coming from and you're right, I should man up and get a woman.
But if you think my life is going to be a trainwrack you're deluding yourself.

A daddy fixation? What's what my love for mature men or something? Well whatever it may be I don't care, there's the internet and pictures of this stuff so a quick jack off will fix any and all needs I have for that. I'll focus the rest of my sexual energy and all my love on the girl.
Think I'd cheat on her with a guy? Never, I know myself too damn well to know I'd never cheat, I'm not that sexually desperate to cheat and I never will be.

I'm just glad to know that a guy like me can have sex with a woman, sure I have anxieties when it comes to it all, who wouldn't in my situation but knowing it's possible means I can work on making it happen.

Of course none of you are happy because I'm not choosing the gay lifestyle, sorry I don't want it for now.
Maybe if I become so messed up and so desperate down the line I might but I don't see that happening ever because unlike the people who posted in this topic, I am not in denial, people here didn't even want to be called gay or admit their sexual desire for men, I do.

Another thing, I strongly doubt that when I turn 40 I'll still be attracted to men mainly because I'd be around the age as the men I'm so attracted to now are. I doubt my preferences will change to young guys then because there's nothing even remotely appealing in young guys to me and really old guys are just as disgusting and big a turn off as the young ones are.

So I'll either still be attracted to men in their 40's and 50's then even though they're my age or the attraction will fade away completely.

 

[tominstl]

I got caught on this line in one of your posts, Jack: "I won't do it now but if I'm forced to live in a world where gay people refuse to accept this is an illness or a disorder".

I am curious as to why you would think such a thing? Your sexual orientation, whatever it might be is not a disorder! it is God given and it should be explored and embraced.

This is all like you are trying to solve a mathematical problem except you have started out removing half of the possible numerals before you start. For the record. There is not really any "gay lifestyle" there are only gay people living their lives as naturally as they can. There is no "conversion" you are what God made you and whatever that might be is perfect for you if you just accept it.

After reading this whole thread, it seems to me that you are bisexual leaning toward being gay. However, someone has put a serious lie in your head about how awful a "gay lifestyle" is and that you are dirty or wrong....or to use your terms disordered or ill. Of course you do not want to be that way so you are trying like hell to make your only possible future one with a wife and a house with a white picket fence. You can put your mind to whatever lie you choose, and you can play that role that fits that world. However, you will never be happy unless you just allow yourself to be yourself. Then as open and accepting of whatever life hands you, you will meet a woman or a man that will share you life without emotional turmoil or sexual frustration.

 

[Jack1337]

God? Really now? Is this part of the whole anti intellectualism movement going on right now? Because if it weren't for people like you Godding it up, my friend, we would've found out exactly what makes people gay and what makes them straight and maybe we would've been able to do something about it.

Anyway I came here to say that out of the blue, completely out of nowhere as I was sitting here playing PacMan CE DX on PS3 my body started wanting a woman, and a specific woman too
I didn't act out on it, thinking it's one of those false signs I've been getting all month but she wouldn't leave my mind.

So I did it, here she is MAYBE NOT SAFE FOR WORK
http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/6908/1284675127274.jpg

I had a nice jack off to her an hour or two ago and it felt so damn good

Now if I'm lucky this will last for weeks, if not it'll go away in a day or two.

And yes homosexuality is a disorder, it's not dirty, it's not immoral and it is not wrong, but it is a disorder and that's final.
The only reason it's not considered one is because it's not politically correct for it to be considered a disorder.

 

[aijalon18]

This thread is so nuts. I hope this Jack is not a real person. If so he will ruin the life of whatever poor soul has the misfortune of entering into a relationship with him. Dear lord you need some serious help.

 

[Jack1337]

This thread is so nuts. I hope this Jack is not a real person. If so he will ruin the life of whatever poor soul has the misfortune of entering into a relationship with him. Dear lord you need some serious help.

I'm a loving and caring guy, I have many friends and a good family who love me a lot and I love them back.
I've never ruined anybody's life and I sure as hell am not going to ruin the life of someone I plan on loving forever.

Of course mean internet pricks can't even begin to understand that.

 

[aijalon18]

I'm a loving and caring guy, I have many friends and a good family who love me a lot and I love them back.
I've never ruined anybody's life and I sure as hell am not going to ruin the life of someone I plan on loving forever.

Of course mean internet pricks can't even begin to understand that.

I'm not being mean. You seriously need help sorting this out. Some of the things you have said sound so bizarre and just completely out of touch with reality.

You're "I know myself" attitude is misguided and immature. Nobody plans on growing up and being a cheater or betraying their lover/wife. Everyone who gets married plans on loving their partner forever. But life doesnt work out that way.

These things just happen no matter how many friends you have or how loving your family is. You wouldnt know that b/c you havent had a real relationship.

I'm trying to be honest with you when I say someone's life will be ruined. It is completely unfair for u to enter into a relationship until you work out the very serious relationship/sexuality issues u are dealing with.

 

[bhandsome]

First of all, don't even consider the option of taking your life...

I'm 20 years-old and currently trying to figure out my sexuality but I don't let my frustration get the best of me because it's not what I want my life to consume of. I too have felt random attractions to women and have those feelings vanish within minutes; it's just a sudden arousal that I just get, possibly just cause I'm horny and want to relieve myself. I'm setting a personal goal to stop looking at porn for awhile because at this point in my life I don't think it's something my mind needs to consume itself around as far as helping figure out my sexuality. Porn is what I let identify my sexuality based on the fact that I just looked at gay porn and str8 porn never got my off...it's not a healthy ideal.

I would like to advise that you continue to ask questions here and stop beating yourself up. Just sit down, think, and start to take control of your feelings cause that's what they are, your feelings! If you want balance you make it happen, if you want to be with a woman, you can; but don't get involved with anyone still feeling confused about who you are sexually. Yes it's more to a relationship than sex but your mental disorder can really affect your relationship with whomever your with.

Stay positive.

 

[Jack1337]

I'm not being mean. You seriously need help sorting this out. Some of the things you have said sound so bizarre and just completely out of touch with reality.

You're "I know myself" attitude is misguided and immature. Nobody plans on growing up and being a cheater or betraying their lover/wife. Everyone who gets married plans on loving their partner forever. But life doesnt work out that way.

These things just happen no matter how many friends you have or how loving your family is. You wouldnt know that b/c you havent had a real relationship.

I'm trying to be honest with you when I say someone's life will be ruined. It is completely unfair for u to enter into a relationship until you work out the very serious relationship/sexuality issues u are dealing with.

I understand what you're saying and you make some good points there, but fact of the matter is that my issues aren't as big as you think.
I'm obviously bi, right now I'm more into women again, finally happened and we'll see how long it'll last this time.
My biggest concern was whether or not I could have physical intimacy with a woman, now that I know I can actually have sex with one because completely gay people have had sex I'm much much better.

I have no problem accepting my sexuality, but if you think I'll run out on my wife and cheat on her with a dude or another woman you're damn wrong.
It's simple, never in my life have I put my sexual needs before anything else and I never will, this isn't an opinion this is a cold hard fact.

 

[aijalon18]

My biggest concern was whether or not I could have physical intimacy with a woman, now that I know I can actually have sex with one because completely gay people have had sex I'm much much better.

I have no problem accepting my sexuality, but if you think I'll run out on my wife and cheat on her with a dude or another woman you're damn wrong.
It's simple, never in my life have I put my sexual needs before anything else and I never will, this isn't an opinion this is a cold hard fact.

There is no way for you to know you can have intimacy w/ a woman b/c some gay people here have. You are not them. Clearly you have a lot of anxiety about it and someone with so much going in their head isnt likely to be a good sex partner for a woman.

You're still not being realistic. Most women your age have likely had sex already and the fact that you havent is kind of a big deal and something they are gonna notice. Guys that have straight sex don't know what they are doing right away and need

 

[Jack1337]

There is no way for you to know you can have intimacy w/ a woman b/c some gay people here have. You are not them. Clearly you have a lot of anxiety about it and someone with so much going in their head isnt likely to be a good sex partner for a woman.

You're still not being realistic. Most women your age have likely had sex already and the fact that you havent is kind of a big deal and something they are gonna notice. Guys that have straight sex don't know what they are doing right away and need

I'm well aware of that and I'm not afraid to embarrass myself
I don't hide I'm a virgil in real life and those things don't embarrass me

Know what? I'm going to have yet another problem with a woman, I'm not ashamed to admit that either, my penis is 3.5 inches erect but after talking to women online they've assured me that while it may be a problem for some women others won't mind.

I'm a very realistic guy and I know that between my small penis, lack of experience and sexuality issues I'm going to have to overcome quite a few difficulties, but at least one thing's out of the way, even fully gay people can have sex so my anxiety in that regard is gone already.
I talked to another gay guy over AIM and he is fully gay but he's had sex with women for the heck of it and it worked out just fine.

I'm not saying I don't have issues
but they are not so big that I would ruin someone's life over them

 

[silosybin]

bro i went through a very similar thing before i finally realized i was gay.

i would feel like i went thru "modes" where for months at a time i would only like guys and then all of a sudden i'd feel like i wanted a girl too. this went on for years. it led to a lot of social anxiety and i never really had much success bringing myself to flirt with girls comfortably. i thought i was love-shy but now i know better. when i went into "straight mode" i also seemed to have different preferences in women from my friends... i never really got off on the model-type girls that most comfortably straight guys seem to be into.

whether or not you're going thru the same thing i did, i don't know, only you can tell. but you need to be honest with yourself. people here are being very nice and giving you honest adivce, but you seem to think they are "being mean". they really aren't.

if you want to chat id be happy to, just pm me your aim.