I'm having some trouble with this...

[yeeeaaahhh]

Okay, so I am having some trouble with my sexuality.
I am bisexual. As far as percentages go, I am basically 50/50.
And I am normally okay with that. But right now I am not.
I mean, being gay or bi is fine... for anyone else.
I don't really understand why I can't just be normal.
And everyone says "Being gay or bi is normal!" but it's not.
As biology student, I think I know a thing or two about what's normal and what's not.
Being gay/ bi decreses fitness (the ability of an organism to reproduce and survive). Decreased fitness means that over time our numbers should be dropping. But they aren't. Which means that we cannot be normal.
So, back to the point... I remember when I was Mr. religious.
I prayed that God would save me and make me a normal heterosexual male.
It didn't happen.
And I came to terms with that.
But sometimes (like right now) I am not at terms with it.
And it sucks.

How do you guys make it? How are you okay with yourself all the time? How do you feel about being biologically abnormal?
Are there anyways to be make myself more okay with it?

 

[fairyland]

Get help. Professional help.

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

Being gay is too biologically normal.

I think I explained why it's not, so unless you can dispute raw science. It is not.

 

[hairycub29]

i consider myself "hetero sexually impaired"....... its easier and makes peeps think for a minute when i say it hahaa

 

[sparky95]

I think I explained why it's not, so unless you can dispute raw science. It is not.

You did not explain it. You simply made a statement that it is not. I must ask why do you think that your sexual feelings need explanation and justification?

 

[justsimon]

Statistically, bisexuality and/or homosexuality may not be normal, but they are natural. Have you tried counseling?

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

You did not explain it. You simply made a statement that it is not. I must ask why do you think that your sexual feelings need explanation and justification?

Because everything needs explination. That is what science is all about.

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

No, you actually didn't.

If homosexuality wasn't normal or natural, there wouldn't be so many gay people born that way, nor would there be homosexuality in the rest of the animal kingdom.

Like someone said, you need help coming to terms with yourself.

Life is based off of fitness in an organism. It's the reason why the concept of "survival of the fittest" is true. Genes that increase fitness stay in a population, and genes that decrease fitness decrease also. Therefore, since homosexuality causes one to not desire to copulate with the opposite sex, it's decreasing fitness, and logically there should be less and less of them as time goes on.
All of that to say that homosexuality is abnormal for two reasons:
1. It decreases fitness
2. When the occurrence of it should decrease, it seems to be maintained in the population.

Can you understand that?

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

Oh, and as for homosexuality in the animal kingdom:
Male animals who copulate with other males are not homosexual. It's merely a dominance issue. Those animals also copulate with females.
This is true EXCEPT in rams, which are the only other animal who has a specific partner preference like humans do.
Which is why rams are the animals being used to do research on homosexuality in humans.

 

[bzeus69]

hmm, it appears that your looking for scientific evidence for what is right and wrong regarding sexual orientation, yet base your own opinions on stereotypes and religions.

If you want to know the truth, do away with it all, and look down into yourself for the answer.

Ask "What makes me being gay wrong?" If you can provide an answer to that without having to rely on stereotypes of the past or a religious concern, then you'll find the truth behind your question.


I can answer it easily.


Free Will.


Once I had realized this for myself, I had no need to seek "approval" from anyone or anything. Accept yourself for who you are, and get on with your life.

(btw... with all the children in orphanages from screwed up "hetero" families ... why would you be worried about the population if someone decides to be bi/gay?)

Note: bah... I could go on for ages.... but I had to be blunt without writing an essay explaining why this and that.

Edit: ok so yeah, I didn't realize how big of a nutjob we're dealing with here so... no clue why I bothered. First he started briefly on the biology bit, then got into god this and that, and now apparently wants to play simba in the next lion king.

I give up... =(

 

[2243]

As biology student, I think I know a thing or two about what's normal and what's not.
Being gay/ bi decreses fitness (the ability of an organism to reproduce and survive). Decreased fitness means that over time our numbers should be dropping. But they aren't. Which means that we cannot be normal.

I don't understand your logic here . If by decreased fitness you specifically mean the ability to reproduce and survive then why do you think "our numbers" should be dropping?? Gay people do not make gay people. It seems that you are excluding gay/bi people from the human species and that is incorrect because we are humans, no?

 

[justsimon]

Life is based off of fitness in an organism. It's the reason why the concept of "survival of the fittest" is true. Genes that increase fitness stay in a population, and genes that decrease fitness decrease also. Therefore, since homosexuality causes one to not desire to copulate with the opposite sex, it's decreasing fitness, and logically there should be less and less of them as time goes on.
All of that to say that homosexuality is abnormal for two reasons:
1. It decreases fitness
2. When the occurrence of it should decrease, it seems to be maintained in the population.

Can you understand that?

That's assuming that there's no evolutionary advantage to limiting population growth.

There's also absolutely no evidence that genetic abnormalities that, as you say, decrease fitness decrease over time. If that were true we wouldn't have documentation showing that inherited diseases such as epilepsy (not always genetic) and hemophilia have existed since the beginning of recorded history.

I don't understand the point of your argument. Are you trying to prove that your sexuality is the fault of something other than biology so that you have something or someone to blame?

 

[2243]

(btw... with all the children in orphanages from screwed up "hetero" families ... why would you be worried about the population if someone decides to be bi/gay?)

....Exactly.

 

[yeeeaaahhh]

This isn't even what I wanted to talk about.
Despite the normality of homosexuality...
I just sometimes wonder "why?" Why coudn't I be heterosexual and "normal" and everything.
Most of the time I am okay, but just sometimes I am not. And this is one of those times.

 

[2243]

Decides to be bi/gay? Never knew it happened like that.

Well for the most part I don't believe it happens like that, but I guess in some cases it could.

 

[2243]

This isn't even what I wanted to talk about.
Despite the normality of homosexuality...
I just sometimes wonder "why?" Why coudn't I be heterosexual and "normal" and everything.
Most of the time I am okay, but just sometimes I am not. And this is one of those times.

I do know what you mean about not being "ok" with it. I was just confused about how you figured we were abnormal. The way I see it's just very unfair. I don't consider my-self a "happy gay" btw, but maybe we shouldn't talk about why we are unhappy here because we might drag others down.

 

[bzeus69]

So I read some of your responses in just one of MANY other dramatically flared up threads you've created.

So, finally after about 10 years of questioning and being confused, I have decided that I am something, that it's not "straight", lol. And, furthermore, I came out to my best friend, and also one of my friends from school. And it feels pretty damn good I must say.
I am not really at the point where I am saying that I am "gay" (the title still scares me at this point) but I know that I am not straight, and that I am too into guys to be bi. I still do have feelings for girls... sometimes, but I am way more into guys. (And why shouldn't I be when they are so damn hot right? Haha).
So yeah, pretty exciting.
And I just felt like I would actually post something, instead of doing what I normally do, which is to come on the site and get off and call it good, lol.
So yeah, yey for me! Haha

I think its time for you to put the book down and get out and live a little. As suggested in another thread you made with 3 pages of responses saying the same thing.

btw, are you studying drama at that Seattle college of yours?

And I noticed this as well:

I am proud to say that in the past 6 months I have grown more comfortable with my sexuality than I ever thought I would be.
I identify as a very bisexual man. And that is perfectly okay with me.
Even last night some friends of mine and I were in the hot tub and much of our discussions were about me, and my sexuality, and Erica and I talking about what we liked about men.
And I must say, I do have this urge to just be honest with the world around me. Tell people that I am bi, if they ask. Or even (as dumb as this sounds) changing my "interested in" status on Facebook.
But is it really worth it?
I mean, I come from a conservtive Christian family. And I live in a conservative Christian area in Oregon. And the university that I attend in Seattle is very conservative and Christian.
I know how they all will react.
Those who are okay with it won't say anything, but for the rest of my life I will be identified as a bisexual. And I don't want that.
Straight people are not defined by their sexuality. When most people go up to a straight person they aren't thinking in the back of their mind "Oh man, it's a straight guy". But they do do that with gay guys. I know this. I have done it myself. And honestly, I don't really want people to just see that in me.
I am a person. Sure I am bi. But I am a person. My name is Aaron. I have likes and dislikes. There is so much more to me than my sexual preference. And I don't want to risk people no longer seeing that.
What do you guys think? Can anyone else relate to what I am saying here?

Stop blaming your sexuality confusions on your upbringing.
I've been there, done that with the Conservative Christian thing. (If you only knew.... ha!)

My best advice at this point is to stop following the bandwagon and do what YOU want. Think what YOU want to think. Believe in whatever YOU want to believe in.

Thats what makes us "un-natural" people so strong vs. the confused masses. We KNOW who we are, and don't need a book to tell us.

The only thing that still confuses me... why the hell create this dramatic thread if you feel as described above? what changed? lol



Also:

Decides to be bi/gay? Never knew it happened like that.

I worded it wrong, lol I simply wrote how I said it in my head, although yes, I know its not a "decision" one can turn on and off, lol..... forgive me

 

[kevbo]

Why coudn't I be heterosexual and "normal" and everything.

A more important question: Why can't homo/bisexuality be considered "normal" in a social sense? Are you that angry about being different?

 

[bzeus69]

A more important question: Why can't homo/bisexuality be considered "normal" in a social sense? Are you that angry about being different?

ding ding ding

 

[tonyboy]

Life is based off of fitness in an organism. It's the reason why the concept of "survival of the fittest" is true. Genes that increase fitness stay in a population, and genes that decrease fitness decrease also. Therefore, since homosexuality causes one to not desire to copulate with the opposite sex, it's decreasing fitness, and logically there should be less and less of them as time goes on.
All of that to say that homosexuality is abnormal for two reasons:
1. It decreases fitness
2. When the occurrence of it should decrease, it seems to be maintained in the population.

Can you understand that?

Did you consider the possibility that homosexuality is not totally genetic? I a very interesting scientiic article in the Atlantic Monthly sometime ago. The thesis was that homosexulaity may be caused or partially caused by a virus or bacteria. Not hard to believe when we've been hearing in recent years about heart disease and other things caused by viruses.
The article stated that if people we born gay and they carried some sort of 'gay'gene then that gene would be pretty much die out because not many gay guys have children.
That theory makes sense to me.
The idea is that most, but not all, children are born hetero.... which makes sense because that is how the human population increases itself. But at some point in childhood or infancy there is something that changes that trait.
In any case my friend, don't fret over it. Nothing you nor I nor anyone can do about the fact that we are gay men. Some of us wish it were otherwise, others don't.
Just say cool and stay in school.... and stay as cute and handsome as you are right now.