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Im In Love With My Straight Best Friend!!!!!!

d-no777

d-no777

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ok so my best friend resently had a tragic death of a close friend...and he is the straightest guy i know, well he was crying and i hugged him to console him...then boom it hit me i love this man...then the other day we where watching tv on my couch and we both fell asleep and my head was on him...when i woke up he was rubbing my back...when i asked him after he said oh i was dreaming and thought u where a girl...oh and im in the closet so he has no clue im into dudes or him...i need help!
 
something like that has happened to me without the death of someone but I am also in the closet and he is really really gay let me just tell you something, love him for who he is and enjoy his company and your friendship but try no to Love Love him cause you could lose a great friend
 
Oh boy, gay guy falling for straight best friend is so common...because of the close relationship and the great feeling of being around the person...but yeah, not going to end well if you do not respect his own preference and intrude on it.
 
Look, i had a similar experience where my friend actually kissed the back of my neck and said my name, but he still maintains that he is straight, and i'm still alone...so don't read in to it too much, things like this don't work out, and life is not like a movie where you can be completely heart broken and have your other best friend (who is a girl) confront the guy and have him finally understand whats going on....its more than likely not going to happen, and if i were you i would avoid the heartache of pursuing this. Trust me, it's one of the worst feelings you can ever have
 
There is no ''sign'' there. Since your friend is 100% straight and thinks you are as straight as he is, he didn't pay any attention to whether his moves look gay or not.

He is NOT into men, and probobably has no clue you are, so stop thinking those straight guys are gonna go gay just because you got a crush on them.

I guess you are pretty young d-no777, and thinking such things are common to guys our age (I am young as well,and still learning from my mistakes). This story certainly once happenned to every gay guy on Earth, but you got to try falling in love with guys that are on YOUR side. You'll see, you'll get more success with gay guys!

Anyways, good luck and don't forget that there are still 3 billion men on Earth: you've got plenty of possibilities! ;)
 
jamesdude said:
Oh it is SOO hard loving a str8 friend and knowing you can never have him.

I have a good friendship with this one friend I got, but I soo fucking want his body. Sometimes I just wanna take him and fuck the shit outta him, and believe me, sometimes it's sooo hard not to act on those urges.
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Me too, though its not so much I want his body as wanting him. He's known that I am gay for a long while, he was one of the first I told. And I hinted at how much I liked him when I came out to him but finally spilled everything a few weeks ago. He took it well, nothing has really changed between us other than now I know that he knows how much I love him.
 
You're positive he's straight...why? Because he dates women? Because he doesn't carry a purse? You're obviously hiding your homosexuality from him, so it's possible he's hiding his from you, as well.

If you don't come out to your friend, you've got close to zero chance of anything happening.

If you do come out to your friend, you at least give him a sign that if he IS interested in something happening, you're probably open to the idea. I can't say it's now LIKELY, but it's certainly a hell of a lot more likely than if you never tell him.

Up to you.

Lex
 
d-no777 said:
i understand wat u guys are saying but does is nap thing a sign?
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There's a stereotype out there that straight men don't have feelings. Only women and gay men have feelings.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Men have very strong and visceral feelings- they're just not as good as women at distinguishing exactly those feelings are. So, a strong feeling of grief or a strong feeling of friendship can feel a lot like love or lust or a lot of things.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that love between friends is the same as romantic love (or even lust). If you can't sort this all out, you're in for a lot of lonely nights while your straight guy friends are out with their girlfriends and wives.
 
Just been there. Gladly, mine turned out (if not perfect, al least) well, since I told him I was gay and he just told me he isn't and that was it. My feelings are still there, but the definition gives a whole new perspective on everything.
I'd say don't read too much, this is a waaaay too dangerous and hurtful game to be played. You should either tell him straight out you're gay or try to avoid the situations...even though I know by my own experience that it is 10000x easier to say than to do.
 
ericrustad said:
Oh boy, gay guy falling for straight best friend is so common...because of the close relationship and the great feeling of being around the person...but yeah, not going to end well if you do not respect his own preference and intrude on it.
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Been there, done that. If you tell him you love him, it doesn't end well...trust me.

About the only thing you can do is come out to him, and if he's into you, it will progress naturally. If not, then nothing happens. The ONLY way to break your bond from him is to see him much less often, and you'll have to consciously not think about him.

It's hard, yes, but it's the only way.

I feel your pain.
 
thank you all 4 ur replys, and ur help, iv been thinking alot latley and i still have no clue what im gunna do! iv considered all ur comments, and if i tell him it might ruin our friendship, however my love for him is eating me up inside! i think about him 24/7, i dream about him, i wanna be with hm all the time, theres been time where he has touched me in very gay ways but he plays it off as joking...but when he touches me i get all tingly inside and when i look into his eyes my heart fills with every emotion! how do i get over this! how do i move on? im madly in love with this guy and i cant be with him...i dont know what to do
 
my opinion:

enjoy him & his company now... live for the moment, shower him with love & affection, even gifts:D, who knows with all the attention he's getting from you,
it would be very difficult for him not to think about you also... I know how it feels
thinking about a guy 24/7 , its like a sickening empty feeling in your gut not to see
him.. so instead acting like a lovesick puppy, go out and see him and be with him..
 
Oh no dont start that, its been stated in earlier comments. Either stay his friend or distance yourself from him. The 24/7 feeling is a bad symptom, and just wait until he gets a gf then itll really get at you haha i know trust me. Either be his best friend or just distance yourself out to being a friend becauase anything more will just hurt you in the end. And for all those little gay things he does please please dont over think those as "theres a possiblitiy" becuase there isnt :( hes just playing around with you key word "playing" Enjoy the friendship, dont get sucked into the love. love is painful.
 
you're gonna have to do what the guys told me b4!
Stop hanging around him! I'm going through the exact same thing! Only I told him and he was so cool about it!

Look but think about though! You like him right! well anyhting he does to you, you make it a big deal! Like "OH MY GOD HE SAID HE LOVES ME!" and he can be joking and friendly but since you like him, you take it as "wow he has to be into me since he said that" ya know?
 
Don't get your hopes up. We've all been there!

Men can be just as emotional and sensitive as women. They open up to people with whom they feel connected to. Unfortunately, these displays of emotion/affection can play games in the heads of us gay men. It's not wrought with malintent nor any fault of the straight men - it's just how it is sometimes.

Appreciate it for what it is and continue being his friend. Esp during times of grief people aren't the same emotionally.
 
ok tell me if this means anything? we where hanging out tonight me him and 2 of my ex girlfriends...i was flirting with one and eventually hooked up with her...but the whole time he couldnt even look at me or talk to me all night...i was like are u ok and hes like ya, i was like are u sure, hes like ya...then i brought him home and i was like uv been queite all night, then i said im only trying to be a good friend then he said ya again in his i dont give a crap tone, then we had plans all week set for tomarrow and i was like so ill see u tomarrow and hes like i dunno! hes messin me up! i get so frustrated and wanna strangle him but im so deeply in love with him! im such a mess and i cant even show it the whole ride home i cried my eyes out:(
 
I'm new in this forum, and (sorry to say this d-no), this whole line of conversation is kinda nice for me...I know now that I am not the only person who has been in the hell of loving a friend and knowing it will never ever be--there are lots of us. I really need to get out more. Anyway, unrequited love is a bitch.
 
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