I'm into him. I think he's into me? Closet Case, or just friends?

[intime25]

Hm ... this thread seems to have simply ended. I guess I happened along it too late to comment. Are there any updates to the story?

- As for movies... You might try, "The Love of Siam." Sweet and sad.

- Lots of people are in your position ... so I think lots of people can identify with you. It could be worse in certain countries where being "out" is even less accepted ...

- With a girl, maybe all you risk is personal rejection, whereas if it's a guy, you're dealing with social pressures/familial expectations, too. You have to risk two things: 1) Revealing your orientation, 2) Divulging your personal feelings.

- It may be easier, and perhaps closer to the truth, if you keep things in category 2, i.e. more specific. Deal with the *person* and -- in this situation at least -- avoid applying labels like "gay" "straight" or whatever. Otherwise you might have to sort through the implications of that first.

Just keep it personal: It's not that "I like boys." (Maybe you haven't decided). It's that "I like you." And right now, that's all that matters.

Thanks for the advice!

Hah, well I guess I did kind of leave the thread. I didn't really want to post any updates unless there were major ones, and there haven't been(people seemed to be getting irritated.) But we've pretty much become best friends.. very close. I decided to just let things play out and not really 'push' it, see where it goes from there.

I've come to the conclusion that he may be in denial, so its best just to let him be for now. He's very hot/cold. He'll be very touchy, flirty, sexual for a while, then after it becomes apparent that he was showing feelings of attraction, he'll do a 360 and keep a little bit of space.

College is starting back up again tomorrow, and all of next week starting tomorrow is pretty much party week as people will be moved in, but classes will not start until around Friday. It should be interesting to observe how interactions with friends/girls have changed from the end of last semester, and how our own interactions within our group of friends has changed-- with alcohol in the mix there are bound to be a few surprises.

 

[CudDULL]

You guys clearly have a great relationship so if you brought up the jerking at night thing I don't think it would ruin your bond.

Try to more actively be touchy feely with him and see how he reacts back. I'm sure if he has any interest in you he will playful respond.

I have a feeling you two have a great friendship and that he could possibly be feeling more for you too.

 

[CudDULL]

Oh fuck my post, I didn't read anything but your first post. You basically have done what I've suggested. I guess its time to just be bolder and take the plunge imo....

 

[rareboy]

with alcohol in the mix there are bound to be a few surprises.

Usually not.

But maybe he'll be the classic three beer queer.

Just watch out when you all sober up though.

 

[TX-Beau]

If you mange to fuck him, he’s going to fuck you’re head and heart next. He’s certainly not going to suddenly decide you two are Romeo an Romeo and run off into a sunset with you. Most likely, he’ll just pretend it never happened every morning after – which will just be more torture and drama for you. That or he’ll shut you out entirely until he wants another blowjob.

This guy is running from honest relationships with men because he doesn’t want to be gay. Where does that leave you?

1. You’re not out either, and show no signs of being so.

2. Dating you is everything he’s running from.

Do you see any kind of long term potential here?

Waiting on a closet case is never productive, and conflicted boys will break your heart every time. He’s not coming out anytime soon, so go find someone who will give you back what you want. You can still be friends with this guy.

Incidentally, “I’ve never had feelings like this before,” certainly doesn’t mean, “I’ll never have feelings like this again,” don’t waste valuable college life chasing a Chimera.

This all assumes of course that he's actually interested and you're not trying to hope that into reality.

 

[spencer]

First, let me begin by saying I’m eighteen years old, have been with only a 1 or 2 girls in my life and 1 or 2 guys that no one knows about. Basically, everyone thinks I’m straight, but I’m bisexual with a lean towards guys

How do you lose count with a number like 1 and 2?

Like 1 or 2 girls and guys here and there. Um, 15 or 16 is an about number. With 1 or 2, it's either 1 or 2. Just sayin

 

[risemix]

If you mange to fuck him, he’s going to fuck you’re head and heart next. He’s certainly not going to suddenly decide you two are Romeo an Romeo and run off into a sunset with you. Most likely, he’ll just pretend it never happened every morning after – which will just be more torture and drama for you. That or he’ll shut you out entirely until he wants another blowjob.

This guy is running from honest relationships with men because he doesn’t want to be gay. Where does that leave you?

1. You’re not out either, and show no signs of being so.

2. Dating you is everything he’s running from.

Do you see any kind of long term potential here?

Waiting on a closet case is never productive, and conflicted boys will break your heart every time. He’s not coming out anytime soon, so go find someone who will give you back what you want. You can still be friends with this guy.

Incidentally, “I’ve never had feelings like this before,” certainly doesn’t mean, “I’ll never have feelings like this again,” don’t waste valuable college life chasing a Chimera.

This all assumes of course that he's actually interested and you're not trying to hope that into reality.

Totally agree with this assessment. My first (and only) boyfriend was a "questioning" "straight guy" and the relationship fizzled after six months because deep down, he blamed me for "converting" him and felt I'd taken his chance at a normal life away or something.

One day he'll get over it and realize how dumb he was. But it hurt really badly at the time when he said that and I broke it off immediately. I don't think I'll mess with someone who doesn't know who he is again.

 

[texan_slant]

I hate to be blunt here, but here goes -

Two guys masturbating separately in bunk beds doesn't mean anything other than two good, yet horny friends, beatin' to the "sound of the drum"!!

In my humble opinion, there is nothing here to indicate that he is a closet case, or that you can be more than just friends.

...just feel blessed that you can masturbate in the same room, and maybe, you can turn on the lights next time and watch each other; though it still won't mean that he's gay!!