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I'm really considering coming out to my Mom here soon.

They don't love gay people? Sure they do, if they love you.
 
Sexpun de Come said:
Hm.. I dunno why but what you said there makes me feel much better about this. Thank you.
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Its funny how those small pieces of advice reach us in a way that a well thought out explanation does. Good luck! Please keep us posted.
 
Nobody "loves" any group of people. If you love an entire minority, something must be wrong with you. Sure, gay people as a whole cause people discomfort, but the difference between having feelings of ickiness toward gay people in general and actually dealing with a gay relative is huge.
 
Alright I'm gonna be coming out to her tomorrow. It probably won't go as bad as I'm worrying it will, but the idea of her knowing that about me still seems so odd. I still don't know how she'll react.

(shrugs) If you never try, you'll never know.

Wish me luck
 
hi Sexpun de Come,

Good to hear you will tell this tomorrow to your mother. I would like to wish you good luck with this important step in your life.

Good she will finally know that you are interested in guys (in stead of girls). Don't be too surprized that she might have thought about this topic before. I hope she will react fine. However, I am quite sure she will react fine & ok & understanding (etc.).

By the way, what's the meaning of your nickname (= Sexpun de Come)?

Take care & good luck & don't wait too long to tell her. Better tell her right in the morning.
 
Thank you. And Sexpun t'Come was the Bond Girl name for Francine on American Dad. It was either already taken or I was drunk and spelled it wrong. I'm not quite sure which...
 
Good luck!
 
*post got interrupted* eloquent speech made up, but when I went to go tell her I got nervous and couldn't remember how it went so I just kinda told her.

She said that she basically had it in her head that I was gay. She said that the only problem she had with it was that she knew that in order for a gay person to live a happy life they have to face a good deal of discrimination, which saddened her. The best part though was when she said that if anyone had a problem with me being gay then they were going to have a problem with her. Seeing her go into protective-mother mode made me feel much better about it.

The only bad news is that she is gonna tell my dad tonight who will likely be less accepting.
 
I'd try the Roylo 85 tact, but if she won't be dissuaded then tell him yourself with her present if you like. Congrats for your coming out to your mom. As soon as the principles in your life know you have have a huge weight lifted. Good luck and keep moving forward.
 
hi Sexpun de Come,

Congratulated with telling your mom that she has a gay son. Fantastic to read that she is supportive and that she has no problem at all that you are a gay guy. Great man. So some of us were indeed right with our idea that your mom had already some sort of idea that you might be gay. I would not bother too much that she tells it to your dad. Much better that he knows it as soon as possible. It is up to you if you want to tell him first, with or without your mom, or that your mom will tell it to him.

So this all means you don't need to hide / ly anymore when you get some gay friends (at your college), and about many other items of your life as well. I am quite sure that there are loads and loads of straight guys at your college who don't bother at all that some of their classmates are gay.

Maybe (?) your mom and dad have even discussed the topic (= you might be a gay guy) with each other? Parents who take much care about their kids might well discuss this kind of items with each other.

Thanks for your explanation of your nickname. Im not familiar with Bond movies, so that's the reason why I had no idea about your nickname.

So how is college going? Have you already met some gay friends / guys over there?

Take care & good luck & Well done!
 
I am so happy that you finally got this out. And also that your mom took it so well and is supportive of you. It must have given you monumental relief. I surely hope your dad can at least be civilized about it and at least "tolerate" it.

I came out to several people in the last several years, some were siblings who all took it well. It was certainly a relief to finally not have to hide it any more.
 
Thank you. It did go well I guess. I gave her the ok to tell my dad while I was at work and at first she said that he was saddened and maybe in denial, but later on in the night she said that he was fine with it. It still seems so weird for them to know that about me though. Did any of y'all get the same kind of awkward feeling when there was finally someone close to you who knew that about you?

And college is going fine I guess. I haven't met any gay people, but then again it's only a community college and I don't live on campus.
 
Its funny because today I actually found myself wondering how this all played out for you! Congrats Sexpun de Come! I am very happy for you and your mother. In the days to come I hope you experience the amazing relief that comes from telling your mom. I recently told my mom and I still feel amazing.

I think with your Dad he just needed to "come to terms," that his son is gay. Not to mention deal with his wife. I am sure her seeming to be the protective mom she is, she was in that mode even when speaking to her husband. I find the influence of a woman over a heterosexual man interesting.

Again I am so glad this turned out for you! May you not have to live in constant fear and stress of the worrying of them knowing. Yes I agree it is kind of odd that a parent now knows about you. I still find it odd my mom now officially knows about me. I wish you the best of luck in college and getting out there to socialize. Make sure to be safe as well.

..| :gogirl: :=D: (*8*) (!)
 
hi Sexpun de Come,

Good to hear you said to your mom that it was ok for her to tell the news to your dad. I tend to think that your dad will just need some time to get used to the idea that he has a gay son. So give him some time to get used to the idea. It is great that your mom was not surprized at all, and that your mom is very supportive. Maybe (?) / likely (?) there are more people like your mom, so people around you (at college, at work, etc.) who have some sort of idea that you might be a gay guy? I would not be too suprized that this could be the case.

I tend to think you are right now much more relaxed when you are at home. Your home is a safe haven. Good luck with your job and with going to college. I hope soon you will meet some other gay guys over there. Ofcourse, you are also free to have straight friends. Its all up to you. Any idea how the gay guys at your college are able to find you? Is there any sort of GSA and / or a GLTB group and/or meetings? They are great to make some gay friends, and to socialize with other gay people.

Good luck and I would like to wish you a nice weekend.
 
Sexpun de Come said:
Did any of y'all get the same kind of awkward feeling when there was finally someone close to you who knew that about you?
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Well done. It must feel great to finally have that weight off your shoulders. And yes, I still have that awkward feeling, even after coming out last summer, aged 21. I told my mother and she told my dad on my behalf.

Since then I've never talked about my sexuality in conversation with my parents, and I've never even shared words with my dad about it, not even once. It makes me feel like I'm still trapped in a pre-coming out mentality, somehow ](*,)

I hope you will feel more comfortable doing so, anyhow :)
 
Sexpun de Come said:
Thank you. It did go well I guess. I gave her the ok to tell my dad while I was at work and at first she said that he was saddened and maybe in denial, but later on in the night she said that he was fine with it. It still seems so weird for them to know that about me though. Did any of y'all get the same kind of awkward feeling when there was finally someone close to you who knew that about you?

And college is going fine I guess. I haven't met any gay people, but then again it's only a community college and I don't live on campus.
Click to expand...

Glad that went well with your parents. (*8*) I haven't exactly came out to my parents yet but do soon when I finish college. But I did told them I am not planning on getting married or having kids anytime soon so we don't discuss about relationship things. It was a bit awkward when I first told my sister, but we got closer each day and now we basically just talk about everything and anything now. Hope you meet some decent people in college. College freinds also play a good role in your adulthood.
 
jumblesale said:
Since then I've never talked about my sexuality in conversation with my parents, and I've never even shared words with my dad about it, not even once. It makes me feel like I'm still trapped in a pre-coming out mentality, somehow ](*,)

I hope you will feel more comfortable doing so, anyhow :)
Click to expand...

I was actually afraid of that with my parents. I didn't want it to be something that they knew but wouldn't talk about. It is still that way with my dad, but according to my mom they talk about it pretty often. Basically with my mom we'll go about our day-to-day conversations as if nothing is different, but If I bring up being gay then we'll talk about it at length.

But I do feel more comfortable. Now all I have to do is build up the courage to be openly gay. I'm sure it will be much easier with my parents knowing.

And I don't think my college has a GSA. My high school did, but I was in no shape to join that at the time.

It's weird scealle because I actually told my mom that I want to get married and have kids with a guy (surrogacy or adoption), but she kind of passes it off as some kind of far-fetched fantasy. I guess it's too far into the future to even begin to worry about.
 
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