I'm so confused with my sexuality

[Rex]

I think I'm bi but sometimes I wonder, am I just lusting after women because I'm afraid to be gay?

I used to think I was gay for a while and even accepted myself as gay but then I noticed I was still interested in women and wanted relationship with one, but I keep feeling confused about whether I want a man or a woman, because I'm also curious about having a relationship with a guy because I've never had one, I've only had sex.

I'm just not sure what I want and it's really confusing me. I want to be with a woman but I know that a side of me will still want sex with a man too. I don't want to end up in a relationship with a woman and then end up cheating on her with guys like so many other bi guys do, and I also don't know if I can stay in a serious relationship period.

I wish I was just gay or straight. I hate being bi.

 

[Ram]

Which one you do prefer emotionally?

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

For some reason i get along better with women in terms of friends and believe it or not.. transgendered people now that I've been hanging out at the gay youth center in chicago.

I don't seem to click with men unless i'm romantically involved with them

 

[Fucker29]

Well, like Piggy basically, we can't answer that for you...it's something you'll have to find the answers to by just LIVING.

 

[Rex]

Which one you do prefer emotionally?

Women emotionally, men sexually.

I'm curious to have a relationship with a guy too but it would have to be with a guy I could really connect with and there are very few guys I consider people I want a relationship with. Infact there has only been one and he didn't want a relationship so it never happened, while with a woman I'm not quite as picky.

 

[Ram]

Women emotionally, men sexually.

I'm curious to have a relationship with a guy too but it would have to be with a guy I could really connect with and there are very few guys I consider people I want a relationship with. Infact there has only been one and he didn't want a relationship so it never happened, while with a woman I'm not quite as picky.

Stick with the pussy, ditch the dick.

 

[Rex]

Stick with the pussy, ditch the dick.

Like I said, there will probably always be a side of me that likes men too so it's easier said than done, but I'm curious as to why you said that?

 

[Fucker29]

Women emotionally, men sexually.

I'm curious to have a relationship with a guy too but it would have to be with a guy I could really connect with and there are very few guys I consider people I want a relationship with. Infact there has only been one and he didn't want a relationship so it never happened, while with a woman I'm not quite as picky.

That is SO common...been there myself. Yep, you're still in the "figuring yourself out" stage.

 

[Rex]

That is SO common...been there myself. Yep, you're still in the "figuring yourself out" stage.

So is that just another way of saying "you're gay but don't know it yet"?

 

[torzaaaa]

I feel For ya dude,
As a big ole ghay i`ve never been in your situation.

I can`t even say that i know what your going threw...
But im thinking like everything your answer will come with time.

You might even meet the elusive gay guy who can fulfill all your needs and wants...
I know it`s heavy on your mind but until the answer comes to you try not to dwell on it...

Or one day you`ll wake up and realise you`ve wasted half your life worrying about something you have no control over!

Take care and happy holidays!
[Happy holidays everyone!]

 

[KrisHawkXXX]

I used to think I was bi because i get along better with women then men. I still have issues connecting with boys because of the fact that i am gay.. I am afraid to grow close to people.. thats why i piss off ALOT of men.. but not women for some reason. I am the reason why most men dont like me.. Its because im afraid.. And with women i cant feel attracted to them.. so Im not afraid to grow close to them because they cant hurt me the way many men have hurt me.. emotionally and physically.

 

[Rex]

Sexuality is confusing. It is never black or white. It is all sorts of shades of gray.

Go with whatever your heart tells you at the time. And stop putting so much thought into it. Thinking about it makes you cloud your judgment.

Thanks, that makes more sense to me.

 

[Fucker29]

So is that just another way of saying "you're gay but don't know it yet"?

Not necessarily but, quite frankly, so far almost everyone I've read saying that...they realized they were gay in the end.

 

[Rex]

Would you prefer this thread be in the "Coming Out, Relationships & Bisex Talk" forum?

It typically is a "no flame area" and easier for mods to manage. It also usually keeps the conversation more civil and thoughtful, if you will.

Anyway, I generally know how you feel, as I've struggled with similar feelings myself. Generally speaking though, I consider myself more gay than straight, or even bi, but I'm perfectly capable of loving a woman sexually if I so choose. I've always been in one relationship at a time and I like keeping it that way, but I continually struggle with the benefits that both sexes might offer in a relationship. This is a tuff one! My heart goes out to ya' .....

Thanks, you can move it if you feel it's better. Doesn't really matter to me.

When I first discovered I had feelings for guys I thought I must be gay but then I realized I was still interested in women too again after time. I've heard that it my be a society influence but I'm not sure. I really don't think I'll be able to give up one or the other. I'll always want a need for both at some point. Maybe I just haven't met the right person but I agree I need to give it time and experience more of both to figure it out.

I just wish I was gay or straight and wouldn't have to deal with these feelings.

 

[fuulinluv]

i kinda have the same problem, i found out i liked guys like 4 years ago and still have a problem with it, from time to time i get turned on by girls, but i get turned on by guys a lot more often. but i think a lot of the reason why i dont like being gay is because everyone i know is homophobic and i would rather just keep it as a secret than to be segregated by them.

 

[Guy89]

I'm in the same boat. Sort of I think. I posted a topic about it a couple days ago. It's really confusing. Stacy was right when she said there are all sorts of shades of gray.

 

[Telstra]

now did you have adult fun with men more OR women more ?

If men more, go and look for man as a life partner.
If women more, go and look for woman as a life partner.

 

[stripes]

you don't have to choose a side. but you do need to accept the fact that if you truly are bisexual then you will always struggle with having to give up being with women while you are in a committed relationship(if that's the type of relationship you want) with a man and vice versa.

Bisexuals get to have their cake and eat it too when it comes to who they can hook up with, but there's a catch.

 

[KaraBulut]

You're torturing yourself.

It's not a "Yes" or "No" question. Seriously "All of the Above" is an allowable answer.

The problem is not that you don't want to be gay. The problem is that you've tried to force a choice and, in doing so, you've worked hard to create little compartments.

Compartment 1: Women for relationships and emotional connections

Compartment 2: Men for hot sweaty no-strings sex

It's not your sexuality that you need to fix. It's the way that you objectify guys in order to have sex with them.

 

[Lube]

There are millions of warm, cuddly, snuggly gay men out there that are dying to be in a relationship with another guy.

I'm one of them.

I suspect you are, too.


The biggest, meanest, muscle-iest masculine guy can be a little sweetheart in bed.