Chapter Fifty-Six
Frank sighed as I relaxed on top of him. He held me and wrapped his legs around me once more.  “It occurs to me I'm getting fucked a lot lately.” I could hear the humor in his voice, but it made me wonder.
“Too much? Am I being selfish?”
“No. You can fuck me any time you want.” He sounded like he meant it.
“It's just … You're such a good … And you seem to like it, Frank.”
“I do.”
“Ok, if you want to fuck me, I'm ready. Right now.” That wasn't actually true, but I wanted it to be and I'd let him. I'd never say no.
“Reef, you just made me come twice. Do you really think I'm ready for more?” He pulled me close again and kissed me. “I'm not eighteen any more, you know.”
“Yeah, yeah ... my antique lover is getting old. All of thirty-three, is it?”
“Thirty-four in a couple of weeks.”
“Mmm-hmm. What do you want for your birthday?”
“Another night like this one.” I felt his lips on my neck.
“No, seriously, Frank. What would you like?” That question ended with his tongue in my mouth and we went back to kissing until sleep ended it.
In the morning I woke first and pulled the covers off of us. I gently traced the subtle curves of his back with my hand. Either my touch or the chill of the room woke him and he rolled onto his side showing me his morning erection. I tried to give him a blowjob, but he pushed me away with a “gotta piss” excuse. I followed him into the bathroom and stood alongside him as we both relieved ourselves. A little kinky, I guess, something we'd never done before, but it was intimate and we followed it with a shower.
It was while he was washing my back that I felt his renewed erection. Things got a little uncomfortable and I banged my elbows on the tile repeatedly while he fucked me, but the closeness felt completely right. I wanted him in me. I stuck my butt out, trying to be open to him and felt the length of his cock massage me. After getting used to him I pushed back, welcoming his thrusts. He reached around for my cock and I came the instant he touched me. It took him a bit longer. His orgasm made me feel complete. We rewashed the dirty parts and went back to bed for a sweet half hour.
“Ok, gotta get up,” Frank moaned. “I'm pricing out the stuff I'll need in Warrenton with Jody at nine. If I don't get moving now, he'll know I just had sex and want details.”
“Do you tell him?”
“Not any more, not about us; but he still asks, the pervert ...” Frank chuckled, reflecting his long friendship with Jody.  “And, of course, he won't tell me a thing about Charlie.”
We made out a little in the kitchen waiting for the water to boil, not wanting our morning together to end quite yet. Eventually, however, he had to leave. I asked him again what he wanted for his birthday and he put me off, saying, “Get me something we'll both like.” 
Which, through some brain misfire, made me think of Sarah Felsen. I called Marv.  “I forgot to tell you yesterday that Sarah Felsen said to say hello to you and Lex.”
“Really. What's she doing these days? Or should I ask 'who'? Who being plural, of course.” Marv didn't seem delighted at the shout out from her old … old what? Friend? Lover? One- or two-night stand?
“She's busy … work and all. She's a good scientist.”
“It's that 'and all' part that's always the problem with Sarah,” Marv said. “How many people make up the 'all' you're telling me about?”
“It's hard to say, Marv.”
“So that means at least three, huh?” Marv laughed heartily at the idea. “Well, tell her the rug's been rolled up.”
“What's that mean?” I was baffled.
“She'll know.” Marv paused and began again, “So I took your photos to a meeting last night of a few local farmers and their wives. Turns out you were right. Only one of them took notice of the sexual content and to tell you the truth, I think he's a closet case. Their wives, though, were very interested. Asked some questions about that solo guy. You know, the one whose dick shows?”
“It doesn't show.”
“It does, but never mind. The wives wanted to know if he was a local. He could probably have a very successful career hustlin' horny old maids around here.”
“Thanks, I'll tell him.”
“Forget it. Just tell Sarah the rug's been rolled up.”
An hour and a half later I told Sarah, “The rug's been rolled up.” 
Sarah laughed. “Did she really say that? The bitch ...”
“What are you talking about?”
 
“I can't tell you. It's too embarrassing.”
“You? Embarrassed? Come on, Sarah ...”
“Oh, alright.” Sarah didn't need much wheedling. “Whenever we would … you know … have an intimate moment? … I would start sneezing. Every time! So weird! I told her I was allergic to her public hair.”
“So rolling up the rug means ...”
“She shaves down there. So tell her for me that dry cleaning it might have been just as good.”
“Which means …?”
“Never mind. I can't give away all our secrets.”
“So I'm thinking of quitting.” I might as well try the idea on someone, I thought.
“WHAT?”
“I'm not getting anywhere really, not doing anything important or cutting-edge, and what's my future here? Dr. Bloch barely knows my name after ten years.”
With that Carter came in. “Sarah, I couldn't find my gray shoes this morning. Do you know anything about that?”
“I think Woodie borrowed them.”
“It's getting to be like a frat house, you know?” Carter was plainly disgusted with his living arrangement and left.
Sarah sighed. “I'm getting too old to be the chief juggler in a circus act.”
“You know how to end that,” I told her.  She just shrugged at my suggestion and picked up her phone. Too slowly, I thought; I didn't like her new whistling tea kettle ring tone. 
“Woodie, for God's sake, quit wearing his clothes all the time,” she sighed again, more heavily this time. “Of course he has better taste than you. He also has more money than you!” She rolled her eyes in my direction. “No, it's not your night. Ask again and tomorrow won't be your night either!” She clicked off and stared at the phone to see if her x-ray vision could melt it. “You know, Lucien, who always seemed like the fruit cake, is the sanest one of the bunch.”
“But, au fond, ma cherie, his Franco-Swiss ass is boring.”
“German-Swiss,” she laughed. “You're right, but he's sooooo good looking.” He was. I had to give her that. “Refo, you can't leave. You're the only person I can have fun with without sex getting involved.”
“It almost got involved.”  I was thinking of our brief, almost engagement.
“And I'll always love you for that. My friend in need ...”
Lucien burst in on our moment of whistful remembrance. “Ach, mein Gott! Have you got a radio or something?” He was good looking, even in panic mode.
It took Sarah a while to tune in the all news station. “More about the Chevy Chase veterinarian, after this announcement,” the announcer said. We waited through a couple of ads for chewing gum and fast food.
“Didn't you take Merle to this nut?” Lucien asked. We fidgeted until the announcer came back on.
“As previously reported, a naked man was seen running along Wisconsin Avenue north of the River Road intersection. He disappeared into the side streets near the Dancing Crab restaurant, pursued by a shouting man. This was recorded by a bystander.” A crackly recording came on. “ '
Bad Puppy! Stop him! Stop him! 
Bad Puppy! Come back here!' The rest of the recording wasn't clear, but in a second recording the young naked man was yelling, too.  'He's trying to neuter me! He's trying to neuter me!' the young man screamed. His pursuer collapsed and was taken to Georgetown Hospital where he was identified as Dr. Lance Lampedusa, a vet with offices on River Road. The whereabouts of the naked man are presently unknown.” 
The co-anchor of the newscast came on next. “What was he saying? He's trying to noodle me? That's a new one.” She laughed a very skeptical laugh.
“I think he said 'cooter me'. Something to do with cooties, Sheila?”
“Cooties aren't real, Brian,” she replied and they shared the forced laugh that people who don't like each other make.
“In sports news ...” he continued and Sarah shut the radio off. She and Lucien both looked at me expecting answers.
“That WAS where I took Merle. And I think I know the naked man.”
“This would never happen in Zurich.” Lucien sounded rueful. “Nothing funny ever happens in Zurich.”
“Why are you wearing a tie?” Sarah asked him.
“I had to. Woodie wanted to borrow it. Do you know what he did with the last one?”
“I don't want to know.” Sarah put her hands to her ears and shook her head, saying “La-la-la-la ...”
Lucien pulled her hands away from her head. “He used it as a cock ring. It was Hermès. I say WAS. I had to throw it away.”
I expected the phone was Lucien's but he made no move. It was my phone ringing.
“Refo, it's Stan. There's a guy named John here. Should I let him in your place? And can he borrow some clothes, he wants to know.”
It was wrong, totally wrong; but I laughed.
“Not really funny,” Stan continued. “He's pretty shaken up over something and he's dressed like Adam in the Garden. A  walking privet hedge. Should I call the police?” Sotto voce, Stan whispered, “He's cute, though, Refo. You have the hottest friends I've ever seen!”
“Put him on ...” I waited. “Jawan? Is that you?”
“Help, Refo.”
I got there as fast as I could. Jawan had shed the shrubbery and was huddled in a chair wrapped in a blanket provided by Stan. He was sipping a brown beverage also provided by Stan. He was a little tipsy.
“Oh, you poor pu …. uh, you poor dude!” I commiserated.
“He had a scalpel, Refo.” Jawan's words were slightly slurred. He took a healthy swallow of Stan's bourbon. “He was gonna do it! Slice 'em right off!”
“Why? What set him off?”
“I had an accident on the rug.”
“An accident?”
“It wasn't my fault! You should have seen what else he was making me do!” Jawan shivered and snuggled deeper into the cocoon-like blanket. He offered no further explanation. “He was gonna slice 'em ...” He made a crunching sound, shuddered again, and fell silent.
Stan was entranced. “Another drink, John?”
“My worsht day at the gym was never as bad as thish.” Jawan knocked back the last of his glass and held it out for more. His hand shook while Stan poured. “Can I borrow some clothes, Reef?”
“Of course. Should we call the police?” Jawan shrugged; he had no idea. Then he shook his head no. “Come on home with me then.”
He slept as we drove to Rockingham County. I starting to think I'm boring. I seem to put people to sleep lately.