Is it possible to have true friends who are straight?

[halubtsi]

bayern20, I can see where you're coming from. I can't say that all of my conversations revolve around sex, but relationships, romance, etc. in general, yes. Everytime I go back to Ottawa, I meet up with my friends, and we do inevitably start talking about our girlfriends/boyfriends or lack thereof.

Last weekend, we chatted about gay relationships and such. They didn't seem uncomfortable, and we were in the middle of a busy restaurant. In fact, it's like my straight friends are more comfortable talking to me about gay related issues, than are my gay friends. I think the big issue that'll come up, is if they'd come out to a gay club with me when I get back to Ottawa. (And I came out about 6mos ago, too)

 

[seven_sins]

Try not to fall for them, thats all i gotta say.

Amen, brother. You can say that again.

 

[blatinoking]

Straight friends? HA! Everybody has a little bit of gay in them. They just never acted on it because of society.

 

[belamy]

Of course it´s possible, now to find at least one is less probable... you are more likely to find a cute, clever gay bitch who adores you (or says so) than a mere male friend.

 

[ross_1986]

I have straight friends who I haven't TOLD yet, but I'm pretty sure they know that I'm gay. And they dont' seem to have a problem with it at all.

 

[ross_1986]

Yeah i think its possible, infact, i know its possible. I have many many guy friends who are straight, and they have no problem with who i am. Its your true friends that stick by you...wow that sounded really cheesy.... ...but its true

lol, it does sound cheesy, but it's so true

 

[teh_nathan]

I'm sure it's possible but for me, I have yet to find that out - my best friends are all gay

 

[spooger]

I dont define myself by my sexaulity. Just because I am not attracted to the same things my friends are, doesnt mean we have nothing in common. There is so much else.

And Im not one to wear my orientation on my sleeve. It just doesnt come up all that much. I think gay people who talk about nothing but how gay they are, become annoying after a while. *snip*

TD got it right IMO....if one's sexuality is not THE defining characteristic, then there is MUCH which can be shared between true and close friends...

i have many friends ....real loving and true friends....with whom i have shared more than 20 or 30 years of wonderful experiences......laughter and tears....

i wouldn't trade one of my friends for anything.....

 

[screwnutty]

Well I had friends who where there for me...until I came out to them. All of my friends accepted me except for one. My best friend. The one that I had been experimenting with. I did everything with him except the anal thing....he never did the oral back though. We started fooling around in Grade 10 (1991) and continued through college. Stopped doing it in 2003. This year, in Feb. He gets his first girlfriend and everything is cool...we all hang out and stuff. Two months later his G/F begins to "mature" the relationship and my friend just started singing like a bird!! Told her everything and how it was just an experiment and that he loves girls....bottomline........He's stopped talking to me, his girlfriend views me as the "EX" and my other two friends have stopped talking to me too cause they think I'm trying to break them up.

But this ends good...I made new friends who are comfortable with who I am. and it's good, so yeah you can have straight friends....though it is alittle difficult to talk about gay issues and feelings and such. Which is why I have JUB!

 

[luminum]

Yes. For the last time, yes. And they can be the most supportive friends you could ever need. My best friend has always been there for me and he's straight and awesome.

 

[teh_nathan]

I see lots of stories about guys who fooled around with their friends but that's never happened to me. Just call me boring :\

 

[wundersteve]

Interesting. This has been on my mind too. I have few straight male friends now and I would like to develop some new friendships.

I've been really disappointed by some straight male "friends" who completely let the friendship go when they found girlfriends. There was one who I used to go out for lunch with once per week. Once the girlfriend entered the picture, that ended, even though she moved in with him and they married. Apparently one hour per week can no longer be spared. Then they had kids and he wants to rush home to see them every lunch hour.

Another straight friend told me he has no social life whatsoever any more, just work during the day then home in the evening.

That is really unbalanced. It seemed like my parents' generation was a lot better at balancing family, work, and friendships.

 

[teh_nathan]

I don't quite get the whole inability to balance friendships/relationships.

I've always been able to do it (well..considering the amazing lack of a relationship, it's a lot easier now )

 

[frankfrank]

If I count up six or seven people - the ones who I consider my best friends - only two of them are gay.

I sometimes find, in fact, that what could be a wonderful friendship with somebody gay, is compromised by them possibly not finding me as attractive as what they'd prefer for a sexual partner. It's not something that bothers me at all, but it seems to affect their ideas of friendship. (Sexual attraction or playing is a trivial factor with me, if at all - and actually having sex has little effect on how I feel about somebody.)

Because my sexual "attractiveness" is not a factor at all with a (potential or established) friend who is non-gay, I often find it easier to hang and form friendships with straight guys. The lack of this factor seems to more than offset the likelihood that a straight guy may have some form of homophobia or uneasiness about the topic, along with ther fact that the topic doesn't necessarily become relevant anyway.

Since I rarely "start something" or even talk about all that much gay stuff even when hanging with one or more people in gay circumstances, I'd have to say that my interactions with gays and straights...well, the similarities far outnumber the differences.

 

[screwnutty]

Interesting. This has been on my mind too. I have few straight male friends now and I would like to develop some new friendships.

I've been really disappointed by some straight male "friends" who completely let the friendship go when they found girlfriends. There was one who I used to go out for lunch with once per week. Once the girlfriend entered the picture, that ended, even though she moved in with him and they married. Apparently one hour per week can no longer be spared. Then they had kids and he wants to rush home to see them every lunch hour.

Another straight friend told me he has no social life whatsoever any more, just work during the day then home in the evening.

That is really unbalanced. It seemed like my parents' generation was a lot better at balancing family, work, and friendships.

I hear you there! Why do they do that? I don't like being mean but I find myself hoping that they break up just so that he comes back and wants to hang out so that I can tell him to &&E#T*$T$ off!!!

 

[teh_nathan]

For me..
The person that I consider my closest friend (but lives quite far away), I'm not sexually attracted to him at all, and I wouldn't even date him (it's just in that little gray area close to dating).

My other close friends are married, so I don't even think in that way =)

 

[Swellegant]

Obviously it's possible, as so many of the above responses prove; but I've never had a close straight male friend. I thought I did, my best friend in high-school and college, but then he came out right after graduation. I've never quite gotten over being hurt by that... but that's another story. My best friend right now is a straight girl, but her personality is so unlike the average straight girl that I have dubbed her an honorary gay man (actually, I say she's a gay man stuck in a woman's body).

Nevertheless, I can't imagine holding a guy's sexuality against him in a friendship. I've simply yet to meet a straight man who is into any of the things I'm into. I live a pretty gay life, I have stereotypically gay interests, and I don't find myself in social contact with a lot of straights in general. I don't avoid them, really, I just feel more comfortable around gay people and so I tend to stick with them.

I would like to have a straight male friend; I think I could learn a lot from him, and he from me. My thing about friends is that we have to have enough things in common that we can enjoy doing things together, but different enough that we can learn from each other.

But I have never chosen my friends... my friendships have always developed over time without any shepherding on my part; the only friendships I have that I worked for were men I initially wanted to date, but who only wanted friendship from me. Which is a lot like falling for your straight male friends.

 

[Soilwork]

I have lots of straight friends that I have lots in common with.. we like the same music, we like to meet up and ride our bikes and we like to party together.

we hang out together and care about what is going on with the others.. so yeah.. we're friends.

 

[bayern20]

Man, you brought an old thread up, Soil..hehe

I do think its possible now, though.