Is it weird that I'm 28 and have never been on one date with anyone, period?

[altlover85]

jdcnow, was that the first time you'd ever done anything with anyone else?

I'm surprised because you're on a website like this, so I would have thought that you would have tried cyber sex before.

 

[jdcnow]

Nope first time I ever tried cybersex. Fun, too, all the dirty talk and stuff! I mostly see JUB as a cool gay hangout to just talk about stuff, even though, it's true nature is that of a porn site. (I even have the forum's main page bookmarked in my Favorites Bar, not the JUB front page.) Love the endless supply of free porn I get here, too.

But it was a way cool thing to share and experience. Look forward to doing it again.

 

[jdcnow]

jdcnow, was that the first time you'd ever done anything with anyone else?

No. I actually did experiment back in high school with my best friend. We took turns sucking each other. It was cool. And he was my first. I think back from time to time about him. I do miss him. I hope he's doing well, and I hope he's happy.

 

[altlover85]

Oh okay. Things make a little more sense now. Although, I'm still surprised a little about the cyber thing, even though I'm not a huge fan of cyber.

 

[AsianDream]

No. I actually did experiment back in high school with my best friend. We took turns sucking each other. It was cool. And he was my first. I think back from time to time about him. I do miss him. I hope he's doing well, and I hope he's happy.

Guess I'm a bit curious about town small town life - Who do you actually have (real life) sex with these days?

 

[jdcnow]

Guess I'm a bit curious about town small town life - Who do you actually have (real life) sex with these days?

Actually, I haven't had sex in real life since the friend in high school. Which, I don't mind.

And you don't meet anyone in small towns (even for a date) unless you are willing to go to the nearest gay nightclub or PFLAG group, etc. And the nearest one in my case is about 60 miles away.

In a small town, you don't meet people, even for a date. A) People are nosy, and everyone knows everyone else's business. B) Combine the nosiness and busybodyism with hardcore Christianity...

Unfortunately I live in a small Christian town where homosexuality is still mentioned with an embarrassed whisper, where same-sex love is still the punchline of jokes.

...and you can see why...you just don't meet people in small towns. It just isn't done. I'm probably the only homosexual within literally 40 or 50 miles of here. If it weren't for meeting people online, and message boards like here at JUB, I honestly believe that I would go the rest of my entire life not knowing that there are others out there who are gay like me. There is literally nothing out here.

Years ago, I read the writing on the wall that the sooner I made peace with the fact that I would never have a relationship with another person, that I would never know intimate human love the way other people (straight people) know it...the sooner I accepted that, the better off I would be. Gays who live in the big cities - believe me, you don't know how good you truly have it.

I would eventually like a boyfriend/partner/husband, but I am under no misgivings about this >> I know full well, I necessarily will have to move away before that happens. Here's the thing >> Where I live is literally a generational town. When I posted this, earlier in this thread...

And believe me. You *Do Not* want to know what happens in small towns. How do you think that everybody winds up as some kind of kin to everybody else? (Cues the obligatory banjo music...) After a while, it's like the soap operas, where there are whole clans of families that run the town.

...That's actually what my immediate town I live in is like. Most of everyone who tries to leave ends up coming back here. But mostly no one ever leaves. Not kidding. Most of the people here live either next door to or down the street from their parents. They get a job, make a life for themselves here, have their kids here... Then in 20 years, the kids grow up, and rinse and repeat, and we start over. Because of the pervasiveness of how everyone here is a Christian and judges homosexuality as sinful, wrong, and evil, any deviation from that is risky at best, and flat-out dangerous at worst.

 

[altlover85]

jdcnow, I don't think anyone's holding a gun to your head forcing you to stay in the town. Once you save your money, get out of there. You might even want to look at community colleges near your destination city, as opposed to where you are right now.

 

[jdcnow]

jdcnow, I don't think anyone's holding a gun to your head forcing you to stay in the town. Once you save your money, get out of there. You might even want to look at community colleges near your destination city, as opposed to where you are right now.

Thanks. I might just look into that, as well.

 

[Lube]

Congrats on the progress and forward thinking you are doing.

You live in a small town of a few hundred or few thousand people? You are not the only gay person there.

This goes to show many skeptical JUBbers how many men are living on the DL or in outright denial. If 10% or even just 5% of men are gay, then there are dozens to hundreds of other gay men and lesbians in your town.

You are very lucky in that you have acknowledged the truth about yourself, and doing something about it. Good luck!

 

[jdcnow]

Congrats on the progress and forward thinking you are doing.

You live in a small town of a few hundred or few thousand people? You are not the only gay person there.

This goes to show many skeptical JUBbers how many men are living on the DL or in outright denial. If 10% or even just 5% of men are gay, then there are dozens to hundreds of other gay men and lesbians in your town.

You are very lucky in that you have acknowledged the truth about yourself, and doing something about it. Good luck!

Thanks, Lube.

We're about 1,800 people strong, which is about moderate for a very small town. No, this is your typical church-going Christian small town, basically Mayberry from the Andy Griffith Show. I'm pretty much it for the gay population here.

I accepted myself long ago. And now, I know what to do, and where I want to go. It's just a matter of getting there, and that will take time.

Appreaciate the well wishes and advice from everyone.
Thanks!

 

[Lube]

Thanks, Lube.

We're about 1,800 people strong, which is about moderate for a very small town. No, this is your typical church-going Christian small town, basically Mayberry from the Andy Griffith Show. I'm pretty much it for the gay population here.

I accepted myself long ago. And now, I know what to do, and where I want to go. It's just a matter of getting there, and that will take time.

Appreaciate the well wishes and advice from everyone.
Thanks!

You're welcome.

If only your Christian village were like this one.

 

[jdcnow]

^^ :rotfflmao: LMAO, Lube, thanks!

Yeah, if only everyone was like that. (And the vicar was quite handsome! )

Just to give you an idea of the mental feces presented as if it were actual truth, and the kind of mindset of a far-right Christian town... Overnight last night/super early this morning on my shift, I was chatting with the on-duty cop, a 60+ year old gentleman. I started to tell him about my plan for this year... Priorities first: get my debt paid off, get me a decent car... Then, lose a few more pounds, spoil myself on some extras I've been wanting (a Nintendo Wii, a tattoo or two...), then college. When it got to the part about me getting tattoos, he replies, "Tattoos are a sign of a weak mind." Not kidding, he actually said that. We have it on tape. In my mind, I'm thinking, 'Wow. Just friggin' wow! Seriously? Cause that line on my driver's license that says 'Under 21 Until...' was taken off years ago. Which means I can decide for myself, thanks.'

...And that's what I'm talking about. Even if you are a full grown adult, free to do as you decide, if what you want to do with your life doesn't fall into lockstep with this Norman Rockwell/Leave It To Beaver/Father Knows Best/Andy Griffith Show narrative of how life "should" be lived, you will be looked down upon, and people will come after you for it (either by embarrasing you, cutting off opportunities that would otherwise be open to you, impacting where you work and how you make a living, etc).

 

[AsianDream]

Actually, I haven't had sex in real life since the friend in high school. Which, I don't mind.

And you don't meet anyone in small towns (even for a date) unless you are willing to go to the nearest gay nightclub or PFLAG group, etc. And the nearest one in my case is about 60 miles away.

In a small town, you don't meet people, even for a date. A) People are nosy, and everyone knows everyone else's business. B) Combine the nosiness and busybodyism with hardcore Christianity...

OMG - "Not had sex since high school"

GET OUT OF THAT TOWN and do it fast

Move to a big city - there's a certainty of meeting guys for sex - plus a much bigger chance of meeting someone to love

 

[jdcnow]

OMG - "Not had sex since high school"

GET OUT OF THAT TOWN and do it fast

Move to a big city - there's a certainty of meeting guys for sex - plus a much bigger chance of meeting someone to love

Lol, Thanks for the awesome post. 2011 gives me the chance to wipe the slate clean and start over. Believe me, I can't wait to fulfill my first two priorities (get out of debt, get a decent car), so that I can get the ball rolling on college and move.

 

[AsianDream]

Lol, Thanks for the awesome post. 2011 gives me the chance to wipe the slate clean and start over. Believe me, I can't wait to fulfill my first two priorities (get out of debt, get a decent car), so that I can get the ball rolling on college and move.

Fuck - move to New York - your creditors wonlt catch up with you for years - plus you won't need a car - one big plus is you will find guys to have sex with,

Persoanlly - never not lived in a big city - Melbourne OZ at the moment - but just as much a big gay community as HK.

Don't waste your life in hicksvile - it's the only life you've got - get out now!