is my friend gay and closeted?

[nachocheez]

there is a guy i know at school, that is probably a 10 on the looks scale. He dumped a girl friend because "she wanted to have sex". also, he went on a few dates with a really hot girl and he broke it off because "her hair is too short and she is annoying and they werent compatible". He also flirts with me by saying stuff like "what did you think i would do with you?" "were you tryin to get me alone?!?" and "i want u to put it in my butt". I have also seen him looking at my but with a smile, (he didnt see that i saw him), and he also when he didnt know i saw him, he was staring at me longingly for like 5 seconds, and when he noticed, he almost like shook himself out of a daze. he will blatantly say stuff like "meagan fox is so hott!! I kept staring at her lips" he also will say if you ask him why he wont hook up with girls "im not that kind of guy!" and "i need to be dating for a month before i will even kiss". I have seen him looking at me longingly and i have also seen him looking at my butt. once he bent over (too far i guess haha) and he stood up really quick and said "im glad no one came up behind me and said 'im gonna give it to u good'!!! also, he looks at hot guys and if u catch him he will say something like "hes to tall to play baseball!!" also, he said i needed to have my sideburns reshaped. a friend heard this and said "so you can look better for him? ". he also has commented about my eyes "i bet your green eyes save u" and "are your eyes turqoise?" a friend overheard this and said "i dont wanna hear about how pretty u think his eyes are" and he said "i dont personally think his eyes are pretty!!!" good saves haha. he cites religious reasons and no sex before marriage as to why he wont take it farther with girls. also when he sees me he will be like "hey young lady! or there she is!" one time we had to lift something onto a wall at school and when he was lining up the slots he kept grinding his head into my chest and standing pushing against me.the guy i was talking about asked me to a movie, and acted all standoffish and weird. totally cut off all contact with me like he does with his "dates". he gave me the sensual "finger at the side of the mouth" look while he turned around with his back to me while i could see his butt. he also wont bend over "i dont bend down that far! i'd get it good!" (anal sex)also, he would always come and talk to me on his way out. laugh at all of my jokes, smile and say "see ya!" he even said "sweet! so i do get to see you later!"

 

[refujiunderground]

sir, how old are you?

 

[nachocheez]

i am 22 and in school right now

 

[G-Lexington]

I'll invoke Lube's Law.

If you think he's gay, he's gay.
If you think he's interested, he's interested.

Lex

 

[bw92116]

He's gay, and not hiding it very well. I don't like him teasing you like that.
He's too old to be playing grade-school games. Get away from him. Completely.
Don't see him or talk to him any more. Find someone to have a real relationship with.

 

[nachocheez]

"were you trying to get me alone?!" ect are things that straight guys NEVER say to eachother. and the way he said it too. in a playful, laughy manner. i also called him "bruno" and he laughed. I would have liked to have a relationship with him, but if he wants to suffer he can suffer. also, do straight guys look longingly at eachother, and smile when they are looking at another guys butt, when they dont know the other guy noticed? He said "i am as straight as an arrow! an arrow i got shot in the knee cap with!" and via text he sent me "you're straight as a rainbow too i bet"

 

[Ganoderma]

hi nachocheez,

So does this guy knows that you are gay? So what would you like to do with him?

I tend to think that you should also start to flirt with him, and see how he is reacting. It seems to me ('a 10 on the looks scale') that he has a lot of features you can use for flirting (his sweet eyes, or whatever).

Do you have common interests? Why not invite him for a drink / drinking coffee and start talking with him in a more private surrounding?

Lex gave you a good advice as well.

Take care & good luck & please keep us informed.

 

[nachocheez]

he also said "you're gonna get it good pretty boy!" and when he handed me a pen he said "you are gonna take it and you are gonna like it!" he said the "take it and like it" thing twice in different contexts. He does not know i am gay. but he presses me hard for answers about my sexuality. "i thought you put out!" is something he said. when i do flirt with hi, hes either receptive and laughs, or he will say "eww!"" and stuff like that. a girl also noticed how he acts towards me and she said "holy cow! i have never seen him act like that!" then she started calling him my "boo" and "boyfriend". Also, she told me that her and another girl were having a conversation, and he overheard the word "boyfriend" and he was like "are you talking about me?!?!" she said he meant talking about "his boyfriend". also, something was written on a computer and he said "did your boyfriend do this?!?" and he said i should put my hands in his pockets to get my keys (someone heard this and said "so you are gay then?" and that i should press my face up against his to compare features.

 

[Ganoderma]

and via text he sent me "you're straight as a rainbow too i bet"

OK, so you send him a text like 'I like rainbows very much, and rainbows are not straight'

 

[nachocheez]

when he said "my butt cheeks are so tight" i said "really!?!" in an excited way and he laughed and was receptive to it. if i brush up against him he doesnt move. i even touched my arms to his and he didnt move at all. one thing he has been doing lately is looking at my mouth when i talk to him. i sent him a text and said "why are you flirting with me seriously" and he didnt give me a straight answer he said "i deleted that because my parents read my texts dont worry about it bro". he also "serenaded" me, and told a girl that i was blushing while he was "serenading me"

 

[nachocheez]

well he says he is straight. and if he is, i am getting bullied. he will say stuff to me like "do you know how many girls i pick up?". also. i have presented myself as straight which means i fucked up i guess. he wont answer my texts anymore and threatened to block me.

 

[nachocheez]

he said "my lipstick tasted fruity! but it improves circulation!" he also likes cute things like super mario keychains and cookie monster dolls. His friend told me "he would kill me if i told you what he plays" he plays girl games on his DS!

 

[Ganoderma]

i have presented myself as straight which means i fucked up i guess.

Apparently, this does not work (anymore) and he (and maybe all of your other classmates as well) are aware that you are Gay. So no need anymore to hide that you prefer guys. Hey man, what do you think of all the girls in your class. They will also see and listen what's going on over there, and they will draw conclusions. You don't flirt with girls (etc.). Why?

So you can do what you want (=denying that you are Gay), but he (and your classmates) simply don't agree with what you tell them.

Do you really think that you will bet bullied / shunned when you stop hiding/lying? Where do you live? You are 22, and its now 2012. Are there other gay guys in your class?

 

[nachocheez]

i dont like the way he is denying stuff and ignoring me. i bet if i played my cards right i could have hit that but i have a feeling i blew it.

 

[nachocheez]

also we went to launch, he paid, and he couldnt look me in the eye during our lunchtime conversation, and was being all nervous and standoffish. maybe hes a closeted gay guy that doesnt know how to be in a relationship

 

[bw92116]

Next time he says anything, say to him, "Come spend the night with me tonight and we'll settle this like real men." And say nothing else.

 

[vulgar_newcomer]

Come out and find a nice loving openly gay boy.

True words.
Do not waste time wondering what if,
You are 22 move away, don't waste your valuable days in youth wondering what if. By the time what if looks you in the face and you will say why did I waste my time on games? What if is gone now, and here I am and he on his facebook he is married with 2 kids who are near college age.
You can still play those games but make yourself unavailable to others bloating their egos by turning you on and off, and man well knowing it. Let them discover who they are and maybe when you aren't so wanting he will want you.

 

[nachocheez]

he said "what did you think i would do with you over there?" in a sexual way when we were talking about "going over there" to do something. a friend said "try not to rape eachother" to us and he said "i dont know my back kind of hurts"

 

[Kyanimal]

Yep! Dude wants to Play with You!

Butt, since he's still Insisting on staying in his 'comfortable' closet, You could actually become a threat to him!

You're tempting to his "hidden" side. And, depending on how determined he is to remain "hidden", he might eventually lash out to "protect" himself.

As appealing as HE may be, be Very Leery of this Guy! He doesn't sound to be all that stable with himself, and is likely skating on thin ice!

It is HIS problem, NOT Yours!

If I were you, I'd steer as clear of him as I could.

 

[italy123]

mind fucks to me; done trying to answer that question lol.