Is there hope for ugly guys?

[Adhesion]

I've come to learn that you just have to accept yourself. Is that confidence? Kind of. But if you can't accept yourself, you can't expect others to accept you either.

For me, I can be incredibly self-conscious and hard on myself. And being single and never having been in a relationship just makes it ten-times worse. I've been told that I have a cute face and great eyes--but, I'm fat, so most people stop looking there. I've gotten to the point where I've decided that beating myself up over it does nothing but to make me feel worse, and I'm tired of feeling like shit.

So, I put together a plan and am trying to change myself--not for others, but for me. Yes, it's going to take a while. Yes, I'll probably be single the entire time. Does that make me sad? Sure, but if someone doesn't want to get to know me because of the way I look then I probably didn't want to know them either.

Look at yourself in the mirror and smile. As someone said above, there is always someone else who is worse off than you. You are who you are. Embrace it.

 

[Deandbn]

I feel ugly because I'm half asian. Which I know is completely ridiculous. I love my ethnicity but sometimes I wish I was just one or the other. It makes me sad to actually be saying this, but it's true for the most part. Just got to love who I am I suppose.

I must admit i did look at the replys further down this thread before answering this reply but i am still going to say what i was going to say even though you seem to fit the bill coz here you say you are half asian and further on you let on that you are half Japanese.

Here goes:

A couple of years ago i was on a tube train in London and this guy got on at a station and 'oh my fuck' was he gorgeous, he was tall and lithe and had this most beautiful dusky skin and (as you put it) almond eyes with dark hair. I also still remember what he was wearing: a thick cable pattern round neck cream coloured jersey with black jeans and sneakers.

And yes you guessed it: he was half caucasian and half japanese. I had never seen a person like that before. He was so beautiful and i could not take my eyes off him and i just wanted to touch the skin on his face coz it was so dusky and silky.

Youre probably just like him and twice as cute.

 

[bankside]

Well, is there?

I'm tired of people saying "just be confident in yourself." You can have all the confidence in the world but that won't change the way your face/body looks.

What's your input?

Dunno. Would you date an ugly guy?

BTW, if you are going for so-called "average" guys, I guarantee you that there is a paris runway model out there who noticed you walking past one day and thought to himself "Shit. That guy would never go out with me. Won't even bother introducing myself. Why does everyone think I'm just a prettyboy flake? Why is life so unfair???"

It's going to suck for both of you, because fate likes to kick people in the balls like that.

So broaden your horizons. Let people appreciate you. Don't argue with them when they find you attractive. Who knows, maybe he's insane or just simple, but it is not your business to question it. And know that your own self-confidence doesn't come from your boyfriend's looks.

Oh, one last thing, I'm dating an ugly guy. I think he's hot, smart, handsome, suave, hung, tall, broad, kind and wonderful. Oh, and he can sing jazz even though I can barely get him to, and he never would in a million years do it publicly. But I'm sure each of those things is far far away from what one friend of mine or another would find attractive, so yeah, every night I'm with somebody else's ugly guy.

 

[altlover85]

There's a lot less than 6 billion eligible gay guys out there.

 

[GamerBear]

Yeah there is hope for ugly guys. A lot of people consider me ugly been told on many occasions that I am not that good looking. But at the end of the night I consider myself to have a great personality if assholes are going to base my appearance on friendship or relationships they can go to hell and go find the next handsome good looking asshole who will most likely turn them down.

I've already been in a relationship for three years now, my first boyfriend dumped me for a better looking guy than me and the current boyfriend I have now doesn't even care about my appearance. If you can find happiness then that's all you need, you don't need to try to change your appearance to make other people accept you for who you are.

I'm pretty chubby and fat not many guys in the gay community find that attractive or even appealing but if a person can over see the looks and imperfections then you will find a real keeper.

 

[Nomenclature]

My mom is Japanese and my dad is Irish, German, and Dutch. I basically look like my mom, dark hair, brown almond shaped eyes. My dad has blonde hair and blue eyes. I really only sound like him.

Nothing about that sounds unattractive. You may not want to, but I encourage you to post a pic.

 

[Adhesion]

This is what I wnat to do too, but I always get lazy. That's probably my problem.


I'm gonna do this.

You definitely can't be lazy about it, you have to commit to change. It's hard, and not always pleasant, but in the end you'll enjoy it more.

And yes, do it. Look in the mirror and smile at yourself. YOU'RE AWESOME. Don't think otherwise.

 

[youngnihilist]

Your physical description sounds hot. Ugly is a state of mind. And in your case, it doesn't even sound like there's objective physical evidence to back up being ugly.

 

[smashingbumpkin]

Don't beat yourself up mister, it'll take some time to get in a more comfortable area self esteem wise. Just know there are guys out there who would love to tap that.

You're fab the way you are. But if you can make improvements (which is subjective) then go all out.
Hit the gym or something lol. Find out what makes you special and different/more interesting from the other guys out there.

 

[Georgiadude]

I wasn't going to reply to this thread but changed my mind. Hope what I have to say helps.

I am an average guy. 43 5' 7" 150. Mostly bald, bit of a tummy, bit of a big nose and glasses. To be honest I don't think I'm all that attractive. Will admit that at times I've thought I was ugly. I couldn't tell you how many times I've heard "not my type." It really does wonders for ones self esteem. Having said all of those "bad" things about myself I've dated an A/F model and my current bf. is SMOKING HOT. The model was 22 6' 2" 165'ish He was gorgeous. We dated for about 6 months and just kind of drifted apart. He modeled for A/F and Paris Hilton. My current bf is 19 5' 11" 145 and is as beautiful a man as I've ever seen. He's from Brazil and has amazing skin. He's the sweetest person I have ever met.

I'm not saying this to brag. My point is if someone like me can date a model and a super hot Brazilian ANYONE can find someone. They didn't date me for my money. I don't have any. I'm broke. I'm not a powerful person. I'm not an actor or a politician. I'm the most average guy in the world. If I walk into a room nobody turns their head to notice me. I drive a Honda Fit. Get it. I'm average. Nothing special.

My "secret": I'm one of the nicest guys in the world. I love to laugh and be silly. I like to talk and ask questions. I find something to talk about and am not afraid to talk to anyone. I can be a bit shy in the beginning but I try not to let it get in the way. I don't let the fact that someone is better looking than me intimidate me. They are a person.....just like me. They get up in the morning and go about their lives the same as everyone else. Of course I've ran into jerks that think they are God's gift to mankind. Big deal. I walk away from them and actually feel sorry for them. Some day they will realize they aren't any better than anyone else. I treat everyone the same. I don't care who you are. Nobody is better than anyone else.

My advice to you. Stop looking in the mirror. It's not going to change anything. You are who you are. Keep yourself groomed and presentable. Practice meeting people and finding something in common to talk about. Compliment them on their shirt. Ask where they bought it. Anything to break the ice. Smile. Most people love to see someone smile at them. Give a firm handshake and introduce yourself. Meet friends of friends. Don't get discouraged if you run into a jerk. Give em a smile and walk away. They don't deserve to be your friend. Don't be afraid to talk to anyone. You never know where it will lead.

Hope that helps.

Steven.

 

[bangjones]

Being a nice guy never works. I am a fat fuck that hates himself so much I can't express it in words. I know that "love" does not exist for me. I will never have anyone that desires me. So I pay for what I want with both men and women. I have something people want (money) they have something I want(ass,Pussy,Cock) we make a trade. No Worries everyone gets what they want. No such thing as feelings.

 

[bangjones]

I feel that "pretty People" are better then me and my presence around them is offensive and degrading to them so I avoid those situations as much as possible.

 

[bangjones]

please don't hate yourself.

Hate is the most powerful thing on this planet. I embrace HATE.

 

[hackingnomberr]

I feel ugly because I'm half asian. Which I know is completely ridiculous. I love my ethnicity but sometimes I wish I was just one or the other. It makes me sad to actually be saying this, but it's true for the most part. Just got to love who I am I suppose.

Half asian guys are deff the hottest. ;]

 

[Adhesion]

I feel that "pretty People" are better then me and my presence around them is offensive and degrading to them so I avoid those situations as much as possible.

Wow... and I thought I was filled with self-loathing.

I've been going to a club for the past two weeks, and yes, there are catty bitches who probably do find me offensive for being there. But there also have been some cute guys who strike up a conversation. Hell, the past couple nights, I've had guys flirting with me and grinding / dancing all over me.

A good part of it is mental--sure, you may be fat, but you can't go into social settings thinking people are better than you and you offend them. Then you really will because your attitude will be gloomy and they'll think you're being all emo.

 

[Nomenclature]

My "secret": I'm one of the nicest guys in the world. I love to laugh and be silly. I like to talk and ask questions.

THIS.


If anything will help you hit it off with people, it'll be this.

 

[bangjones]

Y'all take this to seriously. Emotions are bullshit. I treat everything in life as business. You have something I want, I have something you want. We trade. Period. There is nothing more pure on this earth then a business transaction.

 

[Lewis1]

first off, you might not be as ugly as you think you are. check your self-perception. also, what you find unattractive (e.g. overweight, age) might very well read as very attractive to some others. but im gonna assume, for the sake of the discussion, that you really are somewhat unattractive.

being confident, feeling comfortable in your own skin, being an interesting person, having a sense of humor, being talented (music, arts, poetry, anything), being well-read, being a good lover, dressing well, having a good haircut... all those things really do help. and your body shape, you can change.

but youre also right when you say that those things only take you that far. some people are just less attractive. i think you should adjust your expectations accordingly. unless youre super-rich, youre just not going to marry a ck-model if you look like a pancake.


lastly, you say that you dont actually find yourself that ugly, you just have problems attracting other men. are you sure its your looks? it might be something else about you that puts people off.

lol its kind of funny that you need all of that to compensate meanwhile

the suave good looking instantly gets a pass on all of that

 

[Lewis1]

I can understand. I get called ugly everytime someone is mad at me or disagrees with my opinions (which was what they were thinking all along)

I dont think Im ugly but dont have anything that really makes me stand out as good looking.

I think body image overshadows looks. I always see people go crazy over a guy with a tight body but very average looks. ( or a big penis)

But the truth is Good Looks open the doors alot easier and thats just the reality

good looks is what will make a guy or girl come over & flirt with you then comes the other stuff

People always talk that ' get to know the person' &' know the inside first'
which is very valid because knowing the person can alter how u see them

which also brings me to my next point.

Most ppul assume everyone is ugly until proven otherwise

You see it in movies all the time and I have witnessed it time & time agin

a guy or girl interested in someone else

their gf's say OOOOh hes cute
or man shes hot

as if its rare to see a cute or hot person so

neway

There is always someone out there who will appreciate you with all our flaws
but its frustrating finding them

among the gay scene ugly guys have it bad

 

[seven2go]

If one needed to be "HOT" in order to find a partner at least 95% of the world population would still be single.......