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    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

It's Done.....I've come out!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Zondal2001
  • Start date Start date
There's something so liberating about just being oneself. Not just in this aspect, but every aspect. Enjoy being you. :)

Lex
 
no doubt man. grats on making this bold step, been there and my folks are cool with it. its what makes me happy and can't imagine being anything else. props to you and yep we are all here for ya. ;)
 
Congratulations. You should soon be the envy of your family as they realize that you are fabulously special. Show them lots of love and generosity and they'll soon love your boyfriends more than they ever loved you.....and what a relief for them as well. For years they've been wondering about you...at least now they know you aren't asexual.
 
Many thanks for your kind comments and support everyone, I am sorry for the late reply but there wasn't anything to update you on. I am really feeling good about myself and I wish I had made the decision to come out earlier, that was a big mistake on my part. I had a visit from my Mum, sadly she would not come in and the conversation all took place in the hallway. Basically she wanted to know if I was really Bi rather than Gay, what with having been tied to a girl at one point. I replied no, that was a "phase" this is the real me, I am Gay. She then left.

Since then I have received two phone calls from my Dad to see how I was, but neither of them came around for their weekly weekend visit. I guess they still need some space??? I am not surprised by what is happening, in fact I have always expected far worse, but at the end of the day I am being true to myself.

averageguy said:
These are some common week-after-the-bomb questions that sometimes come up. (My partner's father came up with: "So, tell me, what does it feel like to have a dick up your butt?" I kid you not. He was prepared for almost anything, other than that one. LOL)
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:eek: I would be at a total loss for words if asked that!!! !oops! !oops! !oops!

averageguy said:
A piece of advice--don't let them low-key this forever; don't let it become the 500-lb gorilla in the living room that everyone ignores and pretends isn't there.
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Sadly averageman there is one of those already charging around the living room, it's called sexual abuse. They ignore it and cannot accept that it happened to me.

averageguy said:
Good luck and congratulations again. I'm glad you feel so good about having done this.
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Thank you for your advice and support. It's the best I have ever felt inside.

GL247 said:
That's great! I'm glad to hear you're adjusting pretty well. :)
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Thanks, it's getting better by the day, now I just have to find somebody.

wilehart1978 said:
You knew at six???[/I]
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Oh, yes! Even then I knew I liked boys better than girls.

Xpione said:
They are going through a a phase of greif after they heard what you said. Wait for awhile, they'll be mroe acceptance of you, I hope. I'm glad you came out. Be who you are, one day, you'll find someone for you.
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G-Lexington said:
There's something so liberating about just being oneself. Not just in this aspect, but every aspect. Enjoy being you. :)

Lex
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phoenix72 said:
no doubt man. grats on making this bold step, been there and my folks are cool with it. its what makes me happy and can't imagine being anything else. props to you and yep we are all here for ya. ;)
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rareboy said:
Congratulations. You should soon be the envy of your family as they realize that you are fabulously special. Show them lots of love and generosity and they'll soon love your boyfriends more than they ever loved you.....and what a relief for them as well. For years they've been wondering about you...at least now they know you aren't asexual.
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Thanks for these supportive comments Guys and I hope that my folks will eventually come around to accepting me for who I am. It would be excellent it they could also accept a boyfriend in the future too.


Many thanks again

(*8*) & :kiss:

Rob
 
I'm glad you are feeling better about yourself. Its nice to be at peace like tht, huh?

Sorry about how hard your parents are taking it. I hope it gets better. I'm glad your dad is calling.

(*8*)
 
Riverrick said:
I'm glad you are feeling better about yourself. Its nice to be at peace like tht, huh?

Sorry about how hard your parents are taking it. I hope it gets better. I'm glad your dad is calling.

(*8*)
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Thanks Riverrick. It's the best I have felt in myself for a while and I am glad that I took that step. I am surprised that it's my Dad that has been phoning me as I thought he would have been the one to have taken the news the hardest???

Only time will tell and I hope that it all pans out for the best.

Many thanks again.


(*8*)
 
>>>It would be excellent it they could also accept a boyfriend in the future too.

Boyfriends are hard for parents to take in the abstract. They may expect the worst, whatever the heck that might be in their brain (a light-in-the-loafers lisper? A huge hairy biker?). But they tend to be more accepting of them in the flesh, once they're presented with a real, flesh-and-blood human being who shares at least one trait with them - they love you. :)

That's been my experience, anyway.

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
Boyfriends are hard for parents to take in the abstract. They may expect the worst, whatever the heck that might be in their brain (a light-in-the-loafers lisper? A huge hairy biker?). But they tend to be more accepting of them in the flesh, once they're presented with a real, flesh-and-blood human being who shares at least one trait with them - they love you. :)

That's been my experience, anyway.

Lex
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Thank you for the advice Lex and so beautifully put. :)
 
Just remember that the most important thing is for you to be happy.

Your family witll hopefully come around. It is a major adjustment for them to process and accept and you just have to give them time. While their reaction was hard, they most likely would have had some reaction if you were straight and spent the night with a girl. Sometimes, parents can not accept when their children grow up and begin living adult lives.

Just remember that we are all here for you and ready to help.
 
muscleboy82000 said:
Your family witll hopefully come around. It is a major adjustment for them to process and accept and you just have to give them time. While their reaction was hard, they most likely would have had some reaction if you were straight and spent the night with a girl. Sometimes, parents can not accept when their children grow up and begin living adult lives.
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I hope that they will come around to it. They have gone away for a long weekend, it wasrather sudden and I think it was my news that has brought it about. I also think they have gone to tell my sister, but am not sure??? What ever, they will just have toget used to it. During my denial phase I took a Girlfirend around to meet them, and they wasn't even keen on her #-o

muscleboy82000 said:
Just remember that we are all here for you and ready to help.
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That's very kind, thank you. (*8*)

Well, I am sat here getting slowly drunk and I raise a glass to you all. Thanks for being here :)
 
Do you live with your parents? I guess it doesn't matter much but if you do, it may be a little weird around them for a bit...but eventually, things DO fall into place. If you're out on your own then you don't have to worry about that.

But anyway, good job...I'm happy to see that you are "free". ^_^
 
gameboy 11 said:
Do you live with your parents? I guess it doesn't matter much but if you do, it may be a little weird around them for a bit...but eventually, things DO fall into place. If you're out on your own then you don't have to worry about that.

But anyway, good job...I'm happy to see that you are "free". ^_^
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Nah, I rent rooms and have a lovely landlady. My folks live three blocks away.

Thanks for your support,

Cheers
(UU)
 
I’ve worked in the gay community for several years in a support capacity. What I’ve learned over the years is that most parents (not all, but most) just want their children to be happy. Many of the negative reactions have to do with fears about the life their children will lead. PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays - http://pflag.org/) can provide support and resources on coming out and dealing with parents.

I encourage everyone to be out. I believe it is not possible to lead a happy and mentally healthy life unless it is a whole life rather than a segmented one. However, I advise caution to young people who are financially dependent on their parents. I’ve worked with too many young people who have been thrown out of their homes. Most parents do come around but in the meantime the children suffer significant damage, parents end up with many regrets and the children with much resentment.
 
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."
 
A quick update..........

My parents came around this morning. It's the first time since I came out to them, and I braced myself for the worst! Well, it never happened as they carried on towards me as though nothing had changed, but here the astonishing bit, they accept me for what I am. OMY you could have knocked me over with a feather.:eek:

There was no Catholic thoughts on Homosexuals, no talk of wanting the parish preist to talk to me, nothing. They said I am still their Son, they will never stop loving me and they accept I am Gay. They also added they thought they knew all along and that it was 'phase' that would pass, that's why they they sent me to the preist and the shrink at such an early age in the hope of breaking homosexual inclinations. They just want me to be happy, but they did say that they would find it difficult if I was to introduce them to "one of your friends".

I feel a little "punch drunk" at the moment but I am also thrilled that they have accepted me. :)
 
That's great news. Thanks for sharing it with us!

It sounds like they finally accepted that it has been coming for a long time and that there is no point in fighting it any more. As for your friends, give it time. My parents softened up about that after they got used to me being gay.
 
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