Just got disowned by my parents

[sixthson]

So, she knew you were a couple, but not about the civil union? Is communication with them generally poor?

Many of us have family that cut us out of their lives and while it is painful, it can cause you and your partner to draw closer to each other. If this is mother drama, it will likely pass.

 

[zombiekiller]

So, she knew you were a couple, but not about the civil union? Is communication with them generally poor?

Many of us have family that cut us out of their lives and while it is painful, it can cause you and your partner to draw closer to each other. If this is mother drama, it will likely pass.

I think she knew we were a couple. Why else would there be another dude living with me and go on every vacation I've gone on in the last 4 years?

This really is over the top drama. But it's my mom. She had caused over the top drama in the past about other things with me and my siblings. For example, when my sister was going to marry a white guy, boy was there drama in the family.

 

[Tucsam]

Dear Zombiekiller, I would hug you if I could, but instead.....here is my take for what it is worth. Sounds like you are a good person in a relationship with a good man with a level perspective on the world.

Your mother, on the other hand, sounds petty and maybe a little nuts.

I would tell inquiring relatives that yes, you are gay, you have been in a loving relationship for X number of years, and that your mother found out and went off the deep end. (If you are upfront about your sexuality, it deprives your mother of power in this area).

And maybe change the locks on your place. Sounds like mom has boundary issues.

This must be painful and confusing for you, but, as others have said, it’s all on her!

 

[guyfromNY]

I'm so sorry for the troubles you are having. You know, being the spiteful type, I might do something along the lines of the following. Print out thousands of flyers and put them under windshields and in mailboxes of every single person in a 10 block radius of your parents homes (not to mention at their church). The papers could say something like "Mr and Mrs. So and So now have a gay son who is happily married to a man"..

I know this sounds childish and stupid, but if there is one thing that would get under the skin of religious people, it would be this...

 

[zombiekiller]

Dear Zombiekiller, I would hug you if I could, but instead.....here is my take for what it is worth. Sounds like you are a good person in a relationship with a good man with a level perspective on the world.

Your mother, on the other hand, sounds petty and maybe a little nuts.

I would tell inquiring relatives that yes, you are gay, you have been in a loving relationship for X number of years, and that your mother found out and went off the deep end. (If you are upfront about your sexuality, it deprives your mother of power in this area).

And maybe change the locks on your place. Sounds like mom has boundary issues.

This must be painful and confusing for you, but, as others have said, it’s all on her!

Relatives already know. Whenever they invite me to something, they also invite him. We only recently stopped going to events because my mom found out about us going to relatives events and told me to stop going.

It's really is not a secret in our family.

 

[star-warrior]

Unfortunately, we can't choose our parents or siblings. When mothers start meddling in their children's personal lives, especially if their children are adults and can make their own decisions are just asking for a lot of woe, and the funny thing is, they will blame it all on their kids even though they chose to interfere as they do.

As you've said, there really is nothing you can do right now, except make the best of things, and allow everything to run it's course. If your close family and friends are supportive you'll see that support for you in the coming days. If they shun you, that's their loss. You go on and be as successful and happy as you and your partner can be.

Personally, I'd change all the locks to your house and add extra security too, in case she decides to return to snoop again.

WRT to her lawyer, she may even prevent you from visiting her, barring you from her neighbourhood, or preventing you from having a say in her elderly care, or decisions if she becomes incapacitated, ill, dying or when she has died and the inheritance issue. Even so much as to prevent you from attending her funeral.

 

[Kabluey]

Relatives already know. Whenever they invite me to something, they also invite him. We only recently stopped going to events because my mom found out about us going to relatives events and told me to stop going.

It's really is not a secret in our family.

Since when was your mum queen bee?
Fuck, those relatives can choose to invite you two over her if she insists on being such a vinegar tits over it.

 

[seven2go]

Being a "devout <name your denomination> has little to do with being a devout Christian.
Your Mom has SOOOOOOO much to learn.......

 

[Telstra]

Disowned her instead.
Problem solved.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

defo disowns ons fulls moon a midnight wit lightin ats altar wit two wamlart manquieneeys
-dude a photo a moment a
_you a disoooooooooowwwwwnurds>boomin voices a high_
flashins wites aans stuff
"sponsar furnitures ans stuff point at"

put Y tube

ans stuff

tinku

 

[mikey3000]

So sorry to hear this. As someone who has been down this exact road, it's best to shut her out of your life, but don't lock the door. Maybe she'll realize her mistake one day, but protect your property and your life from her prying hands. Believe me, no good will come from it.

 

[Mariatenebre]

Fuck the bitch you don't need her in your life. Also she has no right to say that you can't go to events that your relatives invite you and your fiancé to. I would tell the bitch to go fuck herself and that you will go where you please.

 

[FPNY]

Hopefully your relatives will tell her she is out of line. It would be great if they start inviting you guys instead of her. I hope your family stays as supportive as possible. Mine did and it made my separation from my mother a lot easier.

 

[zombiekiller]

Fuck the bitch you don't need her in your life. Also she has no right to say that you can't go to events that your relatives invite you and your fiancé to. I would tell the bitch to go fuck herself and that you will go where you please.

Hey, easy there, man. She's still my mom.

 

[MatttheBruinsfan]

I would advise taking up relatives on invites from now on, though. If they're supportive and she's loudly unreasonable about having you at family events she'll probably find her own invitations getting lost in the mail. Nothing like a little social ostracism from their peers to help bigots see the light, and why should you separate yourself from people you care about on her say so?

 

[Benvolio]

She probably believes her disowning you you will cause you to change. Any attempts by you at reconciliation will seem to her that her strategy is working and you will come around. So I suggest that you live your life and do not make any approaches to her directly or through your relatives. Her church is slowly changing and perhaps she will eventually.

 

[zoltanspawn]

Maybe it's time to go all out on a giant gay wedding?

 

[Cormac135]

And advice would that be?

 

[zombiekiller]

I would advise taking up relatives on invites from now on, though. If they're supportive and she's loudly unreasonable about having you at family events she'll probably find her own invitations getting lost in the mail. Nothing like a little social ostracism from their peers to help bigots see the light, and why should you separate yourself from people you care about on her say so?

No, I am not going to war with my folks.

- - - Updated - - -

Interesting. I take it you think I made this up?

 

[zombiekiller]

Maybe it's time to go all out on a giant gay wedding?

Um, no. Sounds expensive lol.