Just got disowned by my parents

[sixthson]

I'm not clear, either - WHY and HOW was she in your stuff (with you being an adult) and snooping around? I mean, don't you live in a separate place with your guy? Does that also mean that she snooped through all his stuff as well?

I find that even more unforgivable than disowning you. It's such an invasion of privacy, I think of it tantamount to rape.

She's an Asian Mama.

 

[Rex]

Guessing Asian or middle eastern.

 

[Mariatenebre]

Haha, the answer is still no.

Then you will be offered up as the sacrifice and devoured by your mother. She will do her best to harm you and keep you from the family members who love you. If you wanna embrace that turn the other cheek shit that is on you but it will destroy you.

Yes, and I'll be there.

I am not going to be bitter about this. My folks are ever unchanging. I accepted this a long time ago. They can't help feeling this way.

Of course they can help feeling this way. If they really loved you they would accept you for who you are. The fact that they don't shows that they have no love for you and you will be ever the fool if you return love to her. In no part of nature other then humans do creatures love their enemies. If they do they are destroyed.

loool you motha fuckin cold hearted

Actually I am very warm hearted. However I don't give out my love to those that do not deserve it or who do not have my best interest at heart. I do not love people who declare themselves my enemy. That is some Christian bullshit that even the god of Christianity himself did not practice. He was always smiting people or threatening to smite people who he didn't like. Even for silly shit. I am a wolf not a sheep.

 

[nycguydowntown]

You are way too chummy with your Mom ---she should never been allowed to go thru your stuff. I think when you grow up ---you need to make an adjustment with parents and sibs and have boundaries. She Sounds like my best friends Mom---she'll probably come around and you probably believe this too.

 

[Rex]

Yeah there is no way I'd let one of my parents just randomly go through my shit or have access to get inside my home without my knowledge. That is some psycho shit.

 

[sixthson]

Yeah there is no way I'd let one of my parents just randomly go through my shit or have access to get inside my home without my knowledge. That is some psycho shit.

What are you hiding?

 

[luckynumbah7]

What are you hiding?

A box of adult toys and/or some porn?

 

[Rex]

A box of adult toys and/or some porn?

Both. Well… not a box jus a flesh light and a dildo

 

[Aron9000]

Your mom who disowned you. She forfeited all rights to respect and love when she disowned you. She deserves your hate. I mean I hate many people in my family including my father.

Also you should go to war with your parents. I would utterly demolish them with vengeance. You should go to these family events with people who are supportive. They want you there and not going means that she is winning to separate you from your family. You should embrace your hatred of her. Trust me you will feel much better by being petty and vindictive it has always served me well. Hatred is one of my favorite emotions. You can't have love without hatred.

Good, Good, let the hatred flow through you, it will make you stronger . . . .

Seriously you kind of sound like that guy. But then again, if your parents love is conditional, who really is the bad guy if you go to war with them???

There is another approach, just cut people like your mom out of your life entirely. Instead of constantly being petty and bickering with them as suggested above, just quit talking to them entirely, ignore them and act like they don't exist. This might be painful for the first few months, but time heals all wounds IMO. Maybe one day your mother will see she was wrong and reconnect with you, if not well then she can die old, alone, and bitter that her son completely rejected her. Really I think this more about her still having control and influence over you more than anything.

 

[Tucsam]

I couple of stray thoughts and then I’ll go to sleep. Your mother, in a backass way, has given you a gift. You say that she says you are no longer her son. Apparently in your culture it is common for parents to go through their adult children’s belongings. Fine, now you don’t have to let her in your house at all (and I would seriously call a locksmith). You say you stopped going to family events because she told you to. Fine, you can now go to any and all events and keep the relationships with your other family members going strong. It sounds to me that you have been courteous and respectful towards her and she is now throwing all that away. As another writer said living well is the best revenge. Live your life with love and dignity, that’s the best any of us can do.

And remember there is a small army of men at JUB who are on your side.

 

[zombiekiller]

I couple of stray thoughts and then I’ll go to sleep. Your mother, in a backass way, has given you a gift. You say that she says you are no longer her son. Apparently in your culture it is common for parents to go through their adult children’s belongings. Fine, now you don’t have to let her in your house at all (and I would seriously call a locksmith). You say you stopped going to family events because she told you to. Fine, you can now go to any and all events and keep the relationships with your other family members going strong. It sounds to me that you have been courteous and respectful towards her and she is now throwing all that away. As another writer said living well is the best revenge. Live your life with love and dignity, that’s the best any of us can do.

And remember there is a small army of men at JUB who are on your side.

No offense, but I've always viewed you guys as bots.

Case in point. Suppose I lose my job and ends up under a bridge. You get the idea.

 

[JerryPic]

No offense, but I've always viewed you guys as bots.

Case in point. Suppose I lose my job and ends up under a bridge. You get the idea.

So you put up with your mother because of money?

 

[rareboy]

Well, I'm a little down. The logical side of me (I might add that it's a very dominant force within me) tells me there really is nothing I can do now except to let it play out. I know my parents very well. I dare say I know them more than they know themselves. There really is no point in trying to talk any logic to them. They are ever unchanging in their ways. So, constantly feeling down about this really doesn't do anything except add stress into my life.

Exactly.

They will either come around or they won't.

 

[johaninsc]

No offense, but I've always viewed you guys as bots.

Case in point. Suppose I lose my job and ends up under a bridge. You get the idea.

you call us bots?

would you mind explaining that a bit more?

quite a few people here, over the last few years, have taken the time to read and respond to your posts at great length and with a lot of thought...some have given kind words, good advice, and encouragement

"no offense" doesn't exactly take the sting out of it

 

[tarallucci]

It's never easy when the person who made you is so disrespectful. At some point I realized I had to educate my parents when it should have been the opposite, but I'm just not capable and they're too old to learn. I don't think your mother will change either. It takes a lot of patience. Understand this is a flaw of her and don't let it put you down nor ruin your future.

She's an Asian Mama.

Guessing Asian or middle eastern.

Or Italian

 

[Benvolio]

Opposition to gays stems from the misguided belief that gays are really like straights who for some mysterious reason choose to prefer sex with men. It did not help that in the early days of the gay movement, gays used phrases like alternative life style and sexual preference. When you talk to parents and others it is critical to emphasize that gays do not, and you did not, choose to be gay and cannot choose not to be gay.

 

[zombiekiller]

you call us bots?

would you mind explaining that a bit more?

quite a few people here, over the last few years, have taken the time to read and respond to your posts at great length and with a lot of thought...some have given kind words, good advice, and encouragement

"no offense" doesn't exactly take the sting out of it

I think some people invest too much on online friends and whatnot. It's like having an online boyfriend.

Like I said, if I lose my job, lose my house, and end up under a bridge, what are the chances of someone here taking me in until I get back on my feet?

It's fun to post online at times, but at the end of the day we all must realize that no one should ever bank on getting help from online personalities.

Again, no offense intended.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

Opposition to gays stems from the misguided belief that gays are really like straights who for some mysterious reason choose to prefer sex with men. It did not help that in the early days of the gay movement, gays used phrases like alternative life style and sexual preference. When you talk to parents and others it is critical to emphasize that gays do not, and you did not, choose to be gay and cannot choose not to be gay.

wot?

anyway

tinku

 

[rareboy]

Think of the money you'll save on Christmas gifts they don't like anyway?

 

[MakeDigitalLove]

Think of the money you'll save on Christmas gifts they don't like anyway?

One of the better ways to think about it honestly.