OK, so here is the story from start to now.
And let me tell you, the guy is not straight. He's definitely gay or interested in men, and I'd even say interested in ME. I just don't know what's next.
The beginning was meeting him because he is in the same program in school. He is a year below me. I flirted really hardcore, having that initial attraction, while knowing he had a girlfriend. He wasn't too interested, and very resistant. So I shrugged it off. We hung out only a few times during the fall and my sexuality came up at brief moments where he would ask if I suck dick, and if I think it's cheating on a boyfriend if I screw a girl. I said yes and asked him if he thinks it's cheating if he slept with a guy. He said if he "boned" a guy he thinks it's cheating. Wow.
At the end of the fall semester we were under the mistletoe at a bar so I asked him to kiss me. He got awkward but I think he wanted to, then shied off and said "maybe someday".
So this semester I made more of an effort. After some initial efforts, he dumped his girlfriend. Then I made the mistake of talking about it. I liked him and when people asked if I think he is gay I told them ya, it's possible. That got around to him and it was a month of awkwardness and he was not a fan of me at all. At the end of that time, he got together with his ex-girlfriend.
Then it was time for a vacation I invited him on which he agreed to before the fallout. We bonded and became great friends and have been hanging out since. Times are good and I feel him and I know he feels me. I know some of you understand what I mean when you have those intense feelings and you just...know. That's what it is. But the take home came a week ago, when I was standing around and he touched my shoulder and said congrats to me, and then it dropped to my ass on accident and he said "sorry, or am I? Then said...think about it. And let me know before you leave."
When I approached him to hang out over the summer, he was again resistant and said he would see me at our next event. You know how it is. One step forward and 2 steps back. We have one more event scheduled together over a month from now. I feel like I can't stop thinking about him and I know he is the same with me.
My approach is just turning this into as normal a friendship as I can, inviting him to group events and talking to him at these, because the flirting always escalates and I get new answers. This is what I want to do over the next month, until we have our own thing together...one last definite way of spending time with him.
Do you think there is a chance of him ever coming out? Do these people ever take all of the steps forward or does it stay this way forever? I am tired of playing these games so cautiously but at the same time he is really the only person worth my time right now anyway.
He is just a really good person overall and I would hate to lose him. He's incredible and kindhearted and everything I could ever want. Kind of amazing.
I guess let me know if you think of any other strategies to use...or if I'm doing anything wrong. Or right. It's hard to be patient but I don't see any other way of tackling this situation. I just want to know that it either is or isn't hopeless after 9 months of effort. Thanks.
And let me tell you, the guy is not straight. He's definitely gay or interested in men, and I'd even say interested in ME. I just don't know what's next.
The beginning was meeting him because he is in the same program in school. He is a year below me. I flirted really hardcore, having that initial attraction, while knowing he had a girlfriend. He wasn't too interested, and very resistant. So I shrugged it off. We hung out only a few times during the fall and my sexuality came up at brief moments where he would ask if I suck dick, and if I think it's cheating on a boyfriend if I screw a girl. I said yes and asked him if he thinks it's cheating if he slept with a guy. He said if he "boned" a guy he thinks it's cheating. Wow.
At the end of the fall semester we were under the mistletoe at a bar so I asked him to kiss me. He got awkward but I think he wanted to, then shied off and said "maybe someday".
So this semester I made more of an effort. After some initial efforts, he dumped his girlfriend. Then I made the mistake of talking about it. I liked him and when people asked if I think he is gay I told them ya, it's possible. That got around to him and it was a month of awkwardness and he was not a fan of me at all. At the end of that time, he got together with his ex-girlfriend.
Then it was time for a vacation I invited him on which he agreed to before the fallout. We bonded and became great friends and have been hanging out since. Times are good and I feel him and I know he feels me. I know some of you understand what I mean when you have those intense feelings and you just...know. That's what it is. But the take home came a week ago, when I was standing around and he touched my shoulder and said congrats to me, and then it dropped to my ass on accident and he said "sorry, or am I? Then said...think about it. And let me know before you leave."
When I approached him to hang out over the summer, he was again resistant and said he would see me at our next event. You know how it is. One step forward and 2 steps back. We have one more event scheduled together over a month from now. I feel like I can't stop thinking about him and I know he is the same with me.
My approach is just turning this into as normal a friendship as I can, inviting him to group events and talking to him at these, because the flirting always escalates and I get new answers. This is what I want to do over the next month, until we have our own thing together...one last definite way of spending time with him.
Do you think there is a chance of him ever coming out? Do these people ever take all of the steps forward or does it stay this way forever? I am tired of playing these games so cautiously but at the same time he is really the only person worth my time right now anyway.
He is just a really good person overall and I would hate to lose him. He's incredible and kindhearted and everything I could ever want. Kind of amazing.
I guess let me know if you think of any other strategies to use...or if I'm doing anything wrong. Or right. It's hard to be patient but I don't see any other way of tackling this situation. I just want to know that it either is or isn't hopeless after 9 months of effort. Thanks.
Good luck though! Keep me updated 
