just venting, airing out, talking shit, personal beefs, problems, anger management, and etc thread

[wanker90]

Is this love?

 

[pat grimshaw]

Sometimes, I wonder what the point of this place is.…

It's a way for people who can be complete opposites to each other talk to each other from the opposite side of the planet

 

[refujiunderground]

Sometimes, I wonder what the point of this place is.

Many threads here just seem like a bunch of people talking at a screen rather than to one another.

In fact, the one thing that seems to elicit actual interaction is fighting.

Weeeeeeeird.

internet forums are weird. what's crazier is that i actually feel that i've ran into more people on the internet such as you wonderful guys on jub that understand me unlike the people that have known me for years. hell, even my own family. at times, i feel that you guys as well as other people on the internet give much more of a fuck about me than my family or even how i do about myself. it's crazy. like how does someone from maryland, california, the midwest, england, australia, and etc understand and know much more about me than my own mother. the main reason why i'm even on internet forums to begin with is because the people that i interact with offline gave me the cold shoulder where they were like "we're not listening to you. leave us alone. go to anybody else BUT us." so i pretty much turned to the internet for to make up for what i wasn't getting at home or at school during the time and it became a habit. over time, i was able to express my feelings to other people offline BUT @ the same time, i realize that it hasn't changed much.

btw, i love you mom BUT you don't understand me and i don't think want to.

 

[refujiunderground]

you know, i have to get this out because i feel that hip hop and rap in general gets too much hate.

hip hop and rap is at least to me unique. to each his own BUT i think that it's one of the unique music forms. rock has its own science to it with the chord and guitars and rhythms where you have to have the ear and understanding to enjoy it. the art of music is that everybody thinks differently where they have their own likes and dislikes. a song that i might think is hot, you might think is wack and vice versa.

however, it annoys me whenever i hear people say that rap isn't music. IT IS MUSIC. in fact, i would have to say that rap is more of thinking than just listening and hearing sounds. i think the problem with a lot of rap or music in general is that it's more of "get your hands up, let me dance around, fist pump or whatever". at one point, that was what rap and hip hop was about. moving the crowd and etc. basically have people moving and dancing around, reciting your words and etc. over time, the lyrics took lives of their own where it became a music in itself. you might have folks saying nonsense BUT @ the same time, you can make sense out of it depending on how you think. the thing about it is that rap gets dismissed as not being music because people are speaking and not singing. it's as if folks are forgetting that the words in itself is music but at the same time, the words are telling you to THINK. hip hop and rap is THINKING MUSIC. if you don't like to think, then you're not going to enjoy it or see the value in it.

i remember listening to some rap songs as a teenager and i didn't understand the lyrics because at the time, i didn't get it. i used to want to be a rapper too. it used to leave me dumbstuck at how nas, jay, gza, eminem and etc could say the words and put some meanings behind those that would make me go "how did they do that?" when i heard eminem, jay, nas and other rappers saying that they would read books and read the dictionary. i wanted to do the same thing too because they had to be really smart in order to be able to put their words in a way that made perfect sense but had more than one way of being understood. i've found that i've also been able to learn new things from rap lyrics that i haven't been able to make sense of BUT over time, have stumbled across something which made me go "oh shit, that's what he was talking about?" like cold world from gza. he mentions that about "old iron on the sides, thugs took no excuses, therefore your 52 blocks are useless". i didn't know what the fuck he was talking about at the time. then i stumbled across some youtube video about 52 blocks which was this. . that line is basically him saying that the criminals had guns on them as iron is street slang for a gun or it could be defined as a boxcutter. gza used it as a metaphore using old ironsides but broke it down as "old iron on the side". 52 blocks could be defined as actually blocking or fighting or whatever.

i think a lot of people confuse 5 rappers who really can't rap or just say whatever over a beat to cash in a check to get famous as representing the whole entire hip hop culture. that's about as ignorant as say judging the whole rock scene off of nickleback or muse or dubstep off of skillrex or dancehall reggae off of beenieman or whoever's hot right now. you have to be open minded and etc. it takes talent to REALLY rap and it also takes talent to make a beat as well. it's one thing if you create a song from scratch but to use someone elses record, sample a part of it and make your own beat out of something that somebody else already did in itself is talent. i've heard producers basically take a part of someone elses song, filter it with the production equipment or chop it up and turn it into a song in itself. it's like wow, that is dope. they made the original record sound way better when they made it into a rap beat.

i wouldn't mind being a rapper or a producer BUT @ the same time, i realize that i don't have the balls to do it nor would i want to have that type of pressure on my head. maybe if i was in high school again where i had a bunch of time on my hands where i can let my mind go wild. it was a different time then compared to now. nowadays, you have a bunch of folks trying to come up being youtube sensations and industry plants. i think it's safe to say that the whole music world is fucked up now.

that one line could mean different thing BUT

 

[Lefty]

Along about posting #256 here, I began to think I was listening to a bunch of people in an insane asylum. But I kept reading through to the end, trying to make sense of things, but it never happened. All I got out of this was a headache.

One of my friends here was spewing into a lot of threads and doing damage to his creds elsewhere
because he needed a place (specific) to vent and dump. I suggested he open this thread. He did.

Now, you read the title, put 2 and 2 together and see if you can't get on the bus. Its a great thread
and doesn't have a set curriculum...it is what it is and it does what it does. Even as a prude I find it
one of the most interesting ...the op (and others) just fucking get down with whatever is burring their
saddle at the moment. GOOD JOB OP

 

[refujiunderground]

i am REALLY getting sick and tired of my mom pushing her problems or trying to take her anger with whatever out onto me as if it's my fault. she's also ready to argue with me as well over nothing THEN is the first person to complain about how everyone is pissing her off. i just told her that i had a little cold and i had a sore throat and she's ready to tell me to shut up. the fuck is her problem?

and one thing that she really pisses me off with that is MOTHERFUCKING annoying is how she somehow loops me in with whatever my father or my brother or both of them those and blames ME as in saying "why did you guys do this?" why the fuck are you blaming me for something that i have nothing to do with? she had the audacity to say "why did you guys leave the food on the stove?" the fuck does that have to do with me? if you have a problem with your husband as he was the last person to eat and my brother who got up at 4 in the morning and saw the food on the stove, talk it up to them. don't fucking get mad at me and act like it's MY responsibility or MY fault for something that i don't fucking have to do with. for real. i'm tired of her saying "you guys" for things that involve my brother or my fucked up father. she also doesn't confront them either UNLESS they blatantly disrespects her to her face BUT yet she's ready to fucking start up with me over some little shit or ready to take out her frustration with them ON to me as if i'm some motherfucking punching bag. then she talks about "it's not just you alone". GODDAMNIT, A LOT OF THE SHIT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME. IF IT INVOVLES ME, THEN MENTION IT TO ME BUT DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME ABOUT OTHER SHIT THAT YOU'RE PISSED OFF WITH WHEN IT DOESN'T INVOLVED ME. TALK IT UP WITH HIM. APPROACH HIM ABOUT IT.

i feel that my mother is pushing my bro and me into whatever problems she has. like the issues with my father that has been going on before i was even born and etc. she and him been arguing and going through this same old fucking drama from way back when. after all these years where you're putting yourself in the drama, he's being abusive and etc, YOU STAYED ALONG WITH HIM. it's not like you didn't have a choice to walk away. even if you had to move out the states and go to england to get yourself together, that would have been a step towards changing your life and getting your ass out of this mess that you're in BUT you chose to persue a lifestyle that didn't make you happy for whatever reason. then my bro and me grow up in between your drama between you and our shitty lousy ass father AND then you mix us up in this shit talking about "you're just like your father". it REALLY pisses me off because i feel as if she's blaming ME excessively for her problems that I have nothing to do with. I have nothing to do with it. i'm just getting angry and heated thinking about it because i feel that it's stubbornness and selfishness on HER part. i'm also mad @ the fact that she tries to act like she knows what she's doing WHEN she clearly doesn't. she thinks she's making the right decisions BUT yet look @ where her decisions brought her. i keep telling her she needs to go to a shrink to talk about her problems and etc so because she's clearly angry and is letting fear get the best of her BUT she wants to go like "no... i don't have any mental problems or any issues so i don't need to go". well, you seem to be content and cool with having to deal with my shitty father for the past 30 years and bitching about how he screws you over and about the past with your mother, relatives and the issues @ your job. you obviously don't want to be a better person because you are having trouble doing it YOURSELF and are scared to admit.

 

[refujiunderground]

another thing which i find annoying about this site, i get annoyed when i hear members whining about how they want certain members do this, do that as if they own that person or whatever else BUT yet they themselves need to tweek themselves a bit because they're basically fucking with other members with their bullshit. you get what i'm saying.

it's like how are you starting up with members, being rude, acting out of place, and etc BUT then you're saying that someone else who is basically doing their thing, minding their business and saying whatever they have to say, keeping the peace as the one being the problem? i don't get that. you know, there's a way to talk to somebody if you want to reach out to them and a way to disrespect somebody.

it's like folks are being disrespectful BUT then are saying "you can't insult me". it doesn't work like that. you can't disrespect somebody then think everything's going to be cool. not everybody is going to brush it off and play nice with you if you're dissing them. hell, in the offline world, you wouldn't do that because you know someone might smack the shit out of you or spaz out on you so i don't know why they think the same thing wouldn't apply on online like they won't get told off.

 

[Lefty]

Fuji,

You may not always be the most articulate guy on the street but
damn...sometimes you can pull your head out of your ass and be
making more sense than half of us talkers.

Your post ^333 is a prime example.

 

[refujiunderground]

Fuji,

You may not always be the most articulate guy on the street but
damn...sometimes you can pull your head out of your ass and be
making more sense than half of us talkers.

Your post ^333 is a prime example.

thank you, big left.

 

[refujiunderground]

As I stated before in pm/here..Im far fujie, I dont have much influence to alter you life but indeed you're still living with toxic people/people who triggers your worst tendencies. You need to eliminate the causer as much as you need (your mom/dad) try to get away from those environment. ( Like I used too with my dad)
Im not talking you guys need to reconciliate/ forgiving each other...fuck them.
If they bother you, cut them immediately, consider later, manage YOUR life first..when you feel not strong enough. That's all I can say right now, hope you find your way.

i don't hate my mother at all. i love her dearly. she watches out for me, tells me the truth, and etc just like people do here. she's just like me where she needs help, she wants to change BUT she doesn't know how to or want to accept that she needs help. with my father, it's the exact opposite. he's delusional, living in a dream world, far from reality and his ego is so big that he doesn't want to be help or changed. he's set in his ways. he's the type of guy that gets mad if you tell him that he's wrong. he's that fucked up. he basically has made his way through life basically forcing other people to accept his fucked up ways and attitude. dude actually shows up to work whenever he feels like it and his employer doesn't care. he's been there for like almost 30 odd years. my mom on the other hand is one of those people that has been manipulated into accept his fucked up ways. i just feel that my mom is someone who just needs to accept that she needs help in order to help herself. she's trying BUT the way she's going about it, she doesn't realize that she needs that extra help to help her get to her goals.

i would never cut my mother off. i love her too much and she's always been good to me. my father on the other hand, i dunno. it's hard to tell if he geniunely cares about me.

 

[refujiunderground]

What I really hate right now?

Is there any good quality glasses wipe/spray..cuz whatever products I bought, they just smear my glasses to get dirtier..
fuck them.

The best eye glasses cleaner is always at the store/optic ( there you can have deep clean version ) fuck em.

where did you get your glasses from? where you get your glasses from could make a huge difference. the private doctors are usually the best ones. pearl vision lens are shitty. lens crafters lens are decent.

 

[Anders123]

Sometimes, I wonder what the point of this place is.

Many threads here just seem like a bunch of people talking at a screen rather than to one another.

I think it appears that way from the outside, but is not necessarily the case. A lot of threads ask a question of the reader; about their daily life, their habits, their experiences etc. It's inevitable then that people are going to talk about themselves, but this doesn't mean that there is no interaction there.

When I open such threads, I learn a little about each of the people who post there. I leave comments, and I share my own experiences. People comment on my posts, we exchange PMs, and we get to know each other. The interaction is there, it's just not visible on the surface.

I admit I've expressed similar sentiments to you. I've thought that there are people who come here just to talk about themselves and log out without actually conversing with anybody, but then I realised how presumptuous that is. I can't see their comments section, and I can't see their inbox. I have absolutely no idea who most other JUBbers associate with around here.

It's entirely possible that some people are completely self-absorbed and are only interested in their own opinions and perspectives, but I think it's just as likely that they want to learn from and interact with others in the very same way I do.

 

[Lefty]

Well stated young Anders.

You are certainly an articulate fellow and your reasonings

seem to lock right in to place with nary a hesitation or

misstated fact.

 

[refujiunderground]

Oh the misery.

you waiting to find out if you passed your class? hopefully you do.

 

[refujiunderground]

Thanks mate, I hope so too. Waiting so long could drive a person insane.

i feel your pain, man. especially when you aren't sure that you did well on the finals or your final paper where you'll pass. try not to think about it for the moment though.

 

[refujiunderground]

You are right, I probably shouldn't think about it; there's no way I can influence the results right now, but I can't help worrying a lot and it's basically ruining my mood. It's all I can think about.

how you think you did though? you might get your results back sooner than you think depending on who your teacher is.

 

[refujiunderground]

@ RJ:


RJ, I've been meaning to tell you this for a couple of weeks now, but I keep forgetting.

Remember our discussion about marijuana, and how it makes us both "go loco"? Well, researchers have found that for about 1% of the population, the use marijuana can induce psychosis, because that 1% have a specific gene mutation that alters the way the brain handles dopamine.

So in your case, it's probably fair to say that you have a gene mutation. It might be better for you to stay away from the wacky backy.

i'm thinking. let's say after my psych evaluation, they decide to give me anti depressants or whatever medication to help put my brain back into the normal state it USED to be in. do you think that the meds will help fix that possible mutation where my weed induce psychosis will go away.

Marijuana, at the very least, induces paranoia in a lot of people who smoke it. That figure definitely has to be well above 1%.

I'm not even talking normal paranoia. There's a reason that it seems like 3/4 of Alex Jones followers are potheads.

that's true. i would say that it's more of an anxiety, panic attackish type of feeling than paranoia though. heart racing, numbness, depersonalization and anxiety related things.

and alex jones. that dude. he needs some pussy badly.

 

[refujiunderground]

I doubt it, RJ, because most modern-day depressants work through a different pathway, targeting seratonin or norepinephrine pathways.

However, one anti-depressant, Wellbutrin, works through targeting dopamine pathways. I don't know what that would do to you. It could either induce psychosis (a known side-effect) or it could work especially well for you as an antidepressant.

You might want to tell your doctor this, because it may change his approach.

the side effects sound scary in itself. the thing that scares me about meds is that i've seen and heard from people that have taken it that have had more negative effects than positive. some of the effects they've experienced are permanent. it scared me to read some mother saying that her kid came out worse after popping some meds than before they were on the meds depressed. then i have a friend who is on meds and he can't come off it because his condition comes back when he off them. his condition also got worse when he was on the meds. when he's on the meds, they make his condition a bit easier to manage BUT he still experiences it and the side effects screw him up.

it seems like a damned if you do and damned if you don't.

 

[rareboy]

Rant & Vent

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD THIS YEAR?????

This has been a year from every level of Hell that must exist.

It started at 10:05 on January 3 and even today I am sitting here just waiting for the next visit from the Dark Angels in charge of human misery.

Between work and health and pets and family and friends' problems ....it seems that the whole world has tilted on its axis this year and wobbles about once every few days...throwing me totally off balance.

I am utterly exhausted after dealing with a few total client psychos for months now and out thinking them at every step.

I am at the point of honestly trying to only hold it all together through this nightmare of a holiday season.

I have concluded that the first half of life must be about all the things you get and the rest of life is about all the things you lose or that someone yanks away from you.

There.

Merry fucking Christmas.

 

[pat grimshaw]

^ All financial contributions are gratefully received at this time of year.




—and, yes, even from those who 'grind my gears'