The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Lonliness

JohnstonKommer

JohnstonKommer

Porn Star
Joined
Sep 5, 2011
Posts
388
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Orange Park
I know this is the same old story, but I don't know how to help it. I haven't felt like this in years. I feel so freaking lonely at night. Or when I do get to go out I see couples everywhere. I don't want sex, that's not what I'm saying. I know I don't have a guy of my own, but I don't know how to stop this crappy feeling. Just another dude I could hold or something. That feeling. I don't mean to whine, I'm just wonder if someone knows how to divert it or fulfill it.
 
Here are some options:
  • Start dating
  • Keep your social life busy with friends & family.
  • Get a new hobby to make new friends
  • Get a dog. Dog is very affectionate. You have to walk the dog and you may also meet other dog owners...make new friends. However, this is a major commitment on your part to take care of it for the life of the dog in the next 10 to 14 years. Research have shown dogs can make people happier. Although it's a cliche but it's so true "Dog is man's best friend."
  • Volunteer your time to a local non-profit organization to help others and meet new people...make new friends
Keep a busy social life...until you find that someone special. Idle time makes you feel like digging a hole deeper and deeper into loneliness...and may lead to depression.
 
get a job working with the public. plenty of men out there looking for the same thing.
 
You're welcome. You're still young. Focus on expanding your horizon to keep your mind off of relationship. Think about if there's an opportunity to date, what are you bringing to the table to your date? What do you have to offer?

The more hobbies/activities you do, the more you could talk about it with your friends and family. You yourself will become more interesting to others...especially when you start dating ;)

As an example, paddleboarding is a very popular and COOL sport now. It's not that expensive to rent a paddleboard (around $15/hr.). It's a good workout as well.

Volunteer your time to help others can be very rewarding. It takes the focus off of yourself and onto other people in need. It gives you perspective. Besides, it gets you out of the house and be with other people.

Good luck!
 
Hey - Saw your other post too - lots of good advice here. Team sports especially can be fun and a great way to meet new people, especially the not-too hardcore variety.
And keep in touch with us on here too, even though you're having a down day you seem like someone who is fundamentally nice (*8*)
 
I like the suggestion of adopting a dog. Don't go out and buy a puppy from a store, adopt a silly creature from death row at the local pound.

We have adopted 90% of the animals we have owned this way, with 5% being rescued from the street, and 5% purchased. out of the death row animals, they all have turned out to be cherished pets after the obvious adjustment and training period. The rescued animals have turned into feed bags that show their love but are just so thankful to have a bed they never get out of it, and the purchased pets have ended up being princesses LOL.

They are like a family, so I can recommend it as long as you commit to care and not to the ever growing death row situation.
 
Try to distinguish the difference between being alone and being lonely. Alone is something to relish because one is able to do or not do with no interference. Lonely is the craving for companionship and a feeling of isolation. BTW, walking a dog can be a guy magnet.
 
JK. I understand how you feel. I am still single after like 20 years I stand stood in this ground. Sometimes I just wished there is someone who I can hug and talk with. Someone that is special and I will want to spent every minute with him.

You're not alone. Follow those advises and you'll find your way.
 
chrisw87 said:
We have adopted 90% of the animals we have owned this way, with 5% being rescued from the street, and 5% purchased. out of the death row animals, they all have turned out to be cherished pets after the obvious adjustment and training period. The rescued animals have turned into feed bags that show their love but are just so thankful to have a bed they never get out of it, and the purchased pets have ended up being princesses LOL.

They are like a family, so I can recommend it as long as you commit to care and not to the ever growing death row situation.
Click to expand...

Adjustment & training period can be frustrated. But...it is a perfect opportunity to seek out other dog owners for advice (meet people)...or enroll your dog in an obedient class (meet people). It gives you something to talk about among friends and family. Those stories are often hilarious in hindsight. Like someone already posted, when you walk your dog in a park or on the street, it's a guy (& chic) magnet!
 
Sorry to hear you are having a hard time with that JK.

I know your situation probably precludes getting a dog. But when you are in your own place, having a dog is an awesome way to meet guys.

It is hard, but seasoned nailed it. I was told by a counselor: being alone is a state of existence. Being lonely is one way to react to the state of being alone.

I think you are saying you miss a connection to other people. Given what your parents did, that is understandable. If you do like dogs or cats, volunteer at a no kill shelter. You will have the satisfaction of helping animals, meet people, and have something good to put on those college applications. Jville is a big place. Therehave to be opportunities.

You are a really nice guy, and you have a lot of time. Someday some lucky guy will win the relationship lottery when he gets you as his partner. And dont you forget it.

M.
 
Rolyo: Not much has changed but I'll post an update anyways.

And boys, I'd love to get a dog. Sadly I live with my grandparents and they hate animals, (I know, sad, but it's true).

I thinkmI understand the difference between lonely and alone though. I stay up late at night because I like to be alone without my family bugging me, and I enjoy it. But something inside, ALWAYS is eating at me. I crave affection and companionship like nothing else. I have alot on my 'life plate' right now, but no matter what I'm doing I'm lonely. I try to distract myself, but it comes back everytime.

I hope and pray I'll meet that perfect guy and that he'll like me back. I tell myself, 'it'll get better, it'll get better' anyways...
 
You seem to describe the difference between alone and lonely very well, but your response brought up another idea in my mind. It seems that you have a dissatisfaction in your life that you feel a boyfriend can make right. Because of that I'd like to give some additional advice.

You already have everything you need to be a complete human being, in fact, you already are, you just need to unlock that parts you feel are missing. It can actually work against a person to get into a relationship to feel whole as the other person has way too much control.

The thing is all relationships end even if after many years. Death, itself, leaves one person alone.

In my opinion the key for you is to discover why you are unhappy without, "not having a bf," as your only answer. Do you feel uncomfortable outside your room? Do you have a hard time making friends? Are you afraid of people? Do you have low self-esteem? Are you depressed? Are there other issues? Whatever comes up here ought to be addressed before searching for a boyfriend. The best relationships are those formed by two complete individuals who create a third entity, the relationship.

If you need help with discovering the emptiness you are sensing consider a therapist. Good luck to you.
 
Don't obsess over it. Loneliness sucks, but you are taking the right steps towards getting on with your life. Someone will come, and you will be very happy together, and have everything you are missing now, I promise you. For now try and be content with knowing that.

And I want to read about what else is going on with you.
 
Seasoned: I know exactly what you're talking about and it's true, soo true. I used to feel complete, I felt complete. When I had to cut some friends that used to drag me down months ago, I felt empowered and complete within myself. Then insecurities kick back in. The one thing that controls my life and keeps me back is my weight. Hands down, my body image always screws me over ultimately. And I know what I need to do, and I had started it before, but now it's different in some ways. Like I know eat good, exercise, cardio, all that. And I don't want to make excuses but I'm going to be honest:
There is not a healthy item to eat in this house. My grandparents are southern and old. That means deep fried and dipped in sugar essentially. They're the "clean the plate we give you or we'll be pissed at you and call you ungrateful" type. Exercise is a little easier, but the neighborhood here is a tad shady, like, "I shouldn't leave without mace" shady. I do pushup and situps and things, but other than that it's hard to do anything else.

I've done a lot of thinking about this I've had issues, and the root of every issue I have, is because of my self image. I'm not obese, I'm not diabetic, I'm just...bigger? I dunno I was thinking about joining the Amateur Showcase at somepoint but I don't know. Nothing too racy, just show a bit of what I really look like. I've always had big bones and I was always the cubbier guy in the group...and I hated it. Still do. Blame media, blame porn, but it's never what I wanted to be. I think if I had a flat midsection and a small waist all my troubles would cease. Call it shallow, but I'm dead fucking serious. I hate my body.

I'm not unhealthy though, I have decent stamina, I think I'm like 10% body fat, which is OK from what I understand. I'm just still moose-like anyways.

Yeah yeah, I have a cute round face. People tell me, but I hate it, I don't want to have a 'round' anything. I don't think I'm being shallow either, I just have preferences, and I hate what I look like now.

Wow I went way off subject, but anyway, there's the answer, er- question?
 
If you can't change your diet that much because of your grandparents are feeding you, then you would need to amp up your exercise routines to balance it out. It could be jog around your neighborhood 3 to 4 times a week for 30 minutes. One day, you will move out on your own and will have better control of what you will eat.

Do you have a few close friends to hang out on weekends?
 
Hiya :wave:

I am real sorry to hear of the problem you are goin through. I'm in the same situation (kind of) at the moment.

One suggestion I have... if it's any good... is to get to know some people, and find out if you are able to talk to them over the internet when you are feeling low. This way, they can help you.

I don't sleep much at all right now (long story!) so I started using Skype a lot more. Mainly for business during the day, but at night time it sure helps me pass the lonely times!

Hope all works out for you... I really do (*8*)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top