Lonliness

[Telstra]

So you are unhappy about your weight.

The main thing is to eat healthy, eat less and eat often in small amount. Don't eat any sweet stuff like cookies.
Walking activity and keep yourself busy is good.

 

[Ganoderma]

(.....). Time to have a backbone.(....)

hi JohnstonKommer,

Towards my opinion, you don't need to worry that you don't have a 'mental' backbone. Towards my opinion, you have shown over here that you are a tough guy who can make tough and important decisions at an age of just 18.

(1): you do not hide any longer to anyone that you are gay. Right now your position is: 'take it or leave it' but I am a gay male, and there is no need to pretend that I am straight. This does not need to imply that anyone around you must know that you are a gay. You are a guy of 18, called 'JohnstonKommer', and when you will meet new people you don't bother that, sooner or later, it will turn out that you are gay.

Any idea how many 'US guys' (please excuse me for the simplicity) with a more or less similar background did not have such a 'backbone' to tell people around them that they are gay? And any idea how many of them are (much) older then you (let say up to 30 or so), and still are struggling with this? You made already this big step at an age of 18 (or maybe even much earlier).


(2): you made the important step to quit leaving together with your parents, as it turnes out that your dad cannot cope with your ideas. Again, only guys with a strong mental backbone can make such a decision at an age of 18!

------------------
On the other hand, this does not mean that right now, in your current situation, things are running very smoothly. Take your time, do things bit by bit, and, sooner or later, you will also meet other people in your nearby surroundings with whom you can built up a nice friendship. Be aware that right now, anno 2011, its very convenient that you are also able to built up online friendships with people from all over the world. In 1991, just 20 years back in time, this was not the case, as there was no internet in those days.

I can vaguely remember that you wrote somewhere that you were learning Swedish. You might also consider to make some online friends who live in Sweden, in order to improve your knowledge of Swedish.

Best wishes & good luck.

 

[JohnstonKommer]

Ganoderma -- thank you for the perspective. I know eventually something will turn up.

Yes I'm try to learn Swedish, but I'm having a rough time. All I have is a book and I have no way of knowing if my pronuciation is correct. :/ all the -o's and -u's and the -ö's; It's confusing.

 

[chrisw87]

Sesame street - sweedish chef. Kidding, but look on youtube, for instance if you wanted to learn Mandarin, there is a fantastic guy on there called Benny, I am sure there would be the same for Sweedish.

For exercise, work it, and work it hard, if you push yourself you will release big rushes of feel good chemicals and be absolutely fantastic.

As for the fitness, just remember to keep up the protein instake if you do high intensity weights, I will be starting to do some workouts myself though for the moment I've just been focusing on weight loss, managed 8kg in 2 months and it was easy.

Easy you say? why yes! I completely cut out all snacks, soda drinks, etc. I eat HUGE portions of food, however it is mostly vegetarian. I eat lots of carbs, lots of protein too, and cook with butter and cream, the difference has been the snacks and sugar! I never knew it would have made that much difference.

It may be hard for others, but I love my veggies so it has just been a slight adjustment in regards to snack foods and soda. For instance tonight I will be making a nice simple broccoli soup with some Turkish bread on the side. How much am I eating? probably close to a kilo of broccoli tonight :| yes, that much, but hell, its a good way to fill up.

If you are being fed by relatives, the snacks may just be a good kicker to begin with, cut out all soda's, replace them with water, juice or if you need bubbles, soda-water. No sugary snacks, instead snack on pepitas, nuts, or have a bowl of oatmeal with honey if you need additional topping up.

Eat smaller servings, after a week your stomach will adjust and be just as full, don't eat infront of the TV as you tend to overeat.

 

[canesnbeach]

Being 'lonely' is relative. I am always alone, but never lonely.

Truly, I don't enjoy anyone's company as much as I enjoy myself. There's nothing wrong with that. Maybe try and focus on YOU a little more?

 

[JohnstonKommer]

I stay up for about 6-7 hours after everyone goes to bed, just to have my 'me time'. So I do focus on me frequently and I'm happy with myself generally. My self esteem (my weight alone is the ONLY thing I have an issue with). If my body looked better to me, I'd be more...confident. Who doesn't like company?


As for the Swedish Chef, he was always my favorite character, even before I even knew what Swedish was. The Muppets are just godly anyways. As for legitimate Svenska, YouTube is difficult considering I don't own a computer. But I guess that will work at some point.

 

[NCDogGuy]

Hi JK -
I'm glad you are sticking around and keeping us updated on your journey.

I stay up for about 6-7 hours after everyone goes to bed

I identify with your need for some alone time. But be careful of not getting adequate sleep - that, in me at least, can trigger/support depression.

Losing weight - It can be done. I'm down 55 pounds since last November. Make tiny steps. Your grandma makes some fat filled dinner. You usually have two servings. Start having one. Yes, it is fat filled. But you are making a change.

Drop all soda. Water is always available. It's better for your teeth, better for your body. Right there, you can cut 500-800 calories a day depending on how much soda you drink.

Do your best to eat as healthy as you can. But don't beat yourself up for the limitations you face right now. Try to figure out ways to work within them.

Have you figured out bus routes? Can you get to the library in the area? That might let you get access to a computer so you can take some of the advice on learning the language.

You can do it! It may be hard, but you can do it. And you will really feel proud of youself when you make it.

 

[HunterM]

Many great advice so far. Now you need a plan. Without a plan or without setting goals, nothing happens in the way you want.

Take actions now. Start with jogging/walking for 30 minutes each day. Jog 5 minutes. Walk 5 minutes. Repeat the jog and walk rotation 3 times. Do this for 5 days a week for 3 weeks. Then you can increase your jogging from 5 minutes to 7 minutes. Shorten your walk from 5 minutes to 3 minutes. Do this for the next 3 weeks. Then increase your jog from 7 minutes to 9 minutes. Shorten your walk from 3 minutes to 1 minute for another 3 weeks. You are building endurance. Then slowly you will be able to jog 30 minutes straight without walking in between.

You can jog in your neighborhood or in a park or in another neighborhood. It also helps if you are listening music from an iPod or an MP3 player while jogging to pass the time. Listening to music during exercise keeps me in the zone.

On the diet side, start drinking more water and cut out soda (advice from other posters). Here's what I have done before. I used to drink 2 cans of soda daily. I cut my bad habbit gradually. I allow myself to drink 3 cans of soda per week. My schedule was one can of soda per Monday, Wednesday & Friday. I did that for 3 weeks. Then I revised my schedule to only drink 2 cans of soda per week (one on Wednesday and one on Friday). did that for 3 weeks. See the pattern? I still love the taste of soda. But I don't crave for it anymore. I now have self control and only drink soda one can per weekend.

Keep tab of your weight once a week. Losing 1 to 2 pounds a week is normal.

So start making a plan and start acting on it next Monday. We are all here rooting for you. Tell us what your plans are for exercise and for dieting. Keep updating us on your progress.

You can do this! Don't think too much. Just do it! Start making changes on things you have control over your life.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi JohnstonKommer,

As far as I know, there are not alot of people speaking Swedish over there in the US. Besides that, those Swedes will also be able to speak English (very well).

You might consider creating a profile on http://www.planetromeo.com/ Currently, 4,687 guys residing in Sweden have a profile on planetromeo, and just right now 245 of them are online. Well, just an idea to make contacts with Swedish gays.

On the other hands, Sweden is a very liberal country (fundamental christians are extinct over there), and people over there don't care at all if you are gay, straight or anything in between. So also no problem for straight Swedes (or Swedish guys of around your age) to get online contact with you, eg. because you are curious about Sweden, and / or would like to know more about the Swedish language. Likely, there will also exist such kind of bulletin boards somewhere on the internet.

Best wishes & good luck.

 

[JohnstonKommer]

Many great advice so far. Now you need a plan. Without a plan or without setting goals, nothing happens in the way you want.

Take actions now. Start with jogging/walking for 30 minutes each day. Jog 5 minutes. Walk 5 minutes. Repeat the jog and walk rotation 3 times. Do this for 5 days a week for 3 weeks. Then you can increase your jogging from 5 minutes to 7 minutes. Shorten your walk from 5 minutes to 3 minutes. Do this for the next 3 weeks. Then increase your jog from 7 minutes to 9 minutes. Shorten your walk from 3 minutes to 1 minute for another 3 weeks. You are building endurance. Then slowly you will be able to jog 30 minutes straight without walking in between.

You can jog in your neighborhood or in a park or in another neighborhood. It also helps if you are listening music from an iPod or an MP3 player while jogging to pass the time. Listening to music during exercise keeps me in the zone.

On the diet side, start drinking more water and cut out soda (advice from other posters). Here's what I have done before. I used to drink 2 cans of soda daily. I cut my bad habbit gradually. I allow myself to drink 3 cans of soda per week. My schedule was one can of soda per Monday, Wednesday & Friday. I did that for 3 weeks. Then I revised my schedule to only drink 2 cans of soda per week (one on Wednesday and one on Friday). did that for 3 weeks. See the pattern? I still love the taste of soda. But I don't crave for it anymore. I now have self control and only drink soda one can per weekend.

Keep tab of your weight once a week. Losing 1 to 2 pounds a week is normal.

So start making a plan and start acting on it next Monday. We are all here rooting for you. Tell us what your plans are for exercise and for dieting. Keep updating us on your progress.

You can do this! Don't think too much. Just do it! Start making changes on things you have control over your life.

I think this will really help. Thank you so much.

hi JohnstonKommer,

As far as I know, there are not alot of people speaking Swedish over there in the US. Besides that, those Swedes will also be able to speak English (very well).

You might consider creating a profile on http://www.planetromeo.com/ Currently, 4,687 guys residing in Sweden have a profile on planetromeo, and just right now 245 of them are online. Well, just an idea to make contacts with Swedish gays.

On the other hands, Sweden is a very liberal country (fundamental christians are extinct over there), and people over there don't care at all if you are gay, straight or anything in between. So also no problem for straight Swedes (or Swedish guys of around your age) to get online contact with you, eg. because you are curious about Sweden, and / or would like to know more about the Swedish language. Likely, there will also exist such kind of bulletin boards somewhere on the internet.

Best wishes & good luck.

Sweden sounds amazingly perfect then. I feel somewhat guilty for saying so though. XD I'll look into it. I love Sweden and everything having to do with it.