well I posted something on here awhile back got no responces well only a few but not enough to really get the help I needed. I have things I need help with but now I'm afraid that if I post anything agian I'm going to be wasting my time. The worst part is I dont have friends I can talk to or any one, and more and more I feel more alone and it's making me depressed. Sorry I just have to post this I can't take it anymore.
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looks like Ive given up on this site.
- Thread starter heritic33
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I believe this is your thread here:
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=191367
I hate to be rude but I can't read that much text soo much text, anyways my breif understanding is your falling for this guy who plays with your emotions, you like it (naturally) but at the same time you don't want it because its hurting you?
Would this be an accurate statement, barring some other things such as your location and desire for a partner?
If it is I hope this helps you it was my experience with a guy
Back in school I fell obssessivly in love with the guy I first came out to, he use to stop people teasing me was always interested always knew people fascinating guy, anyway a total dream and thats exactly what I made him into in my mind, perfect beyond my belief. I wanted him so much everyday I would cry myself to sleep because I knew the truth, he was straight I was gay, it would never work no matter how much he would play with me he didn't quite realise he was hurting me.
Anyway back to basics I told him I was gay, he was awesome about it, in fact he use to tease me seductive like, which only fuelled the obsessive fire I had for him. For 3 or 4 years this went on till the end of school when I finally listened to the logic in my mind that I had known for at least 2 years, that it was never going to happen, and if I didn't want to be so sad and so miserable every day for the rest of my life I had to cut him out.
I loved so strongly the games we'd play the teasing but he grew to realise to late that it was hurting me that it was only fuelling this obsession I had for him, we both let it go on for far too long we were both to blame, and we both suffered for my choice which was to end the madness, This is the most important statement I can give you:
"Listen to your head not your heart"
this is crucial with straight guys because if you KNOW there is no chance don't keep hurting yourself you need to stop it any way possible, if loosing a friend is the option you must pick between constant agony or the loose of your friend.
I hope this has helped, remember listen to your head not your heart, it may feel good when he plays around with you but it will always hurt later all your doing is buying time and denial for what you want so badly but can never have.
Sorry mate, hope it helps
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=191367
I hate to be rude but I can't read that much text soo much text, anyways my breif understanding is your falling for this guy who plays with your emotions, you like it (naturally) but at the same time you don't want it because its hurting you?
Would this be an accurate statement, barring some other things such as your location and desire for a partner?
If it is I hope this helps you it was my experience with a guy
Back in school I fell obssessivly in love with the guy I first came out to, he use to stop people teasing me was always interested always knew people fascinating guy, anyway a total dream and thats exactly what I made him into in my mind, perfect beyond my belief. I wanted him so much everyday I would cry myself to sleep because I knew the truth, he was straight I was gay, it would never work no matter how much he would play with me he didn't quite realise he was hurting me.
Anyway back to basics I told him I was gay, he was awesome about it, in fact he use to tease me seductive like, which only fuelled the obsessive fire I had for him. For 3 or 4 years this went on till the end of school when I finally listened to the logic in my mind that I had known for at least 2 years, that it was never going to happen, and if I didn't want to be so sad and so miserable every day for the rest of my life I had to cut him out.
I loved so strongly the games we'd play the teasing but he grew to realise to late that it was hurting me that it was only fuelling this obsession I had for him, we both let it go on for far too long we were both to blame, and we both suffered for my choice which was to end the madness, This is the most important statement I can give you:
"Listen to your head not your heart"
this is crucial with straight guys because if you KNOW there is no chance don't keep hurting yourself you need to stop it any way possible, if loosing a friend is the option you must pick between constant agony or the loose of your friend.
I hope this has helped, remember listen to your head not your heart, it may feel good when he plays around with you but it will always hurt later all your doing is buying time and denial for what you want so badly but can never have.
Sorry mate, hope it helps
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Well, I looked at your thread and saw that you did receive advice.
I see that you have a great deal of trouble expressing yourself.
I would suggest that you take some remedial English courses to help you with your composition, grammar and comprehension.
It is almost impossible for people to make sense of a mass of words with no paragraph breaks, full of extraneous and irrelevant details. I have read it over several times and figure it comes down to whether you should pursue a friend who is straight.
The answer is no. Let him make the moves. Otherwise, move on.
I don't know how many more replies you think you should get, but I think that Lex gave you all the advice you needed.
I see that you have a great deal of trouble expressing yourself.
I would suggest that you take some remedial English courses to help you with your composition, grammar and comprehension.
It is almost impossible for people to make sense of a mass of words with no paragraph breaks, full of extraneous and irrelevant details. I have read it over several times and figure it comes down to whether you should pursue a friend who is straight.
The answer is no. Let him make the moves. Otherwise, move on.
I don't know how many more replies you think you should get, but I think that Lex gave you all the advice you needed.
nihilis
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How's this:
Even if he's gay and madly in love with you, anyone who fucks with your head like he's doing but doesn't have the balls to take it to the next level is not only bad boyfriend material, but a shitty friend as well.
Hope that helps.
Even if he's gay and madly in love with you, anyone who fucks with your head like he's doing but doesn't have the balls to take it to the next level is not only bad boyfriend material, but a shitty friend as well.
Hope that helps.
Ramindra
Love is in the air
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Ah! I remember this post. I saw it one evening when I did not have anything special to do. I copied the text into Word and thought I would do an edit and "repost" it in the thread. After 30 minutes I gave up because I really did not know what was meant in the original, i.e. I did not think I could faithfully reproduce an edited version.
I have tried to read it again tonight and I think I agree with rareboy.
Don't give up on JUB. There a lot of people here who will give you helpful advice. You seem to ramble a bit. Perhaps in future you might write posts in Word or Notepad, think about and edit what you have written and then paste it into a thread. Many JUB guys are busy people who are willing and eager to helpbut when they see a screen full of unstructured type, or "boiled noodles" as my Mum would say.
I have tried to read it again tonight and I think I agree with rareboy.
Don't give up on JUB. There a lot of people here who will give you helpful advice. You seem to ramble a bit. Perhaps in future you might write posts in Word or Notepad, think about and edit what you have written and then paste it into a thread. Many JUB guys are busy people who are willing and eager to helpbut when they see a screen full of unstructured type, or "boiled noodles" as my Mum would say.
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I think that this forum is a funny place. For instance, it's the third or fourth post i've looked at this morning where I am in "behind" rareboy (he has a new holiday avatar up, again, so I didn't recognize this at first).
Anyway, people come and ask for help, or feedback, and usually they get it, and some people are able to use that, and others, maybe it's not useful for them at the time.
Sometimes, it seems to me that some of the individual responses people get are really bad -- but, on the whole, the overall "concensus" feedback usually seems pretty good to me.
If you feel like what you want is experience-informed helpful feedback, I'd say, don't give up yet, and I'd say, continue to work on being able to express exactly what you mean in written form, since this is a "written" forum. Sometimes, if you find you can't express exactly what you mean, it's a sign that you don't know exactly what it is you mean, yet.
Anyway, people come and ask for help, or feedback, and usually they get it, and some people are able to use that, and others, maybe it's not useful for them at the time.
Sometimes, it seems to me that some of the individual responses people get are really bad -- but, on the whole, the overall "concensus" feedback usually seems pretty good to me.
If you feel like what you want is experience-informed helpful feedback, I'd say, don't give up yet, and I'd say, continue to work on being able to express exactly what you mean in written form, since this is a "written" forum. Sometimes, if you find you can't express exactly what you mean, it's a sign that you don't know exactly what it is you mean, yet.
SilverRRCloud
I'd rather be a Sexgod:)
There are no further viable options except for the ones stated by G-Lex and quoted here by the Rareboy. That's how the cookie crumbles this time.
I also see that you have been actually given loads of good advice here and that your first thread, with your admittedly, rather confusing postings got altogether 25 posts. This is not bad by any standard and should not give you any reason to give up on JUB, for that matter.
It will also make a lot of sense to keep the things in prospective. You and your friend are still teens. A lot is changing in your lives and your sexuality may or may not be determined yet. You cannot speed it up for anyone, no matter, how hard you may be trying. He has to get to his own, at his own pace alone.
I have encountered a bit of a similar situation in my HS and college days. My best HS bud and I ended up at the same college. He was a first class hottie, restaurant head-turner, 1st class athlete and a smart and nice guy to boot. We used to be fooling around a bit in HS, stayed absolutely the best(est) of buds and all was good. My gaydar was telling me that he was as straight as they come. I had to scratch him from my infamous list, and I did.
Being friends, we were hanging out together practically all the time. Both of us were getting hit on by both gals and guys and I was after the few hotties with all the moves in my book. My sexual life was a major banquet and I absolutely loved it. On the other hand, my bud was turning down absolutely everybody. This girl was too short, the other one was too tall; one day he did not like the dark hair, the next day he had nothing for the blonds; no one, but no one was good enough. Indeed, he had every single right to be choosey and picky, but this was going too far.
So, I asked him about it, and he came up with the usual, 'I want my sexual life to be meaningful. I want to date and I want the romance and the candlelight dinners and all that
. We are talking an 18 year old horny and very healthy college kid. Cool. His life, his choice. So, why was he not dating and going on with his program? He did not know. No one was good enough.
.
After a while, I started suspecting that he was simply too afraid to have sex. (I know, this sounds weird, in the least.) One evening, he opened up and spilled it all out. What, if he fails to bring her to orgasm. What if he looses erection? What if she laughs him out of her bedroom? What if, Yahda, yahda...
Though I was only 3 days older than him, I had had loads of experience. (Having started messing around at the tender age of 12, I knew more about it than most other dudes of my age.) So, we talked it out. (What else are the friends for?) We even had sex that night, which turned out to be some sort of a closure on our HS past, and sadly on our friendship, too. But, he was encouraged. In a matter of a week, he was dating a very cute blond girl and he even phoned me, some two weeks later to tell me, that yeah, they had sex and it was all great and good.
As these things go, we started drifting apart. He was spending most of his time with his new GF (with more GFs to come) and I was marching to my own drums, too. Over the time, he stopped answering my calls and I called it quits, too.
Start considering the fact that he simply may be too afraid and to shy to try anything with anyone. A somewhat weird option (no pun intended) but probably not that uncommon at all.
SC
I also see that you have been actually given loads of good advice here and that your first thread, with your admittedly, rather confusing postings got altogether 25 posts. This is not bad by any standard and should not give you any reason to give up on JUB, for that matter.
It will also make a lot of sense to keep the things in prospective. You and your friend are still teens. A lot is changing in your lives and your sexuality may or may not be determined yet. You cannot speed it up for anyone, no matter, how hard you may be trying. He has to get to his own, at his own pace alone.
I have encountered a bit of a similar situation in my HS and college days. My best HS bud and I ended up at the same college. He was a first class hottie, restaurant head-turner, 1st class athlete and a smart and nice guy to boot. We used to be fooling around a bit in HS, stayed absolutely the best(est) of buds and all was good. My gaydar was telling me that he was as straight as they come. I had to scratch him from my infamous list, and I did.
Being friends, we were hanging out together practically all the time. Both of us were getting hit on by both gals and guys and I was after the few hotties with all the moves in my book. My sexual life was a major banquet and I absolutely loved it. On the other hand, my bud was turning down absolutely everybody. This girl was too short, the other one was too tall; one day he did not like the dark hair, the next day he had nothing for the blonds; no one, but no one was good enough. Indeed, he had every single right to be choosey and picky, but this was going too far.
So, I asked him about it, and he came up with the usual, 'I want my sexual life to be meaningful. I want to date and I want the romance and the candlelight dinners and all that
. We are talking an 18 year old horny and very healthy college kid. Cool. His life, his choice. So, why was he not dating and going on with his program? He did not know. No one was good enough.. After a while, I started suspecting that he was simply too afraid to have sex. (I know, this sounds weird, in the least.) One evening, he opened up and spilled it all out. What, if he fails to bring her to orgasm. What if he looses erection? What if she laughs him out of her bedroom? What if, Yahda, yahda...
Though I was only 3 days older than him, I had had loads of experience. (Having started messing around at the tender age of 12, I knew more about it than most other dudes of my age.) So, we talked it out. (What else are the friends for?) We even had sex that night, which turned out to be some sort of a closure on our HS past, and sadly on our friendship, too. But, he was encouraged. In a matter of a week, he was dating a very cute blond girl and he even phoned me, some two weeks later to tell me, that yeah, they had sex and it was all great and good.
As these things go, we started drifting apart. He was spending most of his time with his new GF (with more GFs to come) and I was marching to my own drums, too. Over the time, he stopped answering my calls and I called it quits, too.
Start considering the fact that he simply may be too afraid and to shy to try anything with anyone. A somewhat weird option (no pun intended) but probably not that uncommon at all.
SC
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If everyone who had a thread that didn't receive the response they desired were to give up on JUB, there would be no one left.
Perhaps you should ask yourself what you have to offer the JUB family and not just what you can take from it?
Perhaps you should ask yourself what you have to offer the JUB family and not just what you can take from it?
If I can't offer anything different, I often don't post in an advice thread. If my perspective on something feels like it might be helpful, then I do. There are many advice threads where I know I don't have any good answers, so I stay out of them. I also often don't post when I see that Lex or rareboy has said everything I think needs to be said on the subject--they often say it more succinctly than I do anyway. 
Do you really need one person to give you the options, and then thirty people saying, "Yes, I agree," or "Nope, he's wrong?"
Do you really need one person to give you the options, and then thirty people saying, "Yes, I agree," or "Nope, he's wrong?"
well alot has happened since the first thread I had, but I dont think Ill bother posting it, anyways thanks for the other advice, and the reason I got so pissed I guess was the fact that I would go to other people's posts and see all these different points of view on the problem and then they would get alot more help then I was being given. I'm gonna take what some of you said up there into consideration, thanks again.
Daximus
Joker Kitty approves!!
After reviewing your posts I'll just add two pieces of advice.
1. Let folks around here get to know you better so they'll give you more helpful advice.
2. Build up the courage to tell this guy you're gay. You have to be willing to accept the consequences however. He could react badly and out you to every1. Gotta be willing to deal with the good and the bad.
1. Let folks around here get to know you better so they'll give you more helpful advice.
2. Build up the courage to tell this guy you're gay. You have to be willing to accept the consequences however. He could react badly and out you to every1. Gotta be willing to deal with the good and the bad.
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Glad things are progressing in a positive way.
One of the things I have been thinking about, since you started this thread, is that new threads get posted so quickly that some threads get "buried" onto page 3 or whatever before much gets added to them. So sometimes, folks have to "bump" them to keep them in front of folks...
One of the things I have been thinking about, since you started this thread, is that new threads get posted so quickly that some threads get "buried" onto page 3 or whatever before much gets added to them. So sometimes, folks have to "bump" them to keep them in front of folks...
M
Martkell2007
Guest
I think a lot of it had to do with how you typed out your first post. People are more likely to skim for the main points and if they are interested read the details. But your post left no main points to be desired. So people looked at the huge paragraph, felt over-whelmed and fled the thread.
SilverRRCloud
I'd rather be a Sexgod:)
Yeah, dude, by all means.
Get it sorted out and organized and give us an update, if there is any.
Make it shorter and easier to read.
SC
My own problem has so many twist and turns its gonna take alot of time to figure out where to begin and end alot of this after I came out to my friend that I liked he told me some stuff a few days ago and well now Im like it could happen but I dont know....
Thanks for stopping in a lot of this has already been figured out so really the next problem I need help with is figuring what is the next step, honestly I think I’m going to just sit back and let him if he ever does make the next move.
Anyways here’s the problem I did have:
One of my closest friends named Paul is straight and I could not get over him. I have tried and tried to get over him but its been impossible. I don’t want to cut him from my life because over this past week after coming out to him. We have grown close as friends and not just like “friends” real actual friends. There’s so many aspects to this story. The first problem is that I really think he’s gay. Right now he’s straight but there is a possibility that he is gay. Here were the reasons Originally why I thought he was gay:
1. He would flirt with me. (One time I was at our friend David’s house and David fell asleep. Paul looks at David and then looks at me. All of a sudden he pushes me I push back we're sitting on the couch. Paul then bits me and then I bit him, after a while I begin to lose it, so I lean close and almost kiss him but he gets up quickly and says ok this is getting gay. The next day he told David and made it sound like I was the one who started the whole thing and that Paul was the victim. What I do not under stand is why would any fucken “straight” guy bite another guy.
2. Paul is always does shit like hugs other guys
3. He’s sensitive
4. He's also very homophobic (Turns out there’s more to this Ill tell you guys later).
5. Says that something is gay quite often more then everyone else
6. One time I stayed over at his house with him and David there. David passes out again and then Paul puts his arm around me.
7. Another time I stayed over at Paul’s house and tickled him to see what he would do and he at first enjoyed it. After about ten minuets he told me wait this is pretty gay.
8. He has a tendency to touch me and David a lot. Not in a sexual way though.
9. One time he got a broom and was touching David and I on the crotch freaking my friend out. Paul continued to keep touching ups and playing about it was a bit weird. While he was touching us with the broom he basically kept brushing it up against our crotches.
10. One time he randomly picked me up and started to hold me.
11. Very picky when it comes to woman. Some what more so then David and David has the body, personality and looks to get woman. Paul aims way too high and lacks the body and isn’t the most attractive guy out there. He’s a bit on the cubby side.
12. Picks about woman to make them seem less hot.
13. Paul admitted that if a gay guy liked him he would be happy.
14. He saw a picture of David’s cousin and said David’s cousin is cute.
15. Into a lot of girly movies.
16. He’s shy and likes girls mainly when they say hi and introduce themselves and pay attention to him.
Turns out he is afraid of being and becoming homosexual. Last night I talked to him and found out he is afraid of people thinking he’s gay because of me. Which makes him feel like he’s challenged. When I told him Paul felt like he had to go find a girl friend though he has never had one. He wont hang out with any of my gay friends because he’s afraid to get hit on. One problem he’s having is that he does not want to be told by another guy that they like Paul because Paul is afraid that he may start liking another guy because they may start being nice to him and show him interest. He’s also afraid because apparently his mind and thoughts wander a lot and well he’s afraid there could be a possibility that he may turn or be gay. While I was trying to help him, We’d be talking and I’d tell him, I think you’re straight why would you think your gay? A few minuets later he would be talking to me and then say, no I don’t like guys I like girls, acting as if I was arguing with him telling him he‘s gay. He told me he has to keep telling him self he’s straight. I told him if he’s not gay he shouldn’t have to tell him self he’s straight. He also told me he knows he’s straight because of how pretty girls are and he wouldn’t know why he would want to give that up. I told him I never said you weren’t straight. The whole night he kept doing this. I also told him what does he have to prove. Basically he’s afraid because I still have to tell David that I like guys and Paul’s afraid David’s going to question Paul and then that’s going to make Paul wonder if he him self is gay again.
Hope this made sense sorry it’s so much if you guys have any idea’s what I should do now let me know. Basically I don’t know what to think anymore. Seam’s Paul is questioning himself a bit and I don’t know its almost like he is gay and just isn’t gay yet? Or he is bi or may be gay in the future (Straight now/gay later).
Anyways here’s the problem I did have:
One of my closest friends named Paul is straight and I could not get over him. I have tried and tried to get over him but its been impossible. I don’t want to cut him from my life because over this past week after coming out to him. We have grown close as friends and not just like “friends” real actual friends. There’s so many aspects to this story. The first problem is that I really think he’s gay. Right now he’s straight but there is a possibility that he is gay. Here were the reasons Originally why I thought he was gay:
1. He would flirt with me. (One time I was at our friend David’s house and David fell asleep. Paul looks at David and then looks at me. All of a sudden he pushes me I push back we're sitting on the couch. Paul then bits me and then I bit him, after a while I begin to lose it, so I lean close and almost kiss him but he gets up quickly and says ok this is getting gay. The next day he told David and made it sound like I was the one who started the whole thing and that Paul was the victim. What I do not under stand is why would any fucken “straight” guy bite another guy.
2. Paul is always does shit like hugs other guys
3. He’s sensitive
4. He's also very homophobic (Turns out there’s more to this Ill tell you guys later).
5. Says that something is gay quite often more then everyone else
6. One time I stayed over at his house with him and David there. David passes out again and then Paul puts his arm around me.
7. Another time I stayed over at Paul’s house and tickled him to see what he would do and he at first enjoyed it. After about ten minuets he told me wait this is pretty gay.
8. He has a tendency to touch me and David a lot. Not in a sexual way though.
9. One time he got a broom and was touching David and I on the crotch freaking my friend out. Paul continued to keep touching ups and playing about it was a bit weird. While he was touching us with the broom he basically kept brushing it up against our crotches.
10. One time he randomly picked me up and started to hold me.
11. Very picky when it comes to woman. Some what more so then David and David has the body, personality and looks to get woman. Paul aims way too high and lacks the body and isn’t the most attractive guy out there. He’s a bit on the cubby side.
12. Picks about woman to make them seem less hot.
13. Paul admitted that if a gay guy liked him he would be happy.
14. He saw a picture of David’s cousin and said David’s cousin is cute.
15. Into a lot of girly movies.
16. He’s shy and likes girls mainly when they say hi and introduce themselves and pay attention to him.
Turns out he is afraid of being and becoming homosexual. Last night I talked to him and found out he is afraid of people thinking he’s gay because of me. Which makes him feel like he’s challenged. When I told him Paul felt like he had to go find a girl friend though he has never had one. He wont hang out with any of my gay friends because he’s afraid to get hit on. One problem he’s having is that he does not want to be told by another guy that they like Paul because Paul is afraid that he may start liking another guy because they may start being nice to him and show him interest. He’s also afraid because apparently his mind and thoughts wander a lot and well he’s afraid there could be a possibility that he may turn or be gay. While I was trying to help him, We’d be talking and I’d tell him, I think you’re straight why would you think your gay? A few minuets later he would be talking to me and then say, no I don’t like guys I like girls, acting as if I was arguing with him telling him he‘s gay. He told me he has to keep telling him self he’s straight. I told him if he’s not gay he shouldn’t have to tell him self he’s straight. He also told me he knows he’s straight because of how pretty girls are and he wouldn’t know why he would want to give that up. I told him I never said you weren’t straight. The whole night he kept doing this. I also told him what does he have to prove. Basically he’s afraid because I still have to tell David that I like guys and Paul’s afraid David’s going to question Paul and then that’s going to make Paul wonder if he him self is gay again.
Hope this made sense sorry it’s so much if you guys have any idea’s what I should do now let me know. Basically I don’t know what to think anymore. Seam’s Paul is questioning himself a bit and I don’t know its almost like he is gay and just isn’t gay yet? Or he is bi or may be gay in the future (Straight now/gay later).
