Looks vs. Personality

[RaKroma]

For hookups, looks matter a lot. You don't go on grindr or to a club to find a non attractive guy with a heart of gold. For dating, I need personality in a guy that is compatible with mine's. I was obsessed with a handsome guy and our mutual friends worked hard to arrange our "dating." After several hookups, I could not see myself dating him seriously. His personality is like a bucket of dry ice that not even his 7.5 inch cock and twink face can save. All my feelings for him went away. I'm not the desperate teen that I once was who would tolerate everything as long as a hot guy found me attractive.

 

[xbuzzerx]

For hookups, looks matter a lot. You don't go on grindr or to a club to find a non attractive guy with a heart of gold. For dating, I need personality in a guy that is compatible with mine's. I was obsessed with a handsome guy and our mutual friends worked hard to arrange our "dating." After several hookups, I could not see myself dating him seriously. His personality is like a bucket of dry ice that not even his 7.5 inch cock and twink face can save. All my feelings for him went away. I'm not the desperate teen that I once was who would tolerate everything as long as a hot guy found me attractive.

I think we can all relate to being that horny 19 year old guy who couldn't fathom ever being tired of someone hot enough.

I think definitely as you get older and have a few relationships, you catch on that someone's looks really fade so fast over time as any kind of substitute for ... substance?

 

[youfiad]

I hear ya. A guy with amazing looks and no personality is just close to dating me as a guy with an amazing personality but no looks. Meet me in the middle, but I do have a preference for personality, because that is what it really does come down to. At least in my book, we could at least be friends that way.

I absolutely agree with bolded statement. I have absolutely no preference in looks when it comes down to friends and I have found that the uglier that I find people, the more we tend to get along. This shows me how unfair I am to people on the grounds of dating. For friendships, the only thing that is important to me is personality 100%. It is always nice to have people you get along with who are hot though!! They always give you something to stare at! (mouth starts to water as some of my hot, straight friends).

 

[frankfrank]

Back in the Eighties, my third-best (?) friend was an incredibly ugly-looking person with an awful face. We would have hung out together a lot more if we didn't live 700 miles apart. Sexuality wasn't an issue, because he was straight and I was out to him.

Perhaps because of his looks, his extraordinary intellect was unappreciated and unknown, as people generally didn't get to know him.

 

[Rolyo85]

Personality is a basic requirement for me. Without it, all we can have is sex. But looks are also mandatory. Saying that, I don't mean some uber hotness and perfect physique, but simply "looks that arouse me". Because, frankly, at no time - even years into a relationship, will I be having sex with your personality. So yeah, both.

 

[justsimon]

Fact is - it often works backwards for me. I meet a guy, I get to know him, I find him appealing, and then I find him attractive. No, I wouldn't have jerked off to his image when I first saw it. But looks are like the cereal box. I don't get hungry looking at a box of my favorite cereal because I have a thing for green boxes. It's because I now know what's in that box, and I enjoy what it has to offer. Many of the guys I've had sex with or jerked off to weren't necessarily 10s in the looks department. But I liked what they had to offer.

Lex

This is true for me as well. Obviously, I need to be physically attracted to someone in order to date them, but that doesn't mean they need to fit the standard, cultural ideal. In fact, I usually find that less attractive.

I have a crush on someone right now who I initially thought was quite cute, but wasn't necessarily my type (whatever that is …). As I've gotten to know her over the past year and a half, my attraction to her has grown and now I think she's extremely hot. The funny thing is that she probably fits the beauty norm more than other people I've liked, but it took me longer to notice.

The same thing happened with a guy I used to know. At first I thought he was reasonably handsome, but once I realized how incredibly sweet he is, he became the hottest man around … Years later, I still fantasize about him.

 

[Adrusek81]

The thing is - in the course towards discovering that a guy is noble, kind, compassionate, intellligent and talented...you often start accepting the "physically repulsive" part. The looks stop being a barrier, and actually can become something of an attraction. Much like how some people have "an adorable giggle" or "an annoying laugh", depending on whether or not you're currently enamored of that person. No, I'd never immediately jump into bed with somebody I found very unattractive. But if I spent time to find out his interior - and found all those positive goodies you mentioned - that would be time I'd also start re-evaluating that guy's looks.

Lex

This is true. However, as I've said before, when there isn't even a smidgen of attraction (as in those cases when a person's physique is actually very unappealing), an effort has to be made to transcend a possible friendship and reach a point when love and desire can develop. Unfortunately, we have to be exposed to a person's positive qualities for some time for that to happen. It's not the same as when someone to whom we are attracted, even very moderately, shows qualities that increase the magnitude of our initial reaction to them.

So yes, as I mentioned, as time goes by looks stop being very important, but we cannot deny that, when we start to interact with others, they do have a some importance.