Luvin my roommate...

[rareboy]

The guy's a psycho.

Just get a restraining order and next time look for someone who isn't so afraid of his sexuality that he resorts to violence.

Hopefully your roomie will end up doing time in jail and he can be some guy's bitch.

I'll bet he'll love that. He can still keep telling himself he's straight while getting fucked.

 

[unclaimedblessing]

In your 14 years of being best friends, have you ever seen him display temper trantrums of this magnitude before?
If not, you probably are the trigger that set him off.
You're both young and sexual experimenttion is quite normal and natural. After the intitial experimentation some like it and continue. Others however can be turned off, embarassed, angry and/or ashamed.
I'm by no means defending him. You should take the advice of the other gays and get the Hell out of there, before it gets even more dangerous. That guy needs some professional help, apparently he's transferring blame to you.

 

[Just_Believe18]

I am so sorry. The hurt and betrayal you are feeling right now is beyond anything I've experienced. I've gone through horrendous things, but this is truly terrible. I feel for you, man. I truly do.

Do not out him. He's in jail now. Domestic violence will stick on his record and make employment for him very difficult.

I don't know why people behave in the way they do. They can be so good. So loving and honest until they completely turn against you. When you've done nothing wrong, they will stab you in the back and feel no remorse. It's sick. It truly is.

Don't let his psychotic behavior damage you. There are good men out there. Gay men who will treat you well and love you unconditionally. There is hope for the future. Trust me.

 

[houguy77]

Sorry to hear about your altercation. Violence to pets really pisses me off. I'm glad I don't know where this motherless fuck lives. I think I would have to push him down some stairs...esophagus first.

 

[Twistedup]

thanks all for the feedback. i've decided against writing the letter to his parents. i'm just gonna cut it and move on...this whole thing has me soooo fucked up though. at least it has catalyzed my moving out of the suburbs and down by the university.

yeah so i guess he got out of jail last night and had a hell of a time getting into the house cause he didn't have keys and had to call the property management company and got the boot...this i heard from a mutual friend. i just don't understand how this could get so fucked up. i'm new to this, but does this sort of shit happen often?

 

[G-Lexington]

Not in the slightest. At least, not if you restrict your bedroom activities to other out homosexuals.

Lex

 

[Nickyz]

Well, he let you fuck him and now he regrets and starts pissing you off. Whatever he's gay or not, it's so sure that he's not a really good friend. If I were you, I would go find another place.

And one more thing, have you ever asked yourself about "Why I have such a huge crush on this guy" "What about him making me so mad" ?

You'll get through this soon, but remember to learn from it, never make the same mistake again ^^.

 

[Muscles4daze]

I am so sorry. The hurt and betrayal you are feeling right now is beyond anything I've experienced. I've gone through horrendous things, but this is truly terrible. I feel for you, man. I truly do.

Do not out him. He's in jail now. Domestic violence will stick on his record and make employment for him very difficult.

I don't know why people behave in the way they do. They can be so good. So loving and honest until they completely turn against you. When you've done nothing wrong, they will stab you in the back and feel no remorse. It's sick. It truly is.

Don't let his psychotic behavior damage you. There are good men out there. Gay men who will treat you well and love you unconditionally. There is hope for the future. Trust me.

I've been a similar situation, but the guy was not violent with me (he knew better lol), I was there for him, but he had issues and he refused to take ownership for the things he did, and in the end he treated me like crap and it became obvious to me he did not appreciate any of the things I did for him. At first I was pissed, but I later realized I will always be in a better position than him, and I am pretty sure karma will bite him in the ass.

 

[Twistedup]

yeah i'm done being friends with him. i got all the rest of my shit out of the house today and am in a much better place now...not a nicer place per se, but a better one...and i decided against outing him altogether. i wanted to do it because i know his family well. we've been friends for so long, and for most of the time no one in our group would ever go to his house because his dad is really a crazy bigot nutjub. like...he tried to fight me when we were 16 over smoking pot and my parents on numerous occasions had to let my boy stay over cause his pops would beat the shit out of him and kick him out.

that's why i thought it would be funny to out him, but i realize what a shitty thing that would be to do. also i think he acted the way he did because really he was terrified all along that it would get back around to his parents and just wanted me out of the picture to eliminate that risk. still though, he went about it all fucked up.

so what do i tell our mutual friends? what do i tell my mom? he was practically a son to her too. i have friends coming into town for a wedding this weekend which i am not gonna be going to because of this, but they were going to stay with us. they will not understand why we aren't hanging out and living together anymore. i can't really make anything up either. do i say, "he just got drunk and we got in a fight and he fucked up my dog and destroyed my tv/playstation/couches and i called the cops."???? i can't do that without an explanation. what will he tell them? i asked our old roomie what he told him and he said it was because i am financially irresponsible. well i may be but not to the point of not paying bills and certainly not to the point of warranting death threats and crazy violence...knowing his background as well as i do, i know he's going through some crazy mental shit and i feel worried that he'll go farther off the deep end if i do anything or say anything to anybody.

what he did to me and my pet is unforgivable, and i never will forgive him, but i still wish to help my friend through this...or at least not make it any worse.

i'm thinking, since i've been slowly coming out over the past couple months, that i will tell people that i came out to him and that made him go all batshit. it will make sense to people because all of our friends know how he was raised...pretty sure that's how i'm gonna handle questions from mutual friends. is that a good option?

fuck this shit has me. i have no escape. i have good friends and a loving family, but i feel like doing this will cost him all of our mutual friends...in fact i'm sure it will...and i don't want that. he shouldn't lose all his friends for being scared and confused...even after all that happened...

someone please give me an easy way out.

ps...i peed in his mouthwash. i was thinking about destroying some of his shit but decided against it. still though it is probably the grossest most immature thing i've ever done, but it made me feel a bit better.

 

[Twistedup]

it's official. one of our friends coming into town...i just talked to. evidently he told her all kinds of fucked up bullshit about me to diffuse this situation. i told her that i was gay and that he freaked out because of it. she's all supportive of me. i hate doing this to my pal.

 

[Rex]

Wow, crazy story.

He sounds like a complete dick but I still feel sorry for him.

I would write him a letter and tell him how you feel. He doesn't have to respond but I hope one day he will realize what he's done and ask you for some forgiveness. It's horrible that someone who was close to you for so many years ends up turning on you like that.

 

[lookin4sum1icantrust]

it's official. one of our friends coming into town...i just talked to. evidently he told her all kinds of fucked up bullshit about me to diffuse this situation. i told her that i was gay and that he freaked out because of it. she's all supportive of me. i hate doing this to my pal.

I'm so glad you did not taking him back! He was just a real fucked up friend who didn't really care about you. He started things that should have not been touch. Why would he go behind your back and tell a friend stuff that wasn't true. I hate fake people it sucks that people are like that. That is good that she supports you, and have your back!

 

[Fucker29]

Wow, crazy story.

He sounds like a complete dick but I still feel sorry for him.

I would write him a letter and tell him how you feel. He doesn't have to respond but I hope one day he will realize what he's done and ask you for some forgiveness. It's horrible that someone who was close to you for so many years ends up turning on you like that.

I agree with this. Perhaps one of these days you can write him letter or something, give him and yourself some time first, to let things calm down a bit, then you could write it. This is a horrible way for such a close friendship to end like.

He's going through a lot of confusion, anger and rage...not against you per se, but for what he realized about himself through experimenting with you...you were just the easiest target for him to discharge his anger on. And for what you're saying, I have the feeling his parents, namely his father, is homophobic wich makes it worse. Also his upbringing sounds like it was a really fucked up one so...he's going through a LOT of things right now. Given all this, I can understand why he's feeling that way.
Be careful nonetheless, his rage and anger can make him dangerous, as proven by what he did already. Perhaps you could try to help him, indirectly, through your mutual friends for instance.

 

[Twistedup]

how? at present i'm scared to talk to most of our mutual friends. scared i'll just make the situation worse...if any of our mutual friends told him all that i've told here, i'm pretty sure he would come shoot me.

how might i use them to help the situation?

 

[Fucker29]

I guess you're right. May be too risky. Then perhaps you should just leave him alone, let him figure things out by himself, give him time...

 

[G-Lexington]

There's a technique known as "telling the truth without saying anything". And that can work here. If any of your friends ask, just tell them, "Fred and I just had a major falling out. There were some past issues which had been simmering for a long time, and they finally came to a head. It wasn't pretty, but I'm trying to move on." All completely accurate, but without addressing the underlying cause. If they want to pry further than that, just end the discussion there. "I don't think it'd help matters any to discuss it. He's obviously still really screwed up about it, and I'm still trying to figure out where I am, too. I'd rather just focus on moving on."

Your mutual friends? That depends on how supportive you think they'd be. Do they know this guy as someone who "goes off" quite a bit? Are your mutual friends more homophobic or accepting? If in doubt, I'd just keep the explanation to what I wrote above.

Lex

 

[JNewYork]

i just don't understand how this could get so fucked up. i'm new to this, but does this sort of shit happen often?

Forgive me, please, but that is FUNNY as hell.

Nothing you've gone through is funny, though. You have been through hell.

NO, this is not normal. Your "friend" has some serious psychiatric issues.

You're so much better without him.

 

[Sbaraglia]

There's a technique known as "telling the truth without saying anything". And that can work here. If any of your friends ask, just tell them, "Fred and I just had a major falling out. There were some past issues which had been simmering for a long time, and they finally came to a head. It wasn't pretty, but I'm trying to move on." All completely accurate, but without addressing the underlying cause. If they want to pry further than that, just end the discussion there. "I don't think it'd help matters any to discuss it. He's obviously still really screwed up about it, and I'm still trying to figure out where I am, too. I'd rather just focus on moving on."

Your mutual friends? That depends on how supportive you think they'd be. Do they know this guy as someone who "goes off" quite a bit? Are your mutual friends more homophobic or accepting? If in doubt, I'd just keep the explanation to what I wrote above.

Lex

That is great advice - I agree 100%

 

[beebza]

Heya Twisted - sounds like ur being strong, which is the most important thing. One day you will look back on all this as being something really weird - as others have said here you have done nothing wrong. Your (ex?)friend is the one with issues but he's not going to let you help him deal with them because he sees you as part of them.
Let him go. Narrow your circle of mutual friends to those you can trust the most, come out to them if you're comfortable doing so or follow G-Lexington's advice above, it's good advice.

You're gonna move on and fall in love with someone who appreciates you and lets you love them back. I'm sure the world is a dark place for you now, but it'll get better...promise.

if you wanna chat PM me and we can chat on MSN. I'm a good listener and don't have all the answers, but can help you figure them out.

 

[Caeth]

I know you feel bad for your friend, but he needs to feel the full consequences of his actions. maybe then he'll wake up. don't play nice and make sure everyone knows the *truth*. if you can talk to him, tell him that you know he reacted out of fear about being gay and that you're there to support him.