meeting guyz at college

[elGeniuoso1721]

Hey there everyone, this seems to be a repetitive question but I'm seeking some input. What's a good way to meet guyz?

I'm 19 and in college. This is actually my last semester, I'm transferring for September. The town my college is in is conservative, but the campus is pretty liberal. In general though, there are very few openly gay/bi guyz around. I go to GSA (not because I'm looking for someone, I'm actually involved) but therez no one interesting so I don't know how to find guyz. Right now, my main option is the Internet...so I was thinking Gay.com or adam4adam.

Because I'm leaving, I'm looking for a casual relationship. I don't see much point in an LTR and I don't want a hook-up/one-night stand. So a no-pressure, chill thing seems best. I don't think it's that unrealistic. Any suggestions, thoughts, constructive criticism? I appreciate bluntness in fact, haha.

Thanks guyz.

 

[youfiad]

I think you've taken the right steps.... I just think that the options are limited.. I mean, you could ask everybody if they're gay and willing to do the same htin gyou're looking for. But, I just think that you'll have to wait till you transer...

 

[Just_Believe18]

Sure, take the Internet route. If nothing comes of it, you have the transfer to look forward to.

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

Any suggestions of sites? just tried A4A....was a bust, haha. I'd appreciate any help.

 

[Rolyo85]

A4A is pretty good actually. I know people have luck with OK Cupid too. The rest are mostly hook up. What I'd suggest though is investing in an iPhone and getting Grindr.

Also, it's spelled "guys"

 

[epod85]

I'm pretty sure you can get Grindr on Android or BBerry if you don't have an I(insert device name here)

Otherwise the only other site I know is gaydar.co.uk but that's mostly older guys looking for a hookup. I remember Gay.com being one massive hookup site but that might've just been the chatrooms

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

yea, im considering gay.com and gaydar.co.uk. I've always seen A4A as a favorite on this site, but therez only 7 old men on the site in my area -_-

the biggest issue is my location at the moment, but I've got until May till the semester is over...

haha, i tend to use "z's" when im informal =P

 

[Ganoderma]

I'm 19 and in college. This is actually my last semester, I'm transferring for September. The town my college is in is conservative, but the campus is pretty liberal. In general though, there are very few openly gay/bi guyz around. I go to GSA (not because I'm looking for someone, I'm actually involved) but therez no one interesting so I don't know how to find guyz.

hi elGeniuoso1721,

GSA = Gay and Straight Alliance? And why no one in interested in you?

I was wondering if all people on your college are aware that you are gay? So are you an open gay at your college? I mean, how easy is it for any other gay guy at your college to find out that you are also gay (and single, etc.)?

And how about your profile on Facebook? Are there clues / indications that you are gay (and single)? Again, how easy is it for others (eg your mates on college) to see on your Facebook profile that you are gay?

Anyway, I would like to wish you good luck, and I hope soon u will find a nice guy.

Best wishes.

 

[KaraBulut]

If you're in GSA, the members should be able to tell you where to meet guys. Even the most conservative of towns have a coffee shop or bar where gay people often hang out. In the US, it's not unusual for the "hang out" place in a small town to be a Barnes & Noble bookstore.

Something that you might give some thought to is why- if you're active in gay organizations and social networks- you haven't met someone that you are interested in. Everyone you meet has a circle of friends. Sure- you might not be interested in or attracted to every gay person you meet but they may have a friend who you would be interested in.

Network- make friends and meet your friend's friends. The advantage of networking is that you meet people, get to know them on neutral territory and you can find out the dirt on them from mutual friends.

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

These are great points, allow me to explain.

First off, about Facebook, I do not post anything about me being gay. I have family on Facebook who don't know, so I am not open about it on my FB. In person though, at college, I am out. The thing with that is, I'm a masculine guy, people don't notice...at all, haha. I openly talk about it, but unless the topic comes up in conversation, I am assumed straight. So to answer Ganoderma, people would only know that I'm gay if they heard it from me or someone else.

Karabulut, you make a great point about networking. Many of my friends have mentioned who their gay friends are, but they don't go here or I don't know them. And idk, I've never been in many flirty situations so I'm kinda new to this, haha. In general though, my college area just doesn't have a high LGBT presence.

 

[Taralen]

Problem numero uno. You're 19. Get your head in those books. Focus on school. Penis isn't your main priority. You're young. You have your whole life to make mistakes. Wait a few more years before you start seeing other guys. There are a million jerks you will end up dating and being in relationships with. Don't fret.

 

[KaraBulut]

In general though, my college area just doesn't have a high LGBT presence.

Every college has a high LGBT presence. The question is visibility.

That's why networking and getting to know people is usually the key that unlocks the door.

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

@Karabulut, I guess you have a point. I'll try putting myself out there more.

@Taralen, I know! You're absolutely right, and I have acknowledged this. Believe me, my education is my primary focus. Ever since high school I've always gotten the best grades, I do not let anything get in the way of my work. But I've never had any type of connection with anyone before...and I can't help wanting one. Especially this semester, my classes are ridiculously easy and I have more free time than ever, so I figured now is a good time to try playing the field more. And like I said, I'm ok with a casual relationship. I know some here on JUB would suggest a hook-up...but I feel funny about that.

 

[tbtmo02]

Hey there everyone, this seems to be a repetitive question but I'm seeking some input. What's a good way to meet guyz?

I'm 19 and in college. This is actually my last semester, I'm transferring for September. The town my college is in is conservative, but the campus is pretty liberal. In general though, there are very few openly gay/bi guyz around. I go to GSA (not because I'm looking for someone, I'm actually involved) but therez no one interesting so I don't know how to find guyz. Right now, my main option is the Internet...so I was thinking Gay.com or adam4adam.

Because I'm leaving, I'm looking for a casual relationship. I don't see much point in an LTR and I don't want a hook-up/one-night stand. So a no-pressure, chill thing seems best. I don't think it's that unrealistic. Any suggestions, thoughts, constructive criticism? I appreciate bluntness in fact, haha.

Thanks guyz.

I am totally in somewhat of the same situation. I went away to college last fall. Ive made lots of friends mostly girl and a straight guy friend who i kinda hate now. But the thing is when im with new people i am not going to say ne thing about me being gay unless you ask me. I even have a gay roomate but I dont like him. Though i am making new friends and Ive made a new lesbian friends and were going to go the gay club at our school next quater. So yea maybe join the gay activites and could find people

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

I am totally in somewhat of the same situation. I went away to college last fall. Ive made lots of friends mostly girl and a straight guy friend who i kinda hate now. But the thing is when im with new people i am not going to say ne thing about me being gay unless you ask me. I even have a gay roomate but I dont like him. Though i am making new friends and Ive made a new lesbian friends and were going to go the gay club at our school next quater. So yea maybe join the gay activites and could find people

yea it's kinda tough. it can get a little awkward when ur assumed straight...but then i tell them and it's not! (for me at least, haha) my GSA lacks people I find interesting enough to pursue something, but im glad they're friends. and the closest gay club to me is 45 minutes away which sucks cuz i went once and had a blast! im planning more trips tho with friends so we'll see what happens.

for anyone actually interested in an update, im on Gay.com...see wat happens

 

[Ganoderma]

hi ElGeniuoso1721 & Tbtmo02,

There are several methods to let people around you (= on college in this thread) know that you are gay, single and looking around for a boyfriend.

I think that both of you have told (often in a one-to-one situation) to your good friends on college (male and female) that you are gay. Likely (?), you will have told them that you prefer that they don't tell to others that you are gay, as you prefer to say this first to your other friends (or other people you would like to tell first).

But right now the situation is different. This task (telling your best friends in a one-to-one situation that you are gay) is finished, and you might consider them to say that its not anymore a 'secret' that you are gay. So they can also tell their other classmates and/or don't need to pretend anymore that they are unaware of the truth. So by telling people this kind of message will make it very likely that 'the news will go around' (sometimes very quickly), and that you don't need to tell anymore that you are gay. People are already aware.

Same can be done by telling some people (girls?) who like gossip very much.

Openly joining the local queer group (or the local GSA alliance) and be active in this group will also make clear to alot of people around you that you are gay (or a straight guy who is very gayfriendly). Same like having contact with other gays on college who are open gay. So people on your college will notice that you are often together with other gays.

The key point is that you must be visible (and also easily approachable) for other gays on college and that you must widen your circle of people who know that you are gay (and single, and looking around etc.) as much as possible. Ofcourse, several straight guys and girls in your college will either have a gay brother / cousin etc. And maybe you meet your boyfriend in the shop around the corner, who knows.

Facebook is another method to make clear to others that you are gay. Again, there are several ways to indicate in your profile on Facebook that you are gay. Very obvious ones ('interest = male'), but also alot of more subtle ways. Eg, links to several of your gay friends.

So no need to walk around with a cap with 'I am gay' on it (but you can always wear a rainbow bracelet). And please be aware that this kind of information / news will go around at college. People like to talk and like to discuss this kind of things (same like the girlfriend of certain guys, etc). So at some point, you can just take it for granted that people around you are already aware that you are gay. And if they don't seem to be aware, you just tell them.

Anyway, good luck and I hope both of you soon will get a nice boyfriend.

Take care

 

[elGeniuoso1721]

It's interesting cuz I've talked about this with friends before, and the general consensus is that in their opinion, my sexuality is something personal, so they will not gossip much about it out of respect for me. That's just how they feel about it. Except one girlfriend of mine...she'll announce it to a room if someone mistakes me as straight, hahaa. But in general, there is not much campus gossip. I go to a public college with 11,000+ students. Gossip happens on a smaller scale.

I guess I need to work on my own visibility?

 

[Ganoderma]

It's interesting cuz I've talked about this with friends before, and the general consensus is that in their opinion, my sexuality is something personal

Well, almost all straight guys don't have the opinion that their sexuality (= straight = they like girls) is something personal. So why would this be the case for guys who happen to be gay? Definately, this should be no big deal at all in an ideal world.

I go to a public college with 11,000+ students.

Wow, so there must be quite a few other gays over there. Lets assume 50% of the students are guys, and that around 2 to 5% of them are gay. So there will be at least around 100 - 250 fellow male students who are gay.

I guess I need to work on my own visibility?

Yeah, that's a good idea. Just make is as easy as possible for potential boyfriends (and there are quite a few of them walking around at your college) that you are 'gay & single & available'. Well, and there are many ways to make yourself more visible. And I tend to think that you should do this on a way which is comfortable for you. People are different, so also the way how they behave.

Definately, you have some very nice and kind friends.

Take care & best wishes.

 

[evanrick]

if its your last semester why not go out like a slut?

 

[evanrick]

Wow, so there must be quite a few other gays over there. Lets assume 50% of the students are guys, and that around 2 to 5% of them are gay. So there will be at least around 100 - 250 fellow male students who are gay.

well if you wana limit yourself to the gayest of the gay then that sounds about right. i just assume all men are gay.