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My 6 Year Old Nephew Called Me A Fag...

H

herenthere

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I'm a 23 year old open gay male, who has been in a committed relationship for two years. Both my partner and myself respect other peoples opinions and feeling and we do not "flaunt" our preference. We are both masculine acting and are positive contributors to society.

I was visiting my sister last night, when my 6 year old nephew ask me what a fag was, saying his daddy called me and Shaun that all the time.

I was stunned, and alone in the room with him, so nobody else heard it..

Should I:

A IGNORE IT
B CONFRONT MY SISTER
C CONFRONT MY BROTHER IN-LAW

I'm angry, but at the bottom of my anger, my feelings are hurt, what do you think guys??
 
Nothing you say to your sister or brother-in-law will have any effect on the language they use in private. I wouldn't bother confronting them if I were you -- just file this one under "choose your battles."

But you can maybe educate your nephew a little. The next time he says "fag," just say "that's not a very nice word." Presumably there are other words that his parents have told him not to use, so he can just add that one to the list.
 
herenthere said:
Should I:

A IGNORE IT
B CONFRONT MY SISTER
C CONFRONT MY BROTHER IN-LAW
Click to expand...


Um, definitely B and C!!! I have 4 nieces & 4 nephews and if any of them called me that I would (1) be shocked/disappointed and (2) find out where they heard that word. You shouldn't let your brother in law disrespect you like that. My feelings would be hurt too. I'm sorry this happened to you. I agree with slobone in that you should definitely educate your nephew. Just say it's a word you shouldn't say.
 
I think you should talk to them, not confront them. Just say to them that it is not a nice word to use and that you and your friend find it offensive.

talk straight and in plain language and tell them how you feel. Surely it should not be a problem!
 
From what I read your nephew didn't call you a fag at all; he merely repeated what his father said. The best thing you could've done is tell him it's a bad word. And go to your brother-in-law. :)
 
I can only say what I would do if I was in your position, and that would be to "confront" (I use that word as I would be livid with him), your brother in law, but do it in front of your sister in case she is unaware of him using this term. I would ask him why he feels the need to belittle you and your partner by referring to you both as "fags".

Of course if this is likely to change your relationship with your sister then maybe another approach should be taken, but I feel you should at least express how hurtful this term is to you.

Good luck in sorting this out - I understand totally how hurt you must feel over this - my cruel side would be to use the term "cunt" when talking about your brother-in-law to your nephew, but obviously I know this is wrong, but I would so want to do it. :grrr:
 
DutchECK said:
From what I read your nephew didn't call you a fag at all; he merely repeated what his father said. The best thing you could've done is tell him it's a bad word. And go to your brother-in-law. :)
Click to expand...

I agree. Since you said he had to ask you what it meant, I don't think any hurtful intent was there, although me may have gotten some impression from the way his father used the word. You should see how you sister and brother-in-law truly feel about you (in private) and take things from there.
 
I'd call him the heathenish bastard child of Satan... but maybe that's just me.

j/k :p I'd just explain what an offensive word it is to some people & tell him he shouldn't say it any more.
 
I think you should say to your sister. It would be awkward, but I think that people with a family in which someone is gay should quite frankly know better and to pass on that kind of talk to their children is inappropriate. It's better to help nip it in the bud now rather than let the kid grow up with it.
 
i would have a talk with both your sister and brother-inlaw .. then i would show your brother inlaw what its like to get his ass kicked by a fag !!!
 
MidnightPrism said:
I'd call him the heathenish bastard child of Satan... but maybe that's just me.

j/k :p I'd just explain what an offensive word it is to some people & tell him he shouldn't say it any more.
Click to expand...

The kid was only repeating, not using it as an abusive term - that's what small humans do.

The problem, as usual is with the parents - not the child. I'd take the advice given - don't confront - just tell this guy how dissapointed you are that he would come out with something like that - and ask if he has a problems that he's been too afraid to talk about.

If that fails - then i'd take a bat to him.
 
Educate your nephew. And then have a talk with your sister. Perhaps she is unaware of her husband using this word.
 
herenthere said:
I'm a 23 year old open gay male, who has been in a committed relationship for two years. Both my partner and myself respect other peoples opinions and feeling and we do not "flaunt" our preference. We are both masculine acting and are positive contributors to society.

I was visiting my sister last night, when my 6 year old nephew ask me what a fag was, saying his daddy called me and Shaun that all the time.

I was stunned, and alone in the room with him, so nobody else heard it..

Should I:

A IGNORE IT
B CONFRONT MY SISTER
C CONFRONT MY BROTHER IN-LAW

I'm angry, but at the bottom of my anger, my feelings are hurt, what do you think guys??
Click to expand...

Simple all you have to do is seduce your brother-in-law and time it just right so that your sister walks in on the 2 of you, and that will teach her a lesson. How funny would that be and it would sure send her a message.
 
Talk to your sister. If my sister's children came to me with that kind of vocabulary, that is what I would do.
 
Since it was your nephew who brought you the bad news, you can use him to be the messenger. Tell your nephew to tell his parents that they were "naughty", because they called you 'gay'. Tell him also that after he tells them, that he should also qualify the observation by saying that your Uncle Herenthere (or whatever your real name is) said so.

That way, you aren't there for the fall out, and they will also get the message that they really ought not to speak in front of the children in such a disparaging way about you. Perhaps your sis or brother-in-law will apologise next time they see you. Otherwise, visit, and see what happens.
 
star-warrior said:
Since it was your nephew who brought you the bad news, you can use him to be the messenger. Tell your nephew to tell his parents that they were "naughty", because they called you 'gay'. Tell him also that after he tells them, that he should also qualify the observation by saying that your Uncle Herenthere (or whatever your real name is) said so.

That way, you aren't there for the fall out, and they will also get the message that they really ought not to speak in front of the children in such a disparaging way about you. Perhaps your sis or brother-in-law will apologise next time they see you. Otherwise, visit, and see what happens.
Click to expand...

I disagree - using the child as pawn in the game is wrong - face the problem i.e. talk with this guy - it might just be 'slang' but it's wrong in this instance
 
Am I the only one that doesn't find the word fag offensive?

You're all a bunch of filthy dirty faggots - are you really that offended by that?
 
W10 Chubb said:
Am I the only one that doesn't find the word fag offensive?

You're all a bunch of filthy dirty faggots - are you really that offended by that?
Click to expand...

yeah it's offensive and even more so from the mouth of a 6 year old, who needs to understand eventually that he has a gay Uncle.
 
Thanks guys for all the input...

I'm too angry right now to do anything, I'm still in the "what can I do to get even" state of mind. I do not think that involving Jed (my nephew) in any way is a smart move. I love my sister and my relationship with Jeb is great...I'm his favorite Unc as he puts it.

What surprises me most, is I have always had what I thought was an awesome relationship with my brother-inlaw..we hang, we watch games..we play softball we do lots of things together. He needs to get his head out of his ass, not for my sake, but for his son...think what that kind of impressions and thought patterns this child is learning...

Thanks for listening..
 
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