My Beautiful Best Frend, whom I love.

[texan_slant]

i miss him and think about him ALL THE TIME... can you imagine a life where you think about someone every minute, and every decision you make, you always think... "what would have he done"

I really can't imagine a life in which I liked and obsessed with somebody who ignored me. You ask yourself, ""What would've he done..." Well honey, he's ignoring you, and you should do the same with him in your head.

To be honest with you, you are wasting away your valuable life on something that gives you nothing in return. It is a *choice* to be happy, and it has to come from within, and not from someone else. Love is only the tip of the iceburg over your internal happiness.

I'm serious - please get some professional help.

 

[ejbonk]

hey guys, i once again thank everyone for all the help you have given me.. i feel that only you guys know this deep, depressed part of me. pls read this, even though its about a year long.. i really need this, i'm hanging here with no point to life, cos i just love him, and i havent seen in my life someone so perfect and wholesome in so many areas like him.. i love himm so much, and the worst part is the physical attraction i still feel.

ahh i don't know how slow life has been.. its just been dragging on for... ages.. we don't talk anymore. he's really really happy.. life goes on for him. he has this best friend and they always are laughing, have inside jokes and shit, and it just can't stop reminding me of him. Yesterday, an overwhelming feeling came, when i suddenly, just randomly had a flashback of him hugging me.. and i thought that it was the best thing in the world. and that one phase that we had when he held my hand. i'm pretty sure that he is not gay, he just needed me badly at that time cos we were so close, he had broken up with a girl a few months ago, and another girl that he really liked was going out with some other guy.. ahh i miss those times..

these days, things are different.. i miss him and think about him ALL THE TIME... can you imagine a life where you think about someone every minute, and every decision you make, you always think... "what would have he done" i've found myself lately TRYING to be like him, and i have felt a stroong jealousy against him, cos he has become even more popular in our grade, and since we stopped talking, he has made many many many more friends. it's like he has forgotten me.. the problem is.. our grade is reaalyy really small, and we have TOO many mutual friends, and of course, when i'm with them, and he comes around.. anything he says, is the discussion of the group.. he has become like some overly social person and i feel so angry, because i have lost my sense of humour and just the positiv side of life. its because i realised as i said before the last three years of me coming out of my shell and being hyper and funny is because of him, its his influence.. and now i feel like i'm back to the same old person. what annoys me the most about myself is that i feel sooo jealous of him, i'm always trying to be better and fail miserably. he has a better body, better face, he is damn good at sports, he's even smarter than me in studies, he's always soo funny and leads alot of discussion in the midst of ppl.

i dunno why i feel so jealous of him, and also why i miss him so much.. i want him to need me... i really need that.. just no one in our grade is as well rounded as him.. he gets on with everyone, and he's always the center of attraction.. life feels so empty, i rarely get smses on my fone, cos before he used to sms me all the time.. and what really annoys me is that, i don't feel any attraction to other guys.. at all.. i think my main problem is i have such a STRONG sexual attraction for him, it's soo wrong... i want him soo badly, and i hate him too.. im obsessed.

Another thing that has annoyed the SHIT out of me is now, he and his best friend have organized this poker thing, where he gets alot of friends and they all play poker.. he is obsessed with it, but i am not.. i was invited by his best friend, but i said i wasn't interested. Now i feel even more jealous cos he is starting a trend in our grade slowly with this poker thing... i just feel soo unwanted right now.. and sooo screwed up...

also another thing is that ahh sometimes when no one is around, and he just wants to break tension, i think he says hi, but then the next moments when he sees his other friends, he goes and hangs onto them and laughs and totally forgets about me.. the thing is i can mae friends but my mind is blank.. i only can think about him..

is there anything i can do or say, which i can tell him to just leave me alone, if he doesnt want to be friends with me.. or shud i do this..??

SOMEONE PLS REPLY AND GIVE YOUR THOUGHTS... I NEEEDD HELPP PLEASSSSEEE

PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE

thanks :|

1. It's over.
2. GET OVER IT.
3. Get Professional Help!
4. Go out and make NEW FRIENDS.(GAY ONES THIS TIME.)
5. Make Your Mind a Blank,By staring at a Concrete Wall.
Then Imagine being locked in a Room with no windows,Just Concrete Walls.
6. Your will power is almost non-existent.
7. You Need to Work on that.
8. Use Pure Logic to do this.

 

[954dude]

Depression is serious, you need to get help, because I've been through it and you need to see the light. He is happy because he is living life and not letting everything get to him. You should really focus on what makes you happy and improving your attitude each day.

 

[geishagaysha]

Vendro... thank you soo much for signing up just for me hehe and to everyone else, i feel that you guys really honestly totally are the only people who know me... but.. i just think i'm going crazy... i can't start a conversation, keep a conversation anymore... more or less all my friends hang out and never invite me.. in the past, they have only invited me when I've wanted to. I'm dropping out of the social scene like crazy in my school, and its so hard to make friends in my mood swings :s I'm always constantly fighting with my parents because I dun want to do my homework, and even though it hurts so much my favorite past time is to think about this guy i like soo muchh.. I think its all that worse cos I am physically attracted to him.. ahh i dunno.. My exams start next week, and I still havent started studying.. For tomm, I have two 200 word essays due and i havent started on them.. I always have to start researching on my colleges and my parents are shouting to me about that too.. I just feel like i have no time.. It feels that the only thing that seems to satisfy me is porn, and that is realyybad, how funny it sounds... ahhhh

 

[ejbonk]

Vendro... thank you soo much for signing up just for me hehe and to everyone else, i feel that you guys really honestly totally are the only people who know me... but.. i just think i'm going crazy... i can't start a conversation, keep a conversation anymore... more or less all my friends hang out and never invite me.. in the past, they have only invited me when I've wanted to. I'm dropping out of the social scene like crazy in my school, and its so hard to make friends in my mood swings :s I'm always constantly fighting with my parents because I dun want to do my homework, and even though it hurts so much my favorite past time is to think about this guy i like soo muchh.. I think its all that worse cos I am physically attracted to him.. ahh i dunno.. My exams start next week, and I still havent started studying.. For tomm, I have two 200 word essays due and i havent started on them.. I always have to start researching on my colleges and my parents are shouting to me about that too.. I just feel like i have no time.. It feels that the only thing that seems to satisfy me is porn, and that is realyybad, how funny it sounds... ahhhh

I suggest,You may need Medication to deal with the depressional mood swings.
Your Shrink may need to put you on Zoloft 100 mg or more once daily. In your case something stronger may even be needed.

 

[EvilForce]

Geis, trust me life gets better. Just focus on getting thru the next year or two. Once you get off to college live improves 1,000 fold. I was suicidal for almost 2 years in high school. I suffered in silence. I liked boys, but my religion taught me I was wicked. I had no one to talk to. No one.

YOU are not a victim Geis. YOU have the power to control what happens. YOU can choose to allow this episode destroy you, or strengthen you. YOU have the ability to do better. Yes, cry your eyes out, stamp your feet and scream at the sky. It's not fair. Life ain't fair. After that, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and quit being such a sniveling little cry baby. (Ok, maybe that last part only helps when I'm going thru those grieving steps.) I found that if I stop focusing on how miserable I am, I realize how much I have to live for.

Can you volunteer at a homeless center? Perhaps help cook or serve one day a weekend at a shelter? Volunteer one day a week at a retirement home reading to people? When I stop focusing so much on my pain, and tough times, and start focusing on someone else (just to take my mind off of it for a little bit) I realize just how much I have in life compared to everyone else.

Good luck.