My best freind just sucked my cock. Is he gay?

[DanimalX]

Ok, here's the story. I'm gay and I've had a major crush on my best buddy for a while. We got drunk the other night and we ended up sleeping in the same bed. ( He wasn't wasted but i was) He started feeling me up through the night and in the morning he ended up giving me a hand-job and then a blow-job. We both acted normal to each other the next day and I don't know where things will go from here. Now the thing is he has a girlfriend, so i don't know whether he is gay, straight or just bi-curious.

Advice? What should I do next??

 

[BlondeCanadian]

congratulations... he is willing to fool around with you why would it be any of your business whether he is bi or gay? i would spend alot of time stressing about it.. if he wants to talk to you about it he will...as for what to do next maybe invite him over sometime and see what happens and if you want to talk to him about it do it after fooling around...

p.s congratulations on actually getting what everyone else who posts about their bestfriends actually happening

 

[altlover85]

I would tread lightly as he has a girlfriend, unless you know they aren't serious about one another.

 

[BlondeCanadian]

oops i thought it said he doesnt have a girlfriend

 

[evanrick]

what does it matter what he is?

maybe he is just trying to help a friend out and if that means having a nice juicy dick end up between his lips then whats the big deal?

 

[Halifaxboy8]

I wouldn't do anything more with him as long as he's in a relationship. He just cheated on his girlfriend. Serious or not, that's fucked up.

That's a matter of personal ethics. It might be a problem for the girlfriend (or it might not as we don't know her take on this), it seems to not be that big of a problem for the OP and his friend. I know a LOT of people who are on the down-low that are married w/ kids, or have gf's, and also have another life that includes sex with guys.

I guess I've seen too much and experienced too much to be so flatly judgemental about another person's life situation.

To the OP: I don't think its really all that important to put a label on your friend (gay, bi, whatever). All that you know is that you had intimate sex, once, and thankfully your friendship is intact. I don't think there is any need to worry about a "next step" either. Just do what the two of you always did before, hang out, go for drinks..have the occasional sleep over. Be casual, let it flow and try not to overthink things.

 

[Shawn1]

I agree regarding fidelity with one's partner.

If it were me I'd probably say something to him eventually, but I'd take his cue on broaching it anytime soon. Most guys coming to terms with themselves want and need some time and space to work it out their own time. Just be there for him and it'll all come clear to you both eventually.

Good luck.

 

[KaraBulut]

If you got drunk and had sex with one of your female friends, would that make you straight?

You friend may not know what he is. And since he apparently isn't ready to talk about it, it doesn't really matter in the end.

However... cheating on his girlfriend with a drunk guy... well, that may cause him some problems down the line.

 

[rareboy]

uh uh.

or should I say,

oh oh

this can't end well for at least

one of three people in this triangle

gee

now who's it gonna be who gets hurt?

 

[conrad]

Why am I willing to give him the benefit of any doubt? What two people do together sexually is personal and private and IMHO it ought to remain so even if he is in a relationship.

The "slip" while he was a bit tipsy might have been the opportunity that he was wishing for. I shared a lower berth on a Pullman sleeping car with a fellow soldier and was surprised right out of my wits when I came "bed the second night of the troop- movementand he put my hand on his erect and thobbing cock and then put his own hand on my now erect cock. Fact was that I had the hots for him and he for me but we were in the Army and being discovered in such activity was a sure ticket to a less than honorable discharge even in the midst of a war. Next thing I knew I was getting the most tender blow job and I had to keep quiet. When I delivered my cum to his mouth he swallowed all the evidence. I was willing to throw all caution to the wind and reciprocate but he would not let me. Years later I learned at a company reunion that he had married and was miserable as a truly gay man in marriage.

I relate my experience because I think it illustrates how intense male bonding can become even when it is strictly discouraged.

Please go easy on your friend. Any friend who gets that close to you is telling you something. And the fact that he was already in relationship was not sufficient to squelch his feeling for you. Take it as a compliment and let your friend choose his own time to sort it all out.

 

[Spiff]

I say he is a closet case that was waiting for moment like this to take advantage of getting drunk. Then if it had gone bad, he could always conveniently blame the alcohol.

 

[Halifaxboy8]

This is exactly the stupid attitude I mean. NO- it SHOULDN'T remain private if he's in a committed relationship. That's the whole point of a relationship, trust, right? He doesn't get a free pass because he blew a guy. Sorry. Not in normal land. Not if the relationship isn't open, which I doubt it is if this guy is blowing his friend on the sly.

And don't give me that intense male bonding bullshit. Male bonding isn't inherently stronger than a man and woman loving each other. What his friend did may have been beautiful and loving, but he still needs to be upfront with his girlfriend. He OWES her that. If he wants to break up with her and be with his friend he needs to DO IT. Your army situation was different, but because he wasn't honest, look where he's ended up.

I'm just SICK of the attitude that it's OK to cheat on women with guys because guys have "Special bonds" or whatever. No one gets a free pass- people are people and everyone has emotions, and the OP has to recognize there are more than just two people in this situation (which he may have- I'm not blaming or judging him, and he hasn't given us many more details so far).

Hmm, sounds like you ARE blaming and judging.

At the end of the day, we don't know anymore detail than what the OP wrote. The rest of this thread is opinion, morality, and conjecture.

 

[G-Lexington]

Assume he's straight. The sex will be a lot hotter if you do.

Lex

 

[DanimalX]

I'm just SICK of the attitude that it's OK to cheat on women with guys because guys have "Special bonds" or whatever. No one gets a free pass- people are people and everyone has emotions, and the OP has to recognize there are more than just two people in this situation (which he may have- I'm not blaming or judging him, and he hasn't given us many more details so far).

His girlfriend is actually a really good friend of mine, which is why I don't know what to do next because I don't want to hurt her. But I don't want to ignore his advances because I REALLY like him and I have for a while. Also, this is the first time I've ever done something with another guy, so its even more meaningful to me and i don;'t want it to end.

Which is why I don't know what to do about it.

 

[mbamike]

Why is it necessary to label your best friend? You two had a great night together. Bast in the afterglow.

Continue to hang out with your best friend as before. Don't pressure him into anything else sexual, just be his best friend. If he is sexual attractive to you, he'll let you know.

 

[Callum]

Personally, I'd forget about it. And, if he wants to try something like that again...bring up the past and ask him what he deal is. But be sincere.

 

[KaraBulut]

His girlfriend is actually a really good friend of mine, which is why I don't know what to do next because I don't want to hurt her...

The problem is that you have enough morals and ethics that you know exactly what to do. You're looking for a compromise option where there isn't one.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Heterosexul relationships are just as important to respect as homosexual ones. A woman has just as much right to be treated fairly as a man. Any douchebag bi who has a woman but wants a man on the side is a sexist pig.

 

[altlover85]

If this girl is a good friend of yours, don't have sex with him again unless he breaks it off with her.

 

[rareboy]

His girlfriend is actually a really good friend of mine, which is why I don't know what to do next because I don't want to hurt her. But I don't want to ignore his advances because I REALLY like him and I have for a while. Also, this is the first time I've ever done something with another guy, so its even more meaningful to me and i don;'t want it to end.

Which is why I don't know what to do about it.

Hopefully your common sense and moral compass aren't as shaky as a general rule. I'm going to put this down to you thinking only with your little head and not the one that sits on your shoulders.

You know exactly what is wrong here. You know what the right thing to do is. But what you're trawling for is permission from some anonymous avatar to keep fucking around with your boyfriend while divorcing yourself from any responsibility for hurting the other person in this triangle.

So.

Talk to your bf. Tell him that you really don't think you should be doing this stuff while he still has a girlfriend and that you don't want to hurt her.

Then just sit there and reflect on the simple fact that if he cheats on her, he will also cheat on you.

Now. How satisfying is it to know that the next time he's giving you a blowjob when you're blind drunk?

And give some careful thought to the dangers of moral ambivalence and asking for permission instead of forgiveness.