My first proper gay 'night out' - older guy manipulating younger one

[MattKansas]

I have an older friend who always has younger "straight" guys with him. He indulges them with drink after drink. BUT.. the deal is.. he also indulges his younger gay friends with drinks too, even when he knows nothing will happen. He just happens to like to be around younger people because he has more fun with them, I suppose.

I will also say that no matter HOW drunk you get someone who is completely straight nothing will happen unless they want it to. And also, the older guy is more than likely NOT going to be that stupid since the younger guy works for him. In todays society if he did, he would be able to sue the shit out of the older guy.

I also would like to say, that I am very observant when it comes to people and for people to try to pull that older guy taking advantage of younger guy crap is stupid. Both parties are part of it and know what they are looking for out of every situation.

 

[Nomenclature]

I will also say that no matter HOW drunk you get someone who is completely straight nothing will happen unless they want it to. And also, the older guy is more than likely NOT going to be that stupid since the younger guy works for him. In todays society if he did, he would be able to sue the shit out of the older guy.

Everyone knows what kind of trouble you'll get into if you rape or murder someone, but thousands of people still commit those crimes every day. That isn't really a valid argument to prove why someone with that kind of mindset wouldn't do something like that anyway.

I also would like to say, that I am very observant when it comes to people and for people to try to pull that older guy taking advantage of younger guy crap is stupid. Both parties are part of it and know what they are looking for out of every situation.

Except the guy the OP mentioned clearly didn't even know where he was.




Since he didn't even know he was in a gay bar, it's one theory to assume that the boss was trying to get him so drunk that he wouldn't remember what was happening. And even if he did remember, he could have emotionally blackmailed him by making him go into denial about the entire incident; if he pressed charges, he would have to deal with coming out.

 

[Alan]

Peeps are really overthinking this.
It was ChickenGuy's first night out in a gay bar.
He was sober.
He hasn't the experience of the drinking culture.

Get a grip everyone! (why are you all going on about rape and predatory older men for?)

If there isn't anything but a happy ending (and a few hangovers) to this story I will show my bum on the townhall steps!

In my own experience, it was a good night out by the sound of it.




*disclaimer - It isn't a good thing to get so drunk and not to be encouraged and no I don't now go out every night getting inebriated, one I can't cope with the morning after, two I'm too damned old! But I do remember having a really good time when I was a young lad getting pissed as a newt! Let people decide for themselves what they want to do. There are many worse things that they could be doing than drinking alcohol.

 

[SilverWolf]

(why are you all going on about rape and predatory older men for?)
[/SIZE]

Please show where I or others have said that predatory older men need to be watched out for.

I believe I and others have said, that in this situation the behavior looks suspicious.
And the behavior is common amongst all people gay/straight, young/old, black/white, etc...

 

[Alan]

^The title of the thread is - 'older guy manipulating younger one'.

And I already said that if you go into any bar in the town centre of a UK town you will see the same sort of flirtatious behaviour.

 

[SilverWolf]

^The title of the thread is - 'older guy manipulating younger one'.

And I already said that if you go into any bar in the town centre of a UK town you will see the same sort of behaviour.

The young guy did not know it was a gay bar. Seems a bit manipulative to me.

If this sort of behavior is common...Guys giving drinks to other guys when they don't know where they are, when they are clearly drunk already...I see why instances of people making moves on people when they are too drunk to fight or say no is so high....

 

[Alan]

SilverWolf You ought to have a night out on the beer here! You would have your eyes opened!

I don't know how you party in the US but we Brits have a way of enjoying ourselves that makes headlines all the time.

And when I was out on the drinking scene, I bought anyone that said hello to me a drink.

 

[Willie Boy]

I have an older friend who always has younger "straight" guys with him. He indulges them with drink after drink. BUT.. the deal is.. he also indulges his younger gay friends with drinks too, even when he knows nothing will happen. He just happens to like to be around younger people because he has more fun with them, I suppose.

I will also say that no matter HOW drunk you get someone who is completely straight nothing will happen unless they want it to. And also, the older guy is more than likely NOT going to be that stupid since the younger guy works for him. In todays society if he did, he would be able to sue the shit out of the older guy.

I also would like to say, that I am very observant when it comes to people and for people to try to pull that older guy taking advantage of younger guy crap is stupid. Both parties are part of it and know what they are looking for out of every situation.

Right, because the person who got them drunk will not force it to happen by raping him when he is unable to physically stop it. This is why here in America, the law realizes that getting someone drunk to have sex with them when the don't really want it IS rape. And you Brits consider US uncivilized?

 

[SilverWolf]

????

How is that manipulative? If the idea is for old/predatory/evil man to seduce him with booze, would it matter what bar they went to? You guys are reading too much into things.

Based on the OP, the young guy did not know they were going to a gay bar. He was drunk. The older guy kept giving him drinks. The old guy was horny and was turned down by the OP. The young guy is spending the night with him. They appear to be spending the night alone with each other. if anything happens the older guy can threaten the younger guy with employment, shame him by outing him to friends and family, or emotionally blackmail him in some way. If you don't see that as a manipulation of the events or highly probable future manipulation of the events, then that is your opinion.

SilverWolf You ought to have a night out on the beer here! You would have your eyes opened!

I don't know how you party in the US but we Brits have a way of enjoying ourselves that makes headlines all the time.

Going by the statistics I posted, where the the people involved knew each other, and there was drinking involved, and how this is under reported because people are too afraid or shamed to speak out in the case of date-rape, I think I'll keep my guard up thank you very much.

 

[Alan]

Going by the statistics I posted, where the the people involved knew each other, and there was drinking involved, and how this is under reported because people are too afraid or shamed to speak out in the case of date-rape, I think I'll keep my guard up thank you very much.

I don't blame you.
You sound a sensitive soul.

But let me just say that I went out every Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday night from 16 (as soon as I was earning a wage - yes, underage) to 25 years old. (Maybe cut out a night after that). And I never got date-raped, murdered, or anything else. There is very rarely a monster round every corner. And I had a bloody good time to boot. And I got up and went to work each and every day. And met many people, had loads of friends. I can't change it, and wouldn't want to!

But this is England.



Alan

 

[SilverWolf]

I don't blame you.
You sound a sensitive soul.

But let me just say that I went out every Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday night from 16 (as soon as I was earning a wage - yes, underage) to 25 years old. (Maybe cut out a night after that). And I never got date-raped, murdered, or anything else. There is very rarely a monster round every corner. And I had a bloody good time to boot. And I got up and went to work each and every day. And met many people, had loads of friends. I can't change it, and wouldn't want to!

But this is England.



Alan

Great that you seem at ease with your surroundings. I'm sure many people where I live would say the same thing. But that does not change that as often as this happens in the US, it is under reported. Not to mention, you would find it hard to find someone here, when if you replace the younger guy with a younger female, that they would see this as harmless as many of you do.

We agree to disagree, as I said with others in this thread.

 

[Nomenclature]

why are you all going on about rape and predatory older men for?

Age is irrelevant. You don't get a free pass on drugging and having sex with someone against their will just because you're insecure about being over the hill.

 

[Alan]

Great that you seem at ease with your surroundings. I'm sure many people where I live would say the same thing. But that does not change that as often as this happens in the US, it is under reported. Not to mention, you would find it hard to find someone here, when if you replace the younger guy with a younger female, that they would see this as harmless as many of you do.

We agree to disagree, as I said with others in this thread.

No problem, SilverWolf.

I like to hear other peoples opinions from around the globe. I can only speak from my own experience. We'll see what the outcome is (I hope) when ChickenGuy reports back.

I can understand where you're coming from but I think drugs are a far more serious problem and if this thread had mentioned a boss plying his staff with any sort of other chemicals then I would have had a very different attitude.

Anyway, respect to you for your opinion and nice to talk with you!

Alan

 

[Alan]

Age is irrelevant.

Agreed.

My last thoughts on this thread. It's a shame ChickenGuy had such a rotten time on his "first proper gay night out". Better luck next time eh?

Alan

 

[sd1989]

Great that you seem at ease with your surroundings. I'm sure many people where I live would say the same thing. But that does not change that as often as this happens in the US, it is under reported. Not to mention, you would find it hard to find someone here, when if you replace the younger guy with a younger female, that they would see this as harmless as many of you do.

We agree to disagree, as I said with others in this thread.

Reading back ive just realised, I think its a cultural thing, I haven't seen any one from England see any problem with this. And defiantly not anyone from England who has experience going out. So the differences are probably cultural. And as you can see not bringing any disagreements up, just something I think was missed, as if I was brought up in the US I may think the same as the US guys who have commented on this.

I also wish I had the wording skills of Alan. Who can make a point much better than my previous points!

 

[SilverWolf]

No problem, SilverWolf.

I like to hear other peoples opinions from around the globe. I can only speak from my own experience. We'll see what the outcome is (I hope) when ChickenGuy reports back.

I can understand where you're coming from but I think drugs are a far more serious problem and if this thread had mentioned a boss plying his staff with any sort of other chemicals then I would have had a very different attitude.

Anyway, respect to you for your opinion and nice to talk with you!

Alan

I see alcohol being a form of drug that loosens inhibitions and impairs judgment. I know others disagree with me on that. But that is what I see here. A boss plying his employee with alcohol when he is already drunk. I did not see in the OP him being so generous with others. Just the young guy. Not to mention them spending the night together...supposedly alone.

But it was nice talking to you and hearing your opinion.

Reading back ive just realised, I think its a cultural thing, I haven't seen any one from England see any problem with this. And defiantly not anyone from England who has experience going out. So the differences are probably cultural. And as you can see not bringing any disagreements up, just something I think was missed, as if I was brought up in the US I may think the same as the US guys who have commented on this.


I also wish I had the wording skills of Alan. Who can make a point much better than my previous points!

I agree. Perhaps its a cultural thing as most people who see this as suspicious are from the U.S. seem to agree with me that it does look suspicious.

 

[sd1989]

I see alcohol being a form of drug that loosens inhibitions and impairs judgment. I know others disagree with me on that. But that is what I see here. A boss plying his employee with alcohol when he is already drunk. I did not see in the OP him being so generous with others. Just the young guy. Not to mention them spending the night together...supposedly alone.

But it was nice talking to you and hearing your opinion.



I agree. Perhaps its a cultural thing as most from the U.S. seem to agree with me that it does look suspicious.

Yeah cultural, its easy to forget were in two different continents when its over the internet!

 

[altlover85]

Good point as far as the cultural thing goes. I'm from the US, but I tend to be a more live and let live person, plus we really don't know what happened because we weren't there.

 

[Alan]

Good point as far as the cultural thing goes. I'm from the US, but I tend to be a more live and let live person, plus we really don't know what happened because we weren't there.

True - We don't know what happened and probably never will.

 

[Under-taken]

18 year old was naive to go to a gay club, with a gay guy, who is his boss and voluntarily drinking that amount of alcohol. He's an adult, hes responsible for himself.