My mistake in life, Don't hurt yourself like me.

[slobone]

Wow... that's an amazing story. I just don't know what to think.

The part I don't understand is, why was this guy doing this? Presumably not to get money from you. Was he trying to lure you into sex? Were you underage at the time?

Or is he just a sick fuck who likes to play with people's heads?

Incidentally, the part that would have set off alarm bells for me is that the guy went into a coma and they were getting ready to pull the plug 24 hours later -- that would never happen.

Anyway, there are a lot of sick fuckers out there, and I hope this doesn't make you afraid to trust somebody again. But maybe next time, meet somebody in person before you allow things to get that far.

Hope you're doing better now anyway.

 

[bayern20]

There were a lot of signs there that this was not a good thing. Sometimes our minds play with us to make a puzzle fit, even though in reality, the pieces dont fit. If anybody starts saying they love you in the first two days, run.

 

[Christopher123]

That's so sad. And very scary. Damn, I thought *my* little internet romance was nuts.

I don't really know quite what to say except it pisses me off and breaks my heart at the same time to know you were hurt so bad over this guy.

How very sad

 

[Christopher123]

It is really hard for me to trust anyone right off the bat.. but I progressivly have done it more.. me not trusting someone lost probally the best relationship I would ever have.. The guy I was seeing moved to california for work and wont talk to me anymore because I was to scared to get hurt again.

Yeah... once bitten, twice shy.

I know the feeling.

to you.

 

[Riverrick]

Loneliness can make us do strange things and turn a blind eye to warning signs.

I would feel very used and violated and confused after something like that. I agree with no more internet romances unless its just to meet a guy within a few days in your area.

That's just a really scary and disturbing story.

 

[PieRules]

That is a very disturbing story. I'm glad you made it out okay and that you're safe. Wow, sounds like a Dateline Investigative report.

 

[confusedboy23]

I'm sorry you had to go through this but this story really did give me the chills!

I just hope things are better for you now.

 

[Christopher123]

Thank you guys for the positive responses and showing love.. i hope not fake love.. god knows i need anymore of that

There are still good people out there, despite the weirdos

 

[mexamor]

Wow, sweety I feel horrible for you. I am glad that you were not hurt worse. I think he was doing some major grooming on you. Why he changed to Adam is part of his operating mode imho. Why he stopped grooming you is hard to say. Maybe he planned on "Adam" picking up on you, I don't know. He may have been close to being caught or he stopped where he was. Maybe he was not at the point that he acted out sexually. That he was grooming you at 17 says to me that he was trying to stay under the wire.

That is just how I see it. You should not feel bad about yourself sweety. Boys aren't quite grown till around 25 or so. give yourself a break, ok. My heart breaks for you.

 

[dancedance]

Wow, that's an incredible story... I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that... I mean, how could someone just go and fuck with someone's head like that? That's just terrible. My best wishes for you.

 

[Centexfarmer]

Well please don't beat yourself up over the ordeal.

My best-friend and roommate at the time, who "knows better," met this girl online and that started an entire "romance."

I was happy for him, at first, that he had met someone that tweaked his interest.

She started sending him pictures. They IM'd back and forth, talked on the phone.

At the time I had working at a Commercial photo lab, and there was something about her pictures that seemed "too perfect" to me.

I tried to point that out to my best-friend, but he wouldn't listen. He told me that he was in love, and that at this point it didn't matter what she looked like.

I kept telling him, meet her in person! You have to meet her in person! Make sure that there's some "real chemistry" there before you go and start falling in love.

Then, every time that they planned "a real date" should would call and cancel at the last minute. Sounded like legitimate excuses even to me.

She knew where he lived, where he worked, things about me that only "friends" knew. I wasn't comfortable AT ALL!

Then one day, this girl/woman showed up at his work.

To quote my bestfriend, "She looked like a Line-Backer for the Dallas Cowboys! 6' tall and had to be pushing the far end of 350 lbs!"

The pictures that she had been sending were her, but back when she was a model, and before she put on weight from being in an abusive relationship.

She claimed that she let herself go in hopes that her abusive boyfriend (who it turned out she was still seeing), wouldn't find her attractive anymore and dump her.

It hurt me everyday to see my best-friend struggle with what to do.

He even attempted to have sex with her, to keep his commitment to his feelings about her!

Finally I told him, "No matter what she told you, no matter how you feel about that HULK of a woman, SHE LIED! An omission of the truth, is still a lie!"

He finally broke down and told her how he felt about her omission, and she up and disappeared. He never heard from her, or saw her again.

*chills*

My online experience wasn't nearly as bad, but I met this guy online, and we really hit it off.

We talked on the phone for nearly 5 hours, until he invited me out to have dinner with him.

They guy that I met online, and had such a great conversation over the phone with, with was NOTHING like the guy that I met in person.

The guy that I met in person was a total ass, and the experience went down in my journal as one of the worse dates that I had ever been on!

His parting remarks to me was, "So I suppose a fuck is out of the question?"

Ya, think?

So yeah, as much as I like people that I've met online, I don't really trust much about their feelings for me until I get the chance to meet them in person.

I'm sorry that you had such a negative experience at such a young age.








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[tonyboy]

What a story that is Cody, I've never heard anything quit like it before.
Thank God though that you were not physically hurt by it, but the emotional effect can be as devasting sometimes as physical damage.
You've learned not to be so trusting on the on-line stuff I'm sure. I hope it hasn't caused you to be too immune to accept real and true caring, and love from a guy in person.
That would be a shame.
Why on earth someone would waste his time trying to do this to another human being is beyond me. I guess we will never understand the sick and evil among us.

Thanks though for sharing this story.

Good luck to you friend, and best wishes..

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Yeah, at some point of time, you start thinking, 'I have seen it all and I have heard it all', only to find yourself very wrong the very next minute.

I have made it a firm policy to limit the long distance chatting or actually any internet chatting to the bare minimum. I do not know, how this came about. I guess, I felt it was mostly a waste of time or something.

So, yeah, we chat for the basics and agree to meet up or not within the very foreseable future. Always in public, first. And we pick it up from there...

This was indeed, a horrible way to learn about the chat room risks.

SC

 

[foolish082]

Yikes. That's scary.

 

[Christopher123]

I have no clue what I have done in my life to diserve this.. I guess it just happens to the best of us

Yes, it does, unfortunately.

That's a lot to go through and come out of it with a positive attitude, but you said you were more accepting of your own life now.

You know the old saying - that which does not kill us makes us stronger.

When something bad happens, it's sometimes hard to look past the negative aspects of the whole thing and find the positives. But they're in there... somewhere. And only you can find them.

(gawd, I sound like a shrink, lol)

But you know what I mean.

 

[Soilwork]

Whenever someone is meeting people on the internet... there's SOMETHING wrong with them.

There's no such thing as falling in love with someone you've never been in the same room with.

90% of the people on he internet are fakes.


Lessons that are hard to learn.

I used to live with a room mate who was a compulsive liar... this was before the days of the internet - he did it all on phone chat lines. But he pulled in lots of guys like that, always with another sob story and always with another way to get cash from them.

He was a genius.

But thanks for sharing your story.

Nothing beats getting out into life and meeting guys while doing something you like to do.

 

[Eagle653]

Wow, this is indeed an amazing story. I'm glad you weren't hurt any more than you were. It's amazing the creeps out there lurking on the Internet, preying on kids. It makes you sick.

It'll take time to learn to love and trust again, but you sound so level-headed that I think you'll do it because you learned from this and don't seem bound to make the same mistake twice.

I do agree with Soilwork in that I don't think it's possible to fall in love with someone you've never met. When someone, via distance, starts using the "L" word, they are either using it very sloppily, or they're in a con-game. Nothing replaces the here-and-now, real-life interactions in forming relationships.

Hang in there and welcome to our forum and JUB. I'm glad you shared this horrendous story. It's a wake-call for all of us. Thanks.

 

[Christopher123]

There's no such thing as falling in love with someone you've never been in the same room with.

Well, whether it's actual 'love' (what the hell is love, anyway?) or simply caring about another person, it does happen. And people do get hurt.

I guess it depends on how far you go in letting yourself get set up for something like that. I'll admit I was pretty vulnerable too - in the past. I've even met people in person that I talked with online. But over the last couple of years I've learned to keep my distance. I still talk to people I meet online, but ONLY over the computer. I won't do the phone thing anymore and I certainly won't do 'meeting in person' anymore and I make sure the people I talk to know this up front. No, not all of them want to meet (there are still people out there who want to chat just to communicate and have fun), but some still do. And I tell them from the get-go that I just won't go there again.

No matter how 'close' I get to people I've met online, there will always be that brick wall there. Sometimes ya gotta throw on a suit of armor. And leave it.

 

[Candyapple]

Cody, I actually cried when I read your story...I can't bear to think of anyone being as hurt as you were when you thought your friend was dead...I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that. Sometimes bad shit happens to the best people, but you're strong enough to come through this and find love and a lasting relationship with someone who'll really appreciate what a loving, caring person you are.


Lots of love and hugs!

 

[bicause]

Read Armistead Maupin:
The Night Listener