Hi All
I've been lurking for a bit and see a lot of similarities in what I'm reading from some younger guys and my own situation...wanted to tell me story in case it gives some younger guys some help/ideas.
I'm 35, happily married and have two kids whom I adore. But since I was about 12 years old I have been grappling with my "sexuality" and asking some of the questions others are asking here - mostly about str8 friends, how you get them to play with you and so on.
My first encounter with another guy came when I was 12 and in a boarding school. A group of us played with each other in a "dare" game - we got naked, got hard and took turns jerking each other off. Nothing major, just some kids having fun. But someone told someone and next thing we were all hauled before the princpal and told that we were being unnatural and couldn't do that sort of thing (by then, though, the fantasy was well locked in my brain and was great solo material!) There was one particular guy I was friendly with, and we used to go to some deserted parts of the school in the afternoon and wank together - sometimes touching each other, but mostly just watching each other and getting turned on by it.
The next year I went off to another boarding school...a very sport-oriented one, and I'm not particularly sporty so I was a bit of an outsider. We used to sleep in big dormitories - about 16 guys in beds about 3 foot away from each other, with no privacy. There was a lot of late-night jacking off going on, but it wasn't really spoken about. Occasionally guys would call the others to come and watch, shine a torch on his boner and stroke like mad for everyone to see. But no-one touched. And then on Sunday afternoons we were allowed into the dorms to have an afternoon nap - sometimes guys would whip it out and stroke it while the others watched. It always made me feel kinda horny and I loved watching their tight balls bounce up and down.
One afternoon I went to the local mall and was feeling kinda horny, so I went into the toilets and the handicapped stall at the end. I took off all my clothes and sat there, buck naked stroking like mad. Just before I came I threw my head back, and saw an older guy watching me over the top of the stall wall - I got a huge fright and tried to cover up but by this stage was coming like mad. The guy said "have fun" and disappeared. And so began my love for being naked in public places, and being watched while I jack off. To this day I still do it in public toilets - if there're holes between the stalls for guys to watch through then so much the better. Sometimes if I'm feeling really horny I'll stick my dick through a glory hole and let someone play with it. But I always return to my wife - I like the sexual release with other guys, and the feeling of wanking with a stall door open and some hot guys watching while stroking themselves. But I don't want to wake up next to any of those guys - not for one day and certainly not for the rest of my life.
I also sometimes "cruise" in my local gym, and have one guy I met there and hook up with occasionally. He's hot, we don't speak much and I just go over to his house at pre-arranged times and we play around.....no strings attached.
And now to falling in love with str8 mates....At about the same time as the mall incident (aged 14) I met two guys who became my best friends, and still are to this day, some 21 years later. Since we met I have fantasised about wanking with them, but it has never happened. We've been naked together loads of times - initially at boarding school but since then at gym, camping trips, goofing around the house, skinny dipping etc. I've seen one of them hard (once by peeking up his shorts leg, and again when he was having sex with a girl in the hotel room we were sharing...lights were dim and he thought I was asleep....I wasn't and managed to get a good peek at his throbbing cock). They're both hot as hell and have gorgeous dicks. And, I think, very straight although we have intense physical non-sexual relationships
with lots of touching and hugging.
And then there's the third friend I am in love with.
We met at University and became instant friends. He's dead cute too, with a small, tight butt and gorgeous cut cock. I've also seen him naked loads and, one night after a few too many beers, we went for a skinny dip in the sea. Afterwards we were sitting on the beach, he turned to me and asked if I'd like to suck him. Hell yeah, I did. And so I did. The feeling of his soft cock growing slowly hard in my mouth and then sliding it in and out is a memory I'll keep with me forever. He then sucked me a bit, but I could tell wasn't really into it...he was just doing it to be nice. Since then we've remained good friends, and sometimes laugh about our encounter. Might it happen again? I think so....he's also married with two kids but we're still close and there's something special between us.
But with all three of these friends there's one thing that is the most important, and that is the friendship. Although there is a sexual buzz between us I've only acted on it with one of them, and it turned out ok. But I don't want to do anything to jeapordise the friendship and so will only act on it with the others if they initiate it. Maybe I'm depriving myself of something awesome, but the friendships are awesome too and I don't want to lose them or introduce some distance between us.
so my advice to anyone "in love" or "in lust" with a str8 mate, be very very careful. Cherish the friendship, trust and love each other and maybe something more will come of it. And if it doesn't, there are plenty more fish in the sea. At the very least you'll get some naked glimpses that will feed your fantasies, but only if they trust you.
Am I gay? Maybe. Am I bi? Possibly. Am I deluding myself? No, I don't think so. I have a great family and sometimes engage in discrete encounters with other guys. As long as I'm careful and they remain discrete I think things will be ok.
Comments welcome....
I've been lurking for a bit and see a lot of similarities in what I'm reading from some younger guys and my own situation...wanted to tell me story in case it gives some younger guys some help/ideas.
I'm 35, happily married and have two kids whom I adore. But since I was about 12 years old I have been grappling with my "sexuality" and asking some of the questions others are asking here - mostly about str8 friends, how you get them to play with you and so on.
My first encounter with another guy came when I was 12 and in a boarding school. A group of us played with each other in a "dare" game - we got naked, got hard and took turns jerking each other off. Nothing major, just some kids having fun. But someone told someone and next thing we were all hauled before the princpal and told that we were being unnatural and couldn't do that sort of thing (by then, though, the fantasy was well locked in my brain and was great solo material!) There was one particular guy I was friendly with, and we used to go to some deserted parts of the school in the afternoon and wank together - sometimes touching each other, but mostly just watching each other and getting turned on by it.
The next year I went off to another boarding school...a very sport-oriented one, and I'm not particularly sporty so I was a bit of an outsider. We used to sleep in big dormitories - about 16 guys in beds about 3 foot away from each other, with no privacy. There was a lot of late-night jacking off going on, but it wasn't really spoken about. Occasionally guys would call the others to come and watch, shine a torch on his boner and stroke like mad for everyone to see. But no-one touched. And then on Sunday afternoons we were allowed into the dorms to have an afternoon nap - sometimes guys would whip it out and stroke it while the others watched. It always made me feel kinda horny and I loved watching their tight balls bounce up and down.
One afternoon I went to the local mall and was feeling kinda horny, so I went into the toilets and the handicapped stall at the end. I took off all my clothes and sat there, buck naked stroking like mad. Just before I came I threw my head back, and saw an older guy watching me over the top of the stall wall - I got a huge fright and tried to cover up but by this stage was coming like mad. The guy said "have fun" and disappeared. And so began my love for being naked in public places, and being watched while I jack off. To this day I still do it in public toilets - if there're holes between the stalls for guys to watch through then so much the better. Sometimes if I'm feeling really horny I'll stick my dick through a glory hole and let someone play with it. But I always return to my wife - I like the sexual release with other guys, and the feeling of wanking with a stall door open and some hot guys watching while stroking themselves. But I don't want to wake up next to any of those guys - not for one day and certainly not for the rest of my life.
I also sometimes "cruise" in my local gym, and have one guy I met there and hook up with occasionally. He's hot, we don't speak much and I just go over to his house at pre-arranged times and we play around.....no strings attached.
And now to falling in love with str8 mates....At about the same time as the mall incident (aged 14) I met two guys who became my best friends, and still are to this day, some 21 years later. Since we met I have fantasised about wanking with them, but it has never happened. We've been naked together loads of times - initially at boarding school but since then at gym, camping trips, goofing around the house, skinny dipping etc. I've seen one of them hard (once by peeking up his shorts leg, and again when he was having sex with a girl in the hotel room we were sharing...lights were dim and he thought I was asleep....I wasn't and managed to get a good peek at his throbbing cock). They're both hot as hell and have gorgeous dicks. And, I think, very straight although we have intense physical non-sexual relationships
with lots of touching and hugging.
And then there's the third friend I am in love with.
We met at University and became instant friends. He's dead cute too, with a small, tight butt and gorgeous cut cock. I've also seen him naked loads and, one night after a few too many beers, we went for a skinny dip in the sea. Afterwards we were sitting on the beach, he turned to me and asked if I'd like to suck him. Hell yeah, I did. And so I did. The feeling of his soft cock growing slowly hard in my mouth and then sliding it in and out is a memory I'll keep with me forever. He then sucked me a bit, but I could tell wasn't really into it...he was just doing it to be nice. Since then we've remained good friends, and sometimes laugh about our encounter. Might it happen again? I think so....he's also married with two kids but we're still close and there's something special between us.
But with all three of these friends there's one thing that is the most important, and that is the friendship. Although there is a sexual buzz between us I've only acted on it with one of them, and it turned out ok. But I don't want to do anything to jeapordise the friendship and so will only act on it with the others if they initiate it. Maybe I'm depriving myself of something awesome, but the friendships are awesome too and I don't want to lose them or introduce some distance between us.
so my advice to anyone "in love" or "in lust" with a str8 mate, be very very careful. Cherish the friendship, trust and love each other and maybe something more will come of it. And if it doesn't, there are plenty more fish in the sea. At the very least you'll get some naked glimpses that will feed your fantasies, but only if they trust you.
Am I gay? Maybe. Am I bi? Possibly. Am I deluding myself? No, I don't think so. I have a great family and sometimes engage in discrete encounters with other guys. As long as I'm careful and they remain discrete I think things will be ok.
Comments welcome....
