NO BLACKS,NO ASIANS,NO INDIANS??? Grindr is the enemy of ethnic men?

[refujiunderground]

You can think whatever you like, but someone's 'out status' informs and affects how others, like friends and family, view a relationship - or if they even know it exists. Most people do not enjoy pretending their relationships do not exist, or lieing about it or 'casually omit everything in all circumstances'. And after you're free of that you generally chafe at the bit on the idea of going back. I also think there's a difference between being closeted and just not volunteering information but answering truthfully if asked. The closet always seems to involve lieing, though.

So if you have 2 people with different views on how out they're comfortable being, that's not something you can handwave away and pretend it's all an issue of 'gay men not giving people in the closet a chance.' Because what you're really asking is "Please accept behavior that has a high chance of fucking with one's mental health."

No, the reason why I said it doesn't or it's really no different than it would be if two people who are out and about is the number of dysfunctional relationships that I've seen and heard with openly gay men. Ive heard plenty of horror stories.

Being out of the closet doesn't mean someone is couragous, brave, a stand up guy, or whatever. I've seen way too many gay guys trying to find ways to make themselves seem more desirable or superior than what they really are. It's usually the insecure weak guy that does that shit too. Theyll go after the vulnerable and go like im out and youre not so im better than you. Always saying how or why they are better than you or another gay man. That's why I don't buy it.

A closeted guy has to work on themselves. You got all these gay guys telling him what he should do, to come out and etc fronting like they will have has back. As soon as he comes out, they make a 180 and ditch that dude, act funny on him, start hating and etc. My thing is just keep it real with yourself and who you are. If you're a piece of shit, an asshole, a snake, a cunt and etc, just admit it. Too many of these gay dudes fronting like they nice, good people and etc when they are the ones who will fuck you over on some sociopathic shit where you want to bust a cap in their ass.

 

[xbuzzerx]

How is it discrimination though? If someone doesn't want to have sex with you for whatever reason, they have the right. Just like you have the right to reject someone else.

Of course they do.

The same is true of not wanting to be friends with you. Or work with you. Or live next door to you. Or give you the time of day.

If something like 40-60% of white people answered in anonymity that they "didn't want to be friends with any black people", is that just individual preference? Or is that an attitude resulting from a lifetime of negative programming about black people? All of those people just came to the same conclusion in a vaccuum? They all just happen to not like the feel of black people as friends individually?

Really just comes down to putting on a blindfold about how wider attitudes and presentation and prejudice in broader society affects individuals on the macro level, and pretending each person is utterly unique in what they think about everything and every single decision they make. No influence, not how they were raised or what they were told or what they saw their whole life, had any effect on them.

That's kinda what you're asking everyone to believe, along with everyone who pulls the "individual preference" argument to explain this static surrounding race and dating.

 

[Taralen]

There is something that I never hear anyone bring up...and it used to bug the fuck out of me. I brought it up all the time when it happened.....

I have always known exactly what I like...and it isn't about race. It is about the guy's vibe...attitude.....personality...sexual chemistry....appearance matters a bit but it is a distant #5....

So here is the thing. You are out with a Black Man....or a Latin....or Asian....or Polynesian...or Middle Eastern Man...an you get this question:

I didn't know you liked _________________________ men.......

??????????

Uh...like they aren't all INDIVIDUALS........WTF???????

I like INDIVIDUALS who I have chemistry with in any race....

I [STRIKE]think[/STRIKE] KNOW I have it right....and people who assume other things can bite me....

I think it is rude and racist to sum up anyone according to their race.....without ever looking at each person as the individual that they are.

"I didn't know you liked [Insert ethnicity here] guys.":Yeah this one is kinda messed up, like you can read my mind or something. It's more of a gossip term that your friends might use on you. It's not just that. "I didn't know you liked daddies." "I didn't know you were into twinks". etc. I guess unless that person said something in the past that made someone want to say that, it's very rude to say that.

"I don't usually date [Insert ethnicity here] guys.":To me I don't find this that rude or impolite to say. There could be many reasons as to why they don't. Not necessarily on racial reasons. Again, "I don't usually date bears". "I don't usually date people I work with", "I don't usually date younger guys". Could be many reasons.

"You're cute for a [Insert ethnicity here] guy.":I used to be really bothered by this, now I'm not at all. Because yes, I am cute for a black guy, you didn't have to tell me, but oh well nobody is perfect. I mean we're all gay right, that's in imperfection in itself lol.I'll take it as a compliment. Maybe he's seen some ugly black guys, they exist lol. Ugly isn't always bad, There are ugly guys that are probably monsters in bed. Same for, "You're cute for a skinny guy", "You're cute for a chubby guy", "You're cute for a short guy".

But I guess to some insecure people, that's considered a head for the exit sign statement. I have no problem feeling fetishsized as interracial dating is a fetish within itself again. lol.

 

[MorrisseyX]

I'm glad Morissey agrees with me. Even though you disagree with me, you are allowed to, and it's fine. However,

What do you mean exclusively date white guys?

Not only is it rare to see many openly gay black guys here in LA. The ones I do deal with don't date other black guys. The ones that do, aren't here in LA. They are in Atlanta or DC or Chicago. Also another issue.

Most of the guys that deal with me whether they are white, black, yellow or chartreuse, gay or straight always say "you fem acting faggot" something along those lines, and think of me as a clown or as if I'm a contestant for amateur hour and I'm disposable.

The guys that I've noticed that don't seem to have an issue with me, are older white guys, preferably guys that are overweight or goofy or nerdy looking. These type of guys still reject me, but they at least smile back at me and will go out for a drink or let me get high or drunk with them once in a while.

Most of the homophobia and being called faggot, is by other black men, gay or straight. White guys are still homophobic to me. However most won't call me faggot to my face, usually they will use this thread as an example, like "Grindr", or just not give me eye contact.

Sorry, the Idris Elba type black guys even though I find them attractive, don't like me back.

The three gay asians that I have personally known in real life, are all in long term relationships with white or non asian men.

Also I think you mean as closeted guys as masculine guys. Open guys as feminine or submissive guys.

Feminine guys like myself cannot be closeted at all. Consciously or subconsciously. But masculine guys are just naturally closeted. So I think that's where the issue and argument is.

My problem with masculine closeted guys is that many are married men and many just want to use you as a sex pillow.

This is a good point SOME openly gay black men want nothing to do with other black men! The openly gay black guys they seem really into the gay scene. When i go out in Toronto i see plenty of interracial gay couples BUT i have never seen a gay black couple in Toronto. I have also seen it with my own eyes the dirty looks and attitude I have seen from SOME openly gay black men. So what options does a brother got? I recall a tall black guy I always see in steamworks in Toronto this guy is good looking BUT his attitude stinks. The other poster claiming excuses must have a plethora of black gay men he knows. I do not know where he lives. But depending on where you live things can be limiting.

 

[MorrisseyX]

How is it discrimination though? If someone doesn't want to have sex with you for whatever reason, they have the right. Just like you have the right to reject someone else.

Why would you want to have sex with someone that doesn't like you anyway? Wtf is that? Have some self respect. And just because someone has sex with you doesn't mean anything in terms of being less of a racist. There's guys who fetishize dudes based on their skin color and ethnicity.


Some of you non-white guys are so pathetic that you will do anything to get accepted by white people to the point where you're willing to shit on yourselves.

I'm not a sex object. I demand respect. If you don't want to sleep with me or deal with me, that is fine but you better respect me. If you do disrespect me, I have my options on how to deal with that. I might let it slide or I might beat you up depending on the situation and the person. Some gay guys think this shit is a game until they run across the wrong person and have to wake up.

For real, I think this whole sexual discrimination bullshit is just manipulating somebody to fuck them. If someone is racist, let them be. That makes it easier for you because you get to disassociate yourself with them.

I think you ignore the fact in the gay male community depending in the city or town you live there is a racial stratification. A white man can say he will not fuck no blacks and no Asians. And since the man is white and the majority he KNOWS if he is at least decent looking he is going to have a pool of white guys to choose from. Now as a black gay man in Toronto when I enter a bathhouse or a gay sex space like a porn theatre I got to wonder "I hope some people here are sexually attracted to black men." When I enter gay spaces I am a minority not because I want to be the only black guy or one of two black guys in the joint. The fact is I KNOW as a black man I will be a minority. So as a minority my sexual choices are more limiting. If I said I will ONLY have sex with a black guys in Toronto my sex life would be chronically limited. I can count on one hand how many black men I had sex with this year THREE People! I fucked a black kid and he gave me a good blow job a few months ago. Last month an African guy sucked me off real good at a bathhouse. The third black guy I sucked him off and he blew me back. Now do I want to have sex with more black men? Of course I do! But where would I find these guys when many black gay men are closeted in Toronto ? Do you know how many DL black guys in Toronto too much drama. I do NOT want to deal with anyone involved with a woman. This is why I prefer anonymous sex.

 

[refujiunderground]

Of course they do.

The same is true of not wanting to be friends with you. Or work with you. Or live next door to you. Or give you the time of day.

If something like 40-60% of white people answered in anonymity that they "didn't want to be friends with any black people", is that just individual preference? Or is that an attitude resulting from a lifetime of negative programming about black people? All of those people just came to the same conclusion in a vaccuum? They all just happen to not like the feel of black people as friends individually?

Really just comes down to putting on a blindfold about how wider attitudes and presentation and prejudice in broader society affects individuals on the macro level, and pretending each person is utterly unique in what they think about everything and every single decision they make. No influence, not how they were raised or what they were told or what they saw their whole life, had any effect on them.

That's kinda what you're asking everyone to believe, along with everyone who pulls the "individual preference" argument to explain this static surrounding race and dating.

To me, prejudice is different than racism. Racism is the actual action of implementing discriminatory practices in an societial or institutional setting against a group of people because of their race. Prejudice is when someone is biased in favor or against a someone for whatever reason.

I don't think someone's prejudices towards a group where they refuse to have sex with them or having sex with them because they see them as some exotic thing due to their ancestral or ethnic origin is holding them back in life like racism does.

We all want to be accepted and not rejected. The difference is knowing when it's an serious issue where you can't sidestep it or imposes a threat or danger on your life or the quality of life you have vs you can ignore whoever is prejudiced against you.

There is racism in the gay community which does impact the lives and quality of life of those that it affects but I think that it's not being addressed properly or in the proper context for the entire group. Instead, it's being addressed by individuals who make the issue about themselves and not receiving sex or acceptance from white people. That to me is a problem. Why is it that so many non white gay guys want to be accepted and embraced by gay white people. Why are putting them on a pedestal because they are white? Then that goes back to the people who are in control of the media representations for gay men basically centering the whole gay experience or lgbt universe around gay white men. The excuses behind that bullshit is basically "its because America and Europe or the places we care about arr mostly filled with white people so that automatically means most gay people in the world are white so we must focus on them". That's the racism that should be addressed. It's gotten so bad that we have people claiming and making wild assumptions such as most gay black men being closeted and there are more out white gay men. The lies are only just created to manipulate and keep the lgbt community under the control of some gay white men who might be holding some kkk memberships.

And of course, you know most gay white guys don't give a fuck because that white privilege has them comfortable. It benefits them.

This is the racism that needs to be addressed.

http://www.jake-talks.com/jake-voic...bearable-whiteness-of-the-gay-rights-movement

I assume that if there same non white guys complaining about sexual discrimination would be quiet and claim racism doesn't exist in the lgbt if they had a white guy on their arm. That's the problem. Folks are making a real issue about their own self interest.

 

[-Kane-]

The guys that I've noticed that don't seem to have an issue with me, are older white guys, preferably guys that are overweight or goofy or nerdy looking. These type of guys still reject me, but they at least smile back at me and will go out for a drink or let me get high or drunk with them once in a while.

This was beyond depressing to read. Are you truly that repulsive to most men? The affection of old, overweight goofy looking white men is your prize after all other efforts are exhausted? Serious question, how is your self esteem? Could your negative perception of yourself be a factor in your dating life?

 

[pat grimshaw]

....http://www.jake-talks.com/jake-voic...bearable-whiteness-of-the-gay-rights-movement...

Self-satisfied, Rich, Bourgeous, Botoxed, Capitalists.

They go to restaurants where they can experience Multicultural dining and they experience Diversity by going on holiday every year to the Caribbean where they can look at poor people from the ships deck.

They've got a good porn collection and they've got lap-dogs (both human and canine).

 

[Taralen]

This was beyond depressing to read. Are you truly that repulsive to most men? The affection of old, overweight goofy looking white men is your prize after all other efforts are exhausted? Serious question, how is your self esteem? Could your negative perception of yourself be a factor in your dating life?

I have good self esteem, it's just I'm not really into the whole gym scene or any of that. It seems if you want a masculine type athletic guy, you have to be involved with the gym culture and all of that.

You think I should be ashamed or embarrassed to be with these types of guys? Why?

I can't be picky anymore, and as long as he treats me right and we have stuff in common, I don't care if he's white, black, green, orange, fat, skinny, short, tall, has muscles or is more fluffy and heavier etc.

 

[Marco Sensual]

What does he mean by that?That black men have to proove that they are not all violent,killers,thugs,homophobic,ect... ? Then,if they proove that they are not any of that,he would accept to date black men?

This man just shows that he is very superficial.So,ethnic men can be hot as long as they dont look too ethnic? So,this man can cherry pick on ethnic men he thinks are hot and ignore most ethnic men?

This man is just pretentious.He quite put himself on a pedestal.He is not bad looking.But,he aint all that either.

Yes! Men on the downlow are the worst.Mostly when they are racist.

Possibly 1 of the most racist comment on grindr.

Of course you are not racist.Its just your (((preference)))

What about masculine hairy sucessful HIV- men?

No comment.

Racism,masculism and ageism also.Well,he is your tipical superficial gay man.

Feminine men can be funny.

These men just shows that grindr is a big joke.Grindr is basically the house of bigoted gay men.How can these men feel good about themselves after insulting so many gay men.Mostly when these men are not even gay porn material.Then,they dare to be picky and judgmental.Grindr gives gay men a bad name.

 

[Marco Sensual]

What does he mean by that?That black men have to proove that they are not all violent,killers,thugs,homophobic,ect... ? Then,if they proove that they are not any of that,he would accept to date black men?

This man just shows that he is very superficial.So,ethnic men can be hot as long as they dont look too ethnic? So,this man can cherry pick on ethnic men he thinks are hot and ignore most ethnic men?

This man is just pretentious.He quite put himself on a pedestal.He is not bad looking.But,he aint all that either.

Yes! Men on the downlow are the worst.Mostly when they are racist.

Possibly 1 of the most racist comment on grindr.

Of course you are not racist.Its just your (((preference)))

What about hairy white men?

No comment.

Racism,masculism and ageism also.Well,he is your tipical superficial gay man.

Feminine men can be funny.

These men just shows that grindr is a big joke.Grindr is basically the house of bigoted gay men.How can these men feel good about themselves after insulting so many gay men.Mostly when these men are not even gay porn material.Then,they dare to be picky and judgmental.Grindr gives gay men a bad name.

Is there a straight version of grindr.Im curious to know if straight men are as picky and judgmental as gay men.Are straight men really more open than gay men when it comes to race?

 

[pat grimshaw]

...

[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

Are all these stolen pictures?

Are they out of date?

Have all these men had sufficient publicity?

 

[Taralen]

Is there a straight version of grindr.Im curious to know if straight men are as picky and judgmental as gay men.Are straight men really more open than gay men when it comes to race?

Yes it's called Tinder. But gay people use it too sometimes.

Sadly yes to your second statement. Because heterosexuality is natural and normal and it's less issues around it. Reason why there are hardly any videos of gay interracial couples, but thousands of youtube videos of straight interracial couples.

 

[xbuzzerx]

To me, prejudice is different than racism. Racism is the actual action of implementing discriminatory practices in an societial or institutional setting against a group of people because of their race. Prejudice is when someone is biased in favor or against a someone for whatever reason.

100% agree with you. The reinventing and casualizing of the meaning of racism down to "anything that made me feel bad about my group" is a way that white people downplay the actual extent of systemic racism, and claim to be equal victims of racism... and claim that racism goes every which way and no one particularly is guilty of it.

I don't think someone's prejudices towards a group where they refuse to have sex with them or having sex with them because they see them as some exotic thing due to their ancestral or ethnic origin is holding them back in life like racism does.

It's not, for me, about affixing a sticker label of "racist" to every person who hasn't slept with a black, Asian, or whatever other kind of man. It's about acknowledging that it's not just individual preference. The notion that a whole race of people is totally unattractive comes from a lifetime of (non)exposure and a prejudiced, exclusionary beauty standard seen everywhere in modelling, advertisements, television, movie casting and everywhere else, over our entire lives. The constant bombarding (or, in the case of the commonly excluded groups, the marked non-bombardment) of images of "beautiful people" and seeing a flurry of white and tanned white faces and bodies everywhere in our society and in most of our entertainment informs these so called "individual preferences."

It's as I stated at the beginning... if it were just "individual preference" we should see all kinds of exclusions in different mixtures and combinations in pretty much equal numbers. We don't. We see "no blacks no Asians." Over. And over. And over.

 

[-Kane-]

I'm actually thankful for apps like Grindr and other social media experiments. They've essentially proven what I've been saying about privileged white gay men for years. When left to their own devices they are cynically bitter, racist, narcissistic and entitled. And the few white gay men who call them out only do so because they've been either rejected by them, or they can't be them.

 

[Kabluey]

I'm actually thankful for apps like Grindr and other social media experiments. They've essentially proven what I've been saying about privileged white gay men for years. When left to their own devices they are cynically bitter, racist, narcissistic and entitled. And the few white gay men who call them out only do so because they've been either rejected by them, or they can't be them.

Say, you don't think that maybe, just possibly, it's a place where douche bags want to hook up with each other?

Or would you like to keep insisting racism, bitterness and narcissism on the half of others seemingly without irony?

 

[MorrisseyX]

I don't think people should take it personally. If someone has a grindr profile that says they prefer certain races that is that person prerogative. But I think the anger people have is the racism that some white gays have by trying to belittle men of colour. Okay you are not into black or Asian men but why be make a racist comment like no rice or chocolate? But then again NOT everyone is like this. Also why would anyone want to talk to someone with a racist grindr profile anyway? Let people be some people may think they are better by being offensive but they just show their true colours. And isn't that good? I would not want to talk to a racist anyway. Shonda Rhodes told Oprah in an interview on youtube "when people show you who they are believe them". When you see people being racist on grindr just avoid them. One thing people are ignoring is the black guy on the grindr pics on this thread who also wants to avoid men of colour. Why no discuss about that? If we are going to have an honest discussion about race and sex why ignore the prejudices men of colour have towards each other? Here is a video of an Asian gay man talking about Grindr. He makes some good points BUT as the comments on this youtube channel point out. People asked WHY is this Asian gay man so upset? commentators on Youtube also said would this Asian gay man EVER consider dating another Asian? Would he give another man of colour a chance or is he just upset white men reject him on Grindr? He mentions he wears glasses to hide his Asian heritage as well in the video. Link to Youtube video:

 

[MorrisseyX]

In this video a black gay man talks about his experiences on Grindr. However, people on this Youtube channel also criticized the black man as well because they felt his comments were not genuine or sincere. Some commentators on Youtube said this black man would probably not give another black man a chance. Here is the link to Youtube video:

 

[Taralen]

This is the best one.

 

[Taralen]

This one is also good.