Non Experimenting Curious Straight Guys

[AngelFromAbove]

I really hate labels because of the need to pre-judge people, but like previously said, all people are all different in character. I consider myself bi-curious. I'm divorced, love gay porn, still into women but never did it with a guy. I probably would get into something softcore like a sensual massage, erotic wrestling, mutual BJ or oral but that's it... for now at least.

If I get a partner, he'll know right off the bat that it's a friendship not a quick fix, I keep my porn stash for that. I believe there is more to a person than just getting ya rocks off. As far as a relationship goes, I'll let my partner know from the begining my intentions, that way it's not mis-construed down the road. Some call being bi "confusion and choatic", I call it "the best of both worlds", if you are confident with yourself about it. I think that matters most.

I like you.

 

[DennisThePennis]

I love gay porn, but never did it with a guy.

I call being bi "the best of both worlds", if you are confident with yourself about it.

You love gay porn, but never did with a guy??

You are clearly sexually attracted to women AND men. Why not act on it? Still not confident with yourself eh?

 

[Romantico]

Bluealternative, I like you too! Well said!

 

[wtever]

Southern boy -- do what you feel. The desires won't go away. If you want a marriage and family, go for it...but you'll probably aways long for a little dick on the side. And in my opinion -- that doesn't make you "gay" and doesn't preclude marriage. Life is not so black and white.

Just accept yourself -- enjoy your porn and have a rich fantasy life -- trust me, all married guys do (straight, bi, or whatever). One day though, your cock lust may compel you to act. If it does, accept it, own it, and just be careful. Set your terms...know what you want, and don't just settle for the first horny guy who comes along.

Above all, though, don't listen to anyone who calls it cheating or tells you to share the concept with your spouse, etc...moralistic judgments usually come from people who only imagine the possibilities and have little to do with reality or good advice.

With a little luck, you'll meet up with some lucky guy one day who is also in your situation...you'll explore each other sexually, and you'll develop a great friendship. It won't challenge your masculinity or marriage -- in fact, it will make you feel more complete and more alive than ever.

It took me several years -- but I'm there, and wouldn't change a thing about my life. My friend and I are never going to pick out drapes and we both adore the women in our lives (and continue to have great hetero sex)...but we also love getting together whenever we can be alone...and our relationship is amazingly hot.

Just know you're far from alone -- stay open to possibilities and you'll find your own happiness.

 

[str8tgycurious]

Count me in the straight curious, but non experimenting crowd. If I was single I'd probably experiment, but I'm married and have a daughter and don't want to lose my family life. I fantasize about sucking cock and other things, and jerk off occasionaly to gay porn that I fit into these fantasies. Sites like this provide an outlet for me .
For those that think I should just share this side of me with my wife; after freaking out about this "perversion" she would take my daughter and leave within minutes of me sharing this. I love her and know her well and want to stay married. This is my secret for life.

 

[wanderer]

^^ totally agree with your decision. there are some things in marriage that the best thing to do is say nothing.....ever.

 

[Lube]

Count me in the straight curious, but non experimenting crowd. If I was single I'd probably experiment, but I'm married and have a daughter and don't want to lose my family life. I fantasize about sucking cock and other things, and jerk off occasionaly to gay porn that I fit into these fantasies. Sites like this provide an outlet for me .
For those that think I should just share this side of me with my wife; after freaking out about this "perversion" she would take my daughter and leave within minutes of me sharing this. I love her and know her well and want to stay married. This is my secret for life.

My ex-wife refuses to talk to me, even though I think we could be great friends.

Would that have prevented me from divorcing her and having sex with men?

In a word: no.

Why are you hanging on?

 

[iamyour1fan]

Ok, maybe you can all help me figure this out, I am new here.

1. I am married 13 years w/kids
2. I love sex with women
3. I enjoy watching and jerking off to gay and bi porn, esp. like to watch bareback.
4. I also enjoy straight porn.
5. I do not find men sexually attractive in real life, unless they are fit, well endowed and clean (not hairy).
6. I have never been with a man.
7. I do enjoy cam2cam with men to jerk off 2
8. Here is the kicker, I really enjoy wearing my wife's lingerie, using her viberator and masterbating, sometimes taking photos and such.
9. I do not pass as a cd or care to go out and dress as one, I think its more of a fetish? Not sure what it is???


What does all this mean????????

 

[AngelFromAbove]

Ok, maybe you can all help me figure this out, I am new here.

1. I am married 13 years w/kids
2. I love sex with women
3. I enjoy watching and jerking off to gay and bi porn, esp. like to watch bareback.
4. I also enjoy straight porn.
5. I do not find men sexually attractive in real life, unless they are fit, well endowed and clean (not hairy).
6. I have never been with a man.
7. I do enjoy cam2cam with men to jerk off 2
8. Here is the kicker, I really enjoy wearing my wife's lingerie, using her viberator and masterbating, sometimes taking photos and such.
9. I do not pass as a cd or care to go out and dress as one, I think its more of a fetish? Not sure what it is???


What does all this mean????????

To me, it would seem as if you are bisexual as you have said that you do find men attractive, and you have an ideal or type. For whatever reason(s), you never had intimate contact with a man, but you still have the attractions. As far as using your wife's vibrator and dressing in her lingerie, those are completely separate from your attractions to men.

Anal stimulation has nothing to do with where one's sexual attractions lie. The same goes for wearing female apparel and garments; this is probably, as you said, a fetish. Did this help?

 

[Lube]

Well, first of all, I am not a psychologist.

It's usually straight guys that are into transvestitism, while gay guys do drag (they are completely different things).

The fact that you only like certain types of guys does not make you any less bi or gay. I certainly have my preferences, as do most gays/bi's.

It's good that you've never been with a man, since you like the concept of barebacking. That's the riskiest gay sex of all. If you do ever engage in it, you must be honest with your wife, otherwise you're putting her at an unacceptable risk.

BTW, I came out after 14 years of marriage. Didn't make me any less gay.

 

[iamyour1fan]

Ok, thanks for some great replies...I guess maybe i should elaborate a little more.

I guess to add to the above comments of mine.

1. I don't find men attractive so to say, but i do find a man's hard thick cock attractive to put it bluntly. I have quite often fantasized about oral and giving and recieving, there is something exciting about just imagining my lips around a clean, cut, hard cock. of course I am just imagining it would be great, no exp.
2. As for bareback, I enjoy watching it, but would probably never do it, I think it is real hot to see it happen and I would imagine it be great to have someone orgasm inside of you. But I would never do it because of the safety factor. I liken it to having sex with a women and not wanting to use a condom, it just feels better natural, but there are to many issues if you are not protected.
3. My wife gives me great sex and she has even gotton more experimental as she gets older, but my issue is I need sexual release daily, I have my whole life, sometimes 2 a day, of course she is not able to keep up yet, so I jerk off alot and I am always looking to find new means of stimulation, I think bi/gay videos was a new idea for me which I really enjoy and it really make me cum hard. The vibrater was just a add on for me as I found it really feels good inside me and make my orgasm that much better.
4. The dressing up is something that is a real turn on for me, I am not passable, but the feel of silk nylons/panties and lingerie is so overwhelmingly good feeling, and I find that when I cam2cam with other men they really enjoy seeing me dressed up.


Does this help??? lol...I love this site...

 

[Lube]

I can't say whether this is you or not, but what typically happens with gay men trapped in a marriage to a woman, is that the sex with the wife becomes less and less able to make you cum as you get older. And the curiosity to have sex with men only grows strong and stronger.

You'll find lots of gay guys here who are in their 40s and used to be married. I was surprised at how many, actually. (I count myself among them, FYI)

 

[iamyour1fan]

Hmm, well, I can honeslty say I still enjoy sex with wife and love being married. I am not sure this is all just some major fetish to get me off??lol

 

[sometimesitbethatway]

after all the reading I've done on the 4 pages of this thread, I feel more comfortable with what I've been dealing with. I also am married (well separated now but not for any bi reasons, I still havent had that talk with her) but we were together for 7 years, married for 4. I was completely in love with her and attracted to her but I also got off on looking at men on the net. I never thought of men during sex with her and I loved sex with her often. I've heard many guys here say they do this and wouldnt really or think they wouldnt want to do anything physically with a guy. If anything, I wouldn't want a dick in my ass or my dick in any ass, thats for sure.
This is how I feel too. It's very complicated but now that I know other guys feel this way, I feel less of a freak. I don't really care about classification or labels, but I feel comfortable thinking of myself as bi. Afterall, I can't deny my attraction to men as well as women, or the fact that I can get off looking at naked men. Maybe it is just a fetish....

 

[screwnutty]

It's the 21 century. Do what feels good....you know within reason and within the law. I do feel though that the "bi" person in the relationship should tell his/her partner the truth and talk it out. But life isn't always simple, now is it. I guess I don't really know much about being Bi, as I know I'm gay. I have strong feelings for guys and as for girls....nothing. I know it's harder to be a bi guy then a gay guy. Simply because most bi's are usually not trusted by either camps (gay or straight). I've only had one relationship with a bi guy. It worked out nicely until the end, when he felt the pressure of settling down, having kids and pleasing his family. When he found the girl...I was dropped like yesterday's newspaper. He avoids me and has even managed to turn some of our former friends against me. All by saying that I was trying to convert him to the gay lifestyle. But he managed to escape thanks to his girlfriend and god. Oh well...that's how the cookie crumbles. No sense in crying over spilled milk. I just hope that maybe he was just curious or something. I'd hate to see him have kids and then feel bad (you know what I mean?!) He broke my heart but I don't hold any ill will against him now. I truly hope he lives a good life.

 

[sometimesitbethatway]

that sucks and I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. See that's the thing with me.. I know what I want. I want to settle down and have kids, I don't have a real desire to be with a man, it's just something I can get off on thinking about... it's really strange. But I don't deny it either, I can't walk around saying I am not gay or not bi (labels are really confusing as well) I could label myself curious but what am I curious about? I can get an erection from looking at a naked man so obviously I have homosexual tendencies.... so I say bi but with every intent on leading a "straight" lifestyle.... I don't want to hurt anyone.
To be honest what brought me to the need to be more open about this was watching Brokeback Mountain and how SAD every character in that movie is. I think what Heath Ledger's character did to Michelle Williams' was selfish and wrong and I don't want that either. That's why I think being open and upfront about what I am is the best idea.

 

[Lube]

To be honest what brought me to the need to be more open about this was watching Brokeback Mountain and how SAD every character in that movie is. I think what Heath Ledger's character did to Michelle Williams' was selfish and wrong and I don't want that either. That's why I think being open and upfront about what I am is the best idea.

Well that's a wonderful and honest way of looking at it.

And before you say, "I can't imagine having a relationship with a man" I suggest you try it. That was one of my rationalizations for why I "couldn't be gay"--I couldn't imagine that relationship thing.

But you have to get out and meet some gay men. You'll find gay men are generally much more tender, loving, and cuddly than straight men.

So don't think of it as having a relationship with a straight man you know (like your ex-brother-in-law or something). You have to really experience the qualities of a gay man. We are definitely not like straight men.

 

[sometimesitbethatway]

ha ha the funny thing is my best friend came out last year. So through all of his gay friends I know gay guys and they don't bother me but I still feel unsure of anything physical. Not that I rule it out. It's all about what I feel comfortable with I guess.

Funny thing you mention my ex-brother in law. ha ha my best friend thinks he is gay. He's got all the "qualities" or "signs" I guess you would say. And one time I logged onto their family computer and in the history popped up a bunch of gay stories like gay fiction stories or whatever. So I think my brother-in-law may have some secrets

 

[Lube]

LOL, yes, we all have secrets!

It's probably no coincidence that your best friend is gay. After I came out, I got in touch with some old friends (high school, college, etc.), and a surprisingly large number of them turned out to be gay and lesbian.

Our gaydar is better than we realize.

 

[sometimesitbethatway]

gaydar ha ha. its weird I sometimes meet "straight" guys that seem to put off some sort of bi vibes as well... like they are like me, straight for the most part but have wandering eyes and thoughts in their head... it's strange.