It truly is that hyper-masculinity that guys want. They want a tough guy who doesn't remind them that they themselves are not the toughest guy on the planet. They want a guy like they see in the movies with the leading ladies, a guy who's just laid back, carefree, and emotionally unavailable most of the time, though game for sex all of the time.
But most of all they want what is unattainable. That hot jock that they saw walking the halls in high school but was more likely to address them as fag or ignore them altogether than to say "what's up". They love the challange of finally getting that recongnition perhaps through a blowjob well done. Demeaning yes, but all a part of the cheap thrill that I suspect at least nearly 50% of the guys on this site go for.
Personally I'm not obsessed with straight guys because I prefer to steer clear of too much masculinity. I find hyper-masculinity is often associated with very low emotional intelligence. That's why women often find themselves bored and lonely with their ultra masculine husbands a number of years into the relationship. It occurs to them that while they have snagged the tough, scruffy, doesn't give a damn jock they'd been hoping for, when it comes right down to it he doesn't have much to offer beyond his looks and steely demeanor. He's just a guy's guy. A man who is as concerned about being mr. macho as a gay guy might be about how he looks in the mirror. Either way he's stuck on himself and hard to talk to.
That isn't all straight guys by any means and it even covers some gay/bisexual men pretty well to be honest.
Not that any of this matters to most of the gay men who pursue sex with straight men. After all, it's really all about the fucking then, not relationships. Getting a straight guys dick in your mouth is the important thing because he's a REAL man, not a femmy fag or, dare I say, a slight reflection of yourself.
When considering all this it makes me wonder if perhaps straight guys have been right all along in being scared of homosexuals. I've noticed some of the guys on this site are very predatory when it comes to snagging them a straight.
This is a brilliant and insightful essay. Great observations!
I have a friend who when he was in high school was voted Best Looking and Best Dressed. All the girls liked him and he was a popular guy, even if he was one of the head cases.
Okay, cut to now... He has admitted that he has never read a book in his entire life! How fucking pathetic is that?
He doesn't seem to have any real interests or accomplishments, other than doing what he was doing in high school--getting fucked up and fucking women. His life is a mess, he's divorced, has a criminal record.
And it all started with him being so popular. Maybe these popular types get spoiled early and have no incentive to push for success. He's a loser, sad to say.
I've been guilty in the past of trying for people I could not have. I believe it's partly recreation of childhood. Humans recreate what they know. There's a comfort in what we know even if that comfort was painful! That's why women who've been beaten by men wind up marrying the same type of man over and over.
A gay guy in junior high and high school is in a situation where he is "the only one" and "everybody else" is straight. He's the odd man out who can't have what he wants.
Cut to later on as an adult, he will repeat that same pattern to bring up the old feelings and scenarios and old drama. Why? Because it's what he KNOWS. He knows what it's like to be the only one, the one longing for what he can't have.
When I came to that insight, my life got WAYYYY better. I realized I was sabotaging my happiness for the sake of replicating that old scenario from Junior and Senior High.
Today I don't do that. I still like me some masculine men! LOL But I don't throw myself at them. I don't put myself in a position where I'm longing for what I cannot have. That's self-destruction. That's pain. And pain is unfortunately what most gays know early on and seek to repeat the old times. Pain is "home."
