Officical "Curious" Guy Thread...

[cman21]

im just curious

 

[propoolplayer99]

Curiousity kills.

 

[TylerDurden222]

i forgot about this thread! so nice to see other straight guys with these feelings. dont you ever wonder, how many of my close friends think this way? i dont know anyone who claims to be bi, but i have hundreds of friends, at least one of them must be like me!

 

[Wtc50e]

I'm curious I tried it once and I really realy really didn't like it.

Although I still browse theses sites and get turned on by guys I still like my ladies too...so eh who knows if I'll ever try again :\

 

[hanzosword]

I'm very curious too. It was a big step for me to even register for this forum and start actually posting. I have never done anything with a guy but I really want to. I started noticing guys notice me about my junior year of high school but I was always too shy and scared to make a move. These were like the hot and popular guys too who would give me "the look" and always find some way to touch me. They would do things like grab my dick, balls and butt all the time, in a joking way of course because they were all straight.

I don't think I could have done anything with them anyway though unless I had gotten really close to them. It wasn't until recently that I started to think I could actually love another guy and be with him.

 

[quasar]

This is a really interesting read, and I'm pleased that you've found this place where you can discuss this without judgement. I've got a couple of questions that have come to mind...

At what age did you realise you were curious? For most gay people it seems to become apparent in our teens as we're developing our own identities. Was it the same for you, or did the realisation come later in life?

Those of you that want to have an experience with a guy, would it be with a similar curious/straight guy, or would it be with a gay/bisexual guy?

Dave

 

[TylerDurden222]

great responses guys. i'm really not sure i could ever actually pull the trigger w/ a guy, but i love my bi/gay websites!

 

[hanzosword]

At what age did you realise you were curious?

I guess I realized I was curious when I was 12 and saw my first porno magazine. It was straight porn but I was just as turned on by the men as I was by the women.

Those of you that want to have an experience with a guy, would it be with a similar curious/straight guy, or would it be with a gay/bisexual guy?

Dave

I don't think it would matter if I could be a curious guy or a gay/bi guy as long as he is pretty masculine.

 

[closet case]

Like others, I'm physically attracted to men but could never see myself being emotionally attracted to men. I can't explain why. It's just the way I am. I'm married with a couple kids. I've messed around with a couple guys in high school (j/o, oral), and even messed around a few times in my adult years (also j/o and oral).

The times in my adult years were with people I met off cruising sites (this was before I met my wife). Didn't care for those experiences. It was just awkward being that close with someone you just met. I always thought it would be cool to find another man in my same situation and become casual friends, at least get to know each other a bit but keep it no strings. We could meet off to the side from time to time to fool around, then go back to our regular lives. I know some on here would object to this because I'm married, and I accept that. I'm not even saying I'd actually go through with it. Fantasy is different than reality.

Great thread!

 

[Red-X-Robin]

well I think i'm mostly straight and I like girls, but i also like gay porn. Does that make any sense?

I always had fantasies about some of my guy friends. Then i got into working out a lot and started noticing i REALLY liked looking at in shape guys. I always preferd porn with good-looking guys, and then finally I started watching gay porn where the guys are usually hot. Now i like all kinds: gay, bi, straight and yeah even lesbo porn

Since i was a kid I always had some fantasies about cute guys I knew. But doing stuff w/a guy is something else. i would jerk off thinking about some of my guy friends, but when I was around them i wouldn't feel anything! Not the same with girls, i was always very attracted to them

A couple times I tried some guy-guy sex play with friends and a cousin when i was around 14/15 (thats another thread right there). I dont know if i'd do it now w/a guy though.

So i guess what i'm trying to say is I'm really fucking confused LOL

 

[nuclear warhead]

you're all gay

if you're thinking about it this much, and even watching gay porn , you are gay

i'm gay and never think about women in that way. i imagine it's the same for straight men

much as i would like to believe this - lord knows it's every gay guy's fantasy to be with a str8 guy - this sounds like a bunch of closet cases to me

Man up already

 

[offcentered1]

I am definitely gay. I started off in the gay realm with the basic appreciation of the male form. I didn't know why or to what degree. I was always introduced to the girls that i dated by my friends. I fought urges I fought logic. I denied it until I could no longer. I made it a point to meet people from online in a safe environment although my first encounter sucked. My main angst was the fact that if i chose the gay lifestyle i would not be able to continue the family line because our family is small and based upon blood lines I am the last "sort of" When I came out to my half-sister and mom it wasn't such a deal. My mom and sister told my dad and he said {just as my sister and mom said) I don't understand it, but I accept it because you are my son. He asked me if he could punch me and then he offered me a beer.

It is not as big of a deal as we individually make it out to be. If we have a strong support group we can deal with all. Remember folks, perception is everything. If someone percieves in a specific manner it is true to them. It is our job to let them know that who we are is normal in reference to our being. If they understand us, they perceive normality and honesty. As MLK or whomever chanted we shall overcome.... Or More importantly Sam Cooke sang A Change is gonna come.... oh yes it will

 

[Ninjitsu]

you're all gay

if you're thinking about it this much, and even watching gay porn , you are gay

i'm gay and never think about women in that way. i imagine it's the same for straight men

much as i would like to believe this - lord knows it's every gay guy's fantasy to be with a str8 guy - this sounds like a bunch of closet cases to me

Man up already

Oh please. You'd think the one place on the Internet where you would freely admit to being gay is on a gay sex website.

Life is rarely so black and white. Every person who has struggled to find their identity and place in the world will tell you this.

Happily living a heterosexual lifestyle while having homosexual fantasies doesn't automatically make someone an all-out closet case gay -- if you want to quantify it into a label. It does make said person curios. Every now and then (for some people, much more often), they'll wonder what it's like to play on the same team. To some people, it can be a dismissive fleeting thought. To others, actually watching it happen is sexually stimulating. But at the end of the day, they don't feel the need to even experiment. They're perfectly content enjoying the opposite sex.

By your meaning, everybody would be gay -- and those who don't admit it are lying. Come on, we're not talking about masturbation here....

 

[phillypornlover]

well I think i'm mostly straight and I like girls, but i also like gay porn. Does that make any sense?

Not really to me. But you say you "THINK you're MOSTLY straight." Those are interesting word choices. I guess a better question would be if you fantasize about yourself being in sexual situations like that with other guys you find attractive.

So i guess what i'm trying to say is I'm really fucking confused LOL

Yup, you sure as hell are!

just kiddin'. You say still like girls, but you masturbate thinking about other guys and you like watching gay porn? I don't think either of those two things would be characteristics of a fully heterosexual male. So consider the possibility that you may be bisexual. Although I suppose if you really need to know you would try something sexual with another man you're attracted to. Another important question, do you enjoy sex with women?

 

[symbolicform]

to respond sympathetically but also critically to you guys who are straight and say you are just really into gay porn but could never 'love' another guy:

Many of you seem to think these sentiments and experiences are highly specific to you, and/or unusual. But have you noticed how common these feelings are? What you describe is exactly what I experienced and what I told myself as I moved from being a closeted 'bisexual' to an out gay man. That was in college. I had myself convinced that I was only curious, then I had myself convinced that I was only into gay fantasy but would be repelled by actual gay sex. Then I convinced myself that I could only have gay sex with certain guys but not with men in general. All the while I used my continued sexual attraction to women (which was decreasing all the while, the more I admitted myself my attraction to men) as proof of the fact that I just could not be gay.

In other words, this whole 'I jerk off to guys but can't be gay thing' (in all its variants) is about one of the most generic lines in many people's coming out narratives, no matter how protracted and delayed these narratives are.

Eventually I woke up, cut the crap and just came out of the closet, admitting to myself that, damn it, I AM attracted to men, much more than I am to women, and that those facts pretty much make me, well, yes, gay.

What kept me in the closet, and insisting that my interest in guys could never be serious? Cultural pressure, religious intolerance, and the overwhelming homophobia and hetero-privilege that unfortunately over-determines the world we live in. (It's what has been called 'compulsory heterosexuality': our culture all but forces us to be straight.)

Now, about ten years after coming out (when I was in my late 20s) I had a three month affair with a beautiful woman. It just sort of happened (we were drunk, we fell into bed, almost as a joke). We fucked like rabbits for three months and it was one of the most carefree affairs of my sexual life. However, during that time never once did I stop being gay or top calling myself gay. I knew I was still much more attracted to men, that despite having sex with this woman, my fantasy life was still entirely dominated by men. I was a gay guy who was having sex with a woman. Big deal. Eventually we stopped seeing each other as we knew we would, and I went back to having sex with men.

Maybe a lot of you who identify with this thread will continue to stay married, to have girlfriends, etc. whilst still having your fantasy life dominated by men, or, more seriously, to have affairs or quickies with men. I can see that you might not want to lose your marriage, or your kids, or whatever. But basically, managing to stay married and enjoy the cultural privileges of heterosexuality and occasionally or even frequently fucking your wife while your most intense erotic experiences (fantasized or real) involve men does not really make you 'straight'. Maybe closeted bisexual? Maybe straight-identified bisexual? Straight-identified homosexual? Whatever. But I don't think you're straight.

Openly gay- and bi-identified people take a lot of shit from the straight world, which is probably while you'll notice a lot of these people calling you out on they see as your bullshit, saying, face it, you're gay. What these people are really saying, I think, is: I had the balls to come out, why can't you?

Again, maybe you guys aren't actually gay, or bi. Maybe you really do have some fucked up complicated sexual life in which you only really want to have sex with men but only permit yourselves to have sex with women. (Doesn't sound like a helluva lot of fun to this gay-identified practicing bisexual...)

In closing, and sorry for being long-winded, but...you 'curious' guys who haunt this basically gay erotic website looking for sympathy should be aware that a lot of your squeamishness ('I want to suck a guy's cock, but I'm NOT gay!!') about homosexuality is actually pretty fucking homophobic at times. You can stay in the closet or call yourself bi or straight or whatever, but stop acting like it would the end of the world to actually be, god forbid, GAY. It's disrespectful to the rest of us--those of us whose cocks you want to suck, those of us queers (like the ones who created the website your are currently surfing) who have had the balls to come out and to put our lives on the line so that you can have a website like this one that allows you to jerk off to images of naked men.

Now go and get yourselves laid.

 

[phillypornlover]

What you describe is exactly what I experienced and what I told myself as I moved from being a closeted 'bisexual' to an out gay man. That was in college. I had myself convinced that I was only curious, then I had myself convinced that I was only into gay fantasy but would be repelled by actual gay sex. Then I convinced myself that I could only have gay sex with certain guys but not with men in general. All the while I used my continued sexual attraction to women (which was decreasing all the while, the more I admitted myself my attraction to men) as proof of the fact that I just could not be gay.

symbolicform, I think you have a great point here. I would bet that this way of thinking is pretty common among young gay men in a society that still sees gay people in a negative light. Yes, laws have been passed in places and gay visibility is greater than ever, but a lot of people still stare when they see a gay couple walking down the street. So it's not surprising at all that so many guys who are attracted to men want to identify themselves as straight or bisexual.

So I think a lot of gay guys go through this process of identifying as curious, then bisexual, and then eventually gay. I know I did. I started looking at gay porn and still considered myself straight. I masturbated thinking about other guys and still considered myself straight. I actually thought it was just a phase, an idea that so many parents probably run to when their son or daughter comes out (I'm pretty sure mine did). As odd as it sounds to me now, I thought that identifying as a bisexual would be better and wouldn't isolate me from my straight friends. And I even went through a bizarre period of rationalizing how I might still be straight even if I did certain sexual acts with other guys. And as discussed here, I thought somehow that if I did oral with another guy, that wouldn't make me gay even if I liked it. It's all pretty ridiculous, but in a way it's understandable. I'd bet there are plenty of guys here who probably did or still do think this way.

And "compulsory heterosexuality" sounds like a very appropriate term to me. We might get frustrated with guys who are closeted or won't admit that they are gay, but we have to consider what they've grown up with, a society that basically expects them to be heterosexual. Not everyone can make that leap so quickly.

 

[symbolicform]

cheers, phillypornlover.

your experience of growing, complicated rationalization describes what I went through exactly (and what I think a lot of readers here are experiencing).

my point in my post--and I'm glad you read it sympathetically--was not to come down on 'curious' guys, but to let them know how widely shared their experiences are. And to let them know why they might meet with impatience among gay guys.

x

 

[Ninjitsu]

Yeah, I see where you guys are coming from. And I don't think the guys posting in this thread are looking for "sympathy", either.

But I find it kind of annoying when curious guys want to talk about what's going through their heads so they can sort things out, and a few people want to say, "Oh shut up, you're all really gay. Stop pretending and come out already."

That's not always the case. I'd think in a thread dedicated to curiosity, they'd at least be given the benefit of the doubt. Otherwise, where else can they go and talk about these things without being judged? By straight or gay people alike?

I do know of a coworker's brother who was admittedly confused at one point. He kind of forced himself to live a heterosexual life while he struggled with his feelings for same-sex (he was "caught" watching gay porn). And one day, he found another guy and they had sex. Soon after, he figured out that same-sex wasn't his cup of tea. He wondered, tried it, and didn't like it as much as sex with women.

So yeah, this obsession that some "straight" guys seem to have with the male form may indeed be a sign of a degree of homosexuality (or fully thereof). But because when one guy satisfies that curiosity and finds that things are right in the world, it doesn't necessarily mean it's the same for every other guy.

 

[TylerDurden222]

I believe we all lie on the spectrum, from 100% gay to 100% straight, with most in between. I disagree with those who think guys looking at guys for eroticisn have to be gay. the difference is when i see a woman getting fucked, i dont know what it feels like for her. i cant relate. i dont know what it feels like to have a clit licked, or a tittie sucked. but when i see two guys, i know every nook and cranny of their bodies, and how they feel. so i guess theres an easier way (kind of weird i know) to identify with 2 guys fucking then a hetero couple at times. also, i admire other mens bodies and just like men compare cars and women compare shoes, i guess sometimes i see them as attractive, and then wish i had some of there features. call this closet BS, but believe me, ive had plenty of options to be with men, with absolutely no way of getting caught, no family to hurt, and none of the other issues you bring up. and ive never done it because im not convinced its something i would enjoy, yet at least . i watch all porn types and love them all, love variety.

im glad i made this thread as i feel it has been quite revealing. seems like gays dont understand bisexuality and view it simply as a conduit to a gay lifestyle. while many of us "curious" guys seem to share the same thoughts.

keep the stories coming, i appreciate everyones responses.

 

[acus48]

Hi - another in the line of curious guys in the central NJ area who is thinking more and more about enjoying the experience. Any gay guys want to help?