On weddings and such

[maxpowr9]

At least in my relationship, it would have to be my BF to propose. This isn't some "social norm" BS but after going to so many weddings of different varieties over the past few years (and seeing some end already yet unsurprisingly) that I just don't care for the whole ordeal. Considering I am bending my own ultimatum of me "choosing" my BF over my dog shows there is much work needed to be done before we get that far. If he were to propose now, I'd say no to him.

 

[rotary]

But we gays have an opportunity to not simply borrow from past traditions, but to be a little more creative. Why not jump at that?

I agree. I'm of the opinion that the actual proposal should be more memorable than the wedding. Have fun with it. Slide the ring on his finger while jumping out of a plane and all that jazz. Don't get me wrong, I like weddings, but so many are dry and monotonous. An amazing proposal and unique engagement party with a very low-key wedding is what I have in mind when the time comes.

Why not? It's about time. If the bitch breaks up the engagement, I get to keep the ring!

Not if he takes you to Judge Judy!

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

I think it's funny that some of you are seeing NA as being "anti" when on the flip side of almost every "anti" coin is a "pro" position.

It's the way he presents himself in these matters of the heart - he comes off very "anti", whether it be "rules" of a relationship, so-called traditions of engagement or other things like that. He's against tradition, and that's fine. But his first post comes off mocking marriage in general - stating that people are modeling themselves after heterosexuals is an underhanded slight, even if that's not (exactly) what he meant.

By the by, I happen to like the whole on one knee thing. It's romantic, mainly because it's rare for someone to actually go there these days. So if that's modeling myself after hetero's, so be it - it's one thing I personally would like to keep.

 

[rotary]

^ public rejections do carry an entertainment factor all their own, though. I've resigned to the fact I'm going to hell a long time ago.

 

[shainski]

... Slide the ring on his finger while jumping out of a plane and all that jazz....

Just don't drop it. (Would it be okay to use a cigar band for now and substitute the real ring later?

 

[Racer Dave]

The question asked by the OP says it's obvious who in a straight relationship pops the question and then suggests that those same old school gender roles are followed by gay couples (the older, or more successful--which traditionally is the man), that's a bit grating.

Mmmm ... I'm sorry if I came across as 'grating' it was not my intention, was simply a fun question and nothing more was implied.

 

[oakpope]

90% of tradition is simply doing something because "that's the way things are done." When people start challenging that and creating their own tradition, the world would be a much more fun, more diverse place IMO.

Until then, well... at least tickets to Jennifer Aniston movies will sell out in theaters.

Make no mistake, I love marriage when two people are clearly meant for each other. But we gays have an opportunity to not simply borrow from past traditions, but to be a little more creative. Why not jump at that?

I'm in shock ! I agree with NaughtyArousal !! Traditions should remain the oil that greases the wheels, but should not decide what is on the menu and how the menu should be cooked.

 

[Asenath]

Why not? It's about time. If the bitch breaks up the engagement, I get to keep the ring!

Nobody should be keeping any engagement rings unless they follow through on the wedding. The ring is a tangible symbol of a verbal contract to enter into matrimony. If the contract is broken, the ring goes back to the giver.

People can't act right these days. . .

 

[G-Lexington]

Nobody should be keeping any engagement rings unless they follow through on the wedding. The ring is a tangible symbol of a verbal contract to enter into matrimony. If the contract is broken, the ring goes back to the giver.

People can't act right these days. . .

Or you get free jewelry, and get a chance to get a financial and/or "moral" dig in to your now-ex. People rarely tend to act properly when their dreams of happily-ever-after come crashing down, especially when it comes with a side dish of "and can I get that ring back from you".

Lex

 

[HunterM]

Racer Dave,
I think you got more advice than you've bargained for. Whatever you do man, best wishes to you both!

 

[bankside]

I'm not saying gay people shouldn't get married. That would be silly. I just laugh at the conservative aspect of a guy (in a straight relationship) alway being the one who proposes. So when that model is taken and given to gay relationships and creates the idea that two men makes it oh-so confusing who makes the move, it becomes off-putting.

It's basically like when some silly straight guy sees a same-sex couple dancing and asks: "how do they know who leads?"

What are we, twelve? Make your own rules!







Sixthson had a lovely post once about how marriage wasn't initiated merely by a proposal but a discussion had with him and his loved one over a long period. It was a pretty touching post, and I think it had a lot more romance to it than the cliche "get on one knee" approach on its own. I'd imagine things like this should best be talked about first.

YOU, mr-don't-tie-me-down, you totally understand the value of what people in committed relationships have when they do it right. And you've hit on something that totally bothers me about hetero relationships. It's not the anatomy that puts me off; it's the straight jacket of "I'll propose to my woman" and "I'll drive while my woman sits in the passenger seat" and "taking out the garbage is a 'boy job' so ewwww" and "No, you propose to me (sorry thatgirl)" that I find to be the biggest turn-off.

And you, Mr. Naughty Arousal, have it right. Marriage doesn't need to be like that and if people don't get your point above they're doing marriage wrong.

 

[Racer Dave]

Racer Dave,
I think you got more advice than you've bargained for. Whatever you do man, best wishes to you both!

haha Yeah that does seam to be the case