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Let me tell you, once you add kids to the mix, you will be too tired to even think about an open relationship. The height of luxury will be a full nights sleep.Duh, of course!!!
We have talked about that, and also quiting smoking, but were still waiting
(bitter)I don't have relationships.(/bitter) And if I did, I doubt I'd have the time and energy to seek out and seduce more men outside the relationship. My appetites just aren't that insatiable. On the other hand, there are two or three guys I wouldn't mind bringing together into some sort of permanent threesome, however that would work. Which I suppose is a sort of "open" relationship if you want to look at that way, but since it'll never actually happen it's probably not worth discussing.
Who's to say that Ionly love one person. True, there's probably one that I love above and beyond the others, but that doesn't mean that other emotions don't exist.
Never actually been in one. But in the three "straight" (straight man, bi or bi-curious woman) open relationships I've had the chance to observe, each partner had the right to "approve" the other's extramarital companions, and such adventures were not something that happened very often.
The most blatant failure of this type was also a straight relationship, and its failure arose from a matter of hypocrisy; the wife wanted the opporunity to sleep around without repercussions, and so gave her husband permission to do the same (and actively encouraged him, to pressure him into giving her similar freedom), secrently believing he'd never actually take her up on it. Then she caught him texting his old highschool sweetheart...
Oh, please. Like married straight (and sometimes bi) folks never invite extra players into their bedroom games.
If straight folks don't have to give to their extramarital playmates, neither do gay people. While it may be against the spirit and even the letter of the marriage contract, I'd like to point out that they don't stop being husband and wife just because they sleep around.
This is a pretty hefty indictment; I am certain that given time, that I could find a "baser" form of self-loathing somewhere. Also, you appear to be presuming the motives of others, which is shaky ground.
See my previous statement about "approved" partners. And it assumes such a relationship is all about sexual kicks. What if I know my partner has strong feelings for both myself and another man (Hell, let's say I like him too). If, rather than tear our relationship(s) apart, I choose to invite this third person into the relationship, how am I exhibiting self-loathing or exposing myself to disease, humiliation, and heartbreak? Keep in mind that if it all goes sour, humiliation and heartbreak were probably inevitable.
This part just confuses me. You seem to begin by saying you're not passing moral judgment, and then end by blatantly passing moral judgment.
I have a gay male friend and he was in 3 way/open relationship for years, almost a decade and he said how the sex wasn't the frustrating part but more the lack of communication, jealousy, and lack of rules were some of the highly frustrating parts.
He told me how it was very frustrating and painful for him to have 2-3 boyfriends at once. The two men he was with were in an established relationship as a couple and invited him in and didn't set up rules or say that it was a closed/exclusive relationship and they'd go off and have sex with other men and not invite him and he got angry about this (who wouldn't?), so he dated another man to deal with this and he figured it was OK within the boundaries of the relationship since they had lots of sex with other men besides him and didn't think anything of it and wouldn't talk about closing the relationship or setting up rules/boundaries. He tried to get them to close the relationship but then they backed off and ended it, when they were the ones who wanted a 3 way relationship in the first place! He told me how he never really felt like he was a part of their relationship or felt daunted by the idea that they had an established relationship for years and how it just seemed like they invited him into their relationship for novelty, and they didn't take the relationship that they had with him seriously at all.
He told me how in theory open relationships work well in theory/fantasy; but in reality they don't work well and how he shouldn't have gotten involved in an open relationship like that instead of just having a relationship with one man. He told me how had he known how all of this would have worked out or what the couple he got involved with would have been like this, such as how they never communicated their wants/needs or talked about his wants/needs/expectations how he never would have had attempted an open relationship like this or gotten involved with them. The funny thing is, they didn't even live together. I can't even imagine based on what he told me, how badly it would have turned out if they had lived together.
I was invited to join M/F couple but I said no since they are legally married and have been 'together' for awhile and I know I'd feel left out, possibly jealous, and never REALLY part of their relationship no matter what since they have a legal marriage, have known each other for years even as friends, and they have kids.
I wanted to ask two of my gay friends if they wanted me as a boyfriend but I was moving and I knew that eventually they'd break up. They did eventually break up; but it wasn't because of anything that we did together.
I'm open to the idea of an open relationship but I wouldn't fool or delude myself and say that I'm in a "poly" (short for polyamorous) relationship and say "but you don't understand being poly is alllll about the love!!!!"
