“Out of The Mist”
Chapter 130 of ? …
Cathy Crawford:
There were only two things I could think of, that had proven to be good about the mess I'd managed to gamble my way into.
The first was that I'd been “cured” of my gambling problem. There was NO Way I'd ever let myself become that vulnerable again. It had led to my being “taken” myself. Someone else had gained control over my life. I'd been coerced into doing things I found repulsive.
I am not talking about the care I had taken of our victims. In fact, I was quite proud of that. There were reasons I had become a nurse. What troubled me was why they had become my patients, and what was to become of them. That left a sour taste in my craw, which I abhorred. The good I was capable of doing had been turned to a bad venture, the sole consideration of money.
I've come to Hate money, and the corrupting influences it can have.
The second good thing was meeting Gary. If I'd seen him on the street I wouldn't have taken second notice. He was not by any means a tempting, eye catching, attraction. His appearance was so normal to the point of making him generally invisible. On sight, he was perfectly “Vanilla”, unassuming, perhaps even bland.
However, with us being forced together, though we tried to remain professionally detached, I'd gotten to know him as a very smart, and caring, individual. I also keyed into the sense that he deplored our situation as much as I did. Neither of us were enjoying the circumstances we'd been forced into. Yet, through it all, as I got to know him, I realized he was a kindred soul, and a man to be admired. I found myself being drawn to him, heart to heart.
I'd surprised myself when I felt lured to return to Harbour Home, and Gary. I was justifying my actions as Gary was the only person I could confide in. He was the only one in the same predicament, and could understand. I was in need of some sympathetic company.
I didn't foresee finding myself in bed with him, nor how passionate he proved to be, not to mention very adroit, and being able to push all of my buttons so expertly. I was shocked, and extremely pleased, that he was such an incredible lover, which was totally unexpected, and not my intended goal at all. He literally blew my mind!
Though I'm a female, no one would describe me as effeminate. I was a “Tom Boy” as a kid, and have even heard comments about my being a “Bull Dyke”, behind my back.
Maybe that was because of my motor cycle “thing”, or perhaps more because I've always gone full force as an enthusiastic Human being. I've never let gender expectations define me, or what I'm interested in. I've always followed my own heart, except for when I allowed myself to be controlled by my own weaknesses, which will never happen again, if I can find a way out of this nightmare.
“June Cleaver”, and her pearls, are the opposite of me. I'm more like the Barbara Billingsly that interpreted “Jive” in the movie “Airplane”.
That said, I had no problems becoming “domestic” for Gary, and seeing to his needs. It was my nursing side coming out. If either of us would be considered “effeminate” it would be Gary. He is such a caring, wise, gentle soul, in spite of what he'd been compromised into doing, to people he knew, and cherished.
This whole “taking” thing had likely been more difficult for him than me. I couldn't fathom what corporal, personal, conflicts he'd been going through, in the depths of the disastrous “black hole” we'd both unwisely fallen into.
And, now, here we were, confronted by direction to kidnap Ryan, Paddy's nephew. There was no doubt at what level those orders were coming from.
“What are we going to do?”, I asked Gary, letting him know I would follow whatever his decision might be. We were in this together, and I would support, and go through with, his decision.
He began by taking another big sip, make that a gulp, of wine. Steepling his hands, thumbs beneath his chin, fingertips touching his nose, glancing at me, looking back down, then meeting my gaze again. I could see the gears in his mind carefully choosing the thoughts he was about to let loose.
Gary:
Crawford was a “God Send”, though it was certainly no god that had sent her to me. Quite the opposite. It was Satanic influences that had brought us together, mired in this cesspool of darkness, and regret.
My heart sank to my depths, thinking I had somehow been part of the cause of her being dragged down with me. And, now, this amazing person was looking to me to somehow, miraculously, pull both of us up, and out of this mess.
“The way I see this is we have several options, none of which I recommend, but am offering to try to clarify our position. I need your input for further recommendations. This is something we have to decide together.”
I gave her a pleading glance, before continuing.
“We can do as directed, and try to take Ryan. I do not like that option at all. I do not know what situation we would be delivering him into, but I don't think it would be for his well being, at all.”
“Granted, that was the same for our others, but I'm feeling this might be worse. And, with the appearance of Karen Johnson today, though I'm not entirely sure what's going on, I think we might have more room to maneuver. Something has happened to “the system”. And, though I don't know what that might be, I'm thinking they are more vulnerable now than ever before.”
“That said, we might have the option to simply refuse, though I doubt it. I have no expectations that the threat we've been under is anything less. They still have the power to make our lives miserable, if not wiping us out. Whatever else might be going on, we do not have that option without serious reprisal, though it still might be a choice, if we're willing to accept the probably dire consequences. Harrison didn't hesitate to let me know that harm might come to you, me, or both of us, if we didn't comply.”
“Another option is going to Arie, admitting everything, and relying on him to make the right decisions, and possibly protecting us. I like, admire, and have full confidence in Arie, but he is also in a position that he has limited choices in what he can, and can not legally do. And, given that we “took” Hunter, one of his officers, I doubt he would be as amenable as he would have been otherwise. I trust him, and yet, in light of that, I can't.”
“It seems we are in a cul de sac with opposing interests bearing down upon us. Our other option would be to run, abandon everything, and take our chances, “on the lamb”, looking over our shoulders for the rest of our lives.”
I shuddered. Drained my wine goblet, and furtively looked at Crawford.
“Thoughts? Is there more wine?”