Out: Shepard Smith and Anderson Cooper Are Powerful Gay Men

[altlover85]

It seems that in his case, he was never 'in'. He's plainly out, without a doubt. But he's quite emphatically illustrating that whether or not one is gay is not relevant to one's employment. If an employer can't ask that on a job application, then it's not an issue.

Next time he's asked, he should respond, "Will the news I report be any less or more true if I answer this question?"

Clearly we don't see eye to eye on this.

If he was "never in" some people wouldn't be wondering if he was gay or not because it would be known.

 

[Kulindahr]

I can understand how you don't want to hear about people's relationships, but I'm talking about why it's important that he come out because it would help other people understand that being gay is nothing to hide and might help someone else become more comfortable with his or her sexuality.

He is out. He doesn't think it's an issue to be tossed around in public for people who lack lives enough of their own that they have to pry into others'. By doing so he's being a very good example, showing gays they aren't the property of every gossip whore in the world, that they can live their lives as they please.

For myself, and several other guys I know, if I saw every gay guy in media or wherever capitulating to the demand to make their private lives public, I wouldn't be out. Being out doesn't meant trumpeting it to the world, or handing over the details to anyone who asks, it means living my life as I please and not hiding. So Cooper, by what he's doing, is in fact "help[ing] someone else become more comfortable with his or her sexuality", by showing that your sexuality doesn't mean you have to conform to anyone else's standards.

He's pointing the way to a future where being gay will be so ordinary that people won't bother to ask.

There are a fair amount of people in the world that don't pick up on things like jokes and need to be explicitly told that someone is gay in order to understand it.

That's their developmental problem. None of us has any obligation to cater to them.

 

[Kulindahr]

Clearly we don't see eye to eye on this.

If he was "never in" some people wouldn't be wondering if he was gay or not because it would be known.

Oh.

So if I cut firewood for a hobby, everyone will automatically know?

Not everyone is going to figure out everything about other people. He doesn't hide that he's gay -- so he's out. Anyone around him will figure it out soon enough. Anyone not around him enough to do that doesn't need to know anything further than that he's a human being.

That's what gays need to hear, to be comfortable with themselves: that their lives belong to them. It doesn't make any difference whether it's the Family Research Council or the New York Times wanting to know if someone's gay; in either case, it isn't the person's job to answer. Neither the FRC nor the NYT own Cooper, and that's what his not answering says. The reactionary religious bigots have projected the belief that somehow our private lives belong to them; the demand that someone answer makes the very same statement.

 

[altlover85]

He is out. He doesn't think it's an issue to be tossed around in public for people who lack lives enough of their own that they have to pry into others'. By doing so he's being a very good example, showing gays they aren't the property of every gossip whore in the world, that they can live their lives as they please.

I don't see someone knowing I'm gay as a huge invasion of privacy.

For myself, and several other guys I know, if I saw every gay guy in media or wherever capitulating to the demand to make their private lives public, I wouldn't be out. Being out doesn't meant trumpeting it to the world, or handing over the details to anyone who asks, it means living my life as I please and not hiding. So Cooper, by what he's doing, is in fact "help[ing] someone else become more comfortable with his or her sexuality", by showing that your sexuality doesn't mean you have to conform to anyone else's standards.

Again, I don't see someone knowing I'm gay because they asked the question and I answered as a huge invasion of privacy.

If you were out with your boyfriend and someone asked are you gay, what would you say?

As to Cooper helping, we disagree on that as well. Why is trumpeting to the world that you're gay so undesirable? If you were straight would it be that big of an issue?

He's pointing the way to a future where being gay will be so ordinary that people won't bother to ask.

But right now it's not so ordinary and people will ask. If I dodge a question, it usually means I have something to hide.

That's their developmental problem. None of us has any obligation to cater to them.

No, we don't, but we do have to deal with those kinds of people often and some of them are homophobic and I think would be less so if they knew more people were gay because it would become more normal to them.

 

[Kulindahr]

Right. Prying gossip-mongers? I like that. Is that something you made up on your own?

...because as we've said above, that's the only reason one would care. People just want to be nosey. It won't help anyone at all if such a public figure as himself speaks out that he is gay.

Yep -- my phrase.

We have them here in small town USA. They ask because they gossip. Generally they gossip because they don't have lives. They don't want to know because they want to know you, they want to know so they can run around to all the other gossips and feed them a juicy tidbit. They want to know because it gives them some sort of feeling of power over the person they know something about.

Anderson is very politely saying "Fuck you" to all the people that want to make being gay into something abnormal. That's really what insisting that people declare their 'condition' to the world are doing: making being gay something abnormal, something that must be confessed to the world like it was some sort of dirty deed. Cooper doesn't think it's dirty, and he doesn't think it's special; he thinks it's just ordinary, and he's communicating that very effectively.

I find myself feeling better about myself, seeing him stand up to the prying dweebs.

 

[altlover85]

Oh.

So if I cut firewood for a hobby, everyone will automatically know?

No, because you aren't in the public eye.

I don't think anyone is struggling to come to grips with a firewood cutting hobby.

Not everyone is going to figure out everything about other people. He doesn't hide that he's gay -- so he's out. Anyone around him will figure it out soon enough. Anyone not around him enough to do that doesn't need to know anything further than that he's a human being.

And yet, he wrote a memoir, so he clearly doesn't mind talking about some part of his private life.

That's what gays need to hear, to be comfortable with themselves: that their lives belong to them. It doesn't make any difference whether it's the Family Research Council or the New York Times wanting to know if someone's gay; in either case, it isn't the person's job to answer. Neither the FRC nor the NYT own Cooper, and that's what his not answering says. The reactionary religious bigots have projected the belief that somehow our private lives belong to them; the demand that someone answer makes the very same statement.

And again, I disagree that being gay is some huge big private secret that needs to be guarded when you've already been seen on the town with men.

As I said before we aren't going to see eye to eye because we disagree about the privacy level of admitting your sexuality when you've been seen out with men and are in the public eye.

 

[Kulindahr]

I don't see someone knowing I'm gay as a huge invasion of privacy.

Neither does he.

If you were out with your boyfriend and someone asked are you gay, what would you say?

I've never answered that question directly, regardless of whom I'm with. I turn it back on the questioner, to make them ask themselves why it's important -- like, "Why, are you interested?"

But right now it's not so ordinary and people will ask. If I dodge a question, it usually means I have something to hide.

Are you a cop by any chance? It's mostly cops who want people to believe that, so they can pry into people's lives in hopes of finding something to arrest them for. It just confirms to me that you want him to answer to satisfy some less-than-savory craving in people.

No, we don't, but we do have to deal with those kinds of people often and some of them are homophobic and I think would be less so if they knew more people were gay because it would become more normal to them.

They can know he's gay -- get to know him. He has no obligation to live his life the way you want, any more than he has an obligation to live his life the way the American Family Association wants.

People only ask because he's a media figure. The point he's communicating is that the answer isn't relevant to his being a media figure. That's an awesome lesson for gays everywhere: they're ordinary people, and their sexuality isn't someone to hang out for people to judge them on.

 

[Kulindahr]

As I said before we aren't going to see eye to eye because we disagree about the privacy level of admitting your sexuality when you've been seen out with men and are in the public eye.

You and huntneo are basically arguing that someone owns Cooper besides him. That's the only reason he would have to live up to your standards, is that you have an ownership claim.

It's far better for younger gays to see people doing things their own way, and get the lesson that it's okay to be you and do things your way.

He's only in the public eye because of his job. Do you really want him to communicate that his sexuality is important to getting his job done?

You're trying to impose some universal standard on him. That's no different than what Tony Perkins of the FRC does -- you just have a different standard you want him to conform with. Now, if he were urging gay men to never tell, to never answer the question, you might have a point: then he would be saying it's something to hide. As it is, he isn't hiding, but he is saying it has nothing to do with his job. He's saying that unless you're a part of his life, you have no more business knowing his sexuality than you would walking up to some random stranger and demanding they tell you.

That's a very healthy point. There are plenty of gays, like David Bromstad on Color Splash, who freely talk about their orientation, so there are examples of that to look to. He's providing a different kind of example, and it's also a healthy one -- the one of the future, one that gives the hope that people will stop asking the question because everyone is considered normal.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Clearly we don't see eye to eye on this.

If he was "never in" some people wouldn't be wondering if he was gay or not because it would be known.

It's known to people who need* to know; and by all accounts to anyone who knows where to look, since he's been photographed with a boyfriend numerous times.

Why does he need to make an announcement? I f you look, you'll find. No announcement necessary. You guys are making a mountain out of a molehill.

-d-
*Not you. You do not NEED to know.

 

[altlover85]

We have them here in small town USA. They ask because they gossip. Generally they gossip because they don't have lives. They don't want to know because they want to know you, they want to know so they can run around to all the other gossips and feed them a juicy tidbit. They want to know because it gives them some sort of feeling of power over the person they know something about.

So you feel that them knowing you are gay gives them some power over you?

Anderson is very politely saying "Fuck you" to all the people that want to make being gay into something abnormal. That's really what insisting that people declare their 'condition' to the world are doing: making being gay something abnormal, something that must be confessed to the world like it was some sort of dirty deed. Cooper doesn't think it's dirty, and he doesn't think it's special; he thinks it's just ordinary, and he's communicating that very effectively.

Maybe some people do want him to say it because they think it's abnormal, but I'd venture to guess that other people want to do it for the reasons that huntneo and I have outlined above.

If he's so bold as to 'be out there living his life', it shouldn't be hard for him to say 'yes, I'm gay...and?'

I would think so.

No one is saying there needs to be a press conference or anything of that nature--but when speculation arises, he needs to own it. Forget the private life crap. Telling someone that you are a homosexual is nothing close to an 'invasion of privacy'. Give me a break.

I totally agree, especially with the bolded part.

Neither does he.

Clearly he does or he would just answer the question.

I've never answered that question directly, regardless of whom I'm with. I turn it back on the questioner, to make them ask themselves why it's important -- like, "Why, are you interested?"

Again, I think it comes down to different boundaries on what is private and what isn't.

Are you a cop by any chance? It's mostly cops who want people to believe that, so they can pry into people's lives in hopes of finding something to arrest them for. It just confirms to me that you want him to answer to satisfy some less-than-savory craving in people.

Crap. You found me out.

Guys, I'm a cop.

They can know he's gay -- get to know him. He has no obligation to live his life the way you want, any more than he has an obligation to live his life the way the American Family Association wants.

People only ask because he's a media figure. The point he's communicating is that the answer isn't relevant to his being a media figure. That's an awesome lesson for gays everywhere: they're ordinary people, and their sexuality isn't someone to hang out for people to judge them on.

Again, I think it comes down to a fundamental difference in what's considered private and what isn't, as well a difference in perception as far as the effects of the way we answer questions and what those answers mean.

 

[Kulindahr]

It's known to people who need* to know; and by all accounts to anyone who knows where to look, since he's been photographed with a boyfriend numerous times.

Why does he need to make an announcement? I f you look, you'll find. No announcement necessary. You guys are making a mountain out of a molehill.

-d-
*Not you. You do not NEED to know.

Exactly.

 

[altlover85]

You and huntneo are basically arguing that someone owns Cooper besides him. That's the only reason he would have to live up to your standards, is that you have an ownership claim.

He doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to. It doesn't mean that I and others won't criticize him.

It's far better for younger gays to see people doing things their own way, and get the lesson that it's okay to be you and do things your way.

People can do what they want, but personally, I think he could be doing more than he's doing.

He's only in the public eye because of his job. Do you really want him to communicate that his sexuality is important to getting his job done?

No, I don't think it's important, which is why it shouldn't be an issue to just acknowledge it and move on, because of the positive effect it would have on others to know here's yet another example of a successful gay person.

Now, if he were urging gay men to never tell, to never answer the question, you might have a point: then he would be saying it's something to hide. As it is, he isn't hiding, but he is saying it has nothing to do with his job. He's saying that unless you're a part of his life, you have no more business knowing his sexuality than you would walking up to some random stranger and demanding they tell you.

I'm talking about how his coming out would be helpful to others and how his not answering the question is less helpful. That is my main point, which you don't agree with me on.

That's a very healthy point. There are plenty of gays, like David Bromstad on Color Splash, who freely talk about their orientation, so there are examples of that to look to. He's providing a different kind of example, and it's also a healthy one -- the one of the future, one that gives the hope that people will stop asking the question because everyone is considered normal.

We are not in the future yet. Once being gay is no big deal, people won't need to come out, but right now it's still something that is seen as negative by some people, which is why I think it's important for him to come out.

It doesn't mean he has to, but it does mean I will argue that if he did so it would have a positive effect.

It's known to people who need* to know; and by all accounts to anyone who knows where to look, since he's been photographed with a boyfriend numerous times.

Why does he need to make an announcement? I f you look, you'll find. No announcement necessary. You guys are making a mountain out of a molehill.

-d-

All I'm saying is I think it would be good if he came out. It's not the end of the world if he doesn't, but I don't see why he shouldn't.

Yes, I am aware of why you guys think he shouldn't have to or doesn't need to, so you don't need to rehash the same tired points.

I'm stating my opinion.

 

[operafan]

What a tiresome discussion this has become. Obviously the Cooper haters aren't going to change their mind. Give the poor guy some peace. If you're out waving the flag -- then more power to you. He doesn't want to.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I think he could be doing more than he's doing.

This is true for everyone on this planet.

All I'm saying is I think it would be good if he came out. It's not the end of the world if he doesn't, but I don't see why he shouldn't.

Bingo.

Personally, I'm appalled at the level of entitlement some JUBbers have shown in this thread.

-d-

 

[altlover85]

Bingo.

Personally, I'm appalled at the level of entitlement some JUBbers have shown in this thread.

-d-

I'm simply discussing why I think he should come out. The fact that I and others want him to doesn't mean a damn thing to him.

To me, Anderson and others that are "out", but haven't said they are gay are people that are worth discussing because this is an issue that people feel differently about and one that I feel strongly about.

If that came across as entitled, it wasn't my intent.

 

[altlover85]

Cooper 'haters'? lmao

Oh please. No one hates the guy. We're just putting some things into perspective. And for this discussion to have become tiresome, I bet you sure have your happy ass in here reading it.

 

[Nomenclature]

You're running that same line that pseudo-closeted gays use when they are damn near afraid of being out and proud. It's none of their business, blah blah blah...wah wah wah!

I just have to ask you a question for the sake of discussiont:

How can being gay become a normal part of society if we're always making a huge deal and drawing attention to it all the time? The idea behind gay rights is that gays want to be able to go to school, get a job, get married and live boring, dignified lives like everyone else. Saying "LOOK EVERYONE!! I'M GAY!!" all the time isn't exactly being dignified; it's over-compensating, and is SOOOOOOOOOOO 1970s.

I love being gay. I love the point of view it gives me.

As an aside, I completely agree with you. I wouldn't want to give it up.

I don't think he has a responsibility to be a gay leader if he doesn't want to. I don't think he owes it to me.

That's just the thing: Blacks had Martin Luther King, Bob Marley, etc at the height of their civil rights movement, and they were amazing role models for black people the world over. Gays have had to fight their own battles for the past 42 years, so we're very hungry for representation, leadership and dignity. Whenever someone famous is gay, the gay community places an ENORMOUS amount of pressure on them to basically be the Gay Dr. King.


Ellen DeGeneres has spoken about this, too; lesbians put a lot of pressure on her to be their "leader", when she never really wanted to; she just wants to stand up for herself, and for what she feels is right.

 

[altlover85]

How can being gay become a normal part of society if we're always making a huge deal and drawing attention to it all the time? The idea behind gay rights is that gays want to be able to go to school, get a job, get married and live boring, dignified lives like everyone else. Saying "LOOK EVERYONE!! I'M GAY!!" all the time isn't exactly being dignified; it's over-compensating, and is SOOOOOOOOOOO 1970s.

The reason why I feel he should say it is because many people assume people are straight unless told otherwise and he's been seen in public with men, but won't simply say "I'm gay", but will go into details about other private things in a book, but then says he doesn't talk about his private life.

That's just the thing: Blacks had Martin Luther King, Bob Marley, etc at the height of their civil rights movement, and they were amazing role models for black people the world over. Gays have had to fight their own battles for the past 42 years, so we're very hungry for representation, leadership and dignity. Whenever someone famous is gay, the gay community places an ENORMOUS amount of pressure on them to basically be the Gay Dr. King.

I agree there is that need for a gay Dr. King, but I don't think that people expect Anderson to be that man.

Ellen DeGeneres has spoken about this, too; lesbians put a lot of pressure on her to be their "leader", when she never really wanted to; she just wants to stand up for herself, and for what she feels is right.

Ellen did come out though and say that she was gay.

 

[Homothug]

The reason why I feel he should say it is because many people assume people are straight unless told otherwise and he's been seen in public with men, but won't simply say "I'm gay", but will go into details about other private things in a book, but then says he doesn't talk about his private life.



I agree there is that need for a gay Dr. King, but I don't think that people expect Anderson to be that man.



Ellen did come out though and say that she was gay.

Who told you that? There's plenty of people (straights) included who assume people are gay also, so you miss me with that shit.

My dude he's out, He's parading around NYC with his boyfriend all the time and anybody who wants to know, knows. And anybody who doesn't want to know eventually will know. He doesn't need to say it.

His job is to report news, not to be some type of example for gay men to feel better about themselves.

 

[NineOfClubs]

Would so many of you be making "excuses" for Anderson (like above poster) if he were also a Republican and maybe worked for Fox?