Overweight gay guys might as well be dead

[Críostóir]

I agree with your beach friends. Fat People absolutely disgust me! And I loathe Gay Fats even more! I don't know why I feel this way - I just do..

It might be because you're a bit thick.

A BIT? filler filler filler

 

[wanky_window]

A BIT? filler filler filler

That was being kind.

 

[Críostóir]

Quite. filler

 

[Jayden]

Have you guys seen this guy's gallery? At first, I just assumed the avatar was just some airbrushed model pic off the internet. But after looking at his gallery, it appears that this is a real life human being...

The reality is, if you look like this, you can pretty much do or say anything and get away with it.

Why be nice anyway?

In any case, he's only expressing the opinion of the public at large, the problem is he did so in a very blunt manner. But it's like X-factor/American Idol - there's no point in lying to people; sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

That avatar is of some air brushed male model off the internet. His name is Marcus Lloyd. http://images.google.com/images?gbv...cd=1&q=black+male+models+marcus+lloyd&spell=1

 

[bspringer7]

This feels so true to me, as definitely fitting into the category of "morbidly obese," I truly feel that it might be better if I were dead, not that I'm suicidal or anything. It's just that I have no motivation and let myself have every excuse not to do anything about the weight. I don't know when/how that will change, maybe when I get diagnosed with something serious. I wish I was able to stop myself from making and accepting excuses as to why I don't do things in life. I don't know where I lost the "can do" attitude so many others seem to have. Ok, rambling, and shutting up now...

 

[ABoyNamedSue]

On the flip side of the coin I have noticed is the last ten years that becoming deathly skinny is becoming more than trendy in men. I have encountered a number of men that have the heigh weight requirements in their profile. However, what they realize is that they themselves are far from it. However, it is not because they are heavy it because they are so skinny that it cannot possibly be healthy.

I was in a trendy, fashionable store in Denver a few years ago, and I was browsing through the clothing. There were many items I would have loved to have worn. But, they did not cater to the "bigger" sizes. It was not like I was looking for a XXXL shirt or a 58 inch pant.

Body image has become such a problem in both extremes from the extremely thin to the extremely obese. Being average in anything is becoming more and more taboo. It is a sad day when depth of personality is becoming less and less of a factor.

 

[bspringer7]

And i'm aware of the source this is coming from, before anyone reminds me...

To sound dumb im sure, but what source is that?

 

[bspringer7]

Me, of course, the guy that's attempted suicide before...

Ah ya, I did about 6 years ago, and I think for me, it was just a form of trying to get attention, and I realized that and haven't had issues with it since. Thankfully.
For me, its like when it comes time to decide, sit on the couch and watch tv or go walk on a treadmill, the obviously more pleasant option (for immediate gratification) is to hunker down and chill on the couch with cookies or whatnot. And while I KNOW the more responsible thing would be to go and at least just walk my ass around somewhere or do SOMETHING active. I allow myself to decide to sit. So I need to learn how to make myself do stuff I don't want to? That sound right? And if so, any suggestions? Or is it gonna be the same ol', you'll do it when u realize you have no other choice.

 

[Nelson]

This feels so true to me, as definitely fitting into the category of "morbidly obese," I truly feel that it might be better if I were dead, not that I'm suicidal or anything. It's just that I have no motivation and let myself have every excuse not to do anything about the weight. I don't know when/how that will change, maybe when I get diagnosed with something serious. I wish I was able to stop myself from making and accepting excuses as to why I don't do things in life. I don't know where I lost the "can do" attitude so many others seem to have. Ok, rambling, and shutting up now...

The sad part is that we are not even talking about morbid obesity here - but just a few pound of excess bodyfat/and or gay guys that are not toned. In the eyes of SOME gay like the 2 gymsluts from my old gym I met on the beach, these guys might as well be dead! I have heard this kind of behaviour before and wish that this kind of junior high behaviour was over. Like NewGuy wrote obviosly even a little excess fat deems you wortless in SOME gay men eyes and overweight gay guys do not feel wellcome or one of the boys, when they are treated like pariahs.

I have no doubt that fad diets like RAVENSTAR described are a part of the problem and actually damages peoples bodies and metabolisms more than any other factors.

BSpringer - My heart goes out to you. If you could have broken the viscious cycle that made you overweight you might have had a chance. Have you considered looking into getting a Gastric Bypass Surgery? For 80-90 percent of morbidly obese (BMI higher than 40) it is the best soloution. People with a BMI over 40 on average lives 20 years shorter. So I would call it an important investment in your lighter future. .

Average guys and men with a few extra pounds can make an effort to make some better life style choices. stop eating junk and eat enough healthy stuff and make regular exercise a part of your life. Because looks matters. And so does confidence, and maturity. The 2 persons I met on the beach are a waste of time and I find their ugly personalities worse, and I hope they and people of their ilk will think about how the affect us with their body-facism.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>For me, its like when it comes time to decide, sit on the couch and watch tv or go walk on a treadmill, the obviously more pleasant option (for immediate gratification) is to hunker down and chill on the couch with cookies or whatnot. And while I KNOW the more responsible thing would be to go and at least just walk my ass around somewhere or do SOMETHING active. I allow myself to decide to sit. So I need to learn how to make myself do stuff I don't want to? That sound right? And if so, any suggestions? Or is it gonna be the same ol', you'll do it when u realize you have no other choice.

I find it's best when there IS no other choice. I mean, you probably brush your teeth every morning, right? Do you really LOVE brushing your teeth? I mean, you might like the tingly feeling and all, but you probably just do it as a matter of course. You've done it every day for years, and you don't even think "Should I brush my teeth this morning?" You just do it.

So make it a part of the day. If the treadmill is there at home, make it part of your morning. Maybe there's a show you like watching in the morning, or one on your TiVo that you like. Make it the show you watch on your treadmill. Every morning, get up about a half hour earlier, put on the workout clothes, jump on the treadmill, cue up the show, and run/jog/fast-walk until the show is over. Then shower, and continue on with your day. Then you won't have to try to work in exercise, or be faced with a decision "should I or shouldn't I?" You'll have already done it.

I started last year. Bought the WiiFit. When I started, I couldn't do the "short" run (about 3 minutes) without stopping halfway through. Now I can do the 30 minute jog. Combined with some simple dietary changes - not major ones - I'm down out of the "obese" category, and now I'm just "overweight". It's slow, but it's steady, and I've found I enjoy it. The extra energy alone makes it worthwhile.

Lex

 

[bspringer7]

Ok, REALLY trying to avoid all the obvious jokes here.

As far as Gastric Bypass, I would, but I previously lost weight with a certain program, and while I DID put it back on, I put it back on in the same fashion as anyone would normally gain weight. Meaning, it wasn't like I got off program and gained it all back in 6 months. So I tend to rule out GBS because I am ABLE to lose the weight, and I think that surgery should be reserved for those that can't.

And I really think that's a good idea, about forcing urself until its 2nd nature, really makes sense. Maybe i'll start with like 20 minutes and work up what I do. I appreciate the supportiveness of the ppl here today.

 

[strokes630]

Good for you that you told those caddy- assed queens to get lost.

I'd rather be with a guy with a little gut that knows how to live life and is happy, than with a guy with a six pack that is gym obsessed and is an asshole.

If I want to look at a perfect body...I'll download some porn...not stare at bodies at the gay beach.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>And I really think that's a good idea, about forcing urself until its 2nd nature, really makes sense. Maybe i'll start with like 20 minutes and work up what I do.

That's the way. You didn't gain the weight in a day, and you ain't gonna lose it in a day. Don't exercise so much that you dread it - that's when you start finding excuses to skip a day. Better 15 minutes every day for a month than two one-hour sessions followed by a "fuck the dumb shit".

Lex

 

[GM1985]

^^ I think he said he used to know them

I,ve just read every post in this thread and, once again I am saddened by the narrow minds some people posess. I felt like I wanted to add my own situation, without having the same responses from those that are close to me and whom I talk to (It's strange how talking to strangers can be easier)

Well right up until I was 13, I was a slim, happy kid who didn't worry about what I looked like at all. When I was approx 13, my Asthma had worsened which meant that any excercise I did would send me into an attack. For this I was given steroidal inhalers to combat the attacks, which in combination with the lack of excercise, ended with me gaining weight. By the time I was 15/16 I was approx 5'6" and 15 stone (210 pounds), thats a BMI of 33.95 (Obese).

I was deeply depressed at this stage and with my last year at school approaching, I decided to quit the medication that I felt had put a huge burden on me psychologically and physically. So thats what I did and low and behold by the time I had left school and went to college I was 5'10" and 13.5 Stones (189 Pounds). This accounts for a BMI of 27.16 (Overweight). Although I was still considered overweight I felt a little better about myself, but far from what many would call "normal".

After a year at College and then working (period of 2 years), I found I had grown to 5'11 and was now 11 stone (154 Pounds), BMI of 21.51 (Healthy). I could even fit into a UK waist size 28.

That was about 3/4 years ago now, currently I stand at 6'1 and weigh 12 stones (168 Pounds) BMI of 22.2 (Bang in the middle of healthy). However, being that size and losing the weight has left me with loose skin and unshiftable fat in the most prominent places, I have moobs and flab near enough everywhere!

The thing is, I eat (and always have eaten) healthily, I currently exercise (with very slow progress) but I still see myself as fat. Some people, from what I've heard on these boards would consider my current weight to be obese (medically they are wrong) but the image of a healthy young guy (I'm 24 in a month) is of muscle and ripped abs, with perfect skin etc.

Some days I feel happy in my skin, but most often than not I am not (I obsess over my appearance in the hopes to appear slim). Everytime weight gets mentioned, everyone I know tells me how slim I am and that I need to put weight on, but in my opinion this makes things worse! I know I'm fat (things look a helluva lot different with clothes on as to being naked).

By all this ranting you can probably tell that I have some psychological issues I need to work through (mostly due to my teenage years) but I felt I had to give a point of view account for those narrow minded individuals who have posted in here.

If anyone reads this, thanks for taking the time to listen to my endless rant!

Sometimes I need to have an outburst, and to my surprise, this thread was it!

Thank you to you all who fight for the reality that people who do not have washboard abs are not lepers or rejects!

 

[TierraSimms]

Maintain a healthy weight and a BMI below 25 and you will be fine. The point of things is to be healthy and not overweight, but if you are work on that. However, those that like to talk crap about somebody being dead if they are slightly overweight says a lot about their spirit and how fucked up it is.

All I have to say about shallow people including those who want to say that crap is, "You are a sad individual. What you put out is what you will get back, trust!"

 

[ibill1]

^^ I think he said he used to know them

I,ve just read every post in this thread and, once again I am saddened by the narrow minds some people posess. I felt like I wanted to add my own situation, without having the same responses from those that are close to me and whom I talk to (It's strange how talking to strangers can be easier)

Well right up until I was 13, I was a slim, happy kid who didn't worry about what I looked like at all. When I was approx 13, my Asthma had worsened which meant that any excercise I did would send me into an attack. For this I was given steroidal inhalers to combat the attacks, which in combination with the lack of excercise, ended with me gaining weight. By the time I was 15/16 I was approx 5'6" and 15 stone (210 pounds), thats a BMI of 33.95 (Obese).

I was deeply depressed at this stage and with my last year at school approaching, I decided to quit the medication that I felt had put a huge burden on me psychologically and physically. So thats what I did and low and behold by the time I had left school and went to college I was 5'10" and 13.5 Stones (189 Pounds). This accounts for a BMI of 27.16 (Overweight). Although I was still considered overweight I felt a little better about myself, but far from what many would call "normal".

After a year at College and then working (period of 2 years), I found I had grown to 5'11 and was now 11 stone (154 Pounds), BMI of 21.51 (Healthy). I could even fit into a UK waist size 28.

That was about 3/4 years ago now, currently I stand at 6'1 and weigh 12 stones (168 Pounds) BMI of 22.2 (Bang in the middle of healthy). However, being that size and losing the weight has left me with loose skin and unshiftable fat in the most prominent places, I have moobs and flab near enough everywhere!

The thing is, I eat (and always have eaten) healthily, I currently exercise (with very slow progress) but I still see myself as fat. Some people, from what I've heard on these boards would consider my current weight to be obese (medically they are wrong) but the image of a healthy young guy (I'm 24 in a month) is of muscle and ripped abs, with perfect skin etc.

Some days I feel happy in my skin, but most often than not I am not (I obsess over my appearance in the hopes to appear slim). Everytime weight gets mentioned, everyone I know tells me how slim I am and that I need to put weight on, but in my opinion this makes things worse! I know I'm fat (things look a helluva lot different with clothes on as to being naked).

By all this ranting you can probably tell that I have some psychological issues I need to work through (mostly due to my teenage years) but I felt I had to give a point of view account for those narrow minded individuals who have posted in here.

If anyone reads this, thanks for taking the time to listen to my endless rant!

Sometimes I need to have an outburst, and to my surprise, this thread was it!

Thank you to you all who fight for the reality that people who do not have washboard abs are not lepers or rejects!

I did not take it as an outburst. It was a well thought out post and thanks for sharing it with us. You eat healthy and thats a good thing. I think at times we all feel we are overweight or not toned enough etc. The only one to please is ourselves.

 

[Level27]

Just got home from the (Gay) beach. I loved swimming in the ocean and sitting on the beach and enjoyed the sun on my skin.

A couple I used to know from the gym walked past a few times - until they came to me and say hi. "We were not sure it was you"? Are you not going to the gym any more (I do! .... but do not live there 20 hours every week - more like 6) and of course it shows! Are you eating enough protein one of them asked with this worried look? I looked at my flat stomach - my six pack showing, in spite the fact I had gotten a little softer (Bodyfat percentage 11). I asked why? They told me I looked different and had gained a little fat - thats all. The guy asked why I did not wax my chest to get rid of those few chest hair it looked unsightly in his opinion.
Well they had to go - one gave me a hug and said it was good to see that I was not totally dead like the fatties over there. I looked at the men they referred to rolling their eyes - average nice guys and men - some with a little potbelly, but nice and wellgroomed. "What do you mean"? I asked - and one of the guys said "You know Overweight gay guys might as well be dead" - I don´t know why they even bother coming here"!!! Annoyed I told him to get lost. When I walked to my bike I wondered when I would be considered a goner ... I better start running longer, before I read my own obituary in the eyes of some gay men.

I don't know if anyone within these 4 pages has already said this, but according to their logic, more than half of America should die, especially those robust industry workers who help brought about the gyms in the country in the first place.

 

[purpleheadluver]

OMG, what a hilarious read this thread is.

Thanks for the cookies, Transpogue. I'm 28% fat, so I'm sure I'll enjoy them immensely.

 

[Level27]

As a overweight guy I find this thread is disgusting. surely the next built guy that says hi to me I will think double before giving him a hello back
now that i know how they think

Eh, Aries much?

 

[Jayden]

Why do people care so much if someone else is overweight?