Robin in response to your statements....
1. I'm 24 yrs old and in my entire life I've never heard or read of an apology from this government on slavery, and yes restitution should be given out to blacks of this country who are descendants of slaves. Why is it in high school the subject of slavery rarely exceeds more then two chapters in History class, when slavery played a huge part in American History and The United States was essentially built on the backs and sweat off enslaved and tortured Blacks.
It's time to do research then...A number of states have given apologies, and there have a number of resolutions in Congress to do the same. And that's ignoring the various statements right after the Civil War.
Also, I'm not debating that slavery wasn't a big part, but you may be over-stating the situation (outside of some pop culture references (you could argue that most of US pop culture is due to blacks), the majority of slave contributions is pretty much limited to agriculture). Besides, two chapters is a lot...
2. My black friends and I don't use the N word in any form, whether its nigger or nigga or whatever. You will find that most people who are educated regardless of race will not use terms like that.
You'd like to think so, wouldn't you? I know too many exceptions, however.
Growing up in a family with values we weren't allowed to use derogatory words of any sort and I follow that rule to this day as an adult. Plain and simple its ignorant and has no place in the English vocabulary.
No question about that, and it definitely backs your point about being raised right.
As for as your statement on security I believe you have a preconceived stereotype on African Americans.
In any discussion it helps to listen to what is being said. Some things you need to realize:
a) Security is about being paranoid, not being optimistic. Even black security officers tend to be paranoid re: blacks, and it's based off experience. It's easy to say it's racist, but you need to realize that a security officer is looking at trends rather than individuals, and there's too many blacks out there that are more interested in doing stupid things.
b) Keep in mind the "trend concept". Meaning: I tend to ignore individuals that don't seem to pose a problem, regardless of race. I look for sore thumbs. Suffice to say, this drives my current employer nuts (she thinks that all blacks should be watched!).
3) You need to realize that if a members of a group with an easily identifiable characteristic tend to be a problem, then it's hard not to look at that group in general as a problem. I recognize that I'm a having a problem with it currently, BUT it has more to do with being beat by a group of blacks on the way to a friend's, as well as seeing a lot of stupidity in the black civil rights movement as a whole.
You may not realize it but what you said comes off as racist and prejudice to me.
Again, it helps to pay attention to what people say (I did realize it, and pointed out that I realized it in the post following this). I also realize that you may have a problem looking at the situation with a detached perspective. Something to consider...
I have never walked into a store being loud and boisterous as you have explained, nor have I walked into a store acting "like I own the place", I don't dress like I've just stepped off a Ying Yang Twins video shoot, yet somehow I still get followed around and get asked if I need assistance several times in a few minutes.
Actually, you have two separate things going on, and are seriously confusing the two. You need to realize that customer service is seriously amped-up lately; even us white boys are getting asked if we need help a lot.
Read: You're being given great customer service, and are complaining about it. Get a grip.
[My ex-room-mate complained of this a lot (she was older black woman). What clued me in that it wasn't race-related is the she mentioned that she did a lot of looking around in specific sections, rather than just going in and grabbing things; that made her target. Also, I tend to get the same greetings as she did. In other words, if she as a black woman and I as a white male got the same reactions, does that make it race-related?]
The same can be said about my other black friends. Are we not allowed to just shop in peace? Magically somehow when I'm with a group of white people which happens often since I have friends of all races, we are just greeted once when we enter and are allowed to roam and browse all we want. How do you explain that?
The two groups shop differently? Seriously: Next time, take note of how each group looks at things, what kind of things each one looks at, and how they do it. It just feels weird that two different groups would shop the EXACT same way (and it's not due to different races; it's just that each group has it's own dynamic).
Also, be aware that people that look like they have money (you did point out your better-than-lower class status) and anyone interested in fashion (or whatever the store is selling) tend to also get more attention than normal. In other words: There are a number of possible reasons you get more attention with your black friends than with your white friends, and they don't necessarily have anything to do with your color.
Read what you have typed closely:
I can't explain the countless times I've witnessed a white person in front of me pay for a purchase with a credit card and not get asked for a license, yet when I do the same minutes later I still get asked even though all my cards are clearly signed on the back. When that happens if I have the time I ask for a manager or supervisor immediately and ask them why is it the cashier wants my drivers license for verification, yet didn't ask the white person in front of me for one.
Weird. They ask for my ID all the time as well. And I'm white. My cards are signed, etc., and I'm a nice guy. Yet...they still ask for ID.
Oh: And you'll notice that you're watching what the person ahead of you is doing. At the same time, part of you is gearing up for yet another confrontation. The cashier is going to note those tells on some level (not necessarily a conscious one), and will tend to react to that.
I'm guessing you seriously suck at poker...
I also explain to them that I will be calling their district office and asking for a copy of their merchant policy, and if my rights have been violated in any way I will be filing a complaint against the cashier and the stores management. Many merchant policies dictate that when a credit card is signed and the signature on the receipt or signature pad matches, that additional identification CANNOT be asked! Many times the cashier and the manager don't really know what to say and just stand there and apologize for any inconvenience.
Here's the part to seriously read: Most people would just show the ID and get it over with. Yet YOU (already geared up, remember?) threaten to sue them over something that they didn't know. Not only did you precipitate the situation, but you then proceeded to make it worse.
And then the clerk is obviously going to be confused as to why he stopped you, as he wasn't reacting to something conscious (he was reacting to your interest in the other customer's card and you tensing up). At least, that would be my read on it...
Here's the point Robin, as a person who isn't African American you will never understand the daily struggles that many blacks in this country face on a daily basis. Racism isn't in your face like it used to be, rarely does anyone come out and call you a nigger anymore but believe me when I say that racism happens on a daily basis to blacks in this country, its just a lot more subtle. Sometimes your notice and fight for your rights, but many times you just ignore it because you can't fight every battle.
No offense, but I'm starting to notice big-time that a lot of black people look for racism, and that by looking for something that they claim is "subtle" can find something whether it exists or not. A local columnist even found racism in the awarding of the Super Bowl MVP to the white QB over two black running back (the honor is traditionally given to the QB of the winning team; the running backs would have been out of the running by default).
I agree that there is some racism out there; I'm just debating how much there is...
RG