Q from a curious guy: getting f***ed - what's the big deal?

[tonyboy]

Alright, here's my thing. I'm generally straight, but I've done some j/o and oral with guys in the past. I'm curious about the next step. From what I understand, just about all gay guys love getting fucked. I'm a bit hesitant, so I got a dildo about the size of an average dick, stripped down, lubed up, and started fucking myself.

Now, I was expecting it to hurt at first, so I took it slow, and finally got to where I was pumping the thing pretty fast without any pain, other than a mild burning sensation from my anus. But here's the hangup: it never actually started to feel good.

I've watched my share of gay porn, trying to figure what it was all about, and they all seem to have this heavenly look on their faces when they're taking it, urging their partners to do it harder and faster, yada yada yada.

But I felt exactly zero pleasure. I kept at it for a good forty minutes. Tried jacking while I did it. Tried targeting my prostate. Nothing. My ass just burned.

So, maybe some of you more experienced fellas can help me out. Am I missing something? Am I just a "born top" for some reason? What's the big deal about getting fucked? I just don't get it.

Well man, first thing is you figured wrong about all gay guys loving to fuck or be fucked. Gay porn shows that of course, but that is not the real world.

Some guys like to give it and get it of course, nothing wrong with that at all. But it is not the only way that gay guys like to have sex. Growing up I've heard all the terms from straight people about gay folk.... fuck buddies, fudge packers, etc. and etc.
Truth is not all gay guys are into anal sex. Rimming, oral sex, kissing, mutual jackoff, lot's of other ways to satisfy a guy you are having sex with.

So friend, if you are ot getting off with your new toy, don't worry. Just find the right guy. He will take care of you without burning your ass with his tool. There is much more to gay sex than fucking. Lot's of guys love it, but lot's of guys have other ways of bringing the same pleasure.

 

[Framboise]

Actually if you jizz while it's up your patootie, you'll feel it.

Same thing happens to me, I don't get pleasure from it until I tell the mayor to leave.

 

[luminum]

Not all gay guys love to do it. Some just like to be the top. Some find being a bottom emasculating. Some just don't like it because they think it's dirty.

Butt sex is only as good as you're relaxed and your partner is patient.

Adidasluvr wrote a "sticky topic" about how to go about anal sex in the health forum, but I'm trying to find it.

Basically, you should be very relaxed. Try doing lots of foreplay and doing it with someone you're comfortable with.

Using very very very generous amounts of lube, it should be applied to your ass, probably via some slow and steady and comfrotable fingering to also help relax your sphinter muscles.

Your partner should also apply generous amounts of lubricant to his penis and slowly ease into the penetration. The moment you feel it burning or it feels uncomfortably painful to you, tell him to stop and let your ass adjust to the insertion. When you feel more relaxed and ready, signal for him to continue slowly easing himself in.

Once he's completely in, he shoudl let you slowly adjust to the feeling and the penetration and only when you feel you're ready begin slowly and shortly moving back and forth slowly increasing the length of retractiona nd isnertion and slwoly icnreasing speed as you feel comfortable. After you've relaxed and feel fine, then it's no holds barred.

It will probably still feel odd. Sticking something in your ass doesn't automatically feel like magic, but the overall feeling, mostly due to prostate stimulation and anal sphincter stimulation is incredibly pleasurable, and more so when coupled with penile stimulation.

And always used a freaking condom!

 

[Brer Fox]

The amount of pleasure you recieve from receptive anal sex varies due to the sensitivity of the individual. It is sort of like being ticklish; for some people tickling can practically be torture, for others they recieve no sensation at all.

It seems, from what I have gathered, that some people just have a higher concentration of, or more sensitive, nerves down there. For me personally, anal stimulation is incredibly satisfying, and I would put on almost the same level of pleasure as what the penis provides. When the two are combined, I can easily get to that eyes-rolling-back-can't-help-moaning stage.

As unfortunate as it may be, you seem like you are just one of the anally inert. If you did indeed recieve 'zero pleasure,' I can almost certainly say this. Even if it hurts like the dickens there should have still been at least a tinge of 'ooh' in there. Your sensation may have just been drowned out by pain, and you may very well get used to it, but I am just commenting from personal experience that the first time I ever masturbated anally it felt just as good as it does today.

Good luck.

 

[alpha0963]

i'd advise you to try getting fucked by the real thing before you decide that anal sex isn't for you... just be careful and take it slow.

 

[Brad]

i'd advise you to try getting fucked by the real thing before you decide that anal sex isn't for you... just be careful and take it slow.

Agreed. I hate things in my ass including most guys, but, the right guy; oh yeah!
And dildos?! Duh! Who invented that shit anyway?

 

[JackFTwist]

being fucked is a fantastic feeling for me

dildos don't do it at all

 

[hoosierguy]

I have to agree, not all gay men like anal sex.
Having said that, to me it has all to do with your partner. I really don't get the top and bottom thing. I just do what comes naturally. I tend to prefer the masculine type of guys so I usually end up being the bottom.
And many times I've heard these guys say that it isn't macsuline to get fucked. Too bad....I rather like it!

 

[randyreese]

Definately all gay guys do not like anal sex. It is not to everyone's liking - so discontinue that shit with the dildo and concentration on other means that give you pleasure and turn you on. Perhaps in time with the real thing and with the one you love, you may have totally different experiences.

 

[phoenix99]

I agree with alpha0963, try it with the real thing, then make a decision. Maybe you would really like to do the fucking?

 

[thacket3]

I am 99% top, but when I am really into someone, I want to feel "him" in my ass. It's not even the actual sensation of getting fucked, I am all about the guy who is fucking me. In other words, it's the feeling of "his" cock in my ass that gets me off.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[sweet_taboo]

Getting fucked with a dildo doesn't even begin to compare to being fucked by a man with a hard, fat dick. I suggest calling an experienced friend to help you discover the JOY of getting fucked...

 

[lapafrax]

Alright, here's my thing. I'm generally straight, but I've done some j/o and oral with guys in the past. I'm curious about the next step. From what I understand, just about all gay guys love getting fucked. I'm a bit hesitant, so I got a dildo about the size of an average dick, stripped down, lubed up, and started fucking myself.

Now, I was expecting it to hurt at first, so I took it slow, and finally got to where I was pumping the thing pretty fast without any pain, other than a mild burning sensation from my anus. But here's the hangup: it never actually started to feel good.

I've watched my share of gay porn, trying to figure what it was all about, and they all seem to have this heavenly look on their faces when they're taking it, urging their partners to do it harder and faster, yada yada yada.

But I felt exactly zero pleasure. I kept at it for a good forty minutes. Tried jacking while I did it. Tried targeting my prostate. Nothing. My ass just burned.

So, maybe some of you more experienced fellas can help me out. Am I missing something? Am I just a "born top" for some reason? What's the big deal about getting fucked? I just don't get it.

OK, so because you get no pleasure from being fucked, that means everyone else shouldn't?

If I hate vanilla ice cream, should everyone else hate it too?

 

[looseliam]

I like just about anything in my ass. Well, not large automotive parts or furry rodents.

Shaved rodents are OK

 

[ncguy7]

You might be like me - I'm just not into dildoing myself. I don't like it.

As for getting fucked - by a guy with his dick - that has run the gamut from extremely hot to extremely not.

For me, topping is always good. But getting fucked can either be GREAT or not so good at all. It depends on how it goes. But my very, very best sex has been getting fucked, not fucking. There's nothing like an ass-gasm, and there's something that's very hot about a man that wants to fuck you.

But I agree with the others who say you've really got to try it with a guy first. And from my point view, that won't always tell the story. I've had some bottoming that ended up being an endurance test. But the blissful times were worth it.

 

[jizzeater]

I like real AND rubber dicks. It starts hitting my spot (prostate), and I'm like "oh oh oh".

Once you get going, if it doesn't start feeling good, then anal probably isn't for you.

 

[Theyoungman]

Sigh... YOu don't understand do you mister "straight" guy?

 

[spreadeagle]

I don't know that fucking is necessarily 'the next step' - there is nothing that determines appropriacy or hierarchy of sexual activities except the pleasure you derive from them.

Is imitation a reasonable motivation or impetus? Why did you start going hard and fast? I guess cos thats what you seen on videos, which bear about as much similarity to anal as a drag queen does to a woman.

Apart from stimulation of the prostate most of the sensation of anal derives from the concentration of nerve-endings immediately around your arsehole. You might have been better off using a lubed finger to tickle and circle externally and only moved on to penetration if you felt yourself irresistibly driven to do so.

 

[Joshua_me]

To reiterate:

Dildos and actual dicks are two different things.


Having a guy you care about inside you is amazing beyond all words.
It's more than physical, although that's part of it, it's emotional as well.

Don't sweat it. All good things in all good time.

It'll happen.

 

[lapafrax]

OK, so because you get no pleasure from being fucked, that means everyone else shouldn't?

Did I say you shouldn't? Did I even imply it? I'm just trying to get it, that's all.

Your knee-jerk reaction indicates some sort of underlying defensiveness. Turn it off, if you please. Seeking out a reason to take offense when none exists is not flattering.

To everybody else who commented, I appreciate the insight. I suppose it's just not for me.

Heh, whatever. But as I said, just because you don't enjoy getting fucked, doesn't mean anyone else can't or doesn't enjoy it.

Maybe your problem was using a dildo Like, a dick to a dildo is like chalk and cheese!