Queerty article: Bisexual and down low men talk gay sex sad about hurting female partners

[kallipolis]

If only life were black, and white and everyone fitted into the human model that best reveals the ideal human being.

What is the ideal human person? Not, I.

What about the person here who believes that they can decide what's best for other human beings, without knowing them?

I would appreciate frank answers.

 

[NotHardUp1]

But your framing of "shit on somebody" is a subjective assessment.

The hookup sites are notorious for casting sentiments aside and posting brass tacks profiles. They are equally notorious for people ignoring the listing description and trying anyway.

As little as I like meat market mentality, it is the prerogative of those who frequent CL, Adam4Adam, etc. to shop for what they want. After receiving overtures for time after time from someone else, I don't think they are necessarily "shitting" on fats, fems, short, etc., just to post exclusion. They have in no way deprived those disfavored of any right to date or be on the site, only that they are not welcome to that person's preferences.

And it doesn't even follow that they are insults. Some are. They are preferences.

 

[refujiunderground]

But your framing of "shit on somebody" is a subjective assessment.

The hookup sites are notorious for casting sentiments aside and posting brass tacks profiles. They are equally notorious for people ignoring the listing description and trying anyway.

As little as I like meat market mentality, it is the prerogative of those who frequent CL, Adam4Adam, etc. to shop for what they want. After receiving overtures for time after time from someone else, I don't think they are necessarily "shitting" on fats, fems, short, etc., just to post exclusion. They have in no way deprived those disfavored of any right to date or be on the site, only that they are not welcome to that person's preferences.

And it doesn't even follow that they are insults. Some are. They are preferences.

smh. it's not just app sites. it's the same thing in real life.

and are you seriously trying to justify that bullshit? naw, man... sorry, breh. it doesn't work like that. you can't say that it's okay for gay people to be bigoted and assholes then hold a different standard for those that are not gay.

if a straight person who was looking for friends wrote or said that "they don't want to either be friends with gay people because they don't approve of them and their lifestyle", "no homos" and etc. would that NOT be offensive or homophobic? would you NOT take offense to that. no one is telling them to make friends with gay people but the fact is that they are disrespecting them for being gay. you do not have to date, be friends, have sex and etc with someone in order to respect them or treat them like a human being. that is NOT hard to do. unfortunately, you have insecure people who think that they have to diss those around them in order to say that they are somebody. shit is sad.

please stop trying to justify shit like that because you're only opening the door for people to do the same shit to you and others like you for who you are and chances are, you probably wouldn't be able to handle it so let's not give people passes for bad behavior. if you're interested in whoever for whatever reason, just go after whoever. make fucking sense basically talking shit then getting surprised or shocked when someone takes an issue. it's called taking responsibility.

 

[NotHardUp1]

No hate at all, not even for the guys using the sites. I'm not a fan of treating humans like commodities, but it's a voluntary system and I have no right to tell them not to join or participate.

Your analogy isn't applicable. A straight person looking for friends is not the equal of men looking for sex on a hookup site. If a man is posting his pic looking for a partner states "no gay people," I am not offended, as he is not homosexual. I do believe that there is a fraction of gay men who would approach a straight man with propositions when he has plainly posted for women. If he declares his disinterest, it's just that, disinterest, not an attempt slur gay men.

It's not "bad behavior." It's a preference. They don't want to date gay, or fat, or femme, or whatever. And "dating" is a generous term for how those hookup sites work.

 

[kallipolis]

No hate at all, not even for the guys using the sites. I'm not a fan of treating humans like commodities, but it's a voluntary system and I have no right to tell them not to join or participate.

Your analogy isn't applicable. A straight person looking for friends is not the equal of men looking for sex on a hookup site. If a man is posting his pic looking for a partner states "no gay people," I am not offended, as he is not homosexual. I do believe that there is a fraction of gay men who would approach a straight man with propositions when he has plainly posted for women. If he declares his disinterest, it's just that, disinterest, not an attempt slur gay men.

It's not "bad behavior." It's a preference. They don't want to date gay, or fat, or femme, or whatever. And "dating" is a generous term for how those hookup sites work.

Well noted......

 

[refujiunderground]

No hate at all, not even for the guys using the sites. I'm not a fan of treating humans like commodities, but it's a voluntary system and I have no right to tell them not to join or participate.

Your analogy isn't applicable. A straight person looking for friends is not the equal of men looking for sex on a hookup site. If a man is posting his pic looking for a partner states "no gay people," I am not offended, as he is not homosexual. I do believe that there is a fraction of gay men who would approach a straight man with propositions when he has plainly posted for women. If he declares his disinterest, it's just that, disinterest, not an attempt slur gay men.

It's not "bad behavior." It's a preference. They don't want to date gay, or fat, or femme, or whatever. And "dating" is a generous term for how those hookup sites work.

you're really trying too hard.

it is the same. it doesn't matter if it's a hookup site or just socializing with someone in a club. it's about respect first and foremost. if you can't give respect, then you can't complain if you don't get it. you treat people exactly the way you want to be treated. i see many gay guys respect women and don't go about shitting on them even when they are NOT attracted to them so what you're saying is a cop out or makes no sense. they can be disrespectful to women but CHOOSE not to. the some that i've seen that have done it do it by CHOICE. once again, it's called taking responsibility. don't blame someone else for another person choosing to be an asshole. that is lame and a cop out. as i said, you are only opening the door for those who aren't gay to do the same shit to you. are you guilty of doing this behavior yourself which is why you're trying so hard to justify it?

this is why i often don't take the words of some gay guys seriously because they simply are disconnected from what they are saying. they talk a good game, talk about this and that but when you see how they live and hear what they say, it's like they don't realize that they are basically the same type of person they despise. so why are they talking shit to begin with? it would be one thing if they admitted that they weren't perfect or full of shit but these guys try to act like they are so special and high class when they are lames. people like that don't grow and really shouldn't be yapping about anything.

 

[-Kane-]

Queerty is a shitrag site that frequently posts a bunch of inane dumb shit.
I don't take anything posted there as serious debate topics.

 

[MorrisseyX]

Not sure why we should accept "down low" as a term. They're closeted. "Down low" adds mystique or status or similar. They're closeted just like anyone else ashamed of who they are.

The same is true of promiscuity for those in LTRs. If one uses the term "playing around" instead of "cheating" or "promiscuous," it removes it from the context in a manner which is biased in favor of amorality. And that's different than someone stating he is in an open relationship. Faithfulness IS a big deal, not just in heteronormative or religious contexts.

I don't think these men are ashamed nobody has addressed the hypocrisy and prejudices of WOMEN against bisexual men. In society nobody cares about bisexual women but a bi man is treated like a monster. These men know if they come out their female partners will leave him. So isn't it the woman fault why these men do not come out?

 

[luckynumbah7]

I don't think these men are ashamed nobody has addressed the hypocrisy and prejudices of WOMEN against bisexual men. In society nobody cares about bisexual women but a bi man is treated like a monster. These men know if they come out their female partners will leave him. So isn't it the woman fault why these men do not come out?

....I see you know jack shit about women, bisexual or otherwise. Somehow this is not a surprise.

And no, blaming someone else for actively cheating isn't the not-cheating partner's fault.

 

[Soilwork]

If only society was more open minded that these down low and bisexual guys would not have to feel the need to hide their sexual desires.

What a bunch of spineless, crybaby losers at the game of life.

Fucking hell, man up and stop blaming "society" for your own inability to just... be you.

 

[jbrown329]

I'm sorry (not really), but if you claim to be straight and are looking to suck cock or take it in the ass, you are not straight. Or the guys that post "mostly straight". Just admit it, you're bisexual.

 

[rareboy]

I'm sorry (not really), but if you claim to be straight and are looking to suck cock or take it in the ass, you are not straight. Or the guys that post "mostly straight". Just admit it, you're bisexual.

Please.

This.

I am too old to put up with this 'down low', I'm not a homo bullshit.

I have no issue with bisexuality. But stop pretending that you are a straight guy that just wants man on man sex.

And please don't cheat. It always used to steal a little bit of my soul when I found out that some guy I had just been fucking around with was cheating on his wife. Once I knew they were cheating...I refused to repeat the sex...even though in a couple of cases...it was fucking amazing.

 

[kallipolis]

I'm sorry (not really), but if you claim to be straight and are looking to suck cock or take it in the ass, you are not straight. Or the guys that post "mostly straight". Just admit it, you're bisexual.

I have known guys who take it up the arse, and suck cock for money. After earning their remuneration, they meet their girlfriend at a bar where they dance, and drink the night away on the proceeds. Drug addicts are also fond of taking it up the arse, and sucking cock so that they can buy their next fix.

I doubt whether too many rent boys will agree with your opinion.

 

[rareboy]

^ Agree or disagree. Doesn't matter to me.

A lot of men have not turned to cock-sucking. Bi is Bi.

 

[pat grimshaw]

I have known guys who take it up the arse, and suck cock for money.

Yes, they boast that it's just an another athletic challenge to take six or so inches of engorged flesh into their lower bowel. No wurries, mate!

 

[sixthson]

I don't think these men are ashamed nobody has addressed the hypocrisy and prejudices of WOMEN against bisexual men. In society nobody cares about bisexual women but a bi man is treated like a monster. These men know if they come out their female partners will leave him. So isn't it the woman fault why these men do not come out?

Are you serious? Blame the wives because their husbands lie to them about who they are? If a man chooses to marry a woman and keep his bisexuality a secret, then fine, but don't go play around behind her back. Lots of men, straight and otherwise, have always blamed their women for their infidelity. They cry if only she were more affectionate or respectful or sexual, then he wouldn't wander.
Baloney! These are men who would cheat no matter how much sex they got at home.

A bisexual man who insists on his right to have sex with both men and women, should either be upfront with prospective spouses and let her decide if she can live with it or he should remain single.

Look at all the men at JUB who at some point in time have decided they were not going to let society or culture or anything else dictate whom they loved. Did it take courage? You bet. Which is exactly the opposite of what these men you are talking about have.

I really can't believe anyone would defend such dishonesty, Morrissey.

 

[luckynumbah7]

^Hell, lots of women also blame their men for their infidelity. Still a breach of ethics no matter which way you slice it. It sounds no better blaming it on bisexuality. If you can't talk about it honestly with your partner then you shouldn't be doing it behind their back.

 

[kallipolis]

Yes, they boast that it's just an another athletic challenge to take six or so inches of engorged flesh into their lower bowel. No wurries, mate!

When you need to eat, and pay for your place on a carpet to sleep, a dick is not so difficult to suck or accept up the arse.

 

[MorrisseyX]

Are you serious? Blame the wives because their husbands lie to them about who they are? If a man chooses to marry a woman and keep his bisexuality a secret, then fine, but don't go play around behind her back. Lots of men, straight and otherwise, have always blamed their women for their infidelity. They cry if only she were more affectionate or respectful or sexual, then he wouldn't wander.
Baloney! These are men who would cheat no matter how much sex they got at home.

A bisexual man who insists on his right to have sex with both men and women, should either be upfront with prospective spouses and let her decide if she can live with it or he should remain single.

Look at all the men at JUB who at some point in time have decided they were not going to let society or culture or anything else dictate whom they loved. Did it take courage? You bet. Which is exactly the opposite of what these men you are talking about have.

I really can't believe anyone would defend such dishonesty, Morrissey.

Again, I am not bisexual but I am trying to see it from the bisexual man point of view. Of course the women are to blame. Think about it, these men feel like nobody understands them they live in a society that is against bisexuality. What choice do these men have? They can lose their friends or families the only choice they got is to live on the down low. And the women in their lives are homophobic and biphobic. How many women would accept a bisexual or down low man? Not many. You ignore the fact FEMALE BISEXUALITY IS ACCEPTED IN SOCIETY. Nobody talks about this why? If a woman says she is bisexual nobody cares. Female sexuality is seen as fluid yet male sexuality is not seen or viewed as fluid. There is a SEXIST double standard against bisexual men. Look at the biphobia in this thread. These men need to be researched and understood that is why sex research is so important. People are quick to judge. As the article from Queerty stated these men view to be gay or bisexual as more about romantic feelings and emotional feelings. For these men having sex with another man is just a physical release. Look at all the gay porn stars many of these men have stated they are not gay or bisexual but gay men will not accept this. Rocco Reed, Johnny Rapid, Tom Faulk all admit they enjoy having sex with men BUT they do not want a romantic relationship with another man. They do not take the bisexual label because they simply enjoy the gay sex but return to their female partners.

 

[luckynumbah7]

What choice do they have? They can pull up their big-boy britches and act like adults instead of blaming women (yet again) for their cheating.

-You also do a shit job of putting yourself in a bisexual perspective, lemmie say. Cuz blaming your partner for your own actions has nothing to do with bisexuality.