OUTAGE....had to sneak this in beforePuddls could deny it.
All regional accents are deferredd due to time constraints...Puddles
> At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of "Guilty with an
> explanation." The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my
> story.
>
> "Your Honour," I said, "I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually
> kept. I was met with: 'Hi! I'm Puddles!' This perky clipboard carrier
> smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I
> need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then
> slip on this gown. Everything clear?' I'm thinking, 'Puddles, try decaf.
> This ain't rocket science.'
>
> Puddles skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right
> side finished, Puddles flipped me (literally) to the left and said,
> 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get
> everything?'
>
> 'Fine', I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not
> use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off? My
> body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast
> wedged between those two 4” pieces of square glass) when we heard, then
> felt a zap!
>
> Complete darkness and the power went off!
>
> 'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Puddles said, and
> headed for the door. 'Excuse me!
> You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted. Puddles kept
> going and said, 'Oh, you fussy
> puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights.
> I'll be right back.'
>
> Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's exactly how
>Dave Quasar and Paul York, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me ... half-naked
> with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed
> between glass!
>
> After exchanging a polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greeting, Dave (or
> possibly Paul) asked, to my utter
> disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I
> replied with as much calmness as possible
>
> 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.' 'You bet, take care' Paul
replied and waved
> good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
>
> Two hours later, Puddles breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no
> attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The
> power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to
> lunch. Are we upset?'
>
> And that, Your Honour, is exactly how her head ended up between the
> clamps...."
>
> The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said 'Case
> Dismissed!!'.
Good day to you, fair lady. Are you enjoying your "frolicking" among us??? 
Maybe a few of you! 
, Remember there's no such thing as too gay! 
I already know she's more than capable with a rifle 
](/images/smilies/bang.gif "Brick wall ](*,)")
