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Relationship advice needed. I have a really toxic relationship and I don't know whos at fault. I hate that I cant get out

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I'm literally on the verge of losing my mind
What if I delete and block him...and then I see him at a bar or he messages me on Grindr. What then?
 
theweakling said:
I'm literally on the verge of losing my mind
What if I delete and block him...and then I see him at a bar or he messages me on Grindr. What then?
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Well, you could always wait for a year before deleting him or 5 years or a lifetime. Believe it or not, he is not the only guy on the planet you can love. I have to agree with you, you are driving yourself crazy. It's miserable, isn't it?
 
sixthson said:
Well, you could always wait for a year before deleting him or 5 years or a lifetime. Believe it or not, he is not the only guy on the planet you can love. I have to agree with you, you are driving yourself crazy. It's miserable, isn't it?
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I'm literally 26 and I've never had a boyfriend. I can barely land a hookup. I've only been with 13 guys in a 5 year span and most of them were gross in retrospect. I get ignored literally 1/500 times on Grindr. The only people hitting me up are extremely unattractive. I go to the gym regularly and its like what even is the point? Its just not going to happen for me. This guy was blond and twinky and cool and hip and I'm like this loser with no friends and no career and I feel like I blew it. I've said this before but I feel like the universe gave me a second chance having him come back and I still wasnt good enough.
 
theweakling said:
I'm literally on the verge of losing my mind
What if I delete and block him...and then I see him at a bar or he messages me on Grindr. What then?
Click to expand...


theweakling said:
I'm literally 26 and I've never had a boyfriend. I can barely land a hookup. I've only been with 13 guys in a 5 year span and most of them were gross in retrospect. I get ignored literally 1/500 times on Grindr. The only people hitting me up are extremely unattractive. I go to the gym regularly and its like what even is the point? Its just not going to happen for me. This guy was blond and twinky and cool and hip and I'm like this loser with no friends and no career and I feel like I blew it. I've said this before but I feel like the universe gave me a second chance having him come back and I still wasnt good enough.
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OK here's what you do, you throw your phone in the toilet and flush it down, then you take a bat to your T.V. drop your computer off a cliff then drop any other networked devices into the ocean, Then you board up all your windows and bar the door. NEVER ever, leave your house again, or communicate in any way with the cruel world in which there are so many paralyzing chances of randomly encountering someone and being driven to insanity.

What you are doing is whining, and that is certainly not attractive. After looking back at this thread I'm revising my advice. Sometimes people come in here and spin a dramatic story because they have nothing going on in their lives. It's a way of vicariously having a life without all that bother of leaving the house. I begin to suspect that this is what you are doing.

The only way you are ever going to have a real life out there in the real world is if you go put in the effort. No amount of histrionics and absurd extremist bemoaning in here is going to get you anywhere.
 
TX-Beau said:
OK here's what you do, you throw your phone in the toilet and flush it down, then you take a bat to your T.V. drop your computer off a cliff then drop any other networked devices into the ocean, Then you board up all your windows and bar the door. NEVER ever, leave your house again, or communicate in any way with the cruel world in which there are so many paralyzing chances of randomly encountering someone and being driven to insanity.

What you are doing is whining, and that is certainly not attractive. After looking back at this thread I'm revising my advice. Sometimes people come in here and spin a dramatic story because they have nothing going on in their lives. It's a way of vicariously having a life without all that bother of leaving the house. I begin to suspect that this is what you are doing.

The only way you are ever going to have a real life out there in the real world is if you go put in the effort. No amount of histrionics and absurd extremist bemoaning in here is going to get you anywhere.
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I literally joined a gay sports league after he left me the first time so I actually do leave my house. If you think I'm literally doing nothing at home, you're dead wrong
 
When I say no friends I mean like 4 friends that I can talk to...I have an okay number of acquaintances. I'm still extremely unpopular and uncool...like I literally have less than 100 IG followers. Yes I was the social outcast in HS and college but it's not like I'm not trying to be.
 
Well then since you've done everything possible to change your situation just read that first part.

I don't believe you. I suspect you are using this thread to have a vicarious life. Which is fine as far as that goes, but until you do something about yourself for YOURSELF, your real self, to change the way you feel about YOURSELF, you won't have any of those things you say you want.

It really is that simple. If you want to be fit, go do that FOR YOURSELF. If you want a degree, or a career, or to be an artiste, well all of that is possible when you stop pretending you are paralyzed by the mere chance of encountering someone I suspect isn't real anyway.
 
theweakling said:
When I say no friends I mean like 4 friends that I can talk to...I have an okay number of acquaintances. I'm still extremely unpopular and uncool...like I literally have less than 100 IG followers. Yes I was the social outcast in HS and college but it's not like I'm not trying to be.
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This is perfectly illustrative of your problem, whether this is true or not, people recognize when you dislike yourself, and generally take the cue from the authority on you, YOU.

No one can change that but you, and you start the process by deciding who you want to be, making a plan, then executing it, FOR YOURSELF, with no other motive than to make yourself someone you can like.
 
TX-Beau said:
Well then since you've done everything possible to change your situation just read that first part.

I don't believe you. I suspect you are using this thread to have a vicarious life. Which is fine as far as that goes, but until you do something about yourself for YOURSELF, your real self, to change the way you feel about YOURSELF, you won't have any of those things you say you want.

It really is that simple. If you want to be fit, go do that FOR YOURSELF. If you want a degree, or a career, or to be an artiste, well all of that is possible when you stop pretending you are paralyzed by the mere chance of encountering someone I suspect isn't real anyway.
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Lol my life is sad but it's not so sad that I need to "live vicariously" through a sad internet story...like that literally makes no sense. If you wanna believe this is fake, that's fine (even though I have plenty of text screenshots to prove otherwise) idc but you can honestly leave this thread that I'm using as an outlet

Like I'm going to parties and meeting people but do you think it's easy to make people stick or stay in your life?

Furthermore, I said I'm afraid of running into him. Where did you see me say I was so paralyzed by this fear that I can't leave my house? No offense but can you literally stop jumping to these baseless conclusions?
 
Here's an idea, take all of your creativity and spin this thread into a romance novel and see if you can sell it. Romance novels are full of high drama and doomed loves and have the happy coincidence of being very lucrative.

I'm not kidding.
 
theweakling said:
Lol my life is sad but it's not so sad that I need to "live vicariously" through a sad internet story...like that literally makes no sense. If you wanna believe this is fake, that's fine (even though I have plenty of text screenshots to prove otherwise) idc but you can honestly leave this thread that I'm using as an outlet

Like I'm going to parties and meeting people but do you think it's easy to make people stick or stay in your life?

Furthermore, I said I'm afraid of running into him. Where did you see me say I was so paralyzed by this fear that I can't leave my house? No offense but can you literally stop jumping to these baseless conclusions?
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Actually I said you were paralyzed by fear of chance encounters of him and THEREFORE don't leave the house. I find it odd how quickly you aren't quite so forlorn the moment someone calls you out for histrionics, but no matter, and this is what you get when you ask strangers publicly for advice. You get it.
 
TX-Beau said:
Here's an idea, take all of your creativity and spin this thread into a romance novel and see if you can sell it. Romance novels are full of high drama and doomed loves and have the happy coincidence of being very lucrative.

I'm not kidding.
Click to expand...

What do you want receipts of? My texts with this guy? My receipts for my payments for joining said gay sports leagues?
 
TX-Beau said:
Actually I said you were paralyzed by fear of chance encounters of him and THEREFORE don't leave the house. I find it odd how quickly you aren't quite so forlorn the moment someone calls you out for histrionics, but no matter, and this is what you get when you ask strangers publicly for advice. You get it.
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And that's the baseless assumption
 
TX-Beau said:
Actually I said you were paralyzed by fear of chance encounters of him and THEREFORE don't leave the house. I find it odd how quickly you aren't quite so forlorn the moment someone calls you out for histrionics, but no matter, and this is what you get when you ask strangers publicly for advice. You get it.
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Just because I'm sad about this guy, I can't be upset that you're calling me a liar? I can't be upset when a stranger is making baseless assumptions and accusations? Please
 
Oh wait. You're that guy who accused me of fishing for sympathy when I mentioned I drafted a suicide note. Sod off.
 
theweakling said:
What do you want receipts of? My texts with this guy? My receipts for my payments for joining said gay sports leagues?
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Sugar, the total scope of my investment in your story is this thread, and even that is waning. Frankly the more you attempt to prove your story to a complete stranger on the internet, the less likely I am to believe anything you assert.

Now how about that suggestion, do you think you might like to write as a career? I think that is something you might find fulfilling.
 
theweakling said:
Oh wait. You're that guy who accused me of fishing for sympathy when I mentioned I drafted a suicide note. Sod off.
Click to expand...

Getting pissy with me isn't going to help you with anything. As I said above, if you don't want commentary on your story, don't post it and ask.
 
TX-Beau said:
Sugar, the total scope of my investment in your story is this thread, and even that is waning. Frankly the more you attempt to prove your story to a complete stranger on the internet, the less likely I am to believe anything you assert.

Now how about that suggestion, do you think you might like to write as a career? I think that is something you might find fulfilling.
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That's fine. You can leave. Posting receipts on imgur is incredibly easy and takes two minutes but hey, you clearly want to continue believing I'm fake and that you're right. We're done here. Please add me to your blocked or ignore list as I have also done the same
 
TX-Beau said:
Getting pissy with me isn't going to help you with anything. As I said above, if you don't want commentary on your story, don't post it and ask.
Click to expand...

Commentary is fine when the other person is smart enough not to jump to baseless conclusions. Sorry bout it.
 
I have enough shit going on in my life. I don't need some dick coming into my thread that I'm using as an outlet accusing me of lying about something that's been extremely painful for me for a year. Like oh no I'm not immediately taking everyone's advice therefore I'm not trying. The actual fuck
 
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