Robin Roberts, Jason Collins,Derrick Gordon, Michael Sam dating white gays why?

[MakeDigitalLove]

 

[MorrisseyX]

So you're a racist. Got it - at least you got to meat of the matter and stopped hiding behind the bullshit.

Of course I can ask how you confirmed that Latifah, MC Lyte and Tyler Perry are gay, but I don't care, and even more than that, I don't care to get the answer from someone who is habitually wrong.

BTW, as mentioned, Michael Sam was with his man BEFORE the draft, so no, he did not "pick up his white prize" on the way to the Rams; you and the rest of the peons that think like you are just salty like a child not getting its' way.

I am not a racist I am just a proud gay black man.You are very immature throwing a loaded word like racist around. You obviously lack the intelligence to understand my argument. I do think it sends the WRONG message to the black community when the FEW OUT black gays have white lovers. I know many other black gay men feel the way I do. Sorry unlike you I will NOT places white gays as some gold standard. It would be MORE empowering to see these black gay public figures at least one of them with a black partner. You act and pretend that the white image is not entrenched in queer culture.

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

I think this is apt, yeah.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Look maybe for you since you are white think this is funny BUT when you are from a marginalized community and see people from your race follow the white standard it is very disappointing. I don't think white gay people understand my point of view. It would be MORE empowering to the black community gay or straight if these black public figures had BLACK partners. I don' think Lex truly understands what it means to be ostracized.

You missed the mark on this one. Sure 99% of JUB is apathetic and even hostile towards any plight regarding homos of color, but Lex gets it he just has what some people refer to as "a sense of humor." Relax Felicia.

 

[IamNoah]

I'm going back here, *if* all these interracial relationships do represent a preference for caucasian flesh is that in and of itself bad? I get why exclusionary language and profiles that list a given ethnic group alongside a list of undesirable traits are problematic; but surely the mere fact of being primarily attracted to whites is 1) understandable (for cultural and demographic reasons) most minority groups in most of the world are attracted to the majority where they live 2) not necessarily an indication of hostility towards the group one is not attracted to.

Also I reiterate that no one is obligated to treat their choices in wedding and bedding like some community building exercise. Life is short and in my experience most gay men are romantic failures; get in where you fit in.

 

[MorrisseyX]

You missed the mark on this one. Sure 99% of JUB is apathetic and even hostile towards any plight regarding homos of color, but Lex gets it he just has what some people refer to as "a sense of humor." Relax Felicia.

Are you a gay black man? Because obviously you obviously do not get it I found Lex joke to be ignorant.

 

[MorrisseyX]

I'm going back here, *if* all these interracial relationships do represent a preference for caucasian flesh is that in and of itself bad? I get why exclusionary language and profiles that list a given ethnic group alongside a list of undesirable traits are problematic; but surely the mere fact of being primarily attracted to whites is 1) understandable (for cultural and demographic reasons) most minority groups in most of the world are attracted to the majority where they live 2) not necessarily an indication of hostility towards the group one is not attracted to.

Also I reiterate that no one is obligate to treat their choices in wedding and bedding like some community building exercise. Life is short an in my experience mosst gay men are romantic failures; get in where you fit in.

Your statement is very PC but you fail to acknowledge that WHITENESS is symbolized in queer culture as the ultimate standard. Yes people can date whomever they want BUT what I am talking about is the fact the FEW out gay black entertainers sleep with white lovers. I think it was a conscious decision on their parts wanting social acceptance for being gay by going white.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Are you a gay black man? Because obviously you obviously do not get it I found Lex joke to be ignorant.

Yes, and before you accuse me of lying plenty of JUBers have seen my pics to know better. You're preaching to the wrong guy though, I have a Family Guy sense of humor where the more offensive it is, the funnier I find it. I don't take life that seriously to take umbrage to something posted on a message board, but if you do hey more power to ya sister.

 

[IamNoah]

Your statement is very PC but you fail to acknowledge that WHITENESS is symbolized in queer culture as the ultimate standard. Yes people can date whomever they want BUT what I am talking about is the fact the FEW out gay black entertainers sleep with white lovers. I think it was a conscious decision on their parts wanting social acceptance for being gay by going white.

Whiteness is the gold standard of beauty *everywhere* where Europeans have ever set foot--this is not me expressing approval, I actually think it's a kind of soft racism. BUT using me as an example dating a white man (and several before him), speaking standard English, and being deeply assimilated in the majority culture (in terms of who most of my friends are, what music I like, etc) has not, can not, and will not make me a beneficiary of white privilege. I love my husband, but four years in I still do not see what possible benefit in terms of navigating a racist world and racialized gay culture comes to me from his whiteness.

You keep mentioning social acceptance/benefits, etc. But what are these? With straight people you could say fairer skinned offspring will navigate both black and majority culture, so that's a potential benefit; but for obvious reasons this does not apply in same sex relationships.

I've said this same thing three or four ways on this thread: what social benefits come from dating a white guy? (sticking with men as Lesbians have a less racially problematic sexual culture)

 

[IamNoah]

In fact, speaking personally, I think Logan and I have paid small (it's 2014) social costs for being together. People assume he's a size queen and I hate black people.

Whereas in truth he's really not that into most black guys and despite what my sexual history might suggest my racial preferences are pretty close to non-existent. (I will admit a mild thing for blue eyes and for redheads [though Logan is blonde].)

 

[MorrisseyX]

Whiteness is the gold standard of beauty *everywhere* where Europeans have ever set foot--this is not me expressing approval, I actually think it's a kind of soft racism. BUT using me as an example dating a white man (and several before him), speaking standard English, and being deeply assimilated in the majority culture (in terms of who most of my friends are, what music I like, etc) has not, can not, and will not make me a beneficiary of white privilege. I love my husband, but four years in I still do not see what possible benefit in terms of navigating a racist world and racialized gay culture comes to me from his whiteness.

You keep mentioning social acceptance/benefits, etc. But what are these? With straight people you could say fairer skinned offspring will navigate both black and majority culture, so that's a potential benefit; but for obvious reasons this does not apply in same sex relationships.

I've said this same thing three or four ways on this thread: what social benefits come from dating a white guy? (sticking with men as Lesbians have a less racially problematic sexual culture)

. I already pointed it out for some of these out black gays being assimilated into white queer culture is a social benefit. There is also an attitude of superiority I have seen from out black gay menwho have white lovers. A lot of these out black gays also have a very negative attitude towards the black community. Another thing a lot of these out black gays believe sleeping white means they become white.

 

[MorrisseyX]

Whiteness is the gold standard of beauty *everywhere* where Europeans have ever set foot--this is not me expressing approval, I actually think it's a kind of soft racism. BUT using me as an example dating a white man (and several before him), speaking standard English, and being deeply assimilated in the majority culture (in terms of who most of my friends are, what music I like, etc) has not, can not, and will not make me a beneficiary of white privilege. I love my husband, but four years in I still do not see what possible benefit in terms of navigating a racist world and racialized gay culture comes to me from his whiteness.

You keep mentioning social acceptance/benefits, etc. But what are these? With straight people you could say fairer skinned offspring will navigate both black and majority culture, so that's a potential benefit; but for obvious reasons this does not apply in same sex relationships.

I've said this same thing three or four ways on this thread: what social benefits come from dating a white guy? (sticking with men as Lesbians have a less racially problematic sexual culture)

I think you downplay the wanting to belong to fit in and I think this is why those black gay public figures go white. Your comment makes it seem as though the white gay standard is casual when it is actually VERY deleterious. The psychological damage of not being accepted in black culture is a powerful force which makes a lot of the out black gays to go white.

 

[IamNoah]

I think you downplay the wanting to belong to fit in and I think this is why those black gay public figures go white. Your comment makes it seem as though the white gay standard is casual when it is actually VERY deleterious. The psychological damage of not being accepted in black culture is a powerful force which makes a lot of the out black gays to go white.

dude you are preaching to the wrong choir with parts of this. When I discovered how deeply uninterested most gay men were in black men, I spent literal years as a suicidal mess. I'm only 24, but I've "been through it" as far as this race and beauty shit.

As for black culture itself my exposure is limited so I can't say much.

Your earlier post about dating whites being a vehicle for assimilation into the majority culture is interesting; but as an actual assimilate black person (in terms of manner of dress, speech, musical tastes, habits, hobbies, etc), I'll say my husband being white does not shield me from the majority cultures negative judgments of blacks or its hostility--as best I can tell.

 

[MorrisseyX]

dude you are preaching to the wrong choir with parts of this. When I discovered how deeply uninterested most gay men were in black men, I spent literal years as a suicidal mess. I'm only 24, but I've "been through it" as far as this race and beauty shit.

As for black culture itself my exposure is limited so I can't say much.

Your earlier post about dating whites being a vehicle for assimilation into the majority culture is interesting; but as an actual assimilate black person (in terms of manner of dress, speech, musical tastes, habits, hobbies, etc), I'll say my husband being white does not shield me from the majority cultures negative judgments of blacks or its hostility--as best I can tell.

I think you make some generalizations I live in Toronto and I have had men of all races being interested in me. I think you place a high standard on whiteness. In Toronto I have also met plenty of handsome gay black men. You do not mention if black gay men were interested in you? Or is your preference for whites only?

 

[IamNoah]

I think you are projecting or misinterpreting. But this is tedious. Be happy.

 

[G-Lexington]

Dude, I'm white. I can't be but ignorant in matters of race. But I've heard this song before, just with slightly different lyrics. And it's my belief that individuals shouldn't bear the burden for the collective.

Not sure how to put this without giving away more than I'd like, but I'll do my best. I was one of the first what you might call "public people" to come out in my area. Not that I'm massively famous or anything, but I am "known" by more people than those who I've personally met. So, to put it somewhat simply, there exist a fair chunk of people whom I know nothing about...who not only know that I exist but know that I'm gay.

And I got some grief about this, but much of it was from unexpected corners. It wasn't the homophobic public-at-large that had issues with me being out-and-proud - it was various (small) factions within the gay community. As it happens, I'm somewhat masculine, and I had some gay people upset about that. Because I was showing that "it's OK to be gay only as long as you act straight". But at the same time, I had other gay guys upset that I went to a drag show or something, because "it's important to show that being gay doesn't just mean going to drag shows all the time".

The thing is - I'm an individual, not a collective condensed down into a single human being. And yes, to a degree, I understand the idea that I should put forth a more-or-less positive representation. But to me, nothing was more important than the sheer fact that it was known that I was gay. The rest of it was exactly the same aspect of it - me being me. I wasn't "acting straight" because I was ashamed of my gayness...any more than I was going to the drag show because I thought I was supposed to because I'm gay.

As it happens, nobody had anything to say about my choice in boyfriends. But I chose mine not for what it might say about the state of homosexuality in the year Anno Domini Whatever, but because this was a guy I was really into. And I trust everybody else to do the same.

Lex

 

[Kulindahr]

Look maybe for you since you are white think this is funny BUT when you are from a marginalized community and see people from your race follow the white standard it is very disappointing. I don't think white gay people understand my point of view. It would be MORE empowering to the black community gay or straight if these black public figures had BLACK partners. I don' think Lex truly understands what it means to be ostracized.

Well, since you've already exposed yourself as a racist hypocrite, it really doesn't matter what Lex understands.

 

[Kulindahr]

Your statement is very PC but you fail to acknowledge that WHITENESS is symbolized in queer culture as the ultimate standard. Yes people can date whomever they want BUT what I am talking about is the fact the FEW out gay black entertainers sleep with white lovers. I think it was a conscious decision on their parts wanting social acceptance for being gay by going white.

A bit of education:

All newcomers to social acceptance tend to seek out partners who are part of the established top end of the power structure. It doesn't matter if it's religion, ethnicity, or skin color. It's a recognized sociological phenomenon which in fact is a step toward full acceptance. It was that way with Catholics, Germans, and now Hispanics in terms of immigration... and with blacks in terms of actually being seen as Americans.

Thus, if you had your way, black gays would continue to be regarded as second best, second class. It's only once the mixing is common enough that it becomes part of the norm that advancement is made.

 

[Kulindahr]

Whiteness is the gold standard of beauty *everywhere* where Europeans have ever set foot--this is not me expressing approval, I actually think it's a kind of soft racism. BUT using me as an example dating a white man (and several before him), speaking standard English, and being deeply assimilated in the majority culture (in terms of who most of my friends are, what music I like, etc) has not, can not, and will not make me a beneficiary of white privilege. I love my husband, but four years in I still do not see what possible benefit in terms of navigating a racist world and racialized gay culture comes to me from his whiteness.

That's because Europeans have, by and large, been the conquering or dominant power. If you look at ancient Persia, you can see the same thing there, except that everyone wanted to be like the Persians, marry a Persian, get a Persian married into one's family. It's human nature, almost certainly actually in our genes, because it's a path to success for one's self and one's family and one's community.

 

[Kulindahr]

Dude, I'm white. I can't be but ignorant in matters of race. But I've heard this song before, just with slightly different lyrics. And it's my belief that individuals shouldn't bear the burden for the collective.

Not sure how to put this without giving away more than I'd like, but I'll do my best. I was one of the first what you might call "public people" to come out in my area. Not that I'm massively famous or anything, but I am "known" by more people than those who I've personally met. So, to put it somewhat simply, there exist a fair chunk of people whom I know nothing about...who not only know that I exist but know that I'm gay.

And I got some grief about this, but much of it was from unexpected corners. It wasn't the homophobic public-at-large that had issues with me being out-and-proud - it was various (small) factions within the gay community. As it happens, I'm somewhat masculine, and I had some gay people upset about that. Because I was showing that "it's OK to be gay only as long as you act straight". But at the same time, I had other gay guys upset that I went to a drag show or something, because "it's important to show that being gay doesn't just mean going to drag shows all the time".

The thing is - I'm an individual, not a collective condensed down into a single human being. And yes, to a degree, I understand the idea that I should put forth a more-or-less positive representation. But to me, nothing was more important than the sheer fact that it was known that I was gay. The rest of it was exactly the same aspect of it - me being me. I wasn't "acting straight" because I was ashamed of my gayness...any more than I was going to the drag show because I thought I was supposed to because I'm gay.

As it happens, nobody had anything to say about my choice in boyfriends. But I chose mine not for what it might say about the state of homosexuality in the year Anno Domini Whatever, but because this was a guy I was really into. And I trust everybody else to do the same.

Lex

The thing is, sociologically the black guys dating whites are bringing progress to their whole community. Only when such pairings become ho-hum will equality have been achieved.